What stars would you be able to get as yourself?

the ones where I talk to a toad

I wouldn't be able to lift King Bob-omb, and I wouldn't be able to go underwater long enough for Jolly Rodger Bay. And I think if you can't do that you can't unlock access to any further stars.

>mfw cant even get those

None. Wouldn't be able to pick up Bomb King. Can't do 8 coins without a cannon (and I'd die from impact), can't stomp a wooden stump down with my ass.

None of the other castle areas are accessible without at least one star.

You could just collect 100 coins though

>socializing
Damn son, that's even harder than maintaining a syncing speed

One where you talk to a toad and get one for free

I don't think you can without going up to the floating island and nabbing some of those coins floating off the side.

Anyone awesome enough to open up Mario 64, go around bob-omb battlefield, and see if you can collect 100 coins without any inhuman tricks (aka, only running and jumping, no highjumps or longjumps or canons or flying, heck, not even jumpin on goombas, don't fuck with me you can not jump that high)

Goombas ain't that tall so I guess we can jump on them

Could be skinny enough to slip through the bars next to the chain chomp and steal that star

how many units height are they? and how many unit heights is mario? and what's mario's actual height if ever stated?

Goombas may not be tall, but you're still nearly jumping your own height, which I doubt you can do

I must compliment you on a very interesting question. I have no idea though.

Can't be fucked but a quick Google says there are 146 coins in the area. How many of those require the Wing cap or the cannon?

Well, there's an official life-sized Mario statue that puts him at 150cm.

If I have access to every room to try every star, I may or may not be able to survive the princess' slide and get it's star. Otherwise, there isn't a bob-omb battlefield star I can get.

I could beat Koopa the Quick if I manage to jump that one gap up the hill, but that should be doable for a decently athletic guy.

Here's the official Mario size chart, for comparison

Canonballs

honestly senpai, the koopa races. Also slides.

You can run past them, the rolling ones are easy enough to dodge if I don't brainfart somehow, and the ones rolling around in the pit you can just hold on to the the bars at the right side.

Mario looks like a midget though.

>Also slides.

Maybe the Princess' Secret slide since that has railings but anyone would fall to their death on the other two.

there are a few boxes or elevated areas you could get enough height to jump on them from

The princess' slide has some railings, but there is a sharp turn or two without them.

Would it even be possible to for the average human to rescue Peach?
Dire Dire Docks is a mandatory level for one star, and that would require someone holding their breath for a while.

You can just punch them.

>punching and kicking goombas to death till they give you a fucking coin
Would be fun

I could punt goombas.

Well, can't get anymore.

If it were the DS version this fight might be doable since he throws bob-ombs that can be tossed back.

You sure would have to be brave, though.

I doubt it. Some people could possible clear DDD but the Bowser level after that? If you don't fall into lava you'd still die from the insane heat.

it's actually do able, but fuck if i'm going into the water with that eel in there.

But there's two upstairs and one in the basement, you'd have to get past Bowser first.

Wonder if this change is supposed to be depicting King bob-omb to be the kind of guy to give his opponents a chance.

Just how heavy is pic related?

Gonna try this on Dolphin and stream/record it if i actually do it

that's some gross UV mapping on the left glove

he's most likely made of metal so probably heavy as all fuck
no way you're going to basically overhead press him and throw him

I guess I can bring the baby penguin back to its mother, but I have no idea how I can even get enough stars to even take this mission.

I thought of this too, but then realized how the little brat is gonna behave all the way down.

Then the meme of throwing it off stage will happen, and back to zero stars.

I can only get 48 coins in Bob-Omb battlefield without doing any jumps that seems unnaturally high and not punching cause im weak shit

So I guess not, but im gonna keep spanning my strength until i get 100 coins

I guess I could probably do the one where you have to deliver the baby penguin to its mother.

Is Super Mario 64 a legitimately good game or do people give it a pass because it was the first 3d platformer they played?

When you think about it jolly roger bay isn't that large as far as volume goes, It takes mario about 30 seconds to dive through the hole to other side of the cavern. If you can hold your breath for a fairly long time and swim as well as mario, which isn't that difficult, I think it's doable.

You'll probably get a seizure and die if you forget the treasure chest pattern though.

How did you get 80? I only got 69
Only doing regular jumps and punches

It is a fucking fantastic game. There is no 3D platformer after it with a movement system is complex and with such a high skill ceiling as it, and its level design plays to its controlls' strength.

On top of that it shaped 3D game design up until today. But its historic relevance is just the cherry on top.

it's great because you can do things many different ways besides the intended way. the only things that aren't fun are the 8 red coins and 100 coin stars, a couple of the on rail stars, and the camera at times. solid 8/10 game though.

But Petey isn't bigger than that in Sunshine?

No 3d platformer has topped it's movement yet, so no, it's legitimately an amazing game

how many parallel universes would your immortal soul transcend after death?

Let's take a look at all of the stars in bob omb battlefield that are initially available.

>big bob omb can only be killed by throwing him but he's probably too heavy
>Koopa the quick can be beaten by just running and doing short jumps so a fit person would probably be able to beat him. BUT you need to defeat bob omb to unlock that star.
>shoot to the island in the sky can't be done since you need to defeat king bob omb to be able to activate the cannons. also getting shot out of a cannon and falling onto the ground from that height will probably kill you or at least injure you severely.
>one of the red coins is on that island so no getting that star either
>flying through the coin rings is impossible too
>a normal human being wouldn't be able to stomp that log into the ground to free the chain chomp. also if it hits you once you're doomed.
>you need to get at least a few of the coins in the sky for the 100 coins star.

you need one star to unlock more worlds, so that's it. game over.

Did you grab the coins by turning around the 4 logs ? Important note: I grabbed and throwed the small boxes but that may be too much for a human being.
Getting 100 coins is impossible anyway

Scale is variable in the mario series.
Just look at wiggler.

You are saying you wouldn't even be able to beat a goomba with your punches? Kill yourself, you sissy.

You could play it as a kid and just try to get stars and have a fun challenge. 20 years later you can play it as a kid and try to get stars as fast as you can since you know where they are and still have a fun challenge.

One could potentially use a blunt object to hammer in the peg with the chain chomp to get his star

20 years later you can play it as an adult

It's hard to use mario as a reference for weather it's possible or not. He's appears short pudgy, but he's hands down the best jumper in the world, dude can jump a solid 15ft ATLEAST. I imagine the simplest gap mario can jump over is a treacherous gamble for a normal human. I probably can't even make it ON the carpet for rainbow road let alone do fucking rainbow road.

No, I forgot about the logs.

But ya, it's impossible to get 100 coins without... is it even possible on the first go?
Ground pounding is also impossible.
no 8th red coin

if you're strong enough to pick up king bob-omb, you can get a star, but theoretically, he's heavy as fuck

I can't believe I actually tried

When a bob-omb explodes, does it produce shrapnel? Because that could make this a lot more difficult

Nothing that would require me to jump or lift super heavy objects. I'll assume that the goombas are super weak and can be beaten by a punch, but chain chomps, getting launched by a cannon? No way. I'd probably be able to get a few; definitely the slide stars if I could survive the fall down.

I dunno how realistic you want this to be.

Yeah but real life would probably have more friction to slow down a bit more.

>Its a "click verify once none are left episode"
Why the fuck do these things exist? What was wrong with just typing out a word?

Depends how it works. If we assume it's completely realistic we should be able to build tools from the things that are in game.

There's one star in CCM that only requires you to go into an igloo and maneuver around ice.

I think I could get exactly that one.

I don't think there's such an object available and the log is very thick. (pun intended) Also the chain chomp doesn't make it easier and the star is very high up in the air. You need to at least double jump to get it.

you're not thinking like a human, you're thinking like mario.

A human wouldn't be restricted by mario's inability to open doors underwater, allowing them to get into the castle from the door in the moat even with zero stars.

This means access to the basement, and a human could surely get a star or two down there.

You have to jump through some gaps that are like 3 meters above the ground, and ice is not easy to climb on. Plus it will be cold, definately below 0°C, so if you don't have warm clothes with you you would be dead in 30 minutes.

Or do you mean that iglu where you have to go through walls? Then we need to find out wether the inv cap works on you.

>weather

isnt it hard to open that door because of the force of the water blocking it?

just jump on them

Catching the rabbit in the basement would be the least dangerous one I think, although it'd still be fucking hard because I can't catch a rabbit with my bare hands

Yeah, not CCM, I'm thinking snowman's land. I assume I would get access to warm clothing. It would be cold, not uninhabitable.

If that one needed the invisible cap, then I could probably manage to get that one in SML that needed you to climb into an ice sculpture.

SML is the most hospitable level for humans because there are a select few stars that require no platforming, lack hazards and enemies are scarce/non-lethal.

Oh hey, the basement. That's where the toad you talk to to get a star resides. Neat.
Well, assuming my lungs can survive the trip.

You can't jump that high. You have to punch them.
For convenience sake, let's say goombas are fuckwits and are easily beatened with a punch.

goomba will kill him

Fuck

you'd almost certainly fail, the rabbit is beyond fast and falling down trying to catch him would mean going face first into the floor

You try opening a door with 100 tons of water pressing against it.

At least the power of the caps should be available to us though.

That's assuming you can punch as hard a mario, which is laughable at best.

>try to catch the rabbit
>suddenly slip on the wet floor
>fall into Lethal Lava Land Painting
>Welcome to hell motherfucker, enjooy your stay

>Bring can of hornet spray, pepper spray or other projectile chemical insult
>Spray the bunny
>Watch it writhe in agony
>Wrench the star from it

I could get the Slide in Peaches room.

I could definitely jump on a Goomba that size. Why is the Bullet Bill that big though?

You say that like its a long swim.

Well, all the doors in sm64 swing both ways, the only issue would be the door being heavy.

It's not a fucking pressure sealed metal door. Moving shit around underwater isn't that hard, which is all a normal door is.

I haven't played in a while, but isn't there quite some time underwater between the pillars and the main basement section?

Mario can only hold his breath for 64 seconds in sm64

I think you can beat that

It has the best 3D platformer controls ever, and aside from the top two levels, most of the levels are varied, with a variety of themes and unique tricks.
The levels change as certain stars are grabbed, and you can get them out of order.

It's amazingly deep.

The toad only appears when you got a certain amount of stars.

I'm probably skinny enough to slip through Chain Chomp's gate if I'm oiled up, and at a full sprint I can probably avoid the chomp's initial lunge. The only issue is getting the star once in there, that's one of the highest in the game.

we need someone to test that shit.

Bombs are hollow though, i'm sure he would'nt be too heavy, if we consider a bob omb is easily grabbable by any smash brothers character (including pikachu) and thrown over large distances, maybe king bob omb weights as much as a rather big box with bob ombs, still heavy but doable.

Also maybe he gets enough damage from just falling over, making it a possible solution to just push him or make him trip over.

Each level becomes a terrifying commitment without access to the pause menu, you'd HAVE to either collect a star or die to leave

...

And even if he were there, you're not Mario, so I doubt he'd trust you with a star.

In levels with water that you can swim in you can be more risky since swimming should rstore broken limbs and such.

if that's true, then that's a cute little coincidence/easter egg.

thats also an excellent point. how many npcs would treat you the same?

worst part is that you couldn't even beat up toad and take it. even thought they are weak in mario's world, they are still probably cartoonishly strong.

All of them

I'm fucking rich

money talks bitch

I think this guy is right. If the water was only on one side of the door, that shit would be impossible to open.
But there's water on BOTH sides of the door, right? so it shouldnt be hard to open

How many huge gold coins do you own?

oh, well if that's the case than bowser won't even let you fight him since he refuses to fight anyone that isn't mario in the ds version.

they changed it so it was possible for yoshi to get the star

>Enter Bob-Omb Battlefield
>Can't get any star, can't pause to escape
>Live out the rest of your life trapped there, catching goombas for meat and fucking the pink bob-ombs out of boredom

Do coins magically disappear when you grab them, or do you have to hold them with you? Do they heal your damage?

I'd fuck these sluts too

Can you imagine a joke survival game in bob-omb battlefield?

It'd be boring, why did i say this

>Dire Dire Docks
>Start off by falling into ocean or whatever the fuck its supposed to be
>A fucking shark is in there
>A fucking whirlpool is right there
>Long ass swim just to next section, and you have to swim to the bottom to do it

At least with JRB you start on the beach and it isn't that deep, but fuck DDD.

>Bombs are hollow though
Only when they aren't loaded with explosives. And we know this guy is loaded

we should probably establish ground-rules or something.

You can't grab 100 before beating Bob-omb King, I know that because I tried for days to do so as a kid because I was too much of a pussy to fight the boss.

There's pressure on both sides of the door so it would equal out. No way in hell that door is waterproof.

If you show him that you got a lot fo stars from Bowser he would likely trust you to be a good guy. Toads are pretty naive, aren't they?

Maybe not, but yo can punch it several times, you know.
The thing doesn't have arms and isn't very fast, so you can grab him and beat the shit out of him until he is unconscious.

The water levels are definitely impossible unless you have diving equipment and training. Or are just a freakishly good swimmer with huge lung capacity.

>that hidden star where you either collect all the red coins in time or drown

Goombas running at Mario do get some speed, I think, but you could just side step them and keep them at bay with your feet.

Well in SM 64 they only gain speed after a while, so you can just wait for them to stop.

>fucking the pink bob-ombs
This is a good reality

Mario 64 water levels are not that big actually. If you have decent lung capacity and know where to head you should be ok.

Autistically, I tried holding my breath from the entrance of DDD all the way to Bowser's sub. You get a break in between when transitioning between the areas, so it probably is possible if you've got good lungs.

Do coins restore breath like they do in the game? If so, it'd be easier. Although, swimming with a shark and all the rest of the shit in their might invoke too much fear.

Would the Goombas even attack us?
They're after Mario.
You don't see them attacking any other creature

Like Super Mario Bros was with 2D games, Mario 64 is the first 3D game where your character doesn't move like a clunky piece of shit.

The question is, do they hurt us just by touching?

>Go in mario 64, steal energy from power stars, if you can grab any. At 30 stars you become as strong as Mario himself. 1 ups work on you, but once you get one, it doesn't respawn. Coins and water doesn't heal you nor give you 1-ups.
or
>Continue your daily life.

Which one would you choose?
How would it go?

you can probably beat koopa the quick with the shortcuts.

You're not just holding your breath, you're also swimming while totally submerged, which is not trivial.

Fucking easy as fuck. First I would throw a bombomb into chomps mouth to kill him. Then I would build a sledgehammer out of the koopa shell and a stick to hammer that timber beam down for the first Star. To kill king bomb omb I would build a torch to fire up his ass and make him self explode. With my sledgehammer I would beat the shit out of the running koopa to get his star. Even laval levels are easy as fuck, the timing to jump is laughable easy in those levels and there is nothing dangerous with the pinpoint accuracy of controlling my own body. The only danger are water levels.

Can't engage with him without beating the king.

We literally proved it's impossible to get 1 star without mario's abilities

So continue my daily life

They're Bowser's minions, so they'll attack anyone who's trying to recover the stars.

>koopa shells
there are no koopas in bob-omb battlefield
kopa the quick only shows up after you beat king bob-omb

Giant Eels.

You do realize that stepping into LLL or BitFS would make you combust from the convection?

Do we have free reign of the castle and can we select all the stars right off the bat (for the stages where the star you select can change things)?

>100 coin star
Ez

Maybe some underground stars.

>Load a cannon with a friendly pink bomb.
>Fire it at the king and knock his ass off the mountain

Or really, do any sort of human tricks to beat him. He's slow and heavy. Get him close to the edge and just tackle him.

>That one level where you spawn underwater and have to collect the red coins with no air

Can't get 100 coins without being the King either

>there are no koopas in bob-omb battlefield
Someone must not have explored that corner hill by the first cannon

Did you read the thread?
Literally impossible to get that star before king bob-omb

Can't go underground without a star

>Even laval levels are easy as fuck, the timing to jump is laughable easy
Yeah sure, go ahead, I'll watch you moving on the rolling log

Wrong, we established you can get into the castle through the underwater door.

Then I would kill king bomb omb first and shove a bomb up the koopas ass.
What?

Just wanted to say this has been a rather fun discussion.

We have the same mario 64 limitation we'd usually have, except the one that could be interpreted as being specific to Mario like opening doors underwater.
In that specific case, I'd say bob-omb would still have to be beat for koopa to spawn, since it ain't related to Mario being the player character and can't be interpreted as such.

Isn't that a forbidden move ? If I remember well, throwing the king off limits isn't allowed in the game

He's not there before you kill king bob-omb

But what star can you get down there?

Fuck.

Well unlock Mario, I can try my hand at diplomacy and offer him Peach's cake if he assists me.

There's a free Toad star assuming he'll give it to you. If not, Hazy Maze Cave has some plainly accessible stars, just after a bit of a trek.

same nigga

presuming you can open the door, which you probably could since the pressure would be equal on both sides, you'd get access to the desert level, the fire level and the cave level.

you may be able to lure the bird down and nab its star using bait or something

If you could open the door to the basement, couldn't you just talk to the Toad near Hazy Maze Cave and get a free star?

Someone claims he only gives you that star if you have a certain amount of star

As for hazy maze, I'd like to try to get a star there and see if it's possible, but i dont wanna play the game enough to get that far

>But what star can you get down there?
Free Toad star, as well as Lethal Lava Land, Shifting Sand Land, and Hazy Maze Cave

just tried and i could only get 93 coins without getting to the island in the sky or pounding in the logs.

Did you get the coins that spawn from running circles around the logs near the star that appears from 8 red coins?

Well, I should still be fine. Just go through the bars behind the chomp while its in between lunges. I don't think the chain is even long enough to reach the fence.

1. Climb up the castle.
2. Make a deal with Yoshi to help me out.
3. Get tons of stars easily.

it's not supposed to be cute or anything, it's probably just that they assigned the data storage for that value to be 6 bits aka 2^6

Well, coins give you air, so there is that.

I don't even get the opportunity to fuck Peach until I collect 70 and beat Bowser 3 times, and even then there's no guarantee that she'll go along with it.

I'll die trying. Anything for that delicious low poly succ

Would you?

yeah, but i also forgot that the koopa doesn't show up until after you beat koopa the quick. so only 88 coins without pounding the logs and without the cannons/flight/etc.

presuming he'd give it to you, and there's not a hidden star requirement

off the top of my head, you'd probably be able to nab a couple stars from the desert level, getting the bird's, visiting the 4 pillars

the fire level, presuming you don't die from overheating from entering it, i believe you could get the 8 red coin star and the bully the bullies star

hazy maze cave has inhuman jumps short after entering it on all 3 forks, so i don't think thats a good choice

there's also the boo mansion, but that would open up a can of worms. could you kill a boo?

Would it be possible to break down the key doors? I don't remember if theres a star restriction or if it's just because you need the key from fighting bowser.

I'll check both those things.

Are we allowed to clone items? We could Scuttlebug Jamboree our way to a few stars if we could

So, what can Mario do that we can't? In terms of Super Mario 64 controls.

>Blast away the wall

Does anyone know how to the clip underwater glitch so I can get into the basement early? Or have a TAS movie with the inputs?

I wouldn't mind trying, but I don't know how to use someone else's Wii save on Dolphin

I guess i could just do it on project64

Does the Boo actually have to die? As I remember it you can't kill a ghost, so what actually happens is Mario spooks a Boo into hiding by punching it in the ass, and I think I could do that.

But honest to god, fuck going in the piano room.

jump 15 feet in the air, jump 40 feet far, lift tons of weight, breath/heal with coins, live after falling great heights, and heal using water are the ones that come to mind right away

where to even start. he can jump 5 to 6 times is own height vertically and at least 20 times horizontally, heals mortal wounds from dunking his head in water, heals wounds from collecting gold coins. can punch hard enough to break bricks and suffer no ill effects. can stop in midair and channel all kinetic energy in his body into a ground pound

Backflip, tree-stand, somersault off a tree-stand.

Guys I think the real question here is:
How many stars could Pannekoek get if he went into 64 as himself?

Wall jump.
Triple jump.
Being able to walk off long falls
Not dying or suffering horrible permanent burns after falling in lava
Crazy high cartwheels

Cartoon physics instead of just splattering like true flesh and blood

Jump really high, jump really far, punch really hard, lift really heavy stuff, got a neat mustache.

Throwing a bob-omb at a chomp doesn't kill it, it just flies upwards.

It is legitimately fantastic.

we really need ground rules. like if things work based on mario logic where coins heal and stuff or if things work like they do in real life where a bomb should be able to blow up a log or a mixture of both where we're the odd man out.

In his mouth. lad. It will destroy his organs.

You jump into paintings and enter different worlds ad undertake challenges

Nigger of love my children to play something this beautiful when I have them

I'm pretty sure chain chomps aren't flesh and blood creatures.

>jump at full height
>double jump
>triple jump
>long jump
>wall jump
>crouching backflip
>ground pound
>use wing, metal, and invisible caps
>heal with coins and water
>survive falling from great heights
>survive getting shot out of a cannon
>survive lava and fire
>lift really heavy things
>punch hard enough to break bricks without any repercussions
>breath underwater for long periods of time (professional divers can hold their breath for the same or even longer periods of time, but the average human won't even come close)
>handstand on the tops of trees, and do somersaults off of them
This is just off of my head. There's probably even more shit he can do that we can't.
He's just a human. He probably couldn't do anything we can't.

What about the slide one?

You can't go a single mario 64 thread without mentioning that shitty meme?
Get the fuck out with that shit.

Yeah, I've been wondering about that, are Chain Chomps supposed to be robots? Or are they organic and covered in fur we can't see?

do not harm the doggo

I think a better question would be what can we do in game that Mario can't?

I think they're magically animate iron balls.

Man I tried to play this Mario 64 on the DS and I just cant. The controls fucking suck.

Fucking terrifying

I was scared to go near this in the game ,irl would be horrible

We came with the water door conclusion

But i think someone's still experimenting what's achievable there

just take a ladder and a hand gun with you

The controls are okay. The worst part is having to claw your rightmost finger to reach the A-button because your thumb has to be on Y.

This fucking eel and the dragon in Tomb Raider are my childhood nightmare creatures.

If someone would want to simulate playing as a human in Super Mario 64, controls would probably be restricted as fuck
We could
>short jump
>punch and kick things
and that would be about it. Of course, there are somethings we could do that Mario couldn't, like opening doors underwater.

good news, you could probably squeeze past the bars in here. bad new is that they are infinitely thin and would cut the shit out of you if you pressed up against them.

Anything that video game logic normally prevents. Opening doors underwater is one as mentioned above. Assuming the doors locked by keys aren't locked magically then we could pick the locks. Breaking fences and wielding the wood planks as a weapon could work, in general destroying and repurposing any logically destructible object that's only indestructible due to gameplay logic is your best bet here.

In fact, I'd say being able to pull a Macgyver and weaponize parts of the scenery is probably the only way you'd get anything accomplished here.

You fortunately wouldn't be able to jump that high to access it.

>dixie and toadette are at prime succ level
good shit.

>all these fools who think they can open doors underwater

Do you guys not know how heavy water gets? The door is at the bottom of the moat which is a good 20-30 feet deep.

They already suck for not having proper analog controls even with the 3DS pad.

yeah but im pretty strong

If Boos hide because you're looking at them, I'd just close my eyes and start windmilling my arms in the hopes I'd hit them.

>Water is on both sides of the door
>No way in hell that door is water proof meaning that the pressure on both sides is equal
>Doors open both ways
Yeah, you're a retard

>20-30
more like 2-3

You almost never need it, and you can compensate with the camera.

This raises a good point. Is there anything a human could do that Mario's moves don't account for?

The theory is it's only hard to open a door if ONE side of the door is blocked by water

If both sides are submerged in water, it's just a regular door.

You can argue "then wouldn't mario be able to go in himself?" and you're right, but we're really trying to stretch something here that a human could do it

Getting the first star in HMC is definitely possible for a human, so one possible route is to go through the underwater door and get this one.

The pressure is equal on both sides of the door, so the weight of the water is irrelevant. You could open it.

I'm paralyzed in a wheel chair so I wouldn't even be able to get up the stairs to the first room.

Doesn't change that the controls suck because of it. The DS game is just a huge step down. From the way how tedious they made it to change characters to the shitty controls.

Climbing, in particular. Mario has to jump and can't climb things that would be easy for a human, like the red grates in HMC for example.

A human could also get the star at the top of the pyramid

I don't think a human at his prime could make the jump from the start to the black hole room.

The very first thing you have to do is long jump across a huge pit, there's no way

>not asking the toads for help
>muh wheelchair pride
>muh treat me like everyone else garbage mentality

Question: If I didn't have 120 stars on this save, would this water be MUCH higher?
On my save, it's way too high for me to jump and I can't climb.

But I'm assuming there's normally water here and a human could just swim up there

I didn't take that route, I went the other way where the only gap jump is the short one with the fire. A human could do that with a running jump. The only other potential obstacle is a long drop in one place, but you'd be able to slow your fall or climb down using the mesh.

>Go into bomb-omb battlefield
>try to convince the enemies that the real threat is King Bomb-omb
>Your enemies kill King Bomb-omb
>Collect star

Probably not an easy task to make your enemies defect, but it's a possibility.

As long as your arms work you could drag yourself and your chair up the stairs if you really had to.

Yes, before ground pounding the pillars, the water level is high enough where you can hop out of the water and be on the floor.

I could axe down the door though

Just drag your dead legs up the stairs and go down the slide on the right

You'd all get ZERO fucking Stars because you'd all die from the fall into Bobomb Battlefield, crippling your legs and dying from starvation.

That's what I thought, just wanted reassurance.

Going to try hazey maze myself

I believe it's full before you drain the moat.

are the caps a 'mario only' power?

>Only enemies that could potentially be a threat Akbar on sight.

Oh well in that case
>rip sign or some other object out of the ground in front of castle
>smash the doors blocking stages with easy stars

imagine how fast you could go on the slides though

8 red coins in lethal lava land
all the stars that Toads give you

There is literally one of those spinning hearts that give you health a few metres from the start point.

But isn't that just a shell? With powder and/or organs inside?

I think he'd just be pretty heavy. Say 150 lbs.?

Those doors are magically seal though. The doors with locks on them maybe but given that the key looks pretty magical then the door might also be magic.

And in your crippled state, you'd drag your broken legs across the floor and either get bibles by a goomba or blown up by a bomb.

Just wanna say that lava stage is impossible. This is the first jump you do, and even if Mario is 5 ft tall, that's nearly a 20feet jump.
Mario can barely do it just holding A the whole time, which involves a jump height way above a humans.

Now i'll go to hazey maze

>There is no 3D platformer after it with a movement system is complex and with such a high skill ceiling as it

I mean.

Super mario sunshine?

Galaxy levels tended to be a little more simple, but still.

Princess' Secret Slide 1. Cool Cool Mountain 1 and 2. Footage with Koopa the Quick (maybe)

If you break open a cap block while not wearing your hat a bob-omb comes out, so it depends on whether or not we have Marios hat.

This is a more significant point than you might think at first. Hatless Mario takes double damage, so if we had his hat we would take half the damage we normally do. Most things would still be fatal, but it's a significant help.

This is assuming the hit magic would even work on us, and doesn't only apply to Mario.

Not really, avoiding those things is easy as fuck. There would be literally no problem dragging yourself to that.

We are basing this silly thread on the idea you start the same as Mario.
You cannot access any of those stars without beating King Bob-omb

Lethal Lava Land is not a risk I'd be willing to take. Fall in once and you're fucked, plus the heat would get to you.

Not that loaded. King Bob-Omb's defeat barely even exploded any more than a normal Bob-Omb.

The thing people aren't addressing here is that those platforms are close enough to the lava that you'd probably be burning just from proximity to the lava. You'd die just from existing in that stage.

Wheelchair?
You're good senpai

youtube.com/watch?v=e326tDj-koU

Organs can get pretty heavy. Best case scenario he weighs as much as a rhino.

What would be harder to play as an actual human, Mario 64 or Spyro the Dragon 1?

what a horrific death, stuck on the tiny island you spawned on until you either die of heat exhaustion or attempt the jump and burn to death

That's another possibility and I agree
but i felt like seeing it anyways. even if it wasn't deathly hot, i can't jump that far

Could I not just kick the shit out of Koopa for the star? I don't think he'd put up much of a fight.

>there will never be a nintendo game with g00d graphics
w0w

Isn't there one in Whomps Fortress where you can get it by climbing down a pole?

Fair, and also, damn.

He's a fuckhuge turtle, if he fights back you'd be ded nigga

Just wanted to show that left side is most likely impossible to jump (pretty far, but it is lower?), and right side looks pretty possible

Maybe about 10 of them, under the circumstances, if that. That generously assumes that skipping stars is canon, and going for stars that are more knowledge than ability.

I forgot KtQ is one of the only stars he has to have his specific level a elected to complete.
Sure, but he's not a bad guy. I want to win it fair and square.

Yeah, but the level design in Mario 64 is better, so while the gameplay in Sunshine technically has more depth, a high skill Mario 64 playthrough is more impressive because you get to do more cool shit in the levels that is actually practical.

Here's right side.

Again, he barely makes it with a full A-hold jump. I'm kind of skeptical
might be a ledge grabber for a human

Actually I tried again

an A-tap can make the jump

Yeah, shit. I'm a foot and a bit taller than Mario, but Koopa stands taller then that by comparison. He has big eyes though, you could punch him there.
If Koopa has a power star he's one of Bowser's minions. I'd be okay with knocking him over.

Remember that you'd have to be able to jump into the painting, and if you can do that then you can jump on top of Goombas.

See the bottom of a pole between coins and stars? You drop from there to the ground.
I don't know if that'd break my knees.
Even hazey maze sounds like it'd be pushing me to my limits as a human

>there are anons that can't box jump their height
wew, you fucking fat bodies, Goombas should be easy

could climb into it easily.

big thing is, presuming we don't have prior knowledge, would the voice that tells mario to jump into the paintings also tell that to you? i know i wouldn't be touching paintings. i'd probably examine the moat before thinking to touch one

Can you take a picture of the red mesh to the left of the entrance? Could a human climb around and down it?

That's what I thought when I did this star. The mesh should allow you to climb down and fall less far.

The Toad in the foyer would fill you in. He'd maybe question why you of all people showed up to help, but he'd explain what's up.

Sorry to sound retarded, but what red mesh?

you need to be 18 years or older to post on this website

You can't get int Boo's Mansion without breaking some sort of star threshold, though. I think you have to get 12 stars first.

his whole fucking moveset

When this game came out I got almost every start except 1. No idea where it was so my cousin came and told me to give him the game for a day and he would get it for me. Next day he gives me the cartridge, I turned the game one and Mario had no fucking hat. I could not find it anywhere. I still cant. The game is right there and Mario is still hatless but I got all the stars.

Even if he is Bowser minion on paper, I don't think he's that loyal to him. I mean, hw cokes off as friendly and fair to Mario. I don't think he's interested in Bowser schemes so much as having a good race.

Find a way into the waterfall cave. Grab metal cap. Get 8 red coins.

either the monkey has it or the snowman blew it off your head

Take your own advice retard.

That Goomba looks 4 feet tall. Can you jump 4 feet high?

There's the chain chomp one you can do to get to Whomp's fortress and the slide. Also the 100 coins

There's a wire barrier to the right as you come in that forces you to take the pole down as Mario. As a normal human, I'd argue that you could just climb this barrier.

Sorry for MS Paint autism, but this is how I would get down without falling in HMC.

>demanding sentence-capitalization and a period for one-line posts
desperation

I checked on the snowman and the monkey. They do not have my hat. Where the fuck is my hat Cred Forums?

Ok, sorry for not understanding at first.
So you think you could jump all the way there, grab on, and climb down?
I'm ok with that, no more unrealistic or more realistic than the giant fall

The Snowman BLEW it off, which means it's somewhere in the level and you need to find it.

Can you tell me where to find a magic barrier shattering axe in SM64? I must have missed that on all of my playthroughs.

The bird in the desert can steal it too

Wait what!?

The red line ends on another platform which is not much lower than the higher red mesh. From there you have more options to get the ground.

Try the condor in Shifting Sand Land.

The bird can steal your hat
youtube.com/watch?v=MMiUESiDUuI

I think I put about 200 hours in Mario 64 and about 100 was just me jumping around, doing somersaults, climbing trees and sliding just because it felt so good.

How do i align my SocialPUs?

I think i get you
Climb the red fence, and grab the pole or jump to the platform I'm on, which also has stairs to reach ground level. Real good call, definitely would work.

Side note: Depending on how strong you think you have to be to break those brown/orange bricks, red star coin is possible too.
but they are practically bricks

The two stars in the Hazy Maze are out of the question as well, you could never jump high enough to reach the exits.

The blocks are made of cork. It would take some time, but you could easily scratch them apart with some hard object.

Yep, that's it. After that, there's a shorter drop through a hole on the way to the star, but it didn't look bad if you hung from the ledge first.

Dunno what you're talking about, the star in the lake is at the lowest point. It's all downhill. And you don't need to go back up, after you get the star you warp out, obviously.

There are a lot of walkways made of metallic mesh. Would we slip through them?

Could we maybe pick up the power caps with one hand and carry them around until we need them and then put them on? That way we might get some extra time out of them or even take them to other levels.

What do you mean exists? as in stars?

Also, one more pic. You need to ground pound on this cutie, how much pound is needed? and can you make the jump?

This whole star in general is "iffy", nothing outright impossible, but would be challenging for a regular person

depends how big your feet are. mario doesn't and they appear to be super rigid

Do we have prep time or are we just dropped in? It'd be easier if we are allowed to bring climbing equipment and weapons.

I skipped the dinosaur and just walked up the ledge. Didn't have to get 12 hours of speed either. If Mario can run up it, a person can at least crawl up it.

Just carrying around a big armful of invisible caps so you never die

Mario needs to side flip or double jump to reach the star exits in the Toxic maze (missions 4 and 5?) so no human should enter there. In HMC overall, I think only star 1 and the metal cap red coins are possible.

What if we're in the DS version? That one has more stars, right?

We should do this kind of thing for more games, it's been a fun thread.

...

By ledge I mean the slope up to the star.

could you?

Mario just jumped out of a pipe expecting there to be cake. git gud.

You start in the courtyard with the clothes on your back.

Maybe Mario's hat as well, since it's needed in order for the powerup caps to work.

You'd have to unlock the vanish cap first. That requires either draining the moat or breaking the grate.

Im gonna try that now

Also, another kinda scary jump for a regular human on the way to the dinosaur

In the DS version, King Bob-omb is defeated by throwing his bombs back at him, so that's definitely possible. That one star should open a lot more possibilities, so it should be doable for sure.

We could easily complete any that do not require Yoshi because SM64DS had the transformation caps.

>get all the way through
>die because you can't make the jump to the flag

Maybe not under the time limit because Mario runs crazy fast actually, but really the only jump posing a threat is the last one down from the giant stair blocks to the goal flag.

You might be able to fashion tools out of the environment. The trees in particular look skinny enough to break down.

forgot pic

presuming a 'block' is 3 feet, then yes. its probably smaller than that, closer to 2. jumping off the ramp at the end would be the only thing i'd hesitate at

Sunshine and Galaxy's controls are so fucking stiff compared to 64. It's like you're moving Mario with a d-pad instead of an analog stick.

If we're the same size as mario while keeping our human traits then I doubt we could even get over that third pipe

Is the Z axis in consideration? Scaling the pipes might be hard, but walking around them is easy. Same with the staircase at the end.

Is it just me or is Birdo T H I C C

The last drop shouldn't be bad if you hang off the ledge first, and then press against the wall for friction.

It's flooded on the inside too.

That third pipe is pretty tall. That's a toss up.

How tall am I? If I am 3 blocks tall then definitely, although the pipes near the start might be a little effort to get up on. And that seems a fair height if we are comparing to Super Mario and Mario is generally considered to be a manlet.

I love you fucking niggers.

You'd get third-degree burns just by being in one of the lava levels.

Bajo kazooie human edition next?

yes but Birdo's also a man

Unlocking Metal Cap opens up some possibilities though. If we get those two stars from the cave/cap areas, we can open the slide. So that's four stars. With metal cap the deep water stars in JRB might actually be doable, if we can carry the cap before using it. It would also allow someone to fire out of the cannon without being obliterated or killed on impact.

The first snow level and whomps fortress would also be unlocked, there could be some stars there.

I used to think that was how it worked. Tried it from my second floor window. Bloody fingers, and fractured shins.

so goomba is about half mario's height, but in mario 64 he's nearly the same height, making him probably 5ft minimum.

I don't understand what slope you're talking about. The one to get on the island for the star? I cant run up that or even jump up it, i need the dinosaur.
Also, I think i posted all the pictures needed. a lot of fairly long jumps, i guess an athletic person could do it, but i doubt my own personal skills for some of the jumps.

the dino seems like a bro so he probably will help you get on the island

So from game start
>Swim in river
>Open door, that should be openable because water pressure is on both sides
>Hazy is most likely level to beat
>No big drops thanks to climbing red fence thing
>Some possible far-distance jumps
>Either break orange bricks for red coins, or get the dinosaur to help you get a star

Since lots of people are talking about BBB's 100 coin star, I gave it a go. I got a total of 94 coins before being unable to find anymore.

If there was some way to get onto the floating island realistically, or if the Koopa spawned before King Bob-omb, it'd be achievable, however, because the King is so heavy, it's probably impossible.

Take into account a human's abilities, and they can enter through the door submerged underwater in the castle's moat, getting two stars - from a Toad and Mips. There, they can go back into the castle, get the Slide star (1 star required) plus a handful from CCM.

How would the route continue from there?

How would it feel to be hit by a goomba?

>not strong enough to lift or throw Big Bob-omn
>not enough stamina to keep up with Koopa the Quick
>wouln't survive being shot through the air to an island in the sky, and wouldn't even be an option without getting the first star
>couldn't collect the red coin on the island in the sky
>can't get the wing cap, can't get that star that requires it
>chain chomp would gore me if I even tried to hammer down his post, I wouldn't be nearly stong or fast enough to do it. So I couldn't get that red coin either
>can't get 100 coins, can't fly

I wouldn't be able to progress at all. How the fuck does Mario do it?

>fracturing your shins from a second-story window
I think you were just shit at falling. I used to climb onto the roof of my highschool (one tall story) between two pillars, then dismount the side exactly how I described. Of course it was brick so it's rougher than the Mario blocks may be.

The Toad and Mips both don't exist if you enter the door first thing. They only spawn later. But I think we've established you can get a star from HMC (and maybe SSL?) with some difficulty.

What were you even trying to accomplish?

tfw you can't get any stars so you just sex up toads and jack off to the paintings

they're just misunderstood. i'm sure you could be friends with one if you picked flowers for them and gave them coins

Shit, forgot how Muricans grade floors. I did it from what you'd call the third floor. Bear in mind that the further you're falling, the less you'd be able to slow yourself.

Ass Creed had just come out. I was, like, 16. I genuinely thought I could do it.

No it's not. You can get the power caps as hatless Mario.

>A doom where doomguy is yourself
jesus what a horror

climbing stuff, opening doors under water, slipping past gates/invisible walls

How far could you guys get in Ocarina of Time? I figure it might be easier than Mario since it's not as much of a platformer.

Ah, I see. Yeah slowing yourself won't make much difference with a 10 meter fall or so. If one block is 3 feet/1 meter, then the fall is 24 feet/8 meters. If you dangle off the ledge, more like 18 feet/6 meters. If the blocks are less than a meter, it becomes more doable. So yeah it's a toss-up.

I feel like if you weren't a fat fuck you could slide through the bars the chain chomp guards if you're fast enough. It's pretty much your only hope.

>falling down the spiderweb hole
It's over before it began

Save that for another thread. We ain't done discussing Mario.

i'd turn into a stalfos as i don't have a fairy.

if i had a fairy, i'd die when i tried to get to the bottom floor of the deku tree, presuming i'm not too heavy to climb the vines to get the slingshot

I can't play the flute, so I'm fucked.

Someone post the video in which King Bob-Omb unleashes his true form and goes seismic toss on Mario, vacuuming everything on the stage.

youtube.com/watch?v=3sq2-7Eccl4
Happens at 0:55.

what's this i hear about mouse injection?

You could break all the trees and construct some sort of bridge.

That does not accurately describe Galaxy at all. The controls are simplified due to the lack of a punching/diving move and the wall jump feels more automated, but it is definately not stiff.

Maybe you are thinking of 3D World?

No, I've never played 3D World.

Shifting Sand Land seems pretty manageable as long as you know how the Tox Boxes move. You could get the Condor star and the top of the pyramid relatively easily. Four pillars and red coins are out, and I can't recall too much of the inside of the pyramid to know if either of those stars are possible. 100 coins is a maybe as well, but you'd have to be able to get one of the interior stars to escape the level.

Then I honestly don't know at all where you are coming from calling ur mr gay's controls "stiff".

Slip and slide and control kinda weirdly

I haven't played through the original Spyro game, but if you're crafty you could catch those egg thieves at the very least.

You have to run up the column to reach the condor, and it's almost a 90 degree slope.

I could have sworn he does some low passes with the star.

but mario can't run up 90 degree slopes normally, the pillars must have some magic property that allows that. so i think a normal person might be able to do it

He's a turtle, man.

He'd just hide in his shell and let you punch away at it until you're bored.

>can't fly
Wait, that's it!
If we can get enough stars to activate the Wing Cap Course, we could achieve many more stars through flying and controlled landing, such as BBB 3, 4, 5, and 100 coins.
So we need 10 power stars to do it.

But on another note, I think there's something big we have yet to address. Can any of us really defeat Bowser? I don't think a human has the strength to lift and throw him like an Olympic hammer.

>So we need 10 power stars to do it
And we can't even get one.

Since we've ruled that Lethal Lava Land is beyond human endurance and that we can skip Bowser in the Dark World, Bowser in the Fire Sea is where any human's run realistically ends. The question then remains, how many stars can you get before then?

Just beat the shit out of him

I always thought that to be rebar

HMC
Rabbit in the basement should give one
JRB is possible in theory if you're brave enough to face off against that fucking eel
Slide
If DS version, King Bob-omb is beatable
You can maybe squeeze between the bars in the first world past the Chain Chomp
Anything else?

I don't like it.

We've decided we're allowed to carry a cap around before using it right? There's one metal cap in the first Bowser stage. Does netal cap increase strength? If so lure Bowser near a bomb, put the cap on, if it boosts strength it might just barely be enough.

I mean, it makes normal enemies die on contact and makes you invincible, but I don't know if that's indicative of a strength increase.

Koopa the Quick is another one
Desert level for pyramid and bird

I think there's a teleport on the other end

I thought we ruled out that HMC is undoable by any human. If the Metal Cap were to be acquired you could argue you MIGHT be impervious to falling damage, but you have to go through HMC to get to the Metal Cap. The initial gaps at the beginning of the level are just too great.

If you fall off the slide or another stage where you don't lose a life, is that considered death for a human run?

Can't you just pick the locks on the doors?

>Rabbit in the basement should give one
I feel like a human can hunt it down with good old human scariness: walking after it until it dies of exhaustion.

>You can maybe squeeze between the bars in the first world past the Chain Chomp
Couldn't the chomp rach you before you get through?

>If DS version, King Bob-omb is beatable
What about Bob-Omb there?

But yeah, Koopa the Quick. I'm not sold on the Pyramid ones, because I think you have to jump over some stuff in there, right?

>you are reaching your final moment in life, slowly writhing away, vision becoming more and more blurry
>this is it, I am about to die
>the second you do you suddenly wake up and fall out of a painting like nothing ever happened

It teleports you back to certain areas without a death, so no. However are we factoring in IRL fall damage? No way could you land back into the f1 hall after such a drop.

Magic likely seals the doors.

They are sealed by magic unless you mean the big doors.

We could move around a lot more stuff than Mario. HMC could yield some hard to reach stars if we pick up and use those cork boxes.

Penguin rescue and snowmans head

Rabbit doesn't show up until you have enough stars, it's not just entering the area that triggers him.

So far we have:
HMC red coins
HMC Dorrie ride
Metal cap star
Secret Slide star
Second secret slide star

Some stars in snowman's land might be possible if we have enough stars to enter. Same for whomps fortress, desert stage and MAYBE JRB if we use the metal cap.

He's saying oxygen isn't simulated.

I thought we argued we could climb down. The other user made it with an a tap over the first gap.

Chomp pauses after leaping, so a really quick human could maybe do it.
DS King tosses bombs you have to grab and throw back, making the level doable.

Secret slide star is doable with controlled sliding, but the 21 second star is a hefty risk if we're factoring in fall damage as describes.

Well then the weight wouldn't be an issue, now would it?

Bringing that lost penguin back to its mother

Could this game be beaten by any of you?

>go to BoB
>harvest wood from trees
>get a bob-omb to explode, then collect the shrapnel
>beat a goomba to death with a stick
>cut open goomba carcass with a piece of shrapnel
>harvest small intestine
>tie the largest shrapnel piece to the stick with the intestines
>now have a club/axe/spear depending on how you point the shrapnel
>can also probably fashion a loincloth and moccasins from the goombas skin
>kill the koopa in the corner, even if he hides in his shell you can reach in with your bludgeon
>use shell as body armor
Maybe we can use the goombas teeth for something too.
Do you think we could also get fire from the bobombs somehow?

You don't have to use the jump shortcut to get the 21 second star, I've done it with only sliding before. It takes a few tries but it's doable, and something a normal person should be able to pull off.

The ice slide would be fucking terrifying in real life though. But it might be doable.

Shouldn't there be a bunch in the Haunted Mansion that would be doable?

The pink ones only show up after you beat the king.

So you'd have to fuck the chain chomp

MAMA MIA

>Wait for bobomb to aggro
>Cut it's stupid wick off

Easy fire

>Fucking one of the Bob-ombs
>Dick accidentally goes in the wrong direction
>Sets off the fuse
How fucked are you

depends if you can kill Boos or not

I don't think a human has the same slide control as Mario. The secret slide should only be done slowly and meticulously.

Enemies become coins when defeated.

Could make use of a branch and the torches in the castle though. Best bet for a weapon is probably to uproot a stake from one of the fences and just stab or swing with it.

What kind of surface is the slide? It's always looked carpeted to me. I don't think there's anyway you could slide down as fast as mario, and even if it were some super slick surface, you'd probably slide right of the edge and die.

I mean, they clearly state in the game that they cannot be killed. But you can "defeat" them with a well placed stomp or punch

I think between these, amassing 10 stars is possible. That allows us to get the Wing Cap and get more stars.

Actually, can we even trigger the cap? Mario needs to either triple jump or get shot from a cannon to do it, and the latter would kill us.

Well, the triple jump isn't jumping twice in the air, it's a series of perfectly timed jumps, so a human could probably do it.

The cap can also be used to negate falling damage. If the wing cap is accessible we might be able to get to the floating island in Bobomb Battlefield from the top of the mountain

I think, funnily enough, it would probably be easier for me to beat Dark Souls than Super Mario 64, because eventually I would just lose my fear of death after dying so many times, and I would not really hollow because I will always have a fixed and achievable goal ahead of me, killing Gwyn.

Not as much as the Bob-Omb, I could just bull out and run away.

Guess I'll have to harvest his insides before I kill him.
That also brings up the question; what about enemies that you technically cant kill? For example the eel and the clams in JRB. I was thinking maybe you could use the clamshells to make a shield.

Could you learn to fly quickly enough? You'd need to collect the red coin star to escape the wing cap stage safely.

When again does the light in the forier go on so that Mario can look up and activate the red switch?

She'll wanna continue so she'll start running towards you tho

So if Mario 64 Mario was real, how'd he adapt to the real world? What benefits would his abilities bring him?

I believe it's 10 but it has been a while

Are we SURE the cannon would kill us? People have been shot out of cannons, it's just that you need the exact right mix of explosives for their legs to not be blown off. If the cannons in Mario 64 use the same powder mix as circus cannons then getting fired isn't what would kill us, just the landing.

I just go up some stairs.

>release all that speed right as you leave the mortal coil
>you rocket past infinity and slam into God himself at a trillion miles an hour.

You just need to hit the switch

I looked into it, circus cannons use compressed air. Gunpowder would surely harm if not kill a human.

Don't they vanish if you don't put them on within a few seconds? Maybe you could pull the ! block out of the air without breaking it, but you can't carry around the cap. And you wouldn't be able to even get far enough to get the wing cap switch anyway.
And how would you survive leaving the wing cap switch area, anyway?

This is a good thread. Night time Cred Forums proves to be fun yet again.

Now you're stuck on the tower.

what if you kill god?

I don't think the cannons use gunpowder in M64. The Bob-bombs are firing water bombs out of them, presumably because it diffuses the gunpowder in other bob-ombs. They would have to use compressed air too.

Couldnt you just grab Lakitus camera and have him float you to anywhere?

Wouldn't getting the star on the pyramid be pretty easy to do? You'd just need to find a way to scale up it

OH DAMN
THREAD OVER BOYS

Hitting the switch doesn't end the level.

Wow. Good point.

>Don't they vanish if you don't put them on within a few seconds?
They vanish on the ground, or after being active for some time. We don't have enough data to know if we can carry them around. In some glitches Mario can carry caps around forever, but we do not know for sure.

>Maybe you could pull the ! block out of the air without breaking it
Rather unlikely with sheer muscle strength. Mario undoubtely is stronger than the average human and he cannot move the blocks.

>And how would you survive leaving the wing cap switch area, anyway?
Fly down with the wing cap.

iirc it's not a death when you fall in that stage, it just teleports you somewhere back at the castle.

>Couldnt you just grab Lakitus camera
But he's always behind you no matter what.

you can lock the camera in place by holding down R

Unless you get warped out by getting the star you'd have to fall, which deposits you into some water outside the castle, but the fall would be fatal.

And yeah, caps disappear. But I don't know if only putting them on is what keeps them around. If we can do human shit like open doors underwater then carrying a hat should be allowed, it's just whether or not it still disappears while being held.

Lakitu isn't going to help you cheat in a documentary.

Lakitu isn't going to waste airtime on you.

i think because your life is in danger, he'd help you out. he'd have to be a fucking psychopath to just sit and watch you boil in lava or get eaten by chainchomps

He can't move them without destroying them, you mean. He's too rough with them.

>fly down with the wing cap
And crash into the floor or a wall, killing yourself. I guess 1-up mushroons should work on regular people, though.

>Couldnt you just grab Lakitus camera
Lakitu could literally float away.
What are you going to do, use your amazing ordinary human powers to fly up to him?

>implying he doesn't do that every time you die in SM64

You mean like he does to Mario?

Falling in Wing Cap Course takes you to the Castle Foyer. You'd land on the floor, so it just depends if your fall speed carries over or not.
For what it's worth, Mario doesn't take fall damage so who's to say a human couldn't survive a safe teleport?

Bowser's biggest strength is his durability. Fucker can fall into a goddamn empty sky, where there is no solid ground in sight, and come jumping straight back up again. A human's biggest strength is endurance, combined with being inventive. Unless you could somehow jury rig one of those bombs to detonate, then lure Bowser close enough, you'd just be looking at hours of walking/jogging away from him, while he NEVER stops walking towards you, and eventually you'd collapse from exhaustion and get fucking killed.

He's never helped Mario.

Yeah, that should be doable. You can even get there without really any danger, you just have to be patient.

>but the fall would be fatal.
Not necessarily. People have jumped into water from 60 meters and survived. And maybe we can use the cap to just fly down as that other user said.

>it's just whether or not it still disappears while being held.
They don't disappear when being held. I'm glad that this thread did not sink into too much pannenkoek posting, but everyone who watches his videos should know this.

Lakitu literally watches you drown.

>use this
>kill lakitu with the shrapnel weapon
>take his cloud and fishing pole
>now have a way to get food in the lake outside the castle
>can also fly anywhere
>if you want a shortcut, you can break the castle windows in the tower above the peach mural
Unrelated but how do you think it feels to fuck a cloud?

What happens when time is up?

I mean, he doesn't help Mario.

You'd probably get to do it once, and after that he'd keep his distance since he's know you'll grab him. I'm assuming after getting a star and warping you wouldn't be on his cloud any more.

Still, this should allow for at least 1 star if the player manages to grab him.

>himself

What makes this official?

>>>now have a way to get food in the lake outside the castle
This is actually a good point. We're gonna be there for a while, we need food.
>Unrelated but how do you think it feels to fuck a cloud?
Wet.

It seems like Mario is falling from the light in the foyer rather slowly, I'd say a human would easily survive it since it's not terminal velocity, it is a teleport.

>he'd have to be a fucking psychopath to just sit and watch you boil in lava or get eaten by chainchomps

>This is actually a good point. We're gonna be there for a while, we need food.
Coins heal mario, I'm sure they'd heal our "hunger" damage.

Have you seen the drowning animation in 64? Lakitu is just floating there and calmly recording it so he can upload it to a rekt thread on shroomchan.

But his fire spawns coins, which have healing properties. You'd never get too tired, physically. Oh, I guess maybe you could collect a coin, lure Bowser near a mine, then throw the coin at it.

Good luck beating Bowser in the Dark World though. It would certainly be doable, but very hard.

>Coins heal mario
He stills dreams about pasta and his reward is food.

?

The 8 red coins in LLL

Just avoid touching the lava and it should be fairly easy to do

Clouds do not survive if their Lakitu dies in Mario 64. In every other game they disappear in like a minute so even if you just incapacitate him it won't last you forever.

Coins wouldn't heal a human. I'd even argue 100 coin stars are out of the question because you couldn't carry them all.

Do you think you could climb up the castle bricks and break into the 2nd and 3rd floors? Or maybe even get yoshi, if he wont let us ride him we can at least kill him and use his tongue as a rope or use his shell as a helmet.

>shroomchan
>not 4chomp
c'mon

You wouldn't last a minute in LLL.

Do you have any idea how hot lava is? That entire stage would boil you in your own juices the second you dropped in.

>take his cloud and fishing pole
You do know clouds without a Lakitu are temporary, right? And in Super Mario 64, they don't even leave behind their clouds when killed.

Let's think reverse,
what stars could we actually get?
100s doesnt coin, you autist pussies would'nt be able to land a punch and kill anythung in here.

The shutters are closed on the windows, and Yoshi doesn't spawn until you have all the stars.

See and

Mario is still human. Coins and 1-up mushroons should work on you as they do him. I doubt your hypothetical power meter would be as big though.

>Or maybe even get yoshi
Yoshi isn't even there until you have ALL the stars.

>break into
>implying some shutters will stop me
Lets assume I get into the upper floors this way, what stars would I get there?

>Just avoid touching the lava
You have no idea how lava actually works.
You'd be dead the instant you went into the painting.

>what stars could we actually get?
That's the topic of this thread, you illiterate, third-world retard.

>break into
With what, exactly? Also, when you're inside the castle, no upper area has windows. So it's unclear if those widows even lead to the portion of the castle with the paintings.

>Let's think reverse,
so what stars wouldn't you be able to get?
did you even read the op?

Well, it depends on what kind of lava it is. If it's pahoehoe or somehing similar you may be able to survive for a while without falling in. It also depends on the air flow of lethal lava land.

Would getting the star in the ice block in Snowmans Land be possible?

Maybe they lead to a kitchen or supply room, which would both be useful.

My hands, bitchboy

You'd have to get to that world first. The entire third floor of the castle might be inaccessible because of the second bowser level.

Are there any windows in the upper level museum? I don't remember any. Which means there's probably no way in directly from the outside. Those windows and shutters would just lead to parts of the castle we never see in Mario 64, that are unconnected from what you see in the game.

You guys can't even beat that Koopa in a footrace?
He's a turtle and moves slow as hell

Are we even assuming we have to follow the rules of the game? In that case why are people considering HMC?

the lava is boiling
a large amount of the platforms are magma
there is an active volcano in the center
you are dead no matter what
koopa the quick doesn't show up until king bob-omb is gone

That animation always scared me as a kid. Why does he realistically slump over?

He only shows up once the King isn't on the summit.

There are a couple in there that are doable without going into the mustard gas

He's quick, and you wouldn't have the stamina to keep up.

Don't you need to beat Bowser once before you even unlock HMC?

Super user 64 Official Run:
>Open the moat door
HMC 1 using this method Metal Cap Red Coins using the same method
>Get Metal Cap
SSL 1, 2
The metal cap makes it easy to get JRB 3 and 6
You can even use it to negate impact damage as you attempt JRB 5
Secret Slide 1 and 2
SML 2
Wing Cap Red Coins
>Get Wing Cap
BBB 3,4,5, SSL 5 with wing cap
>Big Boo's Haunt Unlocks
BBH 1, 2, 3
MIPS 1
Toad 1
That's 20 stars. Anything involving the Wing Cap is pretty risky, but if you can safely fall and try again in the Wing Cap Course, there's no harm in practicing there.

He runs at a consistent speed and I doubt you could run up a mountain right now.

Goombas can survive, and fungus is very vulnerable to heat. It must not be as hit as it looks.

The first bowser level is a LOT more doable than the second considering lava n' shit

We've established that you can open the moat door to skip Bowser in the Dark World.

How would you even beat the boo that contains Big Boo's Haunt?

Can held caps be taken in and out of levels?

With the bonus of normal human powers it would be possible to hold multiple caps at once. If they can be taken in and out of levels it would be possible to carry around a stock of hats, which would make things immensely more doable. With enough metal caps and maybe vanish caps it could be possible to actually get through the second bowser world before burning to death. Assuming a normal person could get through the level itself, that is.

Vanish caps protect you from fireballs shot by the black orbs so theoretically they would make you heat resistant.

>Get Metal Cap
wouldn't putting it on kill you

There are no goombas in Lethal Lava Land, only Bullies.
Close eyes, start swinging.

The Boos explain they can't be killed in the level but you can punch them out.

>people bringing up the Metal Cap
>implying you would be able to move

It would be good practice though. You'll need to beat Bowser in the Sea of Flames, where he can fucking sprint at you and he *teleports behind you*

Yuck, it's both gloves even. Maybe they though it'd be okay because it'd look like seems in the fabric.

It doesn't.