Why are Quarians so hot?

krogan ≥ turian >>>>> quarian > asari

I hope they produce pheromones that makes their stink smell nice to humans.

>krogan and turian
ewwww

exactly

>suit rats
>hot

kekerino

>not liking krogans and turians
what's it like having the worst taste possible

they have superior taste in textile patterns

What the fuck? What sick sorcery is this?

>Asari
>hot

no

I bet you like the blue squid hair girls you gay nigger

...

I think it's the masks, mostly.

Today I will remind them

...

They're a species that wears latex suits and gas masks their entire lives. UNF.

Dem child bearing hips is why...for me, atleast.
I wonder what they look like underneath their masks...

All aliens are gross you degenerate.

>concealed faces leave a lot to the imagination
They used to.

Who would possibly want that?

They should have left the GettyImages watermark there.

AVERT YEE GAZE

...

No qy Quarian gf in Andromeda, no buy

They aren't you sick fuck.

I mean have you seen their face?!??

This

It's a special kind of hell, isn't it?

>that broken-ass back
lmao what's it like jerking off to garbage-tier porn

I wouldn't know. But I hear you're something of an expert on the matter.

Why settle for a quarian waifu when you can have this?

>I really care about fictional alien anatomy
nerd

'Cuz you a gay virgin.

kek

I wonder if we can lead her to an unfortunate accident.

>not wanting your porn to be as anatomically correct as possible unless it's a character you can apply toon physics to
I knew Cred Forums was pleb, but god damn.

I was kinda mad then Liara secretly used her abilities in the end to get Shepard's child, bitch just can't take no for an answer.

>tfw you remember you will never explore the galaxy

I could be on my deathbed a hundred years from now and I'll still be complaining to my robo grandkids about this.

>Virgin
What does that mean?

I love how they really put some effort to it

Dude...what the fuck is wrong with you?

...

>he doesn't like the BBC

>you will never have the funds needed to commission a life size version of this

Every single time I see those 1:1 scale models of different vidya women, all I can think about is the slippery slope of bad purchases.

If that's the best Bioware can do waifu-wise there's no reason to even play their shit anymore.

That butt crack is just screaming for hot glue.

D-do they still make these?

That's a lot of...detail

It is actually on sale right now on the bioware store. $60.

...

Nice thanks user

Every play through I'd Dump Miranda for Talli.
Talli is best girl, not that it matters in the end seeing as Shepherd is dead

Why are you quoting random facts?

But Shepard is alive if you play correctly.

Shepard only dies if you play it wrong.

Somehow there's still not enough qt tali in this thread

They remind me of Muslims I guess OP has a Muslim fetish.

>yfw cute quarian
>no handsome krogan bf to sit on your face

How are Quarians like mudslimes? Do they torture animals and pour acid on their women's faces?

Can a human can knock up a quarian?

I don't know about everyone else, but digitigrade legs always get my dick hard.

It's the accents, all the quarians in the games are voiced by arabs or something. Also they dress up in a similar way only sci-fi.

I guess the hood is kind of niqab-esque.

This is physically impossible by the way, it's a nice picture but the artist needs to learn the basics first.

You son of a bitch. Now you've ruined that picture for me.

You'll pay for this.

...

But her accent is clearly Eastern European.

She identifies as male.

>meme arrows are for quoting

look at this redditor

wut?

...

Well if she's banging another Asari, one of them has to.

So will bioware finally say fuck it and just switch to an all female cast?

Is it the suit or does the original model have smaller waist/bigger hips?

Canonically 100% identical to humans.

>people actually believe this
Bosh'tets,when will they learn?

APOLOGIZE

>"Isn't it crazy how are ancestors try to genocide each other?"
>"Geth do not age, I was among those who ruthlessly killed civilians 200 years ago."

It looks like the lighting on the second suit makes it look different, but they seem to have the same ratio.

> drew the left hip on model
> drew the right hip like a bent straw

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS

JUST WHYYYYYYYY

>straw
deepest lore tbqh

>Finish ME2
>Can call Tali up on the intercom
>You just get shitty animations to look at
I can't wait to play ME3 and embrace universal disappointment and anger.
>You won't ever get to have kids with Tali
This pain.
This is pain.

There, I fixed it.

>tfw no qt quarian gf.

What? You mean you still haven't....

Don't go there. For your own sake.

Liara secretly mind rapes you instead so she can have your kid.

If tali is your romance, you get a short love scene

It's such a fucking cop-out. Judging by how the rest of the species in the galaxy work, they should look closer to turians than anyone.

>tfw you will never get cucked by Garrus

Thank you, that's infinitely better. Not even kidding, I don't even care if it's MSPaint, it's still better in every possible way.

im more of a
turian ≥ quarian ≥ krogan >>>>>>>>>>>> asari
tbqh

I must, I must.
I could always just steal the kid back.
I'd say it's important for Shepard to continue his line genetically so it's unfortunate that Tali can't provide in that sector.
But, who gives a fuck.
>Reading his Shadow Broker dossier
>Garrus will never git gud while Shepard is around.
Tragic.
But when you put it like that, hilarious.

>Why are Asari so hot?
fix'd
/thread

>tfw only porn shows them like this

Asari a shit.

Literally just women with tentacles for hair.

>tfw you've only ever played ME1 and never had to suffer the crushing disappointment of the following games

ME2 is pretty good tho, you barely know anything about the characters without playing it too.

with that mouth her deep throat game would be on the chain tho

It literally isn't.

Play ME2 and Let Shepherd and everyone die on the final mission, it's my canon ending.

Superior

Who cares about deep throating when you've got that tongue to work with?

>Tali's scream if she gets killed by the swarm

>You'll never be a 1 man army super soldier having a picnic on the mound of dead geth on her planet.
It isn't fair.

Human females in skintight suits.
The real question to ask is why are Turians so hot?

Shit.

said the man who's never had a deep throat

>Bioware make a qt Turian girl who is the best character of her DLC
>Kill her off in a nonsensical manner

REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>reptile humans in bulky suits
Why are Hanar so hot?

The voice actress has said she aimed for the voice to sound like Roma.

They're hot because they mind-rape everything around them regardless of species to perceive them as such.

But that's wrong and makes no sense.

How do you change your appearance to millions of people over TVs or in books? What about the Asari smut sign outside one of the clubs in Mass Effect 1?

Ashley is the WORST GIRL
you know I'm right

Delete this.

I've had it done a few times, I just don't get the appeal compared to tongue. Girl with a good tongue can get you where it feels really good, deep throat looks hot but doesn't do much for feeling.

I chose Kaidan over Ashley because she was religious. There is no room for faith in the euphoric future.

...

>Heretic ever getting close to something so pure and innocent
Never.

What? That's from the third game? Never heard of it.

>tfw saving Ashley in the first game so you can shoot her in ME3
She doesn't deserve an honorable death.

Rev up those edits boys

Did you miss the convo where a couple of guys from different races are talking about asari, and each says that they look just like their species?

That doesn't answer his question.

so, how does that work with static images?

Cause i love how the female quarians suits hug thier body, plus i like the masks since thats become a recent thing for me

I'm still mad about this. What a stupid idea to turn the AI of a space ship into a waifu, she looks absolutely fucking retarded and nothing about her existence makes sense. Seeing her get revealed for the first time made me burst out in laughter, then you had to watch the awkward scenes where Joker tries to fuck the "hot" space ship robot which apparently has a vagina.

Mass Effect 3 was so fucking awful, holy shit, there is literally no way they can fix the franchise.

And it still makes no sense.

>tfw no turbo slut gf wearing a protective mask

Yes, bants from drinking buddies sure is a legitimate source of information.

I guess a photograph would show their actual real appearance since a camera doesn't have a preference over beauty.

The only way I could possibly get off with a girl during sex any more is if she wore a skin tight full body latex suit and a mask.

It hides every imperfection and makes every girl flawless.

>Being mad about the best waifu in the game

>that time when she wants to drug Joker
She's a bit scary too.

Pic not related I assume?

I bought this lithograph on Bioware's website when it was released for $40. I sold it three months later on Ebay for $400. I shit you not.

Trolling aside, that "hair" is made out of metal or something, right? Ouch.

2D hasn't made you autistic, has it?

She can apparently soften and harden everything on her body at will. Her hair can become more hair-like. They never show this because that would mean putting effort in their game and it's way too improbable for Mass Effect, but that's how she works.

The idea that this mechanical body was treated the same way a Terminator was with an artificial skin and hair on top is fucking laughable

>Hair is literally shaped into the metal, meaning anybody who even vaguely recognises that hair style will have the bot shot on sight
>Has bizarre looking heels built in as well, further limiting the disguise factor of the body

It's just a shit design in general and made purely for fap material.

I never thought Tali was hot. The gypsy thing and weird pseudo-Russian accent wasn't a turn on. Plus, their suits must smell like shit underneath and their feet and hands look disgusting. The ass and hips are nice, but Miranda has got them and some big tits.

>Miranda
>Good looking

This along with Ashley getting hotter than Miranda (which is a character meant to be overly hot) makes the game seem bland.

Tali has a fucking mask on. And her picture is retarded because no way a quarian would look like that. Miranda is hot, dude. Stop the charade to protect your little Tali.

Miranda isn't hot, she's designed to be perfect yet has an absolute butterface and buckteeth.

At least with Tali it's like a bag on head situation where you can imagine something good looking.

>Miranda is hot, dude
How square do you like those jaws bud.
I feel bad for the chick she's modeled after. Same for Chobot. Bioware can't model after real people for shit. Even Liara had some model issues in ME1.

Tali has horsefeet, fellas. Fucking a faun from Narnia isn't exactly a turn on when you have Miranda. Sure, buckteeth and all, but she's got a sexier body and won't stink like feces after taking her suit off.

gay man coming in to tell you she's an ugly mannish whore

at least tali resembles a woman

>he doesn't want to fuck a beautiful narnian faun, but an ugly slut with buckteeth
can't make this shit up

horses dont have cloven hooves user

>not liking digitigrade legs
lmaoing @ your life

Because a permanent mask indicates the potential existence of a mute button.

I for one welcome our new fembot overlords

This is true. And actually now that I think about it Fauns are half goat anyway.

edi makes perfect sense. the robo body she got was designed for espionage and infiltration, it makes perfect sense that it would be anatomically correct in case it had to fuck its way to getting whatever info or target it was after. and being an actual ai, why would edi not take the opportunity to commandeer a body for herself?

...

>he doesn't want to fuck a girl because she has 3 big toes
Are you retarded in some manner?

If Miranda was engineered to be male (MirMANda) I imagine his jaw would be nightmarish.

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Ashley is BEST GIRL

youtu.be/bIzzCIQAm7Y

They have mind control powers, dude. They probably don't even look like blue human females with funky ridges where their hair should be, that's just how the players perceive them because we're all humans (yes, even the "whatever-kins").

>TV
>Books
>The sign outside Flux in Mass Effect 1

The mind control shit is drivel.

The Asari are actually amorphous blobs. They don't reproduce anything like their victims believe. Their slime core splits and a small section forms and egg, that egg is deposited in their partner to mature.

The partner never remembers being the mother of an Asari blob.

...

What is this?

>tfw people always equate MMMWHATCHUSAY with Filthy Frank
>Whenever I hear it I always remember the Halo 4 stream Cred Forums watched with coke ads everywhere

I will never 4get

Anime characters look Japanese!

Ashley a hot

I will never understand how they managed to make Yvonne Strahovski ugly.

This joke has cobwebs over it.

they thought this stupid sexy robot idea was so good they did it AGAIN in SW TOR Knights of the fallen

How do you know they aren't a fractal basilisk that can be perceived through all visual media, including print?

Post more sexy robots.... as uh... research into biowares downfall... yeah.... thats it... research.

>played ME1 last week
>it was good in almost every way possible
>play ME2 right now
>only good things are Vanguard and Mordin
>mfw I know that with every step I take I am closer to playing ME3

>look up on Wikipedia

Thanks for the read, was interesting

>Shepard's pose in the background

EDI, I'm SPECTRE.

>play ME2
>mfw amount of fucking DLCs
DLCs are truly blight upon the industry.

Oh for fucks sake

here's fun trivia. this piece of dialogue was written and in TOR about half a year before YOU'RE A BIG GUY scene in dark knight returns.

and I forget the image like an idiot

>Romanced Liara in ME1
>See her in ME2
>Personality completely changed
>Tali becomes top tier waifu material

Literally fucking me. I don't want to go back on Liara, but man, she's not making it easy for me.

youtube.com/watch?v=Nw4YfxlGD_Y
We need to go deeper.

The uncanny valley effect. Most games that use the likeness of the actors tends to make them look weird just because of that.

Default male shep also has his moments in looking off and he was based off of a male model.

Quiet looks like if Stephanie Joosten got stung by bees on her face and her cheeks swelled up.

Brett Dalton looks like he's made of plastic in Until Dawn.

>Bioware can't model after real people for shit
Huh?

She was already ugly

maleshep always looks like a sex offender.

Mass Effect is a lame retooling of Star Control 2.

...

Now we know you didn't play the game.

They made her thighs thicker and boobs bigger. And that's fine.

I downloaded a mod that replaces the picture with one that isn't embarassing. I would still prefer her to look a little more exotic / alien but at least it's a an actual render and not a bullshit photoshop hackjob of a real photograph.

...

I always thought the light maps on the teeth in Mass Effect looked really weird.

No. Everyone and their mother has known that since the beginning.

Anyone have that image handy?

Any must have mods?

Which game?

...

Bitch gets better in lair of ze shadow borker.

They were statues from another cycle

So why were they made to look like collectors in the sequels in flashbacks?

This is supposedly what one of the art designers had in mind for her all the way back during the first game

By that logic every sci-fi book, game and movie is like Star Control.

Whoever made that pic needs to educate themselves, although it's probably just a troll since no one can be this illiterate.

And I still like them better with the helmet on.

Every single one of them follow the same exact premises, etc? Wow.

>an ancient evil awakens
>you're the hero
PLAGIARISM!

ME2

>broken-ass back
>not anatomically correct

user...

>ruthlessly killed civilians
>when the Quarians fired the first shot by trying to exterminate all Geth in their robo-panic
>The Geth were still cool with creators, even keeping their home planet tidy while they're in exile

Dey was good robots, dey din'do nuffin.

Yeah, I don't get people who go off on that, like they've never seen a sexy woman before.

>haha real humans cant possible bend their bodies
>i know because i'm fat and i cant see my own penis

That was the reason why I started not liking her. She went from a timid scientist to a Mary Sue.

What doth life?

>mfw my gf has the same bodytype

>Shepard, did you know what there is 78% chance that a human and quarian can create an off spring?
>I can't say that I did Tali. Why do you bring that up?
>she proceeds to jump on him

Jesus christ take her to a hospital her ligaments are fucked

Get that FPS counter mod that lets you fuck with the lighting and after effects so you can make it look less washed out
pharago.com/downloads.html

Then just go to the ME nexus and find shit you'd like.

You don't use 'etc' after one thing you retard

...

Shut up, nerd.

Please take a look
and

>some people have been paid with real life money to make this

>Tali has a really exotic voice so I think all Quarians sound like that
>In ME2 Quarians have a wide variety of accents from sounding German to American
>Only Tali sounds like she does
She sounds hot even for her races standards

If Asari can fug with all races, how does that work? Like, can they have a vag one moment then a giant dinosaur benis the next?

To be fair, that's if you've ignored both of them for two entire games.

They deserve love user, they deserve each other.

But not while I'm around.

all the asari have big blue cocks

Magic mindfucking bullshit.

They have a literal brainchild with you

after you give them multiple infections because of sex, of course they will.

>you will never take care of your sick quarian waifu after a long night of sex

For the same reason Muslim women are

>Ashley getting hotter

Walking in on the two for my first playthrough put the biggest fucking grin on my face

>Tali's ass with a shitty race of space gypsies
>Geth bros to play VR games for all eternity

Press button "Kill the Quarian". I won't even looked back.

Never played ME. Could you explain?

>I won't even looked back

Their immune systems have grown so weak from spending their lives in sterile environments that they have to wear envirosuits pretty much everywhere, and taking them off has a pretty decent chance of causing sickness

Look at this.
: D
Eyes and a mouth a clear human face.
But it's just some text, so how can it look like human. Does this text have mind control powers?
That must be it.

>tfw letting the space gypsies get destroyed even though I could have saved both sides
Tali killing herself afterwards was the icing on the cake.

...

If only all the geth were cute waifus

You have a hijab fetish

>He doesn't
pretty haram tbqh

to be fair, the Protheans Empire have a lot of species and the insect like Protheans were the alpha. Javik even tells you that. The Reapers has genetic material of many cycles even before the proteans, so it's logical they could resemble some species we will never saw before.

That's the best I could do, Bioware.

Yeah, kinda.
Id love a cute thicc geth waifu

>He doesn't
>Implying

...

OK good

>tfw no qt muslimah waifu

This. Turians associate the head ridges with themselves, humans notice the humanoid face and Salarians probably like the blue skin color.

>create a war that never shouldn't happen
>when the Reapers came they are nowhere to be seen
>using civilian ships for fighting
>using forbidden tech
>could colonize other planet they prefer to stay in space.

dumbest race, dumbest girl, dumbest war. The only smart thing they did was to create the Geth.

>tfw no 4 muslim waifus you all love equally.

Because they look like badly photoshopped istockphoto humand under their suits.

…What do you mean, "No, only Tali does"?

Don't do this to me my dood.

Why am i even alive

they couldn't come up with a original design for their own creation?

>this entire thread

youtube.com/watch?v=FLb9EIiSyG8

Evidently, as grainy as fuck as the video is, Cats see cat features in a human face. Same way we'll see or anthropomorphize human features (smiles, frowns, expressions with the eyes) in animals.

...

>not wanting to fuck a qt xeno
shaking my head to be honest family

Jesus fuck I wish you roleplaying 40k fags would stick to your containment board, or at least fester on Deviantart or something

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40Kids may be autistic, but at least they remind me of the better days of this board

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wew lad get a load of this newfag

If they wanted to make Tali human-like, id rather they just go with human-like instead of purple human

>yeah thats a fuck up on their part
>?
>didn't they try to avoid that?
>what forbidden tech? Reaper?
>think the reason is itd take too long colonize and purify the worlds ecosystem to make it hospitable and too long to get their immune systems back up to speed

I didn't know winona ryder was a quarian

> Downloaded education vid, "Human Courtship and Mating"
> Installed suit application, "Nerve-Stim Pro: Deluxe Edition"
> Installed suit application, "DatAss 3.0, Extra Wide With Wiggle"

>tfw no qt quarian gf.
>tfw no intercrural in some alley on the citadel.
>tfw will never see her shed the straps, fabrics and pouches before bed.
>never see her all-black smooth undersuit glisten in the dim light, clinging to her shapely form.
>never feel her body pressing against, her arms wrapping around you, holding you close.
You'll never get to use her emergency copulation port.

Just to suffer.
Who's to say we're really alive?

Because they are space elves.

Geth are just "magical constructs" in space! that became sapient and rebel against their masters.

I fapped to that romance scene more times than I can count.
Holy fucking shit, girls being on top is so fucking hot.

I just want a turian gf.

>that hard rocky texture against your smooth squishy skin
>dominant military personality
>very calm and intelligent about most matters

I don't even care if her vagina is a literal steel clamp, I'll find a way

Fuck you, cunt.
You and Mac have fucked up a potentially great series so badly you need to use Androgyna to reboot and distance yourself from it.
Fuck you.

Her personality during that whole questline where Aria is right 90% of the time turned me off from her.

I feel you senpai

>everyone and their mother = me sitting in my moms basement

Two can play at that game

No wonder muslim fags still rapes their ninja'd women.

Are you sandnigger ?

No user. Just no.

i think you mean best

Not that i mind, but what is this rebuttal to?

>Have Mass Effect Trilogy on PS3.
>Always play vidya on shit laptop.
How do you ever get comfortable playing a shooter with a controller?

>Tried starting up Mass Effect 1 last night and even the first mission was literally torture.

Ash a shit
SHIT

Post yfw you first saw that fucking photo

>always played console
>never cared about pc
Thats how.

...

>ME1 2 and 3 look nearly identical in the graphics department

How did they get away with this?

>mfw I'm the complete opposite

I can't stand using the KB+M and it even gives me massive hand cramp.

...

Not really, M1 has a more plastic look if im remembering right, and 3's got more detail to faces and shit, two I forget.

link clip? im one of the two people on this board that never bothered with ME2 or 3

wtf I just bought one now

They look nearly the same, and some character models are literally the same, same amount of polygons and everything, just with a higher texture resolution.

The Mass Effect series is some of the laziest shit ever, reused assets everywhere. It's especially evident in 3.

Yes and?

>shepard-sama are we kawaii-uguu?

They mention at some point that the Asary basically implant the idea that they look like your species in your mind.

If you see a picture of an Asari before coming in contact with one you will see what they really look like.

>1
Looks have a smooth plastic feel
>2
More face detail and a little shine
>3
Slightly more plastic than 1 but still looks better
Im basing off the image on a mobile so take that as you will

The simple little things desu.

I finished ME3 for the first time and the gameplay was a step up from ME2.

Too bad about everything else.

i WONDER WHAT SHES DOING TODAY

I hate how they brought back ammo after 1, i woulda rather a have had a >mash [button] for faster cool-down!

That image would be perfect

Yeah that sucked, the halfassed "heat sink" explanation was dumb too.

Apparently they were working on making a system where you could reload or wait for it to cool down but were too lazy to balance it.

...Are you retarded?

i think he is

would you want a qt.314 quarian with sleek hourglass figure, pear shape with buisness in the back, top heavy or a balance between all three?

...

Severely underrated

...

>not SNL

What would mass effect have been like if it had been developed by an eastern dev?

> Canadian company

> American USD prices

> ships from America for bullshit American shipping

Fuck Bioware, pass.

It wouldn't have been localized because fucking aliens is gross and problematic.

I love Talis voice.

Just bought one, first buyfag thing I have ever done

I really liked Tali until Sing-along mode

Are you by chance a sandnigger?

Geth still attacked every Quarian in sight in order to ensure nobody would try to destroy them. Billions died, it's ridiculous to assume they're entirely military casualties.

nigger WHAT sing along mode was so fucking cute holy shit

This. user above is a judgmental faggot.

Hey so I only just finished ME3 like last night, and I didn't think it was all that bad? I'm assuming it was different for people who didn't play with the citadel or extended cut DLC, right? Because aside from the ending being retarded I didn't think it was that bad of a game. Minus a few gameplay mechanics I didn't like. And they ruined sidequests. And the pacing was weird. And the controls were kinda floaty. Oh and that fucking good ninja beating you in a cutscene that was bullshit and then he gloats about it? Fuck that.

That being said I think I handwaived a ton of stuff that I didn't like because I liked the citadel DLC so much

...

>good
gook*

I mean to say gook.

Lol you opened it, you loser! I win! HAHA!

Killing him was the only good part of the ending.

I was so fucking angry.

Fuck the Quarians! The Geth are way better!

Renegade.

EVERY
FUCKING
TIME

Swear to fucking Christ, that is the only time in the series where I EVER choose the Renegade option.

Is it possible to get bored of Tali's ass?

Is she the best dancer?

ME3 had a lot of moments where I went renegade, despite being almost pure paragon in the previous 2.

>Shooting Udina
>Shooting Tim
>Shooting that bitch from the Citadel DLC

...

>trying to fuck her
>she says she will get meds to remove her suit temporary
>she never mentions anything again about it
>try to talk her multiple times but she only talk about the engines or whatever
>finish the game without fucking her
>tfw still virgin on mass effect

>tali will never give you a handjob with her spindly fingers.

I got gifted Mass Effect 1-3 with an ass load of DLC. Is 3 really that bad? Is it worth going through the series?

Isn't there that fan mod that makes the ending 20x better? Is it worth playing through? Sci-fi shit like this seems right up my road.

>liking the shittiest DLC in the game
poor soul

ME3 didn't happened
tali is not a slut like that

>ywn paint her facemask in your cum and whipe a smile face with it and then take a picture to post to the extranet
why am I still alive

If we're thinking of the same thing, there's a mod that moves the citadel DLC to play after you finish the main story. Citadel seems like a better sendoff to the franchise than the real ending anyway.

Its not as bad as it was because of the expanded endings but it really is such a fuckup that they have to abandon the canon story and start again with ME Andromeda.

MEHEM is the mod you're thinking of and all it goes is poorly draw a smiley face on the turd ending. It's a different kind of shit than the normal ending aimed at people who just wanted something happy instead of something good.

Oh wait, what? Please link, I was talking about the one that changes the ending cut scene to Joker coming to save you or something. Your mod sounds a fuck ton better, from what I understand the citidel DLC is likened to Blood and Wine of the witcher series.

Did you start it before the omega relay?

Despite all the complaints about the ending (and they're legitimate complaints) the series is overall top-notch and well worth playing if only for Tali and Garrus.

dont remember

>dancing
>slut

You've got issues, my fampai

That's the Mass Effect Happy Ending mod. Like said it's still a shitty ending, just a happy shitty ending.

This.
Who /teamdextro/ here?
did you romance either of them or let them get together?

nexusmods.com/masseffect3/mods/2/?

Here you go senpai. I haven't actually used it, but if it does what it says it does, I think you'll be happy. I was certainly a lot fucking happier with the citadel ending than the real one

Javik literally said they were build for sex. He also said Asari were fucking retarded and Salarians were tasty.
Best boy.

I've briefly researched the game and I like Jack the most

sorry senpai

I used garrus and tali in every single mission I could. And I fugged tali because quarian pussy is just too good to give to garrus. I mean he's the best bro, but he'll never be as good as me.

Not mad, she is clearly the best human to romance.

Gifted guy here, I got another question: Am I pretty much forced to use the same team for each mission if I want to max level 2 characters, or do characters level up even if I don't use them.

I hate RPG's and games that do that shit.

Garrus and Tali or Wrex
Garrus and Mordin or Grunt
Garrus and Vega or Javik

You can use pretty much any character as soon as you recruit them and all characters level together.
the only exceptions are character specific missions (duh)

Don't worry bro. The characters all gain levels when you do, so if you never use them and suddenly you are forced to, all you have to do is allocate points. Or if you're a lazy cunt just hit auto-level up, since if you imported a character from 3 then you'll fucking max out every skill anyway

The only mission I didn't take Garrus on was the one to recruit Mordin, and that's because I thought he would get sick

>Humans are the worst characters.
Spot on.
I did like Zaeed though, that glorious bastard.

Same. I didn't want to risk it because he's such a cool dude

Should I replay ME1 and 2 and maybe 3? Does the first game still hold up today?
I have the first two games in my Steam library, I'm not sure if it's worth downloading.

>That feel when a krogan will never sit on your face

SUFFERING

Thanks familams, installing all 3 now.

Also note: They edit out a ton of dialogue that alludes to that DLC not being the real ending. So it actually feels like a real ending, and not just a shoehorned DLC clumsily tacked onto the real end.

Rage is a hell of an anesthetic.

Best girl

Combat is pretty dire.
And while I liked the Mako (I could make that thing dance) it will make or break if for you.

2 was the best. You're a fool.

The first two definitely still hold up son. and desu you might as well just get 3 over with if you're playing through the first two.

Actually, ME2 was originally going to feature a 'mixed' lore-friendly system where the thermal weapon slowly cooled itself in addition to being able to slap in fresh heatsinks. Mods can bring it back from the code, however a good number of DLC weapons were not programmed to do that.

>LET'S ACTIVATE SING-ALONG MODE

Real answer?
3 fingers and 2 big toes
Also masks and tight suits.
Overall they're really nice.

SING-ALONG MODE IS CUTE. CUTE!

So how come there are only a few million Quarians alive then? Assuming a population pre-war at least as large as humanity today, that is a lot of babies and women being slaughtered. But, nah, they let a few million out of billions survive so they are good goys according to Bioware.

It's the Citadel DLC that gives you a sense of closure that the original ending, even with the Extended Cut never gave. If ME3 had released with Citadel as part of the base game, the shitstorm would have been half of it.

That's what I figured. I'm glad I waited then.

>Nyreen wants to help civilians
>Arial says fuck that, leave them to die
>Arial was right

Watch the edge, buddy. Nyreen was the paragon option in the Omega dlc. Wish they had the option to let you choose who you wanted to jelp.

I either fugged Tali or fugged Garrus. Wish there had been a three-way relationship option with my dextro team.

I was so disappointed by 2 I've honestly never touched anything EA has been involved in since.

I just consider 1 to be a self-contained story. You trap the evil aliens a billion years travel away in deep space and are the baddest motherfucker in the galaxy, why did there even need to be anything else?

Actually, he does get sick and gives comment about it, but Mordinbro cures him once you reach the clinic.

I'd still choose aria even though I'm full paragon. I'm not gonna betray my loyalty to aria for bitch I just met 10 minutes ago

Been a long time since I've played these games.
How did Shepard fug Tali again? Aren't their immune systems really, really bad or something, and that if they come in contact with anything outside their suits they would die?

Or did he fug her anyway and not give a shit?

Why is this one more expensive and not nearly as detailed than the statue that's on sale with the ass crack?
biowarestore.com/tali-statue-deposit.html

I did no know that. that's a pretty cute little detail

I wish I had known

>Tali takes her vitamins and booster shots
>They fug
>She gets ill
>You keep fugging
>She gets used to it and doesn't get sick anymore
Best end.

Mordin sent them both heaptons of antibiotics and science handwaving so they can fug.

That and not giving a shit too.

>yfw she says it was all worth it

Guys, why did they have to fuck up mass effect? I was such a fan and dropped so much on these things...

youtu.be/NjUQMs0kVEI

Besides Aria being a criminal mastermind that would fuck you over if given a chance to further her own goal.

She loads up with antihistamines and immune system boosters the first time, and she gets a fever from it. Subsequent fuggins are handwaived away by saying that her immune system got used to sheperd's man meat so she doesn't get sick any more

I'm sorry bro. I can totally see why people would have been angry without the added stuff

Yeah but our goals helped each other out. And she knows that I'd just kill any assassins she'd send my way and I'd waltz over to omega and push her shit in

Grunt, Samara and Thane have comments too, but to listen the latter two, you must edit your save or whatever to have them during that mission.

Do you think Tali would die if sheswallowed Shepards semen?

There's a bunch of missed shit in ME2.

Like doesn't Legion have a ton of comments on story events, even though you're fucking your crew over if you don't get him at the very end of the game?

I think someone in this thread said that humans and quarians have howevermany percentage to conceive a child? So I don't think it would be life threatening once you her immune system used to hers.

I do recall that one conversation between that quarian and turian who got friendzoned but I can't remember the details. But they talked about the differences between humans and quarians

>It's the Citadel DLC that gives you a sense of closure
Did it really? I never touched ME3 or any bioware game again after the ending of ME3 and I only heard about some sing-along bullshit with tali and that the citadel dlc was in general dogshit.

I could only think of her as Lana from the Archer series in all the games. Canonically I prefer keeping Kaidan over here but they turn him into a massive faggot in 3

>yfw there's a mordin giving the sex talk to fshep about tali conversation in the files
>yfw you realize that tali was going to be bi and could be romanced by fshep
>yfw you'll never see that scene without mods

They have ZERO chance of conceiving.

>N7 towel for 6 bucks
ehh... sorta want, honestly.

Citadel DLC is fucking great. It doesn't take itself seriously, has a cheesy scifi plot, and is like the best kind of emotional pandering because it works just right. It's like a callback to the style and tone of the earlier games. Seriously bro it's the best part of ME3.

Cool video user thanks

The Citadel DLC is nothing but fanservice.
There's a plot about a clone version of Shepard running around, but that's really secondary to just having new character events.

It was pretty enjoyable, you even get Wrex as a squad member again.

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY.

I'm also considering becoming a buyfag, but for a different statue I found while looking at Tali statues.

My mistake

Thanks user. Just bought one.
Hopefully it helps with the pain

As much as I love Quarians I doubt anyone could live up to Tali

Actually, you can get plenty of those comments by doing the dead Reaper mission early as possible and doing side quests to 'pass the time', but you'll be sacrifying the abducted crew to listen that dialogue.

Bringing Legion to Tali's recruitment and loyalty missions is priceless.

Everyone has dialogue for pretty much everything in the game.
It's very likely that, earlier in development, you would have been able to get your crewmates in pretty much any order. That, however, was scrapped.

How does fanservice/pandering repair the ending and everything else wrong with ME3?

Best DLC I've ever played desu

Fun, cute, and great music

I can't believe it took me until the end of ME3 to find out that motherfucking martin sheen was the voice of the illusive man.

>yfw Cred Forums does a better job of promoting BW swag than EA.

Apparently it was cut because Tali's VA wasn't comfortable with the idea of voicing it.

>>>/reddit/

It doesn't. It's supposed to be played before the end. But the end of the DLC gives you the emotional closure you wanted from the real ending.

Why is Tali's ass so fat?

The ending is still irredeemable horseshit, I don't think anyone claimed otherwise.

But the Citidel DLC was the last content made for the trilogy, and it's obvious that the writers and VAs were having fun with it.
And there's a scene at the end that is a better note to end on than the actual ending.

Ah okay that makes sense.

Maybe I'll give the trilogy another chance when I don't have anything to play.

Why is it so fucking hard to make a decent looking male in Mass Effect 1. Holy shit, I like to self insert, and by God this is the most back ass backwards character creator next to the Bethesda games. What the shit, do you guys got any tips?

Because Mass Effect's main story ranged from average to bad all the way. People who stuck with ME were people enchanted by the characters and the universe it created. And Citadel DLC just does that, gives us a look to the common Citadel, full of small details of lore to fawn over, and hours of interaction with the characters we have loved for over 100 hours per playthrough.

I really fucking liked the joke they put in where the clone says "I should go" and the real shepard gets annoyed and asks if he really sounds like that. So many great little jokes

>That bit in Citadel where he gets way too caught up playing a claw machine

You can currently preorder a nearly two foot tall Tali statue for $330.

The gravity of space lets the fat accumulate more in the rear, or she just has a fat ass, I don't know.

Honestly?
I gave up and just used the default face

It's funny that there's more "here's a custom shep or femshep" than actual mods because the character creator is such dogshit

>The ending is still irredeemable horseshit
It really is, the original endings have scarred me for life when regarding this series and I cant look past them or forget them.
Ever.

>They have ZERO chance of conceiving.

then the ass would only be a foot off the ground. that would make it very uncomfortable to fug

So fucking dumb... Like why not? they made Kaidan a male option out of nowhere. Of course seeing what happens with Tali's face explains a lot.

Does anyone have that video of Bioware devs before ME3 was out, going on about the conundrum of reveling Tali's and say how they have to be respectful and tread carefully.

dang where at user?

>James and Liara arguing about biotics vs muscles
>The dialogue changes depending on Shepard's class

I'm still pissed at that shit. Just leave their faces hidden or make them actually alien looking. Hell even if their faces looked exactly like what you can barely see through the mask it woulda been better than the shit they pulled. Fuck.

It's not fat, it's tight and full of gluteus goodness. How other way she can bring down such a piece of man down like Shepard?

It's utter retarded. You can look for facecodes in the web, find someone similar to you and work from it?

Alternatively apply the Samuel L Jackson code and go Full Renegade.

Who was the worst character and why was it the edgy ninja fuck?

Because he was an edgy ninja fuck who seemed like someone at Bioware let their 10 year old son design a character.

>shepard we're stuck in here forever we're running out of air we're going to die!
>hm? What? oh right hey glyph get us out of here

>The Ninja
> Not I WIN AGAIN!

You can make some decent looking Shepard's.
Made one that looked like Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

A website called GamingHeads. They're the ones who made all those giant TF2 statues for Valve a few years back.

"We've had a good ride."

"The best."

If he didn't beat you in a cutscene I could overlook the edginess but he DID. And it was BULLSHIT. Especially since I was kicking his stupid ass before the cutscene hit

Also Chobot's character. No clue why they killed off Emily Wong to force some shitty gamer girl into the game.

I tried to self-insert but I just wound up making Data from Star Trek with brown hair

>>Like why not?
Two words.
Hamburger Hepler
Or whoever was taking writing advice from her.

What about her Battle tits?

Thessia. I can get writers giving the PC moments of retardation like having Thane killed to install him as a threat, but appearing, leaving a message, and then leaving a fucking gunship to do his job just shows him like a fucking overly cocky asshole.

Steak, Liara.

I made Barack Obama on accident once

we'll bang ok?

You have to fix Kai Leng. Every part of the game he appears in has to stay and you can't remove him. You have free reign otherwise.

How do you do it?

Buying reviews from IGN or Gamespot, I don't remember which. She is or used to be a writer for one of them back then.

SOLD fucking OUT.

I usually spend and hour or more on character creation but with Bioware I'm always default.

>Kick has ass in gameplay
>He summons an invincible gunship
>Shepard suddenly becomes a fucking quadriplegic in the cutscene
>"LOLOL U READ THIS, I WIN U MAD?"

Killing that fuck felt good.

Remove or re-write the extranet mail he send you and make it so he doesn't kick your ass in a cutscene. Like make it so he throws down a gook flash bomb or some shit and swipes the VI and bolts.

Thanks for reminding me that Emily Wong was killed of in an email...

His post-fight boasting is based on your performance in the fight. If you lose repeatedly or take a long time in the fight, he's the same as ever. With a middling performance he'll regard you as a decent opponent but still be arrogant. If you curbstomp him, he gets pissy and defensive, accusing you of cheating.

Honestly, just remove the ninja aesthetic and just have him be a hardass N7 operative to act as Shep's foil.

And remove the beating you in a cutscene shit. Have him fucked up but able to escape instead.

>The Gypsies
>Fucking gypsies in space suites. Almost as weak as the Geckonians, but lack intelligence. Pathetic as fuck, good at salvaging and hoarding shit. The Gypsies certainly tried their own FemBots, but it ended in disaster when their female population successfully suppressed fembots and nearly committed genocide against its male population. Gypsies now roam the galaxy on a flotilla of ships, conceiving only through test tubes and from female raids, suffering generations of virginity. Alpha males are kidnapped, forever ensuring weaker subsequent generations. A more worse fate than being confined to a space suite they say.

And in three posts, Cred Forums made a better character than bioware.

THey just didn't gave a shit with the feet, huh?

I just have the one Eric Prydz song play in the background every time he appears on screen and change nothing else

> 4 or 5 Years ago
> Super exited for ME3
> Love the first 2 games
> Loved the books as well
> Drew Karpyshyn is a pretty good writer
> New book comes out
> That's weird... None of this stuff makes an sense at all
> Written by William C. Dietz
> mfw

Literally 15 pages of mistakes listed.

docs.google.com/document/d/1XBpMF3ONlI308D9IGG8KICBHfWKU0sXh0ntukv-_cmo/edit?pli=1

No ninja aesthetic, make him a Novaguard, and allow us to properly fight him on Thessia 1v1 instead of making the gunship show up, and make him stupid OP in gameplay to defeat us. And for the battle on the Station, the key to defeat him relies on the use of the squadmates, so his power doesn't fluctuate and we win thanks to the power of the waifu we brought to the station.

I swear, if he had been a damn single overpowered novaguard, he'd be truly a frightening opponent instead of a ninja we can't take seriously.

>Choose green ending
>Have to leave mai waifu behind to live her days without me

Suffering. I know you survive in the red ending but that shit flies in the face of the Geth story so hard that I can never pick it.

Also it really bothers me that Garrus kept talking about fringes when it came to Turian Females and yet when we see one she's basically bald.

I'd pick the destroy ending a million times if it meant I could still be with my waifu. Love conquers all, user. And I'm getting that hot little quarian on my dick again if it's the last thing I ever do. If I have to hold a gun to a ton of engineer's heads and make them rebuild the mass relays I will. Because of tali's alien vagina.

I've never even really bought vidya merch before either.
I guess I did this time because I loved Tali.
just typing that out was pathetic, haha.kill me

I'm glad I never got that last one.
The ones by Drew were really good.
Glad Kahlee got in the game, I was expecting that autistic biotic girl to appear as well.

>choosing the backstabbing bitch that will kill you to save herself

Literally the best part of ME3 was Tali's romance

In ME1 my team was Tali and Wrex
In ME2&3 my team was Tali and Garrus. Garrus was just a fucking bro and Tali was my goal since ME1

Don't worry, I would do as well were not because I keep a certain level of normieness and shipping costs to south america are shit.

I'm totally getting one once I move off parent's. Last year of studying before I go full autist.

It literally was. No amount of dead beep boop robots are going to change that

Except sing-a-long mode

Does nobody remember that shit?

I did, and I thought it was cute

Your waifu has blinded you user.

sing along mode was cute as fuck

I just got Mass Effect 1 & 2 on steam. Even if my laptop is shit, KB&M is a million times better.

Wouldn't deafen be the more appropriate answer?

>my waifu is cute and quirky and isn't afraid to make herself seem like a dork
no user you are the one that's blind.

> Won't do gay shit
> Does this

youtu.be/nGnbEtube-g?t=1m14s

It would be if they hadn't hard coded in a 20% accuracy penalty

I always choose life over love when given the chance especially if its a personal sacrifice.

That shit decision at the end of Fable 2 was pretty easy for me to make too despite missing my dog who I cared about more than my crappy family or sister.

But the scene wasn't dorky

They thought that was romantic when they wrote that dogshit.
Maybe if you could bully her and call her a dork I would get the appeal. But the tone is completely different from what you are describing.

Granted, I WOULD have cringed if shepard also sang along. But he didn't so everything was fine.

I used to be all about sacrificing myself to the greater good but it's still a bit selfish, innit? Putting yourself up on the cross and playing the martyr? At least with the waifu route it's more honest about shit.

Any games where characters sing that isn't cringe as fuck?

youtu.be/823yuWz0lto

Tali is my waifu and I only got three seconds into that, Jesus fuck.

Bro they wrote it to be a cheesy soap opera moment. Whether you take that at face value or not is up to the viewer.

It is the campiest, dorkiest shit. There is a 0% chance the writers weren't aware of what they were doing when they wrote that.

Do you guys think we'll get an even sexier race in andromeda?

Yeah, that one.
Listen to it in Polish

But you have to take it seriously as shepard.

That took me out of it so much.

But the fact that you have to justify it with headcanon proves my point I think.

I know that pain. I kinda want to play ME again cuz I miss her character. I wish there was an alien girl out there somewhere like her

I hope Andromeda is good

>there are people who unironically like the fucking sing-a-long mode

I can't fucking believe it

Is this bioware games general from /vg/ spilling over? Is tumblr down? What the hell is wrong with you all?

Headcannon? Nigger what are you talking about? There is no fucking way the writers thought the sing along to a space soap opera would be serious

>First contact won't happen for a long time
>The first generation to have qt alien gfs will be born long after everyone in this thread is dead
JUST

No chance in hell, sexy alien babes are problematic.

Its being Directed by Mac Walters, one of the culprits behind the worst parts of Mass Effect 3 and 3.
I don't think there is much hope.

CRAWLING

Do we know of any new aliens in Andromeda?
The only thing I've heard through the grape vine is "an ancient evil awakens".

Your headcannon is that shepard also thought it was dorky
When he was sitting there being "enchanted" like he is a fucking disney princess.

...

Is it wrong to unironically like certain aspects about it?

I don't always kill myself when given the option, but when it's the needs of the many vs the needs of myself and muh waifu then I usually make the right decision even if it'd suck for me and those close to me.

I didn't say shepard also thought it was dorky. YOU said that. I said that *I* thought it was dorky. If anyone's bringing headcannon into this it's you senpai

Choices for Male Shep:
>Trailer Manasari.
>An ENTIRE tub of vaseline.
>An actual goblin.
>One of the developers.
>All the male characters. Every one.
>Kai Leng.

>this vid FTL jumped me into puberty

Holy shit I laughed so hard

I dunno. I also think it was because I put so much fucking time into this series. Like shep sacrificed his life once already, and spent years fixing everyone else's shit. I just thought it was time for shepard to have a happy ending for once.

>An ENTIRE tub of vaseline.
wow racist the hanar aren't that squishy

I chose the ending that brought back all those literally who's who died creating the spire, not that shitty maximum dosh choice.

The dog actually helped in gameplay and you interact with it regularly. Your sister dies like 2 seconds in and you can get a wife and child by dancing in the town square so it's hard to actually give a damn about either.

Hanar are too good for where Andromeda is going, my friend.

>I said that *I* thought it was dorky
Well good. Because you are certainly fucking important.

Who gives a shit? That is not the argument. We are all in agreement the scene was dorky. The point is that it isn't addressed in the game. You can't bully her. Shepard instantly reacts enchanted.
You see the disconnect here? You and Shepard are completely different about the situation. Might as well read a book then with that amount of user input.

So the end result is that if you romance Tali and play the citadel DLC your established Shepard suddenly turns into a huge fucking faggot. if she pulled out a strap-on and fucked you with it that would have been less gay than the sing-a-long mode

It is also the reason why Liara is infinitely better now. Citadel DLC killed that discussion forever.
Liara > dogshit > Tali

Because he embodied that kid at the playground that would always fucking quit the moment he was it when you played grounders.
>Nu-uh, that didn't count you cheated Shepard yeah well eat gunship I'm going home I didn't want to play anyway!

You had to mention kids.

I understand that thought process.

Honestly if Legion wasn't a top tier brobot I'd feel less bad about choosing red.

Instead though I had to honor his sacrifice and join him and Mordin in the we died being cool as shit club.

No need to sperg out son. Shepard has that same dead look on his face that he does for literally every other conversation. The disconnect is constant and in every game. Calm down.

Do you need help user? I mean- you can't be this insecure about your masculinity, right?