What the fuck was his problem?

What are birds?

>Inb4 someone posts the bird that was cummed on

>chirp

...

I believe the scientific term is 'birb'.

>tfw Nintendo created an interesting character in a simple music player

I like how much time they spend on the little things nobody notices.

...

>birb

...

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me.

For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found an area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn. After you're good an horny, you get some bread.

My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that.

Once you are on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4ft.

You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird.

This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences.

I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's a satisfying, erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even taking it to other places in the city. I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing, waiting for them to land close to me.

Yeah well fuck you too.

youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7CE65E16B050C578

>ゴゴゴ

>Chirp
I think you did a lot of shit at that seed festival, buddy
youtube.com/watch?v=zEZL4ult9n0

Shit that you should be ashamed of

...

...

what the fuck is wrong with you

goddamn degenerate

Hello 911 emergency?
There's a handsome birb in my thread.

Oh, wait a second cancel that...
it's only me.

Nice try, demon. I won't be swayed that easily into being cursed to cum on birds.

...

wtf I hate Cred Forums now

...

Say it to kiki's face bitch

>dudeweedlmao.jpg

>Tfw grandpa used his lawnmower to mow over a bird that nested in the corner of our backyard.

...

...

>Shrike

So were dumbing birbs now?

post vidya bords

why the fuck did I watch the whole thing

...

...

what is pasta

Your crest looks dumb

...

...

I suddenly understand how there have been fatalities among falconers

thoughts?

Found the bird

He was a good foil to Sonic. Shame the series is dead because Zero Gravity was a 7/10 and Free Riders was LMAO MOTION CONTROLS

...

...

...

...

I got intense satisfaction from telling those rabbits to fuck off after they were done explaining the purchaseable mii plaza games to me.

man i wish i had that photo i have SOMEWHERE of someone who ejaculated on a sparrow

...

...

this place
it has changed.

Anyone got the screencap of the girl leaning over in public and letting birds poop all over her ass?

...

holy fucking shit

...

Get off my car, you fucking faggot.

>this entire post

Sunflowers?

>Waldorf this show is for the birds!
>yeah, I really egret showing up!

...

PILLS against my orders

comfy

i kinda wanna fuck that bird

>coulda made him look at least slightly not like sonic in the same way pretty much every non-hedgehog character does

>nope let's just make Sonic and put a beak on him

FUCK

even Wave manages to not look like a dA-era sanic OC

...

...

these got me good

godspeed internet

owls are fucking cool

youtube.com/watch?v=d_FEaFgJyfA

Did somebody ask for beautiful birbs?

>Chirp.
Holy shit dude!

...

Life is simply unfair.

...

...

am i predy human?

Go in, and go in, and go in like the US Marshall and his three daughters and we lose the vaccine.

Jokes on you Ive already fapped to that.

...

6/10 might pet

Magpies are great

...

...

youtube.com/watch?v=WA0tP-p7m40

>Anyone got the screencap of the girl leaning over in public and letting birds poop all over her ass?

What?

Goddamn normalfag

You're sick, user.

Bread is bad for birds.

what a strange puppet

...

no
no touch

B A V I
A
V
I

...

HE DABBIN
OOOOOOOOOOO BOY HE DABBIN

...

...

>ywn have a raptor bro

>Getting a little conure next month
Feels good man.

...

...

youtube.com/watch?v=cM98Vencdwo

What kind of dinosaur is that?

That's really fucking cute.

>birdposting is a thing

>OP making what the fuck was his problem threads

what the fuck was his problem?

...

eric
simply eric

>Shrikes are known for their habit of catching insects and small vertebrates and impaling their bodies on thorns, the spikes on barbed-wire fences or any available sharp point. This helps them to tear the flesh into smaller, more conveniently-sized fragments, and serves as a cache so that the shrike can return to the uneaten portions at a later time

neat

the fuck

This is why BANTI is the truth

...

...

>bird boots
>cat wanted on tv
>the little bird family photo
Source?

Why does it make sci-fi noises?

Birds are not that important.

>Is that some kind of a fetish or something?

...

youtube.com/watch?v=wfvEgWINUFc

Dinosaurs.

ayy lmao

...

...

>hey man whatchu doing?
>You know, just hanging out

thanks doc

I LOVE these pictures.

>you will never have a hawk's visual acuity

youtube.com/watch?v=McIg8fT4mck&feature=youtu.be&t=147

...

...

keep posting birbs

Here's a RARE one, user

...

...

Saving this for posterity.

please post deer

Bless this post

remove thyself

C

Can I trade it for this shiny Unlikely Bird?

Went through it frame by frame, it gets him right in the eye. No mercy.

youtube.com/watch?v=_uEfmQt34Nc

dumb tawnyfrogmouthposters

...

Birbs are my spirit animal

posting to /r/Cred Forums right now lmfao cant wait for my bros on there to get a load of this new spicy meme

No dice, sorry user. I need my deck to be tip-top.

...

...

damn

...

>this post

...

Birds keep forests from getting infested with ticks which carry diseases.

...

I learned so much. Thanks user.

...

I knew there was a reason to come to this thread.

>Chirp.
Savage.

>Engarde, I'll let you try my Wu Tang Sty-oh shit!

behold

you fuckers

>Well, What is it!

>not a single deer

...

...

Deer suck

So where are the pictures of birds with jizz on them? Not like I'm that interested haha.

...

i wonder what their talons smell like haha

wtf is this

crows are bretty smart

youtube.com/watch?v=QmJ3xuJrUcM

...

budgies are assholes

nice

I wish my last name was birdyboy

...

Beautiful

...

hey fags

God, I would fill Wave with my semen until she exploded.

*Kino

Anyone play Hatoful Boyfriend? It's a weeb VN where you date birds

...

>saving a repost. what a fucking pleb

...

...

So are you gonna post more?

so smart.
this smart crow understands water displacement
youtube.com/watch?v=ZerUbHmuY04

>tfw want to make a bird fursona but crows are too edgy despite gif related, other birds are too attention-whorey, and a good birb fursuit would be too hard to design and manufacture anyway

*sigh*

...

haha dead or alive

wow fucking calm down

...

>Ahh! Serendiptious salutations to our simpler siblings! We, the Pkunk always knew we would one day be reunited with our terrific terran kin! Hip hip hoorah!

owls are so cute

dunno but here is a bird who likes birds

holy shit its been so long since I have seen this pasta

10/10 user.

t. bird

Target's selling these as apart of their Fall stuff
I got two

>Waiter, there's a bat in my gamerfuel thread.

Daww.

youtube.com/watch?v=jWxIOdt-V8Y
What games have birds that fuck shit up
far cry 3 cassowaries were slightly less dangerous then in real life, so that was pretty good
but some birds can be fucking scary and no games show that off

now post the webm of a hummingbird literally pecking the brains out of a baby bird

BACK THE FUCK OFF

Those are cute.

HORRIFYING

you dont scare me

you cant stop me (any more than i have already been stopped)

>Birds are awful creatures

Someone should post that webm with the woodpecker eating some other small birds brains.

>tfw went through the exact same thought process described in the post
Fuck

That's a woodpecker.

im always tempted to buy stupid cute stuff like this but then remember that I have nowhere to really put it on display in my apartment, and that it doesn't really do anything to enrich my life or otherwise make me happy anyway (i.e. they are not big enough to snuggle)

I hope you didn't get the one with the fucking moustache.
Fuck those funny "ironic" moustaches in the ass.
If you're one of those die-hard epic memesters that got em tattood on your finger feel free to never talk to me ever again.

I'm sorry if i was rude, but these things make me upset.

no

...

>attention-whorey

Just do what you want. If you don't make a nuisance out of yourself nobody will hate you.

It actually goes into DEEPEST LORE territory. The final route is wild and connects everything together and turns into a mystery game.

It's surprisingly great.

don't kink-shame

...

>Just do what you want
>nobody will hate you.
do NOT lie to me

youtube.com/watch?v=GAgsPUrCV4A

>>tfw want to make a fursona

Neck yourself, my man.

Shame-shaming is the worst kind of recursive shaming

I'm trying

Did you purposefully ignore the "if you don't make a nuisance out of yourself" part?

youtube.com/watch?v=W4oEM0W6mhM

wtf?

Thats not so bad, I hold no care for squirrels. I didnt like seeing that pigeonbro fight for his life.

>pigeonbro
>shits on everything
>"bro"

best thread on Cred Forums

Herons are the raptor's will imposed upon the planet from beyond the grave. They are a living avatar of precise and unbelievable destruction upon all, those who fall like chaff before the scythe. We know not the true existence of the apex predator, for the heron yet stalks our fish ponds.

Magpies are the perfect mascot for Collingwood, both are scummy fucks who won't do shit when you're face to face but will attack you when your back is turned.

youtube.com/watch?v=3btjAslx-OY

...

...

This reminds me of when 4ch was simpler. Good work.

user, I...

They were only 5 bucks, so I was like, eh, what the heck.

>tfw i have one of these
best animal ever

shoulda got the comfy scarf ones

does the cat ever attack the birbs

hell man. Compared to the hummingbird it looks like his motions are frozen in time.

Wow the HD remaster of Turok is pretty good.

...

Don't worry the animals being consumed won't suffer through the pain of being digested by stomach acids, more than likely they'll be crushed by the gizzard.

does this count as a bird?

HERE COMES THE SNOW

totally buying one of em for my mother, and the scarf wearing owl for me

I'm tempted to get another one.
I actually have some Christmas themed ones in a box somewhere from last year.

Nah, not really. Just sniff them.

I had that as my desktop background for the longest time

Real talk what are some of the comfiest bird documentaries/videos out there?

Planning on getting high and just watching them DUDE WEED LAMO

yeah when i first watched it i thought that it was faked with the hummingbird then when the guy's eyes moved i was like holy shit

I know exactly what you're talking about.

...

this is new to me, I like it

...

...

...

Cumming on birbs is normal.

more likely they'd suffocate first, right?

>that ending

...

Who cares? They're just a bunch of bugs.

birds are important. they work hard for their money.

post it

post the freaky looking red bird that looked like a villain

that natural world documentary where the guy goes and lives with turkeys

I wonder what it feels like to get your brain eaten

Cute cat. Reminds me of my cat I had before I had to boot her outside because she kept pissing on everything but the litter box. I haven't seen her since ;_;

:3

...

Bloody hell, could ye shut the devil up fer alf a second, laddie?

its just a vulture, they literally just eat bones

Pretty sure you don't feel pain in your brain.
You might experience some crazy shit if vital parts for your consciounce are spared.

there are some excellent ones on crow intelligence

whats wrong with that bird

pssh

That's not a fucking bird you jackass.

...

Post more of cat

I have one of these birbs.

birbs are quite cheeky

...

...

its been forever since I've seen that fucking image, I wish i still had it.

>experiment six
Wow I didn't know birds liked ecelebs and letsplays

...

Birds are for gays.
Dinosaurs are in right now.

You're a fucking furry and you're worried about what people think of you? You're already a freak man, either commit or cease being so weird.

Where are the bearded vultures?

It's yours my friend

...

scientists have turned dinosaurs into gay birds, though

Yo this a savage bird thread?

rate his form.

birds and hippos have a symbiotic relationship, you dense motherfucker

nothing just a fellow bird admirer

...

That's one really old bird

...

I've had whiskeyjacks come into my cabin before and take my my dogs food while she just watched and whined.

>mfw this was filmed in my hometown
>I even recognize a few locations

...

DaCunt: the fighter nobody asked for but everybody loved

Here, my man

After 10 years of no sex even these birds fucking gives me a boner. Sad life.

...

My sister just bought two of those the other day.

zero out of ten couldnt even gulp in less then 3 tries

>that character that starts as an enemy of the main character but ends up joining him against a bigger evil

...

That's the spice

Just make one a pigeon.

Is this Karin Kanzuki?

vine.co/v/hVrXYYQIKwP

>dudeseedlmao.jpg

I faped to this.

...

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
The scientific conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say "Cah", none could say "Truck."

...

...

...

So they put a snake next to a bird to watch it kick it to death. Some fucking people man.

Simply Majestic.

I honestly liked that about Jet when it comes to being one of Sonic's rivals.
He wasn't a bonehead like Knuckles, a edgemaster like Shadow, or a sperg like Blaze, he was Sonic but even more of a dick and I think that kinda just seems ideal for a character who is supposed to be Sonic's rival.

Dinosaurs are so 2010, dude. In 2016 it's all about the realization that birds are modern dinosaurs and therefore even cooler.

he looked very cutie so imma say 3/10

Given that there was a snake pov camera, I'm guessing it was a fake snake.

Spotted the bird, go shit on a car avian

I love peeps.
Peeps is my nickname for small birds, usually baby chickens.

i smiled

Not to mention the string attached to it

...

...

...

...

WHAT IS LOVE?

where is this bird from?

Movie?

My mascot for all the stuff I write/make is a baby chick name Penny.

...

Stuart Little 2
It's obviously shit.

I understood that reference

Considering this is like from 2005, the CG isn't bad

Oh yeah.
I remember it, it was shit.
Cute birb tho.

...

LMAO

Looked like wonderpets Ming-ming at first, but now I think it's from Stuart little
This reminds me I once had a dream about grown up wonderpets getting the band back together to fight animal crime

...

...

I would.

v i d e o g a m e s

This is sewious!

This one's less cute when you realize he's trying to fuck the tennis ball

BANTI

i can't wait to see this every day for the next month

fine fag here

THIS
IS
SEWIOUS

...

Did you come up with this? If so then 10/10. seriously. I chuckled.

It was totally unnecessary. And odd, fucking James Woods as a falcon.

>when meat kicks in
Fucking satanic spawn.

damn. birds are crazy

>gf proclaims to love animals
>doesn't really like birds
Hypocrite. Her grandma has a peafowl farm too, which is unfair as fuck because I'd love to hang out with peacocks all day.

Cred Forums - videogames

>I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire

That's pretty fuckin' cute, user

Imagine that little slut canary having her cloaca split in half by those falcon talons during foreplay

I see clipping

Noice.

Rabbits are superior
Birds a shit

whyboner

im pretty sure cockatoos are just martians

Thanks

>Bird stomps snake.
>Cred Forums celebrates.
>Nigger stomps whitey.
>Cred Forums goes through 7 days and 7 nights of intense anal annihilation.

Bird thread?

Goddamn.

...

haha

...

...

>90% of these replies

All these fucking newfags holy shit kill me

>Fat birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that.
>At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird.
everyday we stray further from god

>Bird = Glorious Aryan Master Race
>Snake = Disgusting Subhuman Niggers

So yeah, there'd be similar anal annihilation if a snake stomped a bird. Or similar celebration if whitey stomped nigger.

Eyyo! i got a parrot that looks just like that.

Isn't it crazy we live in universe where basically 99% of living things HAVE to harm other things to survive?

No, but this does.

That's just how energy flows most efficiently.

Maybe someone designed it that way so we'd question morality.

Or maybe it's just easier to make energy flows easier.

In conclusion: Fuck begans.

>tfw no more terror birds.

...

someone post the webm of the woodpecker raiding the wooden box nest

Life tip: You shouldnt feed birds bread.

It's bad for them.

Shut up Tizoc.

>Uncle found a bird pushed out of its nest
>Bought a cage for it and worms for food
>Did all research to take care of it until it was good to fly on its own
>Wake up one morning and it was just dead

bread isn't really good for anything.

well in that case...

Even though there are some crazy ass birds, overall speaking Birds are probably the most gentle and chill kind of animal, right?

Except having the perfect texture for food.

Probably internal bleeding. Nothing he could do at that point but make it comfortable. He did the right thing.

...

"gentle and chill" to people, maybe

We had it for about a week though.
I read some where that mother birds somehow know if their babies have parasites and knock them out of the nest to prevent it from spreading, I assumed that's what happened.

...

I really wish Dodos were still alive

I would have loved to see one of those goofy bastards

>pfft those dummies going near the surface, that's how the birds getcha
>Me? Stay near the bottom and you'll be fin-FUCK

Where does the idea come that they're goofballs?

damn

ice age

Could be. Either way, it was out of your hands, sad as it is.

>tfw joined the thread too late

because they were built like a Kakapo but less cute and Kakapo are pretty goofy

This might be an odd choice but I'd love to fuck the Cornflakes Rooster. Just look at his eager pucked beak practically waiting for a nice hard cock on every single box of Cornflakes ever produced....... I know the Kelloggs guy invented circumcision so I bet this rooster isn't going to be expecting my floppy, stinky foreskin to enter his mouth.

I bet this arrogant prick spends every morning waking the other Kelloggs mascots. Coco the Monkey probably never gets to sleep because of his rooster chirping bullshit. Tony Tiger hasn't had 9 hours in years. I bet they'd support my cock finally shutting up the Rooster. I imagine that Tony would think it 'great' when my semen slowly fills the throat and intestines of the most arrogant, stupid bird to have ever existed on a box of cereal.

hnggggg just thinking of it makes me horny, makes me want to find the nearest bowl of cereal and cum on it.

Better start now

Early accounts of their behavior, though scientists now think their behavior was related to a complete lack of fear of humans thanks to the extreme isolation of their species.

Nah, gorillas is were it's at.

...

I know that feel
I know it all too well

also meant to post this btw

youtube.com/watch?v=vs0fy0Rs8PM

>aw yes aw yes rain god
>aw yes aw yes raingod
>aw yes aw yes raingod

...

I meant between Birds, Mammals, Fish, Reptiles, etc

good shit copynon

...

This. Why hate birbs

why is she skeeting from her pores

Why is it that every guy that owns a bird is also a giant nu male cuck?

>People have seen this pasta before
I'm too old. Free me.

R8 my conure's taste in waifus lads,

why aren't you

>I'm sorry if i was rude

You're cute, user.

You probably got stuck and had your conure beat the game for you

ya fucking casual

your conure thinks you're a weeaboo

he won't even look at the tripe you bought

why is it that every guy who posts on Cred Forums can't go two seconds without using the latest /r/eddit buzzwords

#BAVI

Does Falco have a penis or a cloaca?

...

> filthy
> gangbang and bukkake
Pick both

Nice try numale

fun fact: Research out of New Zealand has demonstrated that pigeons can read written words and distinguish them from random jumbles of characters.

youtube.com/watch?v=9Td-S0fTIGY

DONT DO THIS IT CREATES MUSTARD GAS

How did they film this? Particularly the underwater shot. Wild documentaries are off the rails.

>that gay ass watermark

Insurmountable proof that the eye can't see 60 flaps per second.

RIDAAAAAAAAAAAH
KICK!!

>tfw no qt princess to study birds with

H-HE'S FAST!

What if that user is your sister?

uhh, thanks

I never really got the whole numale thing
whenever people give me examples i just see slightly more attractive neckbeards that haven't given up yet on a social life

...

...

>ornithologist
>named Vogel ("bird")
>mfw

Where is the female from the picture from?

None of us have cats.

Ayane from Dead or Alive

...

Rate my birb

I have two conures as well

+1 birb

>bird thread almost hits bump limit

I fucking love Cred Forums so much.

...

...

impressive

Dinobot

...

>and if they're lucky, even witness them copulating

And green ranger.

Birds are rad.

OH HELLO THERE

...

Holy shit baby birds are the stuff of nightmares.

This is why I still come to this shitty site. Thank you Anonymous.

...

I love this fucking board

cute/10

...

Of course you do, Redditor.

This thread makes me want a birb of my own, Cred Forums.

he's a friend of this cunt

youtube.com/watch?v=XM8aBESf8EI

THANK YOU MODS

...

NOOT NOOT

lol so Dan Simmons didn't just make this shit up

>mfw I get to read this thread before it 404'd

...

this video is gold

I love their poofy legs

...

KOT

Look at this elegant motherfucker.

how pro is your bord Cred Forums?

...

>the second goose fucking knew he was chasing the first one into a car lane
Geese are such goddamn assholes.

...

>At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust.
this is where my sides are gone

he has seen some shit

sauce?

...

Not gonna lie, I'd fuck that canary.

holy shit, kill urself my man.

>bird fursona

>fur

>Though I take flight on wings pure as snow, these eyes cannot escape the blood that stains my soul.

You could always do a peacock since you have a dick the size of a pea.

say that to my beak fucker not online see what happens

Mother nature is a cruel bitch.

>everyday we stray further from god
and closer to enlightenment

copypasta

...

Twat.

...

I remember an user responded to this video saying "I would just try smash the box to get the food, this bird is pretty stupid". Does anyone have the screenshots of the thread? Then went on to say things like "well at least I can go to college" as a defense for why hes smarter than a bird.

Was he already dead at least? Fuckin' stoners.

i heard that some high budget docs have small 360 cameras that record 24/7 in 8k or some shit. Could be bull but that's just what i was told.

Fucking pixar.

They probably spend a few weeks watching where the hawks catch fish and then plant a camera and wait for a few weeks more for one shot.

A lot of these camera crews are also on limited length expeditions though so a lot of them might not catch the footage they want so they settle for other things to fill in the air time.

I just want to eat one. How fucking delicious must they have been if they got eaten to extinction?

They died out of starvation because of human interference in the habitat.