ITT: we post pictures relating to how FAST this game is

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>This Thread

How far has videogaming regressed when I DON'T want to see what s new F-Zero game would be like?

Kek

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Seen the F-ZERO annie-may?

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Watched that shit raw. It had it's moments, but it dragged on just a little to much in the middle before the meme-tastic ending.

I've PLAYED the F-Zero annie-may.

aaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHH

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>8000 km/h

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JESUS CHRIST MAN.

The best part of GX speedruns is watching the pilot go apeshit in the corner.

Dear Nintendo:
YOUR COCKSUCKING PRODUCT HAS REDUCED ME TO A GIBBERING MAN-APE WHOSE ONLY RESORT TO DEALING WITH THE ALMIGHTY loving GRIEF IT'S BESTOWED UPON ME IS TO SCREAM AND HURT MYSELF.

Seriously, I am jumping up and down and throwing my poo poo in handfuls at the loving television in some impotent primal effort to get the thing to work. I have been sitting here trying to enjoy your product - YOUR PRODUCT, YOUR GAME, YOUR CONTRACT BETWEEN DEVELOPER AND CONSUMER THAT THE CONSUMER WILL ENJOY YOUR PRODUCT - but instead the drat thing's been crawling out of the console and taking warm shits in my gaping mouth. Swear to god, you should have just added a little door to the console through which a hand pops out and flips me off, because I am insulted that your QA or testers or whatever brainless shitstove three genes short of a monkey FAGNUT signs your games through thought that a person with more than a single loving digit IQ could enjoy Story Mode Chapter 7. INSULTED.

WORK WITH ME HERE: The goal's simple enough! Come in first! Hey, that's fine, it's just like playing the grand loving prix; not a problem! Only deal is your cross-eyed team of tongue-slapping wunderkind decided to give the game every single loving advantage possible TO THE GAME rather than me.

How in the gently caress does Black Shadow - whose car is the heaviest and lamest piece of poo poo next to the Crazy Bear - suddenly become SO loving GOOD that he can stay in first without using a drop of boost? Huh!? Why!? You never see this shithead anywhere near the top loving 20 in a normal race. BUT HO HO HO THIS TIME HE'S MEGA-COCK, THE FASTEST enjoyable human being IN THE WORLD. 1.21 GIGAWATTS MARTY, LET'S GO BACK TO THE loving FUTURE.

But it's not just Black Shadow with the magical powers, it's the entire loving lineup of racers! THEY'RE ALL FASTER THAN YOU. AND DON'T REQUIRE ANY BOOST.

But but but I of course, am still driving some piece of poo poo hamster-powered jalopy who guzzles it's entire energy bar in no less than four loving boosts! Add to this the entire course just got shitted on by some retarded space tiki volacano god and you've got a course full of hazards that'll drain at least 1/4 of your energy bar JUST BECAUSE IT CAN. WHOOPIE.

HURRR, you say. THAT'S JUST THE CHALLENGE. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY. Well gently caress that noise, you lopsided frankenfaced fuckfurter.

Tell me, please, why does the GAME have to win? Huh? What happens when the game wins and I lose? Is there some huge loving kegger waiting for it when it gets done? Is there money involved? Or perhaps the motives are more sinister. Maybe the game's family is being held hostage by another game and that game has it's cock in F-Zero's wife's mouth and he's holding a cell phone up to her and F-Zero can hear her pained moans and cries for help and the rear end in a top hat game then says, "You beat that cock-sucking human, or I'll blow her brains out." I COULD UNDERSTAND THAT. I CAN BE SYMPATHETIC.

It's not any fun if I can't win, you faggots. I want to move on. I want to unlock whatever piece of poo poo clown car you have hidden away from me so I can start racing and get pissed off with that too. When your game prevents me from fully enjoying the product I have bought you have failed in your loving mission to deliver a game. You lose! You break the contract! You contract the gay and loving DIE DIE DIE.

>mfw master class

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>BUT HO HO HO THIS TIME HE'S MEGA-COCK, THE FASTEST FAGGOT IN THE WORLD

Still my favourite line out of any pasta ever.

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>tfw can't beat chapter 1 on hard
How do I get to chapter 2?

You beat Chapter 1, then buy Chapter 2 from the F-Zero Shop™. You earn F-Zero $ by beating story mode, so you should be fine.
I recommend beating the story mode before going into Master GP, because you can unlock more GX machines which are great for beginners and veterans alike.

Does playing the GP modes grant tickets?
Chapter 1 on hard only gave me 15 and I need 20 to buy chapter 2.

chapter 1 on normal*

You get tickets from completing a difficulty in story or doing GP.

Oh. I thought it gave you enough to buy the next chapter. Well, nope. Get your ass in the Grand Prix, son. It's way, way easier anyway. Pr-tip: Beating any cup on Expert automatically fills out Novice and Standard as well, so I'd do that if I was you.
The step up in difficulty from Standard to Expert is a bit bigger, but you can do it. Trial by fire, user.

Thanks for the help

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Anytime. Hope you'll enjoy the game. It gets better once you start getting the hang of the physics and stuff.

>youtube.com/watch?v=n5kN4WkIXc8

I miss this game so much

RAGTAG GROUP OF VIRGINS LEAD BY A FURRY TRIPFAG AND A BR WITH 140 PING

Was fun to play at launch, even if I was only good with the soldier and heavy classes.
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I consider that shit the last great hurrah of Cred Forums. We've had good times after, but I honestly don't think it can really compare to that massive stomp and the celebration afterwards.
It almost brings a tear to my eye.

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