You turn around and see this dangerous vampire looking at you

Girls wear dresses, she's in a dress.
Check mate.

bully her with my dick*

Basically this

this is a faithful japanese boyfriend

kids don't count, ask any catholic

>one is gazillion years old
>another one is in her 20s
>the third one is a zombie

This. Maybe toss in a hug too. We all know she's more than deserving.

there are no kids in the show

wait i dont remember this happening

CALL THE WITCH HUNTERS. DAMMNED VON CARSTEIN BLOODLINE MUST END.

Give her a hug

ep 2 of Onimonogatari arc

He's kissed/ or has been kissed by every loli

I turn her around 180 degrees.

Fix whatever is making her cry.
Bantz with her until smug is reestablished.

Now what?

I wonder when it will be Kanbaru's turn to be kissed by araragi

Also what a good friend Ononoki is

She's crying out of embarrassment

Thanks! It's been too long since I last watched Second Season

Embarrassment has a source. It can be fixed.

>you will never pat her head and cuddle with her
I AM SO JEALOUS

Fuck you. I should be desensitized by now, but it still hurts.

Have you watch the last ep of Koyomimonogatari?

she also comes back in mayoi hell

I guess that has moved to the top of my list.

Serious question. How can this pedo stuff be put in such a popular anime? Like can someone explain the cultural background behind how this is acceptable in Japan but would be heavily demonized in the west?

Scream like a little bitch, and then offer her my blood.

Radiation.

Japanese people love cute things way more than anyone else. The west spontaneously forgot its long history of marrying eight year olds.

>drawings
>pedo

You sneak up on a dangerous vampire and touch her on the shoulder and she makes this face.

What are your actions?

God I want Kizu III PV so much

Tease her and hug her tenderly.

There definitely is a sentiment over there that as long as it's cute, it's ok. Keep in mind, though, that Monogatari is far from mainstream. They definitely wouldn't be able to air that during regular hours.

Lick her nape and then blow on it.

Rip out her tongue then drive 7 silver stakes through her vital points, then finish her off with a mantra and seal her body in a coffin made of a thousand year old white oak tree. Make sure no donut restaurants are built in the vicinity of a 20 km radius.

>ARE YOU AN ITALIAN?

what did she mean by this?

I already learned my lesson about cute lil girl vampires from 30 days of night, Vamp, and Interview with the vampire

youtube.com/watch?v=btmHEjVMlCE

There is a cam rip of it.
youtube.com/watch?v=tTOsFvmBu4Q

>user tries to stick his hand in her mouth
>cuts her hand on her teeth
>can't get his hand all the way in
>gets smacked so hard he falls on his ass
>"y-you too"
>runs away like a bitch

I know about it. But I want real footage.

Of course Hanekawa acts like a slut at the end and ruins the mood.

Patience.

> dat Araragi's voice
> dat Kissshot's voice
I can't fucking wait

>drawing
>pedo

Air what?

Araragi was in the middle of getting verbally abused and then kissed her. Italians are all about the sad and depressed hero, plagued with faults and hidden desires. Most italian movies are depressing as fuck, either just sad all around, or very dark and depressing. The stories may be about love but the plots are always so grim and upsetting.

I think what Shinobu meant is that his response to being abused and scared was to kiss her, like some Italian movie star might do. It doesn't really change their situation any, but the human act of embracing and kissing was meant to lighten the emotional load they were under. Something to take their mind off of what was happening, if only for a few seconds.

>tfw dont get to lovingly harrass hachikuji

captcha : pre-school lane

What the fuck are you on about? Italians just have a reputation for kissing a lot.

THE BEST
THE BEST
THE BEST

that'sa nice-a explanation

I root my radish.

Youre forgetting that the fact that 14 year old girls are shown in a sexual manner in monogatari which is almost as taboo. Japs don't give a fuck

Whatta beaut.

Is Kizu II out yet?

Ask where is the big bat so I can motorboat

If you see little bat, then there's no big bat around. Shapeshifting is weird like that.

Wave hi, say "sup", walk away and hope she doesn't follow

Please. You'd be back there offering your blood within five minutes.

Ask to see the more attractive movie version of herself instead.

shinobu is always cute every day

spotted the pedo

The movies spent more on properly conveying her cuteness/beauty. Some people still find other characters more attractive, so they've failed, but they're doing better.

I put on my robe and wizard hat

Fuck off faggot. I bet you don't even cast magic missile at the darkness.

>THE POWER OF MONTE CHRISTO COMPELS YOU!
>use my palm to boop her forehead and exorcise her.

You look up and see this dangerous looking snail.
How do you proceed?

Molest it harder.

Hell no, why would I help something that kills humans to live?

Because that's the best chance you'll ever have to do something worthwhile with your life.

What makes you think her life is worth more than mine?

Human life is worthless in comparison to such a goddess. Also maybe she'll fuck me as a reward/pity.

True Beauty is worth more than the life of one mortal. I know it might not seem like it- because that's a crude representation of Shinobu instead of the woman herself- but you'd understand if you saw her.

?

let her give me a love bite and do an araragi move on her

Well you can jerk off about your medieval fantasies elsewhere, the modern world doesn't have time for that shit. And what was Koyomi's dumbass thinking in the movie when he sees a vampire asking for blood and crying for it like a bitch, and then actually gives his life to her? Idiot.

>live in reality
We're already discussing mongolian cave paintings on the internet. The closest thing to reality that matters here is canon.

Most of us still have family and friends though. You don't have to be a normalfag to have family that you love, either.

You're discussing a hypothetical situation involving magic. If you're going to ignore part of it, or dismiss it as impossible then why discuss it at all?

What magic does she use? I don't recall

A combination of the collective beliefs of humanity and the raw beauty of her soul. It's basically Nisio saying he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

I'll give you that she's beautiful but I dunno about that soul. Don't vampires not have souls?

Vampires have to have souls. In Dracula exorcising a vampire was basically equivalent to saving its soul. That's why Christian symbols are effective against them.

Vampires are cursed souls, a foul existence. Created stuff like Frankenstein don't have soul and are a different kind of fou

use ripple

Did Kiss-shot have sex with her first servant? Has she ever had sex with anyone?

It seems hard to believe she could go 500+ years with no sex. If she has, would you consider shinobu a virgin? Kiss-shot isn't Shinobu, though they have the same memories.

hope that she can be the one that finally kills me.

>Kiss-shot isn't Shinobu
They're absolutely the same person. It's been obvious for ages, but Ougi Dark makes it irrefutable. Why the fuck would a shapeshifter taking a different form change who they are as a person?

...

...

I love Mr. Donut. That shit is really worth her praise.

teleport behind her and pat head. Nothing personnel.

>The batter is Shinobu Oshino.

>It would be one thing if she were still the tiny girl she had been until just other day, but as a tall, slender, long-haired blonde in a gorgeous dress, an unparalleled beauty so dazzling it makes you want to avert your eyes, not to mention one wearing stilettos, her gripping a metal bat and awaiting the ball with one foot forward is akin to a sewing machine on a dissecting table. The image is unbalanced enough to be a dissecting table on top of a sewing machine.
...
>I step onto the diamond—I mean, the park grounds.

>“Oh! There you are, my master!”

>Shinobu is the first one to notice me.

>Seeing that beautiful, elegant, lovely, radiant—at any rate, that blonde beauty with a first-rate figure, who there could never be enough flowery words to describe, innocently waving her hand (actually, she’s waving the sword) and calling out to me like that feels a little awkward, or rather, disorienting.

>“That took you long enough! We’ve been waiting for you—we were growing bored, so we decided to partake in a game of croquet to pass the time!”

>So it was croquet…

>I’ve heard that croquet was the prototype for baseball, but I have close to no knowledge of what the sport actually entails.

>“Ha! “Haha! “Hahahaha!” she laughs.

>After rushing up to me, Shinobu lifts me up and spins me around in the air—it’s a motion almost like a Giant Swing, or maybe reminiscent of an adult horsing around with a small child, but given our current height difference, it’s become perfectly doable for her.

OWARI 3 FUCKING WHEN, SHAFT?

Now pair that passage with one from her backstory:

>“Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade…”

>As if reflecting, she recited it back.

>“I like it, Suicide-Master. Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicide-Master. It is first-rate. I am very happy. I will endeavor to be a vampire who will bring shame neither to you nor to the name you have given me.”

>“Ah, be diligent. …Right, right, speaking of diligence, here’s your last lesson. When you’re very happy, laugh like this.”

>It was a bit premature, given how her way of speaking hasn’t firmly solidified yet, but I don’t know if we’ll have another opportunity.

>I shouldn’t have any regrets.

>If this is poison testing—if you’re going to get poisoned, might as well finish the plate.

>“Ha.”

>I laughed.

>Because I was very happy.

>“Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Aha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Aha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Aha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

Call Julius Belmont

How can anyone still deny that Shinobu is the main girl of the series?

The day Nisio finally decides to commit the very last page of Monogatari to ink, we're going to be dealing with a lot of Cat and Monkey and Crab and Snail tears. Because it will be a Shinobu end.

I want to give my life for Princess Laura.

So you'd be one more corpse for her to carry on her conscience. What a selfish prick.

I don't want to get my hopes up.

>implying old and busted did not have her time in the sun already as brief as it was.

What the hell else is there to talk about?
Compared to the other main characters, cat, monkey and crab she's more flat and explored already.

Shinobu still has plenty of growth left to go through. Her character is changing pretty rapidly and has come to some conclusions, but hasn't settled yet. Neither has her relationship with Araragi. She also has centuries of history to dig into.

As of owari 3 she is pretty much owari herself.

Scary vampire!

exhentai.org/g/814722/48bbb08dca/
exhentai.org/g/862166/9f504d7562/
exhentai.org/g/600884/b47920172e/
exhentai.org/g/507497/db6e855bd2/
exhentai.org/g/785516/a508c1f6eb/
exhentai.org/g/971872/01358ed0b2/

The fuck are you talking you dense inbreed motherfucker.

>korean
Get this shit out of here.

...

exhentai.org/g/621178/fb568ed0f1/

HYDRO STORM

Not that I didn't already have the link, but thanks for posting it for others. A good gent, you are sir.

Can I haeb da pussy please? I'll give you donuts after that.

where's the ntr, lad.

The west never did this

They dont have a long history either, america is only a bit over 300 years old wtf

>he thinks clapland is the only part of the western world

No one has ever said this is acceptable over there either.

The thing is, the otaku culture is probably as desensitized of sex stuff as the US is of violence.

And you are both being weird about it.

I obliterate her.

Sacrifice my doughnut to this powerful being.

Throw the distraction donuts at her

That's just setting the table.

>Kiss-shot isn't Shinobu
>a sealed monster isn't a sealed monster because it's sealed

^Isn't really wrong though. Just finished watching "It's a beautiful Life."
Happy title, happy love story. They have a kid and everything is fucking peachy. Then suddenly the Nazis.

Or Life is Beautiful what ever the fuck it was called basically the whole point is crab is best girl or something I guess fuck blood-sugar loli

>The west spontaneously forgot its long history of marrying eight year olds.
That's soon about to change. Atleast in Yurop.

Kiss-Shot is a monster in form only.

...

For some people this is a nightmare at the end.
For others. Its a dream to be bitten by the three best girls.

Face of a true bliss

exhentai.org/g/971872/01358ed0b2/

I only see two best girls and an average one.

>sticks an icecream in dolls butt while snail is rimming him from behind
even in doujins he's still the best mc

I've got to give the credit to Hachikuji for seizing the initiative on that one.

...

kek

Son, you gotta SMITE ALL THE EVIL.

A vampire is a monster, no matter what person it is.

>Potion seller, I'm going to fight a vampire, and I want only your strongest potions.

If you get bit it's all over, so why bother with potions?

My potions could kill a dragon, let alone a vampire.

Well the problem is getting the vampire to drink it.

Just mix it into some doughnut batter

Shinobu hasn't gone that soft. She knows not to take food from enemies. You'll at least need to take over a donut shop and put it in all of the donuts until she gets some from there.

Shinobu can’t handle my strongest potions. No one can. I'll simply use a potion to make the doughnut smell so delicious she can't help but eat it.

...

When will Arararagi just fuck the vampire instead of molesting his close friends and family?

When his willpower breaks down and he admits that he's cheating on his girlfriend.

Cheap-shot her, and while she is distracted go behind her and then behead her while saying she is too weak to challenge me.

Pssshhh... Nothin' personnel, loli

It's not cheating if they're sisters/not real humans

edgelord kill yourself

...

...

*unzips garlic*

this man knows, like teaching feeling

>all of the feet fanservice with shinobu

christ, based shaft sure knows their target audience

This is the first time I've felt at all attracted to feet.

embrace it user

...

offer donuts in return for sparing my life

i bet she has bunions like the old hag she is

>not creating a shinobu harem in honeyselect
what are you doing guys?

Throw garlic at her

Natural 1

>best
>multiple
Sasuga lolicon

I'd take teen vamp, please.

Ask her how did she get in my room

There's a wall behind me

...

It's a hard concept to describe. I'm not a film connoisseur or anything so I don't know if there's a name for what I described. I actually really like love stories like that, depressing horrible. I think most people get turned off by it because it's not a nice campy romance with a happy ending, but to me it seems more realistic in a way. American romantic comedies are always so painfully sweet and dopey and hard to watch.

why was she afraid of showing her tits to araragi again?

...

...

this never happened what are you talking about?

>3d
>shitty 3d at that

she hesitates to take her clothes off in front of araragi during shinobu mail. they were swaping their hoodies

This is the downside of Shinobu being so good that even morons can realize it.

meant to quote this

Read kizumonoagatari again.
Cried again

What does Shinobu Mail do to you? That arc is always more emotionally draining for me.

I rewatched it and there was 0 hesitation Owari episode 9
Araragi gives Kanbaru his hoodie, and she puts it on.
Then Kanbaru asks if he'll be okay and he says he might be a little cold
She immediately takes of her hoodie while his is over top

I didn't count how many times I watched it. Probably the ln is better, unfortunately it isn't translated

Become an italian

/a has given me strange fetishes too. Just accept it.

You're a dirty liar with filthy accusations.
Don't force her to prove her innocence again.

...

here i made this for you

>mfw her jacket is warm
>mfw it smells like her

Fucking Araragi, he can't keep getting away with this.

he also sees her naked multiple times, she takes his underwear off and even worse is that they've linked arms

And he doesn't even have the common courtesy to bone her.
Araragi does not deserve the happiness he fails to see he's got.

She's not a loli.

Hope for this

every woman was a loli once

but she was too pure

But not every woman is a loli in the present.

You wouldn't dare

But he went back in time.

I would crush this monkey cunny.

Why would he go through all those time travel troubles again just to get a regular human loli when he already has two god-tier supernatural ones?

stop

loli monkey is NOT for lewd

But I just to turn her straight by shower her the power of an erect male penis.

she is bi
read the lns

...

...

What the fuck is that thing?

3 gatsu x monogatari collab short story

How much time does it take to translate all the LNs by Vertical. I don't want to grow old by that time (23 currently)

Also Onimonogatari makes me cry more than Shinobu Mail

you'll be long gone before SHAFT is finished milking the series

I am not talking abour the anime. I meant LNs

teen >

THIS

bakemonogatari part 1: dec 20
part 2: feb 28 2017
part 3: apr 25 2017
so thats about a book every 3 months
if you extrapolate it should be done sept 2021 provided each volume is 2 books and nothing new comes out

I want to fuck her.

If his is the case, I can master Japanese and read them by myself in 4 years. So I should start visiting DJT.

The Loli Trinity

In the name of the Vamp, the Snail, and the Dolly Cutie. Amen.

>You turn around and see this dangerous vampire looking at you.
>What are your actions?

>didn't cut off the head, burn the body, and bury them upside-down in a mirror-lined box by a crossroads
Nigger you are just ASKING to get ghouled.

looks like euler with big tits

...

So where does Part II end at?

After defeating the exorcists.

If Araragi got a horrible Priapism, could he convince Shinobu to suck the blood out of his dick before he gets permanent erectile dysfunction?

His vampire powers would regenerate it. Someone could rip the entire thing off and it would grow back like new in about a minute.

Stop bringing logic into my scheme to get Shinobu to bite his dick

Shinobu is an idiot so it might work.

Give it a decade and Araragi could just ask Shinobu to bite his dick.

Offer her a japanese jelly donut

...

Does Shinobu like it rough?

She likes whatever fits the mood.

You know, I never thought twice about those being called jelly donuts. The only thought that crossed my mind was, is there really jelly in them.

Totally a serious ritual of subservience guys. I swear.

...

Unzip my dick, and let her bite it.

...

>Araragi will never go full vampire
>he will never be able to turn into a shota for Shinobu to ravage
>they will never do other kinky shape-shifting sex

you need to research more doujins

I've read every one I could get my hands on. The closest I got was a non-H body swap one by Campus Life.

>Cried again
It becomes a bit more trivial, when you realise, that Kisshot was just going through a phase and nobody had lost anything. Well, except for that pries dying, but fuck that guy.

I don't actually think there's a single scanned loli Shinobu /ss/ doujin.

I could see someone crying at Araragi's oath and the emotions is was uttered with. In fact, I don't think that anyone is going to cry because they thought someone had lost something.

WE SURPASS NAGASH

Get in line, bitch boy.

...

...

Kiss her on the forehead.

That's lewd user

Yeah. The better option is sweeping her off her feet and kissing her so long and hard that she can't think any more.

What age Shinobu is best?

598

She's a much more rounded person by 599 though.

Kabuki fucking destroyed me

Gas that horrible monster.

Reminder, people that see this monster as a "little girl" are only seeing what they want to see. Its a trick done by the monster.

Hello Saya

liked her most when she was cold and spiteful...

...maybe something is wrong with me.

What sort of cold and spiteful are we talking about here? Bake pout-in-the-corner spiteful or Nise say-slightly-mean-things spiteful?

the nise one, without talking at all she was just a prop

It's really hard to see that as spiteful. It was actually pretty textbook tsundere if you dig into her motivations. She still has that same spark later on too, even if less frequently.

I cried because of kiss-shot.

Could Venom take out Kiss Shot?

No. If even a thrall of hers can regenerate from scattered ashes then he doesn't have a weapon that can stop her.

He can just fulton her

When does MGS let you fulton a boss character?

You can fulton the Skulls.
There aren't really any decent bossfights in the game, though.
Hardmode Quiet is ok, but the rest is just shit, especially Sahalanthropus.

...

a cat is fine too

Look up Casanova.

...

...