In this thread: we poorly describe games we've never played

In any dynasty warriors game you mindlessly hammer on an attack button to mow through crowds of seemingly brain dead enemies, who are of no actual threat, on a needlessly large battlefield. You complete some sort of mission objective that probably has to do with killing something so that you can move on to the next battlefield and attack more brain dread enemies.

Oh, and there's a story, I guess?

In Senran Kagura the main gameplay is watching big-breasted "ninjas" do lewd things. Sometimes you kill enemies as an unintended consequence of the primary gameplay.

>diablo crossed with the witcher 2

I have no idea how you'd come to say that, even as a troll.

vr000m

That's about right.

Pretty accurate actually.

but, I thought you said "poorly describe". are you sure you didn't copy that description from the back of the game's box? it's completely accurate

Trust a Soulsfag to miss the point of the thread entirely. Don't you have some more Youtube fanfiction to make?

>Trust a Soulsfag to miss the point of the thread entirely.
I didn't. I just don't care about the point. It's a small irrelevant post, so I don't see why you care.

>Don't you have some more Youtube fanfiction to make?
I don't care about lore or whatever.

you forgot about the story that is constantly up it's own ass. Even by Japanese standards.

In Monster Hunter, you must fight monsters with 10 million HP with a sword that deals 10 damage every five seconds. these monsters have attacks that kill you in a single hit and if you get hit you need to reset

these battles take multiple days in real time, and the monsters drop important items at a rate of .001%. finishing the game takes an entire human lifetime.

... or so I have gathered from reading Cred Forums

Feel the power of my... MAAAAAAAAGIC!

>Dark Souls

It's some kind of Gothic 1/2 ripoff that's "the hardest game ever made", and yet every casual "gamer" in existence has bought and beaten it.

In Super Mario 64 you jump on blocks and collect coins. In the end you "save" a princess. That's pretty much it.

...

Not far off.

Still love it though.

Only if you are cancer. They are actually really cool games. Don't give shit about the actual characters or the fanwank over them.

Pretty much spot-on.

Eh its not that bad. Its impossible to play solo. But playing online with a fucking ethernet cable plugged into my ps2, spending 30-40 mins with 3 other players taking down a Rathalos, made for probably the greatest gaming experience of my life.

>yet every casual "gamer" in existence has bought and beaten it.

If you look up guides, overlevel yourself or otherwise are aware of what you're doing, the game is extremely easy mechanically and never requires much in the way of technical skill as there are tons of mechanics that can trivialize most encounters.

Shin Megami Tensei is a JRPG where you play as a teenager trapped in some abstract hellscape and acquire demons which you level them up in order to fight against more demons. There's no plot and every fight follows the same formula where you must die and reload a couple hundred times to figure out an incredibly precise setup of demons, abilities and other stuff that will win you the fight only 50% of the time because even the correct setup is still vulnerable to un-negatable RNG mechanics. This is somehow considered some of the best game design in the genre.

>In this thread: we poorly describe games we've never played.

Well, the entire catalog is filled with that

Catherine is a puzzle game that you fap too. There's a real danger of turning into a sheep. After 3 levels you've probably encountered 90% of possible patterns and the only challenge is not to get yourself stuck

That's what I meant by Gothic 1/2 ripoff. From what I've seen, the combat is just as clunky (if not more so), and the AI looks even stupider.

Of course I'm not saying Dark Souls has the positive aspects of Gothic (the world, role-playing experience, story, etc.) because that'd be a big fat lie.

In Undertale, you play as some Chinese boy traveling through a cave so he can get back out or something. Your goal is to fight a sheep king who lords over the place and kills children in his spare time. His wife got tired of this and left eventually. There's also a flower that smack-talks you. The combat plays like an easy Touhou except the game makes you do weird bullshit in the middle of it.

Dwarf Fortress is a game that is actually mechanically more complex than life itself if you can allocate enough RAM to it.

You're supposed to make a castle in a mountain. It is impossible to do anything without an extensive starting guide because the gameplay is like minecraft if stepping in one of 8 directions had different multikey bindings.

At some point, probably due to goblins or demons, the game instantly goes DmD mode and you lose.

Stop cheating user, you are supposed to describe games you havent played

Final Fantasy VII is a turn-based RPG about a Goku wannabe with a huge sword and a girl with giant tits that punches dolphins or something. One of the characters dies from drowning in a fountain and it's pretty sad.

always have a good laugh when someone says Souls is a Gothic ripoff. what did they rip off, exactly? the roll button? I guess Star Wars Battlefront is a Gothic ripoff, you can roll in that game.

>Dark Souls has the positive aspects of Gothic (the world, role-playing experience, story, etc.) because that'd be a big fat lie.

I've not played Gothic, but Souls absolutely does this with utmost excellence and is bordering on being some of the best RPG experience I've had in my life. The fact that it's minimalist about this is a bonus, you don't listen to endless NPC dialog, instead the game gets to the point and makes everything in it unique and meaningful to explore.

>One of the characters dies from drowning in a fountain and it's pretty sad.

That's probably honestly more accurate than you realize, funnily enough.

how do I into 2hu

LINK
HE COME TO TOWN
HE COME TO SAVE
THE PRINCESS ZELDA

Spec Ops: The Line is an FPS that takes place in the middle east. The gameplay is basically like a subpar CoD. The game is held in high regard because it makes you do Nanking halfway through and then spends the other half of the game criticizing you for doing Nanking.

In Persona 4 there is no gameplay but at least you can give your harem the dick and spend time with Adachi

Now I may be wrong about Souls, but first of all, Gothic is a free-roam open world game with factions, a branching storyline, and varying subsequent playthroughs (character builds notwithstanding). To my knowledge, Dark Souls is mostly a linear, corridor-based game, with a single storyline and character-build-based gameplay, rather than a role-playing one.

The clunky combat and retarded AI, most of all.

In the Castlevania serie you're a party-pooper that like to kill that one slav and his friends in his house, every centuries. Also for some reason you have a "whip" that is in fact a rigid chain and you can use it like a spear.

DS ain't linear

Warframe is a game about robot ninjas with guns and swords. There is no endgame, but the gameplay centers around becoming more powerful. Good weapons are obtained by playing 8 hour long missions for a 1/fucktillion chance to drop a weapon part. Most people commit suicide at this point when they learn that you still have to wait 24 hours for the weapon to assemble. This process is generally regarded as so difficult that people will just pay other people hundreds of real dollars to do it for them.

Well then I stand corrected. The levels still looked cramped compared to Gothic's open world.

It's a hybrid. probably won't give someone who wants open world what they want or expect in that context. But it checks some boxes like no loading screens and interconnection of areas

In Witcher 3 you are exploring huge yet lifeless world of copy-past villages, grinding through swarms of braindead enemies by pressing one button in a fight and abusing one of your spells. Once in a while you get an interesting story but it happens so rarely that it is less time consuming just to watch them all on youtube than to actually play the game. This game could've been a great movie or a TV series but fuck sake the gameplay is so boring it feels like MMO rpg without players.

>Gothic is a free-roam open world game
>Dark Souls is mostly a linear, corridor-based game

It very frequently funnels you through corridors, but it's notable for being extremely nonlinear and allowing you to play through it in creative and unorthadox ways and orders, with most of the game being completely optional. Souls isn't open world, but this is to its advantage as you need to constantly search for ways to overcome obstacles, which would be much less interesting were it open enough that there was no need for this.

Souls has very little 'role playing' in the traditional sense of having tons and tons of NPC quests, dialog and dialog decision making. But what it does offer it does very creative and powerful things with. For instance, if you make a major decision or even do something by accident, the game autosaves over your old savefile (which you can't normally duplicate). So if you decide to betray some character because you believe you will benefit from that (and you really can in some cases), you have to have the balls to do it if you don't make the decision in based on impulse. It's in this way the the game's role-playing feels more authentic than most RPGs, you will absolutely want to commit yourself to the decisions you make, which solves a ton of "well, I should just reload and try to beat this making this decision instead/without using this item so I can save it for when I REALLY need it" issues.

I click on shit to make stuff happen

This is totally accurate to my experience. I played it for about a week and haven't touched it in days.

in xcom you lead an army of inbreds with downs syndrome to save the world through sheer attrition

So according to Cred Forums Team fortress 2 is a trade software used to convert currencies into virtual keys, that are then used to buy virtual metal, and then you can buy virtual hats. You then use these hats to dress 9 virtual dolls and make them look as cute as possible.
But apparently this software is only used by kids under 12 yo and bronies.
Also some people told me that there is an hidden menu that launch a 3d animation to showcase your hats to other users and you must click on their heads to kill them.