If you were transported into the world of Mario 64, with only the clothes on your back and no special abilities...

Can I abuse the physics and travel to PU's?

>forgot to wear a hat
RIP in piece.

Using my knowledge of QPU´s, And Defacto speed, i would wreck this game without even using a single a press

Fuck that. Imagine every Cred Forums user being transported into the castle.

BUT FIRST

>If you were transported
>you
>no special abilities
Mario can jump QPUs. You, however, cannot.

I'm wearing my batman pajamas with a rock band shirt and no shoes, with a burrito on one hand. I think I would shove this burrito into a pink bomb's asshole and shoot my canon into her

>using a single a press
>using a whole A press

what a fucking casual
I could beat this in half A press

>5 seconds in and the toads are getting raped and people are building up speed

you have to get a certain number of stars before that happens you dingus

None because we need to face King Bob-omb and he's one heavy motherfucker.

I'd probably get thrown off the mountain to my death if I even made it up there.

user manages to get all 120 stars forgets he's been shitting there the whole time ends up jumping in and shooting shit allover the castle

We discussed this.

The only door open is Bob-Omb Battlefield.
The only available star is beating King Bob-omb, which requires lifting him, and we're assuming too weak to do that.
You cannot gather 100 coins in the stage in the first star due to lack of cannons,
You can theoretically go in the river around the castle, and open that door to get to Hazy Maze which has possible accessible stars, but requires some athleticism for long jumps and climbing a red fence.

Well, if I were to jump into a painting, would I be able to exit without collecting a star?

Fuck man I'd hate to have to go to Jolly Roger Bay.

how would you even deal with death, Would the game give you 3 lives? Maybe people would farm an easy star and collect all the coins to keep increasing their lives untill they felt bold enough to try the tougher stars. Multiplayer?

How do you open the underwater door with 0 stars?

>Hey guys what did Bowser mean by this?
>Ruggarell rapes Peach in front of Mario as a jew yells BLACKED!
>A shy trap gets raped by 15 horny neckbeards before falling off Whomp's Fortress

>The only available star is beating King Bob-omb, which requires lifting him, and we're assuming too weak to do that

Who says you have to lift and throw him? Mario beats him by throwing him to the ground, so couldn't you potentially drop kick him and knock him over? Or hell, what if some user has a lighter and lights his fuse?

...

How tall is Mario

Enough to get some cake, for sure
Good thing I've been lifting, I can throw that oversized turtle

If a fish can do it so can I.

5'1

Stars aren't needed to open that door. Mario couldn't open it because the game didn't allow it, opening doors underwater seems pretty off the chain though.

Shit, we'd have to train somebody to hold their breath for a really long time in the castle moat. We'd only know if he succeded or failed if the second bowser room opened. and we'd still have to pass THAT one untill we got out getting the last bowser

Human logic.
Mario can't do it for some dumb fucking reason, but that door does not require any stars to open. Mario just can't access the "open door" animation cause it's underwater.

This was the closest to getting a star we got earlier. It's an insane stretch.

Get 70 stars as fast as possible for cake after you beat bowz.

Was the Castle's secret slide blocked by a star door? I'd like to imagine most (if not all) of us would be able to get that one.

Could you really though? I mean, you still have to get past those rolling balls of death.

like...one, if I cheesed it?

>break branch off of a tree
>go to BBB and trigger one of the bob-ombs, put your branch against its wick to get fire
>carry torch up to king bobomb
>light his ass up and he explodes
first star complete

can you drop kick an atomic bomb in real life without hurting yourself?

No such thing exists

Alright, now we need to tackle whomps castle

>Anons start fighting over who rapes peach first

Let's assume the game restrictions still work, I mean we can't just ignore the invisible boundries the game has or else we'd be stepping into speculation Is this a universe that BEHAVES like SM64 or are we trapped in the GAME a la hunter x hunter ?

>no railing sections
Fuuuuuuck that

Drop kicking would fucking hurt, mostly because the fall. If you're kicking something over that's already barely balanced, it's more the pushing motion that would do it.

Give this user a literal star

DOES HE LOOP EVERY 4 SECONDS OR FIVE?
OK, EVERY FOUR.
ALRIGHT ON THIS NEXT ONE, I GO.
ACTUALLY, HE JUST WENT. I'LL WAIT FOR ONE MORE SO I CAN HAVE THE MAXIMUM POSSIBLE AMOUNT OF TIME. RIGHT WHEN HE FINISHES...
WAIT! WHAT IF HE SPEEDS UP? AS I GET CLOSER BECAUSE THE DIFFERENCE IN OUR DISTANCE HAS CHANGED AND HE DOESN'T HAVE TO STRETCH AS FAR?

0 Opie.

No human can beat Bob-Omb King. You have to pick him up, and I'm sure he's heavy as fuck.

Easy, the long route is easy enough, we just need to avoid the thwomp. Let's assume the game spawns each user with 3 lives. We'd get some sick stories with an user who knows what it feels like to get squished to death.

Can we grab super mushrooms for extra strength and size?

>implying I wouldn't escape after building up speed for 12 days

King Bob-omb would scream "YOU MUST FIGHT WITH HONOR" and absolutely nothing would be accomplished.

Does he reach all the way to fence?

>Thinking any user could rape Peach
you guys couldn't rape a paid prostitute who's willing to go

figure out how to travel 20 QPU's away and die alone in the digital darkness

Just use your shoes to slow yourself down. The slope isn't too steep

see
Potential solution right there

shit down the chimney in the penguin level

You might be able to free chain chomp depending on how he's attached to the pole (which is like 10 feet tall)

>couldn't rape a paid prostitute who's willing to go
But this one isn't paid checkmate

That's not even in Super Mario 64 so no. Extra lives via green mushrooms however

King Bob-omb must be fought with honor.
He bitches if you don't fight with honor

I don't think anyone is fat enough to do a successful ground pound to lower the pole and free Chomp

>break branch off a tree

The game doesn't have that programmed, try again.

I think that's the biggest question here. If we're actually transported into the game, we're royally fucked. We have to adhere to all of the rules that are meant for Mario, even though we lack the physical ability. It's theoretically possible if we were transported to a universe that's an exact copy of SM64, except we are able to do things that are normally impossible (eg. light fires, push things down, etc.)

King Bob Omb doesn't even have a fuse.

But we aren't Mario
So we don't play fair
Seriously f you don't give anything to work with, then whats the point of these threads.

No.

Can't use a lighter, since we only have the clothes on our back.The thing is though, could you really knock him over? If you could you just roll him off the mountain or whatever but he seems really heavy and hard to move.

What if his mustache is his fuse.

I'm sure at least ONE user knows Judo. Someone would be able to take him to the ground, even if it's just tripping him.

Also, he can't bitch if he blows up.

We'd have to get an user to run around chomp in circles while the other guy tries to ground pound, fuck that would hurt.

>We aren't mario
Irrelevant. King Bob-omb fights with honor.
King Bob-omb is the one who bitches if you don't fight with honor, not Mario.

And I already stated how you can get a star by opening the river door

Yeah but is the only way to free him pounding the pole in? That doesn't really make sense
Could we dislodge the pole by throwing bombs

It's more like, how do you beat the boss? Can we ground pound hard enough? I guess we can just stomp on him?

Is there multiplayer? Several user's could all lift king bob-bomb at the same time.

No fucking idea, user. It's not even a question if we were transported into the game and had to play exactly by the rules, it would be literally impossible.

Besides, half of the fun of this thread is figuring out ways that normal people could get the stars.

Race with Koopa the Quick
By the way, Im naked right now so I need to work around that. I run cross country so I could probably beat Koopa the quick but I need shoes and if I can do it, a loincloth to keep my magnus dongus from flopping around everywhere.
>get a stick
>get a bob omb to explode, collect the shrapnel leftover
>fashion shrapnel and branch into a knife/bludgeon/hatchet/spear/whatever the fuck I need I guess
>kill one of those faggot goombas
>cut his feet off and gouge them out with shrapnel tool to make my moccasins
>carve his skin off and make it into a loincloth
>maybe save teeth for something later
>also intestines can be used for ropes maybe, but Im not sure what happens to intestines when they dry up
And like I said, I run cross country so Im confident I could beat Koopa the Quick.

Well, what if he's paper light? The game only uses a 2d texture for king bomb-omb. Those little fuckers would be heavy as shit though.

What if he's not even a bomb but a sentient Cannonball.

When you pick up a bob-omb, they get scared and sudoku.
You can't grab one and do that cause they're too far away

>Could we dislodge the pole by throwing bombs
No, pretty sure you can try that and nothing would happen in game.

I don't think Mario's ground pounds are all that strong though. I'm pretty sure with something durable enough, we can pound it into the ground.

Wait, can't you get:
8 red coins without killing king bomb?
Also the star in the box on the floating island?

The game reacts to a ground pound of any height, so we'd have to train at least one user to do it consistently and then have everyone else work on triggering the guy. I'd assume if one user dies then the whole team has to restart given how the game code reacts to player death.

By that logic, the canon balls rolling down the hill won't hurt you.

What if we went by SM64DS rules? Assuming you're an user with no 'Stache, he'd just chuck regular Bob-ombs that you could lure back towards him.

You can beat flesh and stuff enough to break up all the sinew and let it dry, becomes a nice leather rope when enough is weaved together.

Goomba's dissipate to spores upon death.

Given some anons' weight it wouldn't be a problem, the bigger one would be getting onto the damn thing
Regular SM64 King Whomp reaches chest height, but remastered SMG2's King is twice mario's height in thickness

Or just burn the pole down

I don't think anyone here can survive a canon shot

You might have better luck jumping up and stomping down really hard, unless shit in the Mario world REQUIRES high velocity ass contact to smash.

If King Bob-omb is so honorable, then we could just try reasoning with him instead. A test of strength would be out of the question since he'd most likely kill all of us, so why can't we do a test of knowledge or wits or something.

Fuck it I'm sure he'd appreciate a good riddle.

>Also the star in the box on the floating island?
Yes, because you have the durability to with stand getting launched out of a fucking cannon.

Zero I doubt anyone here is strong enough to lift or take down King BB.

Getting the red coins in Bob-omb battlefield is doable

What's the deal with the star anyway? Does he keep it somewhere and it just materializes upon his death or is it literally inside him?

How many A presses am I allowed?

You don't have to canon it, you can jump to it.

I like the way this user thinks.

Do you write for Jojo?!

You can just jump to it, dude. You can drop down from above.

Well after you beat him, he does say he's giving it to you. So I figure we could get him to give it to us some other way.

>Every single people that used Cred Forums appears in one place
>The castle gets filled to the brim with everyone in the lobby
>Can barely move
>The first thing you hear is but first

I'd say the cannon if special and works with compressed air and has the ability to launch you safely, I mean I'd guess it will only launch you as quickly as your able without hurting yourself, Landing however seems to be a problem

Wait, do we have real-world physics or mario physics?
Everyone is assuming real world but that makes no sense. Do enemies obey real world physics too?

I'm starting to notice a pattern

We'll have to use Jolly Roger Bay as a type of jail

No. you can get 7 red coins.
one of the red coins requires a canon (or a flying cap, either way, not accessible via the first star)

I tried this this morning, bob-omb battlefield is a lost cause. unless we wanna change rules of the scenario (all doors open)

I don't remember being able to just jump to it.

We also don't have Mario's durability, so if that fall inflicts damage on Mario, we're probably going to be dealing with some broken bones or death.

Problem is that the easiest way to get to the island is aiming for the tree or for the edge of the island so you can grab it, and i don't think anyone here is going to risk going head first into a tree or missing the fucking edge.

>Everyone from Cred Forums is simultaneously transported to the castle
>Through sheer numbers and willpower, we collect 70 stars for the chance to rape delicious polygons
>About 95% of us die on the process
>Absolutely worth it

nope people would eventually drown and trigger everyone getting launched out of the stage at once, user who died would have just used up one of his 3 lives.

No one can decide and that's what makes this thread shit

does a 9mm count as a special ability?

Neither scenario makes any sense.
Pack it in, folks.

It's the Mario world with your own physical ability.

The canon isn't even accessible when selecting the first star

Wait what? which coin requires the cannon?

You can jump to it from the top of the mountain, assuming a human can jump as far as Mario and even then Mario takes damage. Getting off the island also seems like death though.

Not true. You can get the Chain Chomp one first. I know that because it’s a tradition of mine to do so every time I play through the game.

King bomb-omb could be paper light, given he's only a 2d sprite
I still think people would spawn with 3 lives and those who are on their last one would just hang around the castle moat catching fish for the rest of us.

What if this runs on "Prinny: Can I really be the hero" rules? If you die you're fucked, but we have 1000 expendable anons. As long as one of us makes it, we all do. If we all fail, we're fucked.

The Chain chomp one is virtually impossible, can you pound wood down to the ground by yourself?

>BBB grabs me and throws me off the hill
RIP

I played this map. It's well-textured, but disappointing small.
Both as a mario 64 map and a KF2 map

You misunderstood me. You don't need to do King Bob-omb first.
But when you select the first star, some stuff don't appear in the map.
Cannons cannot be used, and Koopa the Quick isn't there

Someone will have to distract Chain Chomp and then send a Lanklet to squeeze through the bars.

You are yourself obeying real world physics, but the mario world is exactly the same. So if you can't run indefinitely, or jump three meters in the air, or survive being shot out of a cannon

We would need Pankokek to guide us all.

He is our true savior.

>high velocity ass contact
thanks for the laugh.

but the cannon obeys mario physics

If we're following Mario physics, then we can take damage and heal, right? If we're getting extra lives then it seems reasonable to assume that.

So we'll say that we can be shot out of the Canon safely, but landing would an entirely different matter.

No one cares you faggot anime poster its fun fuck off to your shilling threads/ lewd posting threads.

Who wants to volunteer to be the human sacrifice we'll need to make to get the Chip off the Wall star in whomp's fortress?

>fashion primitive axe from bob-omb shrapnel and branches from one of the trees
>chop down a tree
>dislodge a bowling ball from the track (near the top)
>carry trunk and push ball to top of the mountain
>challenge king bob-omb, push him off cliff using bowling ball as fulcrum and trunk as lever
from there I would probably do peach's slide for the easy 2 stars and infinite one-ups

We're not following mario physics, our version of "taking damage" is breaking our legs from a five meter drop

The bars behind Chomp aren't even that close, we can squeeze our hand and grab the star, but we need to be fast otherwise RIP

Then if we're obeying real world physics, what would happen if we do something that normally isn't allowed in the game? Like, would we be able to push enemies around?

Cool Cool Mountain has a lot of easy starts but it presents a whole new problem: weather. We cant survive in that cold. We need to kill a shitload of goombas to make leather clothing.
Im just spitballing here but I was thinking if we could kill the clams in JRB we can use the shell as a sled/shield combo. Useful for combat and the sliding levels.
Also keep in mind that we can put things in the cannon. Maybe if we angel it right we can kill King Bob Bomb from spawn by shooting a rock at his faggot mustache.

>peach's slide
GOOD FUCKING LUCK NOT DYING

I'm gonna assume yes. While we would break shit loads of bones from huge drops, I think Goombas trying to tackle us wouldnt hurt in the slightlest.

>peach's slide

Nah, you're dead. If you don't fall off, you have to make a pretty serious (by normal standards) drop.

Even if you manage this he'll jump right back up to the top and throw you off the edge

Then if we die, it's permanent?

>Pannenkoek releases the true power of the A press

It's not that steep of a slide, you could probably walk down it. And even if you couldn't, you could lay down really flat and keep some sort of grip with your hands and shoes

Here's the real question.

What would you do to peach when you save her?

What if we change the rules slightly? Like instead of one user, we get a team of 2 or 4, so we can cooperate. Otherwise some things are just impossible like getting where Mario can with a triple jump

Fuck it, let's just push that pink bob-omb into the cannon and use that.

Ask her how the fuck I get out of this god forsaken universe

as far as i could with out having to do that underwater level

I'm gonna say yes, but you also don't have to go at it alone, since the consensus is Cred Forums as a whole has been transported. Or at least this thread.

Ask where her kitchen is

How the hell would you get out of JRB if you go inside it? This is assuming that we follow our world's physics, which means no exiting courses or having extra lives.

BEHOLD THE POWER THE A PRESS HOLDS
youtube.com/watch?v=0NA_Nq7oZZU

How much of the game rules apply to us? If it's full real world then we don't get extra lives, just one. Of we do get extra lives one would assume all the game rules apply to us then like knock back damage, fall damage, being able to run indefinitely, perhaps even being able to pause and frame buffer

>when you save her

Fucker no one's getting that far alone. Either we're working together, or we'd die early solo.

It would make some things easier, like being able to finally carry and throw King Bomb-omb.
However, most of the stars we can't do as humans probably wouldn't be any easier with a few more of them.

Heres the real real question:
How do you vent your sexual frustration while trapped in Mario 64? Its going t be a while before you see peach so what will you fuck?

We need a fast one to distract him, as long as he's running, he should have a good chance of surviving while we get the star

Sadly yes. Some poor bastard went into Lethal Lava Land despite everyone telling him not to. We haven't seen him since.

Getting a star force exits all the anons currently in that stage.

I still say that cap upgrades should still be a thing, they're not inherently Mario's abilities.

>Pannenkoek is hailed as the Jesus of the castle
>He guides us to safety and to a 100% completion so we can escape
>All who join him must forgo the temptatio of the A

RIP

>Mfw when I would have to share her all with you fat autistic neckbeards

God fuck no .

That user is referring to the "blast yourself at the wall" star.

Just fap dude.

Anything that moves. No mercy.

I'd say you follow your laws of physics and the game code follows it's own, Floating islands and platforms exists but you can only jump as far and as high as you can in real life, I assume the game considers you a "player" and has the ability to respawn you and keep track of your 3 lives (more if you collect a mushroom or finish a stage (blue star or otherwise) with above 50 coins collected
If you happen to have it on your person holstered (clothes on your back) I'd say you could potentially have a projectile, Probrably would only work on other anons, Projectiles pass through enemies and objects (not walls though)
The game allows mario to make a succeful ground pound at any height however small, We'd just need an user to make a front flip and land on his ass and it would count in-game.
The game would not allow the destruction of trees or changing of bowling ball paths, I think we'd have to obey the rules of the game whilst limiting ourselves by our own physicality

>what would I eat
kill animals and cook them old style

The other anons of course, do you have any idea how many gay boys there are here?

get off vent or ill have you bent

fap to the stained glass of her.
or rape the toad in the lobby

>Hot_Goomba_Sex.swf

Fuck, sorry.
Just forget that one

Yeah, like most of us vent our sexual frustration in a way other than masturbation...

Oh god, statistically there have to be SOME girls that use Cred Forums. The things some of you guys would do if there were zero consequences, when you're all grouped up...

Fuck. That'd be brutal.

could we survive the gas room if our heads poked above the gases?

Not enough exposition for Chain Chomp's special abilities.

Would we still be us if we died and used up an 1-up though?

I could probably get the star from behind the chain chomp. But I would be too much of a pussy to even attempt it

So in reality I'd just stay in the castle lobby masturbating and crying

Last thread an user mentioned fucking the pink Bob-ombs. Some especially ballsy Cred Forumsirgins would try and get the stars in BBB while everyone else is fucking these and everything else

No, essentially it'd be a clone of you with your exact memories.

She doesn't have any orifices, and I'm sure if they were about to be raped by a pack of disgusting virgins they would just detonate. What a gruesome image.

What would you do here, user?

I assume that it's just Mario 64's world, but with real world physics.
So things like restoring health with coins, picking up giant creatures, surviving falling from giant heights, and being shot out of cannons, are simply impossible.
However, there are somethings we could do that Mario probably couldn't. We can climb walls and mesh walls. Also, I assume having a pic related run into us at a slow speed wouldn't hurt an average human like it would Mario.

Yeah and which star are you going to get? Think you could hold your breath that long? Keep in mind you and I can't swim as fast as Mario, and we're susceptible to pressure.

How would caps work?
When we turn metal do we actually move around? Or are we just momentarily turned into statues?
Jesus flying would be terrifying at first

>Pannenkoek is hailed as our hero
>he immediately dies trying to do some bullshit qpu parallel universe bullshit
>we lost the one guy who knows the game down to the fucking code
>and we haven't even gotten one star

Game respawns you so you could try again.
The game gives the Player 3 lives to start with when starting a new file, I assume we can increase that by collecting the green mushrooms and stuff, So we die easy but the game world respawns dead people untill out of lives.

If you take the risk with the cannon you could get the star on the ledge.

are you some kinda rapist?

Realistically, not go in.
Realistically further, die to the fish.

couldn't even get out of the first pipe

>Giant cheep cheep
I'll pass this world and let other anons die to get stars

>There are people in this thread who will willingly go to the huge island just to satisfy their vore fetish for once

But if it's a clone of you, that means the original self is dead. And i'm sure i'm not going to try it out.

So, h'es basically

The Guy?

>peach's slide
>go all the way down on your front
>by the time you reach the bottom, your penis has been grazed clean off, and your entire body is red raw

Can we address the very serious problems of fall damage and friction? Mario gets dropped from a height into plenty of levels, whereas I think just entering certain levels would involve death.

On another note, Mario can't climb most surfaces, but we can.

Honestly, this scenario is much more interesting. It's fun to think about the things we could do differently to get stars.

Yeah, what the fuck would we do about this place?

In the code they're treated like two different areas that you switch between, but would an user be able to get giant and collect the small-version stars?

Hide Cred Forums bullshit.

Tiny island seems like a joke

Remember, you can't leave a level until you collect a star or die. Don't do anything you might regret.

Can you stay under water indefinitely, retard?

Probably at least half of them.

Only those in this thread would be transported, so i'd imagine somebody getting a blowjob behind a tree

Shit down the first pipe you emerge from... it goes to the sewer ....right?

I always thought this was a weird looking painting.

i will rape yoshi as a distraction!
you guys go ahead while you still can!

>Mario gets dropped from a height into plenty of levels
Exactly what i was thinking.

Well, we don't really need every single star anyway, just enough to challenge bowser and save Peach.

Assuming you can freely exit a level after choosing a mission with a Star someone already got, I'd probably just bully a female Goomba since they'd lack the strength to hurt an average human aside from biting.
Either way I'll wait for Boos to haunt the courtyard and find a qt.

so who is plotting to pound Peach when they get their hands on her

Have fun getting the 120 stars to do that first

New plan climb each other to get to yoshi

This seems like the best way to go about it. That way we can't jump our way through the levels, but we can build shit to get us through. Also you have to remember that Goombas are basically animals, and they have some pretty nasty looking fangs there, don't underestimate them.

Yeah, it's pretty interesting to think about. Something's that are nothing to Mario can be near impossible things for us. It also forces people to be imaginative, trying shit out like .

>Implying you can even reach Yoshi

Now I'm imagining what goomba leather would feel like.

Probably a slightly furry texture, like mushrooms before they've been skinned.

you'd have to get all 120 stars before you can get to yoshi

Are we allowed to leave the castle and go explore the other areas of the Mushroom Kingdom?

Also is Mario running around helping/hindering us?

Probrably just get cummed on like those hotglue threads on figurines. Imagine trying out an idea that requires you to activate a cannon and having to speak with the poor hotglued creature.

Just asses creed your way up the castle wall.

Is this tied solely to our physical ability? Because it's kind of shitty to do that. It's like asking if a hamster could get a star if it were transported into the game, when the answer is obviously a fucking no.

It's more reasonable to let us use our intelligence on this, like building a bridge to the floating island or talking to KBB.

DONT CUM ON ESSENTIAL NPCS FOR STARTERS
Kill goombas with it or something, I dont wanna talk to cum-stained toads for stars

These threads have made me realize how much I think an open world Mario game could actually work if done right

The game treats it like 2 different worlds. The real challenge is getting out after falling in a warp pipe bringing you down to the size of an ant.

>freely exit a level after choosing a mission with a star

So we'd get the chain chomp star and then grind 1-ups until we each have like a hundred lives, at which point we could brute-force the levels until we're running low and we can just grind again?

None, because there's no way I could lift Big Bob-omb, or survive him throwing me off the side. If I did manage to win, then King Whomp or the deep diving in Jolly Roger Bay would hinder me.

So would we just all die instantly here?

Toads, goombas and koopas are our main sources of food. DONT CUM ON THEM

Would it be possible for us to build up speed for 12 hours to easily complete a level?

>go into tiny world
>jack off and leave a giant ocean of cum
>go into big world
>jump into the giant cum puddle
Can you imagine how hot it would be to be completely submerged in cum? If you spread your asshole open even a little bit the cum would just rush in to fill it. Fuuuckk

>bust open the grate for the cannon outside the castle
>go to the roof, get 100 lives then fuck the yoshi

Debatable.
But you can't make that first jump anyways

The game doesn't have real human beings programmed into it either retard

If we are going by hard game logic then you wouldn't even be able to exist within it

Let's be real, after the first few days the majority of the population would be stuck inside different levels or dead. The remaining cowards who refused to even enter the paintings would form a small society and live in the castle and courtyard until they died of malnourishment. We simply wouldn't survive.

So is the level completely off-limits?

Maybe we can carry the cage into Tiny-Huge Island and let another user venture in?

>You'll never go on a rape spree with your fellow Cred Forums bros
There's no justice in this life

I'd say you work within your own laws of physics but the game code still applies, Floating islands Water just being a plane, Entering and exiting a painting, 2D sprites always facing you impossibly, Fish passing through you. I'd go even as far as healing yourself in water as the game gives the player health if they just swim keeping their head above water.

The heat alone would be unbearable, and that first jump isn't happening.

The truth right here

Not a bad plan, however you still feel pain

Maybe we could attach Toads to our feet as protective clothing.

Assuming all of Cred Forums gets transported (with the horrific implications of social breakdown that come with that), we could create a human ladder. There's a few hundred thousand of us isn't there?

Well, irl lava emits toxic gases that can kill you, so it is indeed instant death, unless there isn't gasses for some reason.

>thinking you can break open a grate literally sealed by magic
>thinking you'll survive being shot out of cannon at incredibly high speeds
>thinking you'll survive landing on the castle roof after being shot out of a cannon
Yeah, nice try buddy

I think we would be able to enter it the same way we can enter paintings, although it would be terrifying and nobody would want to

>Super Mario 64 is now a survival horror game
I dig it

If we have three lives could some of the suicidal anons dead bodies be used for skull throne

>mario world MMO populated entirely by Cred Forums
>have to not only deal with the physical limitations of ourselves in mario's world, but also with the rigorous hivemind politics and meme wars

>The remaining cowards who refused to even enter the paintings would form a small society and live in the castle and courtyard until they died of malnourishment.
How do toads reproduce?
Are they actually mushrooms?
Can't we just farm them and survive?

Fish in the moat!...

Until it runs out.

Eat toads?

The game has a textures for toxic gases that can kill, so we can assume that this Mario lava doesn't.

If you think about it, Mario's never been that strong of a character. He's a bit stronger than average. Even in-game he's never really able to do anything that requires extreme feats of strength. Lifting King Bob-omb seems to be the one exception, so wouldn't it be safe to assume that if 3, 4 or 5 of us banded together, we could lift him too?

Plus, if the enemies are following SM64's physics, then lifting him would be pretty easy, since he was programmed to be lifted when picked up from behind. That line of thinking is pretty shitty but it is worth thinking about, no?

Mario's mechanics don't apply to us. While this is bad in most cases it can be a boon in others
For example, most people could probably crawl up the grassy hill alongside the castle and get on the roof that way

All people should assume that we are possess the basic requirements that allow mario to survive. That covers stuff like and all that.
As for food, we should be able to survive by cooking goombas and whatnot. It is possible to do it under these conditions.

How would the infinite stars work?

There is only one, isn't there

That...shit, I didn't think of that but it would totally happen.
I'd guess you would remember everything until you died so you would just feel as though you woke up from a realistic dream where you actually felt more pain in your entire life. A nightmare you couldn't wake up from. All that's left is to beat the game with the help of faggots vore fetishers and fem hambeast user and hotgluers and all kinds of people. Your not alone, but it is a form of hell.

>Farming sentient, human level intelligence beings for their meat

Jesus christ

Hm. Yeah, until you open the doors you're right.

Survival of the fittest

I thought it was already agreed upon that only the anons in this thread were transported. And there's only 76 or so unique posters here

>Falling off into the shallow water of the pit

I like these threads

The game would heal you as you swim, So bassically like a vacation untill you dared to go into a painting. The game would also give you breath as you collected coins so it's only your bravery stopping you from getting at least SOME stars.

We have to beat bowser in the sky world at some point. We're probably screwed unless we can find a way to collect the big bombs in the arena (maybe steal some from dark world) and get him to run into them

When a star is collected, does everyone in that area warp back to the castle? Or does just the collector warp, leaving everyone else behind?

Here's a question. For Stars where we need to get red coins, if there were multple anons out there, would it count if the whole team got them? Stars like the Secret Aquarium would be impossible on their own, but somewhat plausible with planning via a team of eight or more. Still would bring up the question if someone got a red coin or two and then died while others were trying to get red coins.

>group of hunters enter Bob-omb Battlefield
>kill Goombas, Koopas, and 1-UP Mushrooms for resources and food
>work together to kill King Bob-omb
>collect the star, exit the level
>rinse and repeat, because everything respawned
I think we'd be fine. The real question is, would we able to make any progress.

10/10

Would PvP be a thing?
What would happen if you stomped a goomba?
Most of us aren't fat midgets that can jump 10 feet high

Everyone is mass teleported back, it's the best way to prevent absolutely fuckery like selecting a different version of the stage.

Everyone, otherwise people will get stuck

But user, even then you can't actually farm them. If it's just like the game, we could eat them, but we would be still stuck inside a cube world, that lets you go to other cube world with no way of getting out except for death, or getting to the actual ending.

How do one user even plans on taking Bowser's tail and swinging it to a bomb?

Does it matter though? Can't you teleport in the flower patch?

This thread would be 100x better if OP actually stated some rules to go by. So far this thread is pretty shitty because people can't agree on what's allowed and what's not

I doubt 76 faggots can fucking carry a ton.

We need a new one
a new hypothetical

We could probably kick a Goomba to a nearby tree and then have someone body slam them.

so who is going to fight bowser and throw them into the bomb?

for Bowser you just need a ton of anons to rush him

I'd try my best to solo it and fuck bowser (no homo)

76 will do, actually.

>Secret Aquarium
I never realized that, but it would be impossible unless you were some insanely talented swimmer or could hold your breath for a long period of time.

I can't imagine any way to defeat King Bob-omb, it would have to be a different star. Plus if he caught one of them and chucked them over the side of the mountain, that'd just be fuckin morbid

>The game acts just like what would happen in the multiplayer version
>One of the user is designated as mario
>When he leaves to a new area, the rest of the game is set in the dark
>All those anons wandering in the dark hoping to go somewhere but can't see shit

Goombas die to punches and kicks

We would need to calculate exactly how the bomb king weight. Maybe with some weight training some of us could defeat him

There's another thread like this, if that's what you mean.

youtube.com/watch?v=BZyUGT9YPhg
QPUs are just memes here, but you only need frame perfect timing to clone objects, which should be plenty to clone a star.

Really, the 0 A press series is a great blueprint for unathletically getting stars since there's limited jumping.

I'd say the game world would allow you to interact with anything mario could interact with as long as you made a similar action (animation?) like standing in front of a character or sign and looking at it would cause you to see a text box. Or like doing three shitty jumps with the flight cap makes the game give you the ability to fly (Landing however...) I'd say the game would treat every user as a player and if you do mario like things (punch/kick/jump on top of/ Slide) The World would act accordingly.

I think i could get a decent amount actually

But fuck i aint going anywhere near the water levels fuck that garbage

I doubt KBO is a ton. If Mario had that much strength, he could just punch his way through everything.

Don't worry user, I'll do the homo for you.

TIME TO GO RECRUITING

>76 anons vs. King Bob-omb
>average adult male can deadlift around 150 pounds
>King Bob-omb weighs at most a ton (2000 pounds)
I think 76 is more than enough, even if we're all weaklings.

He swings Bowser around like it's nothing, Mario is pretty fucking stronk

Will Ghost levels be possible?

I know this was said way in the beginning, but if the enemies follow the game's physics, having KBB hit the ground hard 3 times would be enough to defeat him. The only time it doesn't work is when you throw him off the cliff. Ergo, taking him to the ground hard should be enough to beat him.

>76 anons on the top of that tiny platform
Wouldn't he just start tossing people off left and right?

When a player dies in a stage they get transported out, So if an user dies and is with a team they get mass transported back/ Same if one got a star, mass transwarp

Whatever physics the world has, but with our own abilities. Just like if you could go on the moon, you'd jump higher etc. Now, that doesn't mean that we have the video games power (health, etc), we're just ourselves.

What if we just throw dirt at his face?
That'd technically work wouldn't it?

>Tiny-Huge Island
Provided we could make it that far, the vorefags would infest the place within a matter of minutes, nobody would be fucking safe.

To the game has an ecosystem ? Does the fish re spawn ?

He only has two hands. We're just gonna need to use the power of numbers efficiently.

The game follows it's on physics, you follow your own, If you made the grabbing action with your arm the game would attach the king to your hand, He'd be light as a feather.

If we managed to actually get 10 stars, how many people would die by looking up at the ceiling in the main lobby?

>that one level thats literally just a box of water with 8 red coins
Please no

Now that's just nit-picky and you know it. But I like the way you think, user

There are fish in the lake and a tree that makes mushrooms. That's enough for food.

I don't think the team gets transported out if only one dies. The person that dies is just locked out of going into paintings until the rest of the team dies, or waits in some black abyss.

None.
Dying in that level doesn't take a life from you, it just brings you back to the castle.
A good chunk of people would probably get PTSD from it though

What if, even after we somehow beat Bowser, were still stuck there?

realistically how many of us would try to exit a map's boundaries, what is beyond them?

Okay, so we can set a rule here where teams have to be defined before jumping inside a painting

Get real. the game would attach a magic cap to everyones skull and one dies they'd all warp back

I'm getting uncomfortable just thinking about this nightmarish hypothetical

I don't like having to my new pink onahole with 76 other people but it'll have to do.

Well at least we have cake

>go the back courtyard
>run around fountain 100 times counter-clockwise
>unlock luigi and get transformed into him
>play through entire game with mario's powers (except being able to jump higher)
hell maybe I could figure out the QPU shit and help out other anons

This thread has me interested.
What are some good MMOs with true Permadeath? Not just losing your character but being unable to ever play the game again. And at what point will broadband be good enough for reflexive skill based MMOs?

What if we cover the ceiling in brown by throwing sticks of our own shit at it, surely that would keep us safe.

Okay, I'll make some rules that allow for the most possible creativity

>You are you with just the clothes on your back, like OP said

>The Mario world is in "real world" levels of detail, but Mario physics still applies to everything but us. For example fish have bones, goombas have wearable hides, you CAN break branches off trees. Similar to pic related. Enemies leave behind remains, you can dig in the ground, and so on. While the world is in "real" levels of detail, there is still floating shit and magic and stuff like that.

>Goombas bite, but are squishy enough that anons actually can jump on them to kill them.

>No toxic gases or radiant heat in Lethal Lava Land, or else this game is a no-win scenario.

>Powerups do their IRL function, but you can choose to carry instead of using them.

>If an angle can be scaled in real life, we can do it, even if Mario can't

>All anons who posted in this thread are teleported in, allowing for teamwork

>All anons are teleported out of a world along with the guy who got the star

>No parallel universes

>I get first dibs on Peach

you would break your legs getting dropped into the first world anyway

So a person who dies while in a team would just be warped back themselves and then jump in and try again?

>watching in horror as user after user dies trying to stay on the slider puzzle

When you warp back from that level you drop a hundred feet into the lake behind the castle, it's still entirely possible that they would die there

>after so many trials and painful losses
>you and the small number of anons left have done it
>you're finally free...
>...
>why the fuck are you still there?

And then our reward is going to a much more realistic Mushroom kingdom, and we have Mario-levels of athleticism.

That'd be sweet yo.

reminds me of youtube.com/watch?v=7YyBtMxZgQs

No, they're restricted from jumping in paintings until the entire team is back, that includes the painting they were just forced out of.

No. Mario is essentially a god. Just getting headbutted by a goomba once would probably mean death. If the first headbutt doesn't do it, you'd probably be stunned or knocked out for it to headbutt you to death.

>mfw we get multiple people and have fun on that one secret level with the slide

Wait, aren't we using real-life health system here? What if the cap ends and you're above a tower? You're going to fucking BREAK YOUR LEGS AT LEAST
>Massive graveyard inside the volcano

Shit, your right. Way to go we'd all leave shit scrawlings on the floor reading (DON'T LOOK UP)

Probably more than I could get on that forced 3d, shit camera, shit controls pile of garbage game.

No, not trolling, I hated Mario 64 from the first time I played it just before its US release and I hate it now. Gameplay is fucking garbage and the only reason people like it is because paid Nintendo reviews and style over substance nugamers in the mid-90s (basically all of you) that hate actual gameplay.

>Only people in this thread
>No parallel universes
>Implying we wouldnt all have a humongous orgy with peach at the same time
Bullshit. I'm out. If anybody needs me I'll be drowing myself in the moat.

I didn't see it yesterday.
Not everyone is on Cred Forums at the same time.

>99 posters

It's about to happen, collect what survival gear you can.

Anons
What about...
FUCKING RAINBOW RIDE?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

holy fuck i'm freezing to death

what happens if you forget your lives count?

WE'RE ALL FUCKED

>101
>we're still here

Meme magic may have killed my mom, but it apparently won't give me what I ACTUALLY want. Fuck.

But the game reacts to the player a certain way, I'd say the goomba would just squish if you stepped on him.

>tfw you and fellow Anons have to search for 100 coins

We only need 70 stars to win
Although I'm sure there'd be people who'd go full autism and complete all 120
>Wearing a penguin coat
>Hello have you seen my baby?

>Everyone straight up dies in quicksand or gets crushed by the huge block.

Mother of god.

So, if it were possible for you to visit any level of your choosing, are there any stars that you're confident you could get?

I think Tall, Tall Mountain would be pretty fun to climb

The one above the tree on the floating island.

Yeah, have fun DYING

Look, instead of going out of our way to do that slide on our own, let's just cut through the trees outside and turn them into sleds or something

Kill the mama penguin, take her stars, eat her child, and make a tent from her hide

Quick, everyone, wear a wingsuit so we can survive the cannons

>nugamers

How the fuck would we climb those four towers? I mean yeah it's possible for us to scale it, but what about the one surrounded by deadly quicksand?

>have to stay on a slide made of ice
>without being pushed off by a giant penguin
>and win the race without cheating

Just tested it out, dying in that level respawns Mario to where he's sleeping right in this picture. So dying in the Wing Cap level would keep you alive.
But yeah, assuming someone was able to properly use a Wing Cap, having it run out while above a surface would probably result in an insta-death due to fall damage.

lava land is so retardedly lethal that even with 1000 user's trying to collect every star I think it would be impossible

Hey anons if we don't have Mario's HP bar, do coins at least heal wounds or hunger or something?

>skin penguins to survive

Comfy. Then we can live in the cabin.

Gotta human tower it

We need someone with good balance, so we can use the koopa shell

Hopefully at least two anons in this thread are wearing full scuba gear

Assuming the game mechanics are the same, all of them. I simply take my time building up speed to get them all, in as few of half A presses as possible.

if mario is able to crawl past those blocks without being killed i'm sure we could do it without getting hit

I wanna be a magikoopa.

Sign me up.

We'd have to work together like fucking Pikmin.

The fat people would make good stairs probably.

Lethal Lava Land is definitively off limits

With so many of us in one place, all fighting the same desperate struggle for survival, do you think we could find love among ourselves?

>you HAVE to lift him up to defeat him
You all do know Yoshi beat him by not throwing him, right?

Good food, too.
So, like...60% of you?

Yeah haha, follow me into lethal lava land for some sweet rp and maybe cudding and stuff

I'm gonna say yes, since those are external factors healing Mario, and not Mario's own ability.

No lewd until a star is got

just look at this thread

More like brotherly love, trying to deadly obstacle courses and fight off bombs with legs.

No das gay
I bet I'd find some top tier bros though

this would be a bad way to die

How doable would rainbow ride be?
Would we even be able to get a single star?

go to tiny world if there's any cute girl anons around
otherwise leave it for someone else

Okay so now that we can have several anons on the same course, BBB is somewhat doable

hey man I'm only 5 kilos over, and my meat is unpleasant and stringy. Go bother the Americans.
I think I could beat you over the head with a club when nobody is looking and throw your unconscious body into Lethal Lava Land.

Holy fuck that made me laugh, I hope you don't die too early user cause you're funny

Well assuming that we only go for the bare minimum and easiest stars, we would still need to figure out a way to make it through Dire Dire Docks which is likely impossible and the Bowser levels. No clue how anyone is going to get him over to the bombs.

>all these fucking survival horror scenarios in fucking Super Mario 64

How many of us would get shell shock

WHERE ARE OUR SUMMERS AT?

>Several anons jumps into the level at the same time
>Most fall down the flying carpet almost instantly

can we break the doors down?

awoo

I see... you are one of those guys, huh?

>Tfw shy femboy
>I would probably be raped instantly unless I got a group of humky /fit/ white knights to protect me
>I would repay them for their services with loads of sex

>user huddled in the corner just saying YIPPEEE over and over

No, they're sealed with magic.

fuck i mean swimmers

I think we can assume that you only have one life, but does collecting mushrooms actually resurrect you? Will you just get thrown out of a painting like mario does?

We'll have to give everyone a role.

First we have the anons who are in decent shape, at least. Or those who are average but willing to put in the exercise. They'll be separated into groups:

>Runner
>Climber
>Swimmer
>Gatherer
>Fighter

Then you've got the anons who aren't even close to being in shape. They'll have to be organized into different groups that deal with shit in the castle:

>Janitors
>Cooks
>Fucktoys
>Entertainers
>Food

And lastly, we have the complete trash. Those of us who are so worthless. You're in horrible shape, you've got some mental issue, you're an idiot, you're a furry, whatever. You're going to be used as a lemming. Your job is to go into the paintings with your team and act as a distraction.

>One user claims he can make it into the safe spot of those blocks
>He didn't make it

God the amount of fatalities we'd be suffering would be ridiculous. We wouldn't make it a full day

How would dying work though?

>simply entering Dire Dire Docks is a fall to the death even if somehow an user is posting ITT in full scuba gear
We're fucking doomed.

why don't we just demolish the roof and jump into any room we want to?

Why are we even planning to risk our lives in the paintings when we have a better chance just building a boat and swimming in the giant ocean that surrounds the castle?

>have to recall your brothers being tossed around begging for mercy by these smug machines

I'd sleep a lot.

Super Lemmings 64

>Everybody forgetting you can cheese most of the game by stair glitching
How would that feel though? Would it hurt?

The same way dying works for you right now

you die and your corpse serves as a warning to the rest

>all surviving anons who contributed are seen as heroes for accomplishing such a feat
>you do end up getting Mario Physics but something like bumping into a Goomba still won't hurt you
>Peach arranges for everyone to have their own home, the economy isn't fucked so coins have actual value and require some effort to earn and won't reach NSMB-tier bullshit ever
>there's a good chance grills of several species will want your dick if you're not a fatass who reeks
>a pipe back home is somewhere in the darkest depths of the world, assuming you want to leave

Because we'd hit the skybox.

>the battered few finally make it to bowser
>instead of trying to throw him off the edge they all just swarm him and beat him to death like a pack of animals
>all while shouting "SO LONG GAY BOWSER!"

I feel like a lot of those roles are unnecessary, but you have a really good idea.
Same way as it works in real life. Your limp body will stay there, until the level restarts, and you're wiped from existence forever.

Sure man, let's say that powerups do their ingame function for the sake of creativity You start with 0 extra lives unlike Mario's 4, but you get more from 1-ups

>entertainers
we don't need useless jobs

you would get slammed by the wall and die

That'd require being able to do a long jump backwards in the first place

user dont do it youll become too coarse

The world is a skybox, user. you can't get out, there is a invisible wall, and even pannenkoek himself proved that the only thing out there is more of the same area in an infinite amount

Were inside of a video game and the only way to get out is to finish the game

But if we do that, we'll just end up in a parallel universe

So, can we just climb up to Yoshi, grab a 100 lives and get a triple jump out of it?

Why not? We could wait until the blocks are going AWAY from us and run and mark the correct spots one by one.

Honestly, shifting sand land would be a super slow level, but it'd be mostly doable.

>we find isle delfino

Princess Peach awakened from this wonderful dream where her prayers for a merciful death were finally answered. She should be so lucky. It is day 128 after what she has deemed the anonymous coup. As she appeared outside of her castle, vaguely aware that she had been saved, she anticipated that it was Mario responsible for restoring her freedom. She opened her eyes, prepared to give some half-baked thank you and a cock block. But as comprehension found her, she realized that Mario cannot help her now. Thousands of neckbeards returned her bewildered stare with lustful, greedy eyes. Her Toads tried to defuse the situation and stepped forward. They were accosted immediately by serveral of the greasier Cred Forumsirgins, their cocks immediately thrust into every available orifice (and several makeshift orifices). One particularly gaunt looking user commanded the Toad he held in his grip to shit himself, unaware that he had been beaten to the punch by instinct. Peach opened her mouth to scream. She was immediately silenced by dicks. Never would she know how many dicks deflected her agonized cries. Or maybe she just never wanted to know. Her head was swimming so hard that she did not realize immediately that the pain she was feeling below the waist was the result of one user who felt that knocking on the back door was just time wasted comparing to barging in. Perhaps this user simply wanted his instant gratification, as a line looped around haphazardly from the bridge to the cannon waiting to gain carnal knowledge of the fair lady. She knew when the first of her violators was finished as a warm and sticky sensation rested on her womb. She didn't need to wait for this user to remove his rapidly deflating member to understand not just what had happened to her, but indeed what was about to happen to her.

Such is the life of Peach Toadstool, monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom turned sexual public servant.

Well, sort of. You only really die if your lives reach 0, otherwise you'll get booted from the painting. Which begs the question, what if i break my legs and get stuck? Am i going to starve to death for days to get booted from the painting?
I can see several anons getting PTSD from this shit

>tfw we need to beat Super Mario Sunshine now in order to escape
>tfw only one F.L.U.D.D.
>tfw I'M A CHUCKSTER

You just die, unless you managed to find a 1up earlier, in which case you respawn.
I like the way you think.

Cooks could probably prepare some mean mushroom and fish stews from goombas+the moat

>That one faggot who yells "MEXICO!" every time we enter a level

I'm going to feed you to a fucking piranha plant

>a sect of anons dedicated to figuring out how glitching can be done by humans
>two anons leave the small area of the castle grounds that is designated as the lab, one crying while held by the other
>the only thing left in the lab is an user half-clipping through the ground, stuck in a T pose
>he's still alive

You can just bite your tongue and bleeding to death.

Which ones do you think are unnecessary?

>that one user who finds a way to build speed so high it causes an overflow and we all get locked into a frozen, unmoving hell

Don't forget the parallel universes have no texture and you crash(die) if your camera(eyes) see them

i think you need to stop

>we don't need useless jobs

This is a hopeless situation. Regardless of what rules we're playing by, people are going to die. A lot. Entertainers are there to take your mind off of shit and help mitigate PTSD

How would Boos even hurt you
Theyre just flying marshmallows

>That user who would die trying to fuck a Goomba

youtube.com/watch?v=GMXhqd2aGS4

>designated shitting cannon

...

>talk it out with bowser and he lets us all go except for the ones who want to snuggle with him for a while

imagine a sphere just materializing into half of your arm

whatever's there would be forced out

physics

>The very idea of experiencing a misaligned QPU

>Super Mario Galaxy
>Falling into a black hole

They touch you and you experience non-physical agony

Imagine hurting so much you die. Not even that there's anything wrong with you, the pain just becomes so great you die of shock.

They clearly have fangs, and aside from that I'd imagine turning solid while phased inside you would cause something fucked to happen.

>Some anons get Bowser
>Others get Peach
Why dont we just live here

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

An user in the last thread had some decent arguments that 20 was the absolute human limit. It did involve some tricky and risky shit like climbing a fence in Hazy Maze Cave and learning how to use the Wing Cap.
Additionally, you would never be able to win. No human would be able to survive the heat of Bowser in the Fire Sea.

So how do these work? If they can be moved, a lot of challenge is removed right there.

Fighters aren't really needed, considering I feel like most bosses in the game are going to require a number of people working on them at once. There's no real reason to have a specific group for fighting, when it's going to need nearly everyone to work together on it.
Honestly you could probably just combine a lot of the exercise category into two, either as Explorers (looking for stars) or Hunters (killing creatures for food and collecting resources)
Fucktoys and Entertainers aren't very necessary either. I do think that they're important roles, but they could probably be sub-roles for other classes (i.e. someone's main role during the day is a Hunter, but is also capable of entertaining others as well)

>Break legs
>Can't reach them anymore

mario moves right through them, so they are probably intangible.

Someone could clone one maybe and move it, but then it'd only work once before becoming useless.

youtube.com/watch?v=OCh2l0J1uJk
telefrag, ala shub-niggerath

If we can climb up the castle to meet Yoshi, do we get the 100 lives and the ability to triple jump and not take damage from a fall?

We can free the chomp, get the star, and then go to the slide, get to stars which makes 3 and that opens 2 doors user.

>Three months pass
>Only three anons left
>They've collected all of the stars, are ready to kill Bowser
>They're weary yet the experience has made them strong
>They see the grate has been removed
>One of them jumps in
>He lands in a pool of shit
>The other two hear the screams of their comerade, who is currently drowning in shit
>The drowning user somehow manages to find the button to fire the cannon
>Three months'-worth of shit from 101 anons rains down upon the castle, covering it completely
>The drowning user slams into the castle, erupting blood and even more shit
>The pond is covered in a layer of shit so thick that you can walk on it

We'd have a designated healer then, at least in certain levels where Spinning Hearts are normally accessible.

No, he just has to reach the length between the post & the fence - the width of you.

Which he does.

They bite the ghost that lives inside of you

>All the Barafags makes it all the way to bowser
>Turns out you can take Bowser by the tail just like how mario does

>getting all 120
we only need 70 to escape

Holy shit my sides

Well?

How do we kill it, guys?

dude chain chomp in real life would be scary as fuck

There are trees in the courtyard so I don't think we'll have much trouble fashioning some sort of ladder to reach the roof where Yoshi is. Which essentially means we all have infinite lives, so long as we aren't stupid enough to go adventuring without visiting Yoshi first.

Given aging isn't a thing in the Mario world, isn't it basically inevitable that we collect all the stars eventually? I don't there's one that is physically impossible with the right tools and coordination. And win infinite time and tries, I can only imagine the retarded shit people would come up with in time. Like drop pods made of goomba carcasses for dropping into levels where Mario is spawned higher than a human could survive, or grappling hooks fashioned out of bones and sinew.

>Bowser in the Sky in general
we give up

Couldnt you just go on the opposite of the fence and tiptoe across? Mario obviously can't, but we can.

I'm fucking crying

Can enemies be tamed, if we tame an enemy they have Mario physics

By the time we reach Bowser in the Sky, 95% of us would be dead
You and I would probably be long gone

Sure, I don't see why not. It would make a lot of levels actually beatable instead of "die instantly just by being dropped into them by breaking your neck".

Why don't we just fashion tools out of level objects and take them through levels with us?
>Throw goomba through a painting with a high drop
>Jump almost immediately after him
Easy

I think having unlimited lives will make this trivial. We need to limit this

Well the way I see it, fighters are mostly there for their physical strength. They're more like enforcers. They aren't really agile but they can move heavy shit like blocks and can take out enemies.

Explorers aren't really needed because everyone in this thread has played the game and I'm certain at least half of us know how to get all of the stars.

The main reason I gave gatherers their own role is because their job is to collect coins and food and bring it back for the anons in the castle. They'd have to carry big bags, and therefore wouldn't be able to easily move around.

if I fell into the sky would I be booted out of the painting like mario? if so would I reach terminal velocity and splatter all over the wall once I'm shot outside the painting?

Unlimited lives doesn't prevent you from feeling pain and giving you PTSD.

I think we should try and domesticate the chain chomp, they're kept as pets in sunshine

Fucking Finally!
That's definitely the rules

>I don't there's one that is physically impossible with the right tools and coordination
Depends on whether there is radiant heat and toxic gases in Lethal Lava Land that doesn't affect Mario, but does affect us.

>we manage to get enough stars to beat the game
>through cheats, mass casualties, cobbling koopa shells into armor, wearing hats to give us more defense (remember, you take less damage if you have a hat on), glitching, and so on
>we beat bowser by pushing him into bombs and never stopping hopping while we are on fire so we don't die

>get to this screen
>locked here forever
>there was never a way out

No doors locked, is there a level that Cred Forums users as a whole can clear as normal humans? Maybe one of the Bowser levels or the one level where you control the water levels?

The Chain Chomp star is an option, but that would require butt pounding his pole and trying to run circles around him.

The cannon is also probably not an option unless someone's just dressed to be a human cannonball and aims just right.

we could get a lot of us to strip naked, and use the clothing to make a makeshift parachute for an user, and then that user hunts goombas and brings it back to us to further make parachutes / clothing out of the leather.

Good fucking lord how terrifying, anons just splattering out of paintings in a red mist

>feed them the furfags and trannies who posted in this thread

Those three anons are collecting all of the stars, to honor their fallen brethren. Their time spent there has given them increased physical ability, so while they aren't on-par with Mario, they can at least get stars that seem impossible for you and me.

It's a shame they have to meet their end in such a shitty way

>yfw

>Cucked forever as you hear mario getting sucked off by peach

So basically we'll all go mad unless we are Guts

Jesús Christo que horroroso.

What the fuck is this thing? I never noticed it.
It looks like a face, it's freaking me out.

Meanwhile, in Cred Forums Bob-Omb Battlefield...

>implying I would be able to hold my breath long enough to see him

I really hope someone saves this post and uses it to start a new thread, if there ever is one.

>all 123 anons in this thread work together to yank him out of the cage and throw him on the land at the start of the stage
>we eat eel that night

i just noticed that too, it looks like a piggy bank

How do we even get Bowser to touch the spike balls? Unless if one of the anons here has super human strength we're screwed.

This fucking thread destroyed my sides.

>user dismembered after the cannon shot
my sides

>moment of reprieve as bowser steals peach again mid-blow

We have some skeleton anons in this thread, I'm sure they could slip their arms through the bars. The issue is distracting the Chain Chomp

>that one guy bending over in front of King Bob-omb
L E W D

We try to rape him en-masse so he ends up killing himself.

>Gregor happens to be browsing Cred Forums
>just so happens he's amazing at real life too
>enters paintings and always comes back alive and well carrying a Star
>anons rejoice and celebrate his return

One day Gregor will save us from this hellhole and we will have fucking story to tell.

Grabbing his tail makes him instantly fall, so we just need to pull him close to one and then push him off the ledge. He only need to touch a bomb for it to detonate.

Bowser probably weighs about 10 fucking tons.
Theres NO CHANCE we are getting him to those balls, our best chance is to talk it out, get the most charismatic user to act as a diplomat.

>and use the clothing to make a makeshift parachute for an user
>no needles
>clothing fabric is probably too dense for a workable parachute canopy

I'm assuming most people here are dressed like pic related.

It could help drag the king off the cliff

Either we could push him all together (and potentially get caught in the explosion), or we lure him close to a bomb and throw something at it to blow it up

>Gregor enters a painting one day
>He never comes back and we all wait for nothing with open arms

>what are bone needles

There was some strawpoll floating around with a few hundred people involved.

Apparently Cred Forums's about 1/3rd women.

>One user crouches behind King BB
>Other user pushes him over
>Crushes the first user to death

What about a new thread?

Tonight I sleep with clothes on just in case I wake up with 128 other people in a colorful place.

Sure as long as the rules are posted.

Just make sure to change starting extra lives to 0.

Oh fuck I didn't think of that, nobody judge me I sleep naked

>One user goes insane and begins cleaning the other Anons in secret

this is the best thread I've seen on Cred Forums in a long time

no user, its too much.

he was the one true savior.

honestly, i can see how defeated Cred Forums would be. knowing we lost a Legend.

>change starting extra lives to 0.

>Wet dry world

>every time an user enters the stage someone lowers the water

>whenever they are in a dangerous position the cult formed at the top raises it again, drowning them

>guarded by the chucksters

death city

I fucking love you guys. This thread is going to help me sleep with all the laughs I've had.

...

>thinking any of us have the swimming prowess to even make it that deep
>thinking any user actually able to swim that deep would do it because we all know the eel is down there

nah fuck that.

Nigga, I doubt you have 3 extra lives on your person right now.

Besides, there's a tree outside the castle that gives lives and Yoshi on top of the castle that gives 100.

i might be able to outrace the koopa in the first world for his star but i cant see any of the others being possible

>one user makes it into the sunken ship
>but forgot the correct order of chests

Not enough women to go around.
Maybe an orgy.

Even the bob-ombs run with enough force to push mario around the world, even a single bob-omb would be enough to trample us.

>monkey steals all of our hats

We're only trying to escape, right? Chances are we could convince him to free us from Peach's Castle and into somewhere safer in the Kingdom in exchange for the Power Stars we reclaimed.

I hear she's good at baking, so I guess I'll ask her for some of that infamous cake.

Not a euphemism or anything, it just sounds like good cake.

is it a clone?

could literally just be resurrection.

>anons being entertainers
>in a world designed to give people PTSD
youtube.com/watch?v=X8vr3YDIdPc

>Pannenkoek and Gregor teams up
>They use their powers to save everyone
>turns out building speed in a short times still counts as eons, so by the time they finish everything thanks to their super human understanding of the game, no one is alive by the time they make it but themselves

>another way
user, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

haha no

bowser is a brainless automaton and exists purely to murder you

>resting after a days worth of gathering for the group
>suddenly wake up to some babbling user, cleaning me

I don't know if I love this thread or hate it.

I mean you've got the anons arguing what rules apply and if it's even possible to beat King Bob-omb, but then you have the gang rape of Yoshi / Peach / Goombas / Pink Bob-ombs, the shit-cannon, exiting a stage at terminal velocity, etc.

This threads about to 404

Prepare for hell

>implying you will be able to even see anything that far down.

>Everyone hog up on that koopa shell near the shore
>Most fuck up and get their arms shredded by the clam
>Shell explodes into bits because its was badly handled

>The game doesn't have real human beings programmed into it either retard
TURBO TASTIC

This thread is gold, I need more Cred Forums in vidya

Those are all very real concerns

let me amend "powerups do their IRL function" to "powerups do their ingame function"

and we don't have HP bars, so we'd take injury like real life, but coins could partially heal injuries and restore breath like they do for Mario

Is this theoretically the most doable world?

Quick someone make a new thread

So can the toads even be affected

I'd wanna see if we could get into the secret skybox city.

I would try my best to fashion some kind of weapon first, I think I could maybe beat the koopa at the race if i really go for it, then I might be fucked, There are extra lives somewhere so I would look for one of those before I go for more stars, but...

If I was resurrected, would it really be me?

How do they taste is the real question

WHY COULDN'T WE BE TRANSPORTED TO SUNSHINE?

...

no because you will have that one asshole raising the water to drown people

>getting arrested because of racist Hawaiians
>poisonous shit polluting everything

Doable but still dangerous as shit. Drowning and falling do your death are very likely.

Heck, getting flung by one of those smugshit windup toys in and of itself would probably snap your legs or fuck up your joints, and you kind of need to do that to get to some places, right?

>wearing a hat

what are you, a tf2fag?

You'd just rise up with the water user. Which would actually make traversing the stage a breeze with multiple people.

I'd say Hazy Maze Cave would be. Doesn't seem to require any extreme physical feats from what I can remember

>user joins in from the upper part at the same time someone is lowering the water level
RIP

Its can be done, but you would need two anons handling the water switches so others can reach the second part or others.

Now imagine if the electro-balls can electrocute the water just like real life

>that one fag that intentionally lets petey vore him

Despite all the horrible shit we'd have to deal with, I think drowning would be the most terrifying

Well we could always scale the wall ourselves. It's fairly reasonable to assume we could somehow fashion a climbing pick out of some type of stone

Lets have the next thread be about Sunshine

No, melting in lava is probably the worst.

New thread

Now Sunshine has rapeable characters and actual food.

No.