If you were to pitch a videogame idea to a publisher, what would your opening statement be?

yo boi wes need a gaem bout us bleck folk nigguh
wes been abused by da white too much senpai

This will offend alot of people.

Order in the thread! Back on topic!

What's a woman?

Can you make me a sandwich?

stupit uncle fill

He'll always be Oroku Saki to me.

No more threads, Will.

IN A WORLD.

YOU OWE ME

collin?

Hey user would you make me a sandwich?

...

There goes Phillip banks, the biggest ass that ever lived. What a douche hAHhah-HAHAHAHA-Haha-hahahh

"This game is guaranteed to make billions."

>EA
Okay, I've got three kids on ice in my van, and I'll deliver five more for a hundred mil plus marketing.

Oh, okay

WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK, YOURE NOT MY MOTHER

MY MOM myyy MUM

Either
"__something____ directed by Hideo Kojima"
Or
"New IP that is Procedurally generated"
Boom, millions of free money

Why don't we just make those Xcom games except have it take place in a medival fantasy setting where you control an order of Knights instead of a Government agency and fight against demons appearing out of hell gates instead of ayy lmaos in ufos?

"consoles fucking suck dick and we'll made fat wads of money focusing on the PC and PC alone"

"here's how"

Do you remember what fun is? DO YOU?

"It gittin' lit nah, innit???"

I have a similar idea, but it'd be about planning and pulling off heists in 1988 Miami.

Yo Sega, Imma let you finish but Valkyria Chronicles was your best IP of all time, OF ALL TIME.

Here's whatcha gonna do. CROSSOVER. ALL OF THEM.
Skies, VC1, VC2 and VC3. You're gonna add time travel because that shit is tops. How you gonna get time travel? Dunno, Valkyria Magic that shit up.
You add in flying ships alongside tanks. You have team-ups between characters and you give the players waifu mechanics.
You add in so much player fanservice of all kinds that you roll in money.

Peace out, niggas.

"You're a bunch of old farts in business suits who should have been put in a home years ago. If any of you fucking relics knew how the modern vidya industry worked, you wouldn't be taking an idea from a civilian. So shut up and listen."

I dont have a big BUTT like my worthy adversary Philip Banks

>Young people rule, old geezers drool!

are you a final fantasy character?

Has anyone here watched Blade Runner?
>mfw I'm pitching a spiritual successor to Star War: Bounty Hunter

It was either that, or call them out on their xenophobia.

>record scratch
>freeze frame
Yup, that's me. Bet your wondering how I got myself into this mess, huh? Well it all started when...
>Baba O'Riley starts playing

I'm Henry Firth

The gameplay is basically Dark Souls

BRING HIM BACK
BRING HIM BACK
BRING HIM BACK

It's like helicopters with snowboards and there's a season pass

Fuck your father
Fuck you nigga, youre a phone

Guys you would not believe it but this happened to me already on Cred Forums

It's like a cross between a dikekike video and chickenewingigesh

youtube.com/watch?v=4Ruqn1Lnexs

This is incredible!

hi

>"have you ever read malleus maleficarum?"

Drake & Josh: The Game

okama gamesphere exclusive, fuck niggers and muslims. westboro did 9/11

show titty milk den drip it into my urethra ty

Sad but true. Just look at Azure Revolution

It's like Mario Kart but the characters are all offensive stereotypes, and there's a bigger focus on combat. I call it "Race War".

Really I just wanna see that genre expanded into a bunch of settings.

Squad Tactics are my favorite tactics.

You should let George kNOw that as Carlton I'm in a position to scratch his bush if he'll scratch mine kapeesh

>No 40k Xcom game where you're an Inquisitor overseeing a Squad of Deathwatch marines.

I think there would be at least a mod for this sort of thing for Xcom. In fact I think there is but I aint sure.

HellO?

When a couple of GANONDORFS

NIGGERS!

It's an action game that allows you to dual wield weapons. See here how my character has a leg in the one hand and a BRERB in the other.

"Hello Square peeps. It's obvious that multiplayer games and especially online multiplayer games are bigger than ever. However there is a severe focus on competitive shooter games and nearly no attention given to a true co-op gameplay experience.

What I'm trying to say is STOP SITTING ON THE RIGHTS OF THE CONFLICT SERIES AND MAKE A NEW GAME ALREADY

"Okay so take Gitaroo Man, Jet Set Radio and Guilty Gear and put them all in a blender."

CACACACACOCK

Have you guys ever watched Austin Powers?

your GRANDCHILDREN are gonna need GRANDCHILDREN lawyers

>online shooter game
>a guy starts shooting

Videogames are mostly dogshit and I am here to show how it's done, I request that I and our studio have complete creative control related to everything within this product. There will be no corporate interference from your employees, we will not appeal to any social movement or the lowest common denominator, we will not curb our ambitions to petty trends. All I ask for is a modest budget and your up most faith in our team to make you a lot of money by appealing to the demand for a truly quality, and original product.

>objective: kick that man's butt

Well that's not very nice

See that guy over there? I think he's a cop.

...

...

Hey, just COOL it!

"Why don't u want me man"

The entire point of you, as a publisher, is to make money, correct?

Greed is good and I can feed that greed.

Well the sheep are getting tired of the same three IPs year after year; they're building up a tolerance to them like a person would be drugs or vanilla sex.

We need to up the ante to keep these suckers paying; we need to introduce them to video game equivalent of 'heroin' or 'simulated rape', respectfully.

Based on current sales figures and focus groups, it will be based on the most popular/profitable genre, feature tasteful and mostly cosmetic micro-transactions and be developed and optimized for the PS4, Xbox One and PC; that way it will be a level playing field. Exclusives only limit our total number of sales so why shoot ourselves in the foot like that?

Since the genre has already been established based on sales figures and focus groups, multiplayer is priority number one. Single player is important but multiplayer is what keeps them coming back and making micro-transaction purchases.

A good example would be Titanfall 2; it features a single player campaign that serves as not just as an interesting narrative and look into the IPs universe but also as a primer for multiplayer so the players aren't going in multiplayer blind, getting wrekt and then quit playing.

Multiplayer needs to be diverse in terms of classes, weapons, maps, etc. but not overly so, in which case the average player feels overwhelmed and quits playing.

As I mentioned before, multiplayer is priority number one but balance and anti-hack/cheat are vital aspects of that as well; if customers don't feel like they're in a fair fight, why would they continue to play and spend money?

I purpose we include a mandatory anti-hack/cheat client in addition to our DRM software; we'll get some negative feedback from this will come from the vocal minority so we can simply ignore it since the silent majority will be spending buying our product and micro-transactions.

Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to have a son?

R

remember no mans sky? How about, no womans sky?

You sell fish.
*spritz*

Its tough love.

Damn, man, its so hot out there the uh-huh girls just went U̸͘͠͞H͝͡͏H̡̨͟͝H̶̵̢̀͞H̢͘͠h̸̷̷͝͏

...

It's definitely an underutilized genre. I'm pretty determined to make my heist game, and actually have most of it on paper. I might make it with Unreal Engine 4 with the grid based plug-ins.

...

I think you know who you're talking to. I'm Carlton. Carlton Banks you're talking to. Carlton. It's Carlton. Carlton. Carlton. Carlton.

A child named Steven struggles to come to terms with the fact that he is Steven and goes through an existential crisis, becoming a Jew and then converting to Christianity.

It'd be a story based game with compelling choices.

>"so user whats your idea?"
*clears throat*
>"you ever fuck a giraffe? me neither. the game starts of on the outskirts of Detroit"

Something about women

...

Noh.

Lemme tell ya a little story.

Now this is a story all about this young boy that lived in Philly, right? And he was the prettiest little boy that you ever seen in your life. And right next to him lived this Filthy McRotten dude, and he wanted his body, right? So one day, the dude was about to get it on, right? The young boy said "No, you can be my boyfriend," so the nasty dude snatched off into his ass and came out his dick. And do you know why?

Because the nasty dude had a two-headed cock.

gentlemen, BEHOLD

This story's about you, isn't it Will?

...That's right, Uncle Phil.

Like how I always open a sentence when I talk;

heya

Hey! Don't TALK to my wife that way...

Could you please sit down?