PSA: This is not a game

PSA: This is not a game

Why don't you guys play real video games like The Witcher,, Doom, New Vegas, and other shit?

Did you play it ?

why don't you suck a dick?

yeah and it sucks

you perverts will play anything with le thicccc xD memes

fucking cancer

it's not even a hot robot to be honest

>tfw no release with modtools
>twf want to import my old portal model

How could you play it if it's not a game?

>implying I don't

anyone has done something with the level editor yet?

Played it, disregarding the fanservice the game itself is kinda hard and I have no idea where I'm going because I'm an idiot

My mother's Dominican housekeeper has a body like Haydee, her uniform is conservative, obviously, but looks obscene simply due to her curves, hell she'd look lewd wearing anything the slightest bit form-fitting. I didn't grow up in the mansion mother is residing in, so the housekeeper, let's call her Carmen, led me to my room, hips swaying subtly. She told me she'd just turned it down, and did I need anything Sir?, I needed to turn her down onto the fucking bed and creampie her, but I said "No thank you" my dick almost rupturing through my pants.

oh wow you really caught me in my false logic you're so smart

excuse me, it's a shit game. happy now genius???

Game intriges me. Why does a robot have human legs?

Why can a robot drown? Why does a robot need a gas mask? Why does it float on its ass?

have sex

>excuse me, it's a shit game. happy now genius???

Then why didn't you say so, "not a game" makes it sound like That Dragon Cancer or some other exposition-simulator.

She's a cyborg

bend over

You're ignoring his statement cause you know it's just a rubbish smut game pandering to lonely pathetic Cred Forumsirgins

PSA: Suck my ass, I like it and it is a good challenging game

slow down there pal we barely knew eachother, at least go on a dinner first

Sure, it's not an amazing game, maybe it's got a lot of sexual tension. But that doesn't take away from it as a game OP. I personally don't care for this game but if people wanna talk about it, why the fuck does it matter?

>wahhh free advertisement

Who cares?

>You're ignoring his statement

What statement? It does look shitty, if that's what you mean, but it is still a game, not a collection

begging you to take a shower

It's a shit game with OK porn. You don't have to cry about it, you baby.

Someone sounds upset.

Did the game trigger you?

>not a collection

not a collection of cutscenes or other exposition (the journals etc in Gone Home, for example)

I was actually surprised how fun it was and it's sad people will disregard it simply because it was a buxom protagonist.

Everything is about fucking gender politics today we can't go 2 seconds without seeing a game with a thick girl and freak out over the quality of the game.

>XD
I guess it really triggered you that much

it's a meme game because it's literally pandering to this boards OMG THICCC themes

pretty pathetic if you ask me

>using the word triggered unironically

>>/tumblr/

maybe the devs just wanted to make a game with a fat player character

what's wrong with that?

Are you fat shaming the protagonist?

Wow, that's gross. I am offended and appalled at this post.

fat people are gross

I think they just went a little too overboard withe cheesecake
with the fully nude models of the MC on the ammo boxes and keys cards

also the game play was not rally good either

Wow, that attitude is problematic. i'm going to write a scathing post on reddit and tumblr about how misogynistic you are.

post your rough draft here

Similar story, we had some maids from Paraguay. One lady brings her daughter over to the US and asks if we would hire her on. I'm still in middle school and she's in her mid 20s. I immediately fall for her. She was beautiful, incredible long legs and a fantastic ass. She ends up catching me jerking off, and I'm embarrassed as fuck. I decide to talk to her and apologize, fearing she might tell my parents or something. During our talk which was awkward as fuck, I kind of end asking her to give me a bj for $20. I immediately regret saying anything. I still don't know wtf I was thinking. She said yes though. This went on till she moved back to Paraguay to be with her husband, about 3 years later. Sometimes we would have sex, but she never charged me more. She made the best breakfast foods too.

>PSA: This is not a game
But Japanese games with obvious fan service pandering is? Kek.

>Why don't you guys play real video games like The Witcher,, Doom, New Vegas, and other shit?
Because I am.

I'll go buy a second copy and gift it to some user just to make you even madder.

Not until you fund me on Patreon.

Protip: The people bitching about Haydee do not play Japanese games.

What the shit is up with the camera though, it's too close

>not a game
>play real video games
And what defines a "real" videogame, famalam?

Bittersweet, user, bittersweet.

No, they're just normies and poorfags who only play what OP mentioned already.

i like cheesecake

haha you don't consider weeb shit like this to be a game either rigfht? I'd rather play a fake puzzle game marketed towards the meme kiddies than a fucking visual novel lmaoooooooooooo

Go play Tetris then, comrade.

Can anyone upload mod tools?

I dont care for the thicc, I'm in it for the high heels.

>did the game """"""""triggered"""""""" you?
there

I never understood games like this.
Why not just fap to porn?

I don't think anyone looking to seriously use the word "triggered" would use it in place of something like butthurt.

You can choose to be triggered or buttmad or butthurt whatever you prefer really. The world is your oyster.

...

because its not for fapping.

i dont get how a game has 1 sexy character and automatically its for fapping.

its just eye candy

more of a game than your anime shit :^)

I mean, I've seen threads on this board where people have modded the main character to, not only be entirely human, but to have little to no clothes on at all. Clearly a main demographic for this game are people who want to jerk off while they play vidya.

It's a sex game at it's very core. The shitty game mechanics substantiate that point, but also sadly mask all of it's apologists who claim that there's more substance to it than there really is.

I like looking at sexy things, the mere sight of something sexy doesn't make me need to jerk it right then and there. I can do that afterwards.

Virgins gonna virg, bud.

Virgins gonna virg.

>A Metroidvania with Resident Evil inspired save system, item management, and ammo management with lots of puzzles
>Not a game
Whatever you say broheim. I'd honestly prefer if Haydee had a different model just so I could aim better without the camera being up her ass.

ive also seen nude mods of SF5.

I guess that game is for fapping now.

I'm a virgin and I still have better things to do with my time than play this garbage. If i want to jack off then i watch porn instead of downloading some crappy game that doesn't even have sex/nudity in it.

>If a game has a main character with large breasts, hips, and ass, it's not a game
Thanks Ani/v/a Sarkeesian. I'm glad you're here to tell me what is and isn't a game based on the main character's look. I suppose Haydee would be a good game if she was an obese black womyn wearing ratty sweatpants and a hoody who shot evil white robots with her sharp chastising language and told them to stop stare raping her.

There's a game behind SF5 idiot

Holy shit you're so stupid

Congrats, you're a regular virgin instead of a retarded virgin. So at least there's that.

>]
and there is a game behind haydee. what is your point you fucking spastic?
you are just rambling like OP, unless you are OP which would not surprise me.

>/trash/
>discussion about the game
>helping out other anons who are stuck
>sharing and creating mods
>showing off your own outfits and creations and mods
>people enjoying themselves and having civil, constructive discussion of the game

>Cred Forums
>NOT A GAME NOT A GAME NOT A GAME
>SHILL SHILL SHILL SHILL SHILL
>LOL YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING VIRGIN NERDS LOL GET A FUCKING LIFE
>PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES STOP TALKING ABOUT PANCAKES OH MY GOD WOULD YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT PANCAKES I HATE PANCAKES

It would still be shit. That's the fucking point. The underlying """game""" is fucking garbage and they knew this was the only way to sell more than a couple dozen copies.

Name ONE game that heavily relies and sells itself on its fanservice/sexual content that is objectively good. Protip = can't.

Do I even need to say it, then?

There's a fundamental game behind SF5 that just so happens to have a pathetic sexually frustrated community who needs to mod their perverted fantasies into it to feel satisfied.

Haydee is a sexual fantasy disguised as a game for pathetic thicc losers like yourself.

I am honestly begging for you to have sex and take a shower.

>Civil, constructive discussion of the game

It's strange, after playing it for like 15 minutes, enjoying the eye-candy and over-the-top sexuality of it all, I found myself not really paying attention to Haydee herself as I played the actual game.

The game itself is pretty good for 15 bucks. Although climbing requires perhaps one too many key presses to accomplish, the game feels like a responsive 3rd person shooter and I actually enjoyed the effort I had to put in.

After 30 minutes or so I never bothered to glance at the fat ass or bouncing tits except on the occasional long hallway or backtrack, in which the robutt gave me something to enjoy during transit.

The ruskie who made this did exactly what he set out to do and I paid him his dues. I look forward to when he releases the kit for the game, which he has already said he was gonna do; if people made more levels I would definitely play it again.

Dead or Alive 3 is pretty good as far as fighting games go.

But you'll just say that game is shit without having ever played it, so here's a (You).

Great, why don't you head back to /trash/ then?
It's clearly where you belong.

>someone who is frustrated by sexual imagery
>telling me to have sex
whatever you say, keep thinking puzzle games are "LITERALLY PORN"

>Name ONE game that heavily relies and sells itself on its fanservice/sexual content that is objectively good.

Easy. The Neptunia series, or Senran Kagura.

No, I don't give a fuck what your personally think about either of those series', because your subjective criticism on either doesn't mean a lick towards being "objectively good".

All games are subjective to the player, and some games hit harder to different folks.

Haydee is 15 dollars, has fan service and is actually a serviceable budget 3rd-person puzzle platform shooter. It's definitely not a terrible game, but it's not the most amazing 15 dollars I've ever spent.

And that's enough for me.

I've played all the DOA fighting games. They're not great. Outclassed by almost every other 3D fighter.

Face it, you've lost.

>Witcher
Wasn't that an HBO series or something?

All I'm hearing about it was how pretty it was and how good the story was. Also sex scenes.

Is newdoom not the perfecct revival it clearly is?

Also as a 3d falloutnew vegas is actually good.

DOA still has a dedicated fanbase that thoroughly enjoy the games in the series. The fighting games themselves are perfectly proficient in most of what they set out to do, although it most certainly isn't the worst 3d fighter in circulation.

What you think is good doesn't mean jack shit.

>Neptunia
>Senran Kagura

Ooh, looks like I caught the big one! Pssh, too easy.

They are the very definition of grindy shittyfuck weeb garbage, and your opinion has been immediately discarded. Thanks for playing. I suggest you commit suicide as soon as possible.

it's pretty obvious you really don't know what you're talking about

>played all of the games in a series
>eh it sucks

Then why did you play them all?

You're either retarded or you're lying.

Or both.

Neptunia and Senran Kagura are fucking shit games sold only by their fanservice and waifus and anyone who thinks they're actually good games are just delusional idiots

Yes I dont get this either.
Why do you guys need to buy a game when you find a character hot?

Why not just find porn, it is a thousand times easier and less costly you retards.

>liking shitskins
Your father is weeping, somewhere.

Yeah I bought in the meme/hype with neptunia, played the first one it was okayish jrpg, quit the second one when I realized they even recycled old maps and just put new waifus in.

>They are the very definition of grindy shittyfuck weeb garbage, and your opinion has been immediately discarded. Thanks for playing. I suggest you commit suicide as soon as possible.

Buzzwords buzzwords buzzwords.

People buy games from both of these series and enjoy playing them. If you're point of reference for "shittyfuck weeb garbage" games is the fact that they contain grinding mechanics, then you're flat-out wrong in attempting to state that makes them objectively bad. Progression mechanics appeal to lots of folks; it's why people like grinding in MMO's, and most of the reason the Disgaea series lasted as long as it did.

But it's cute that you think your personal preferences decide the objective worth of any sort of videogame. I bet your parents are proud of ya.

You fuckers don't know shit.
I'm a camp monitor during easter, summer and Christmas for kids 6 to 13.
This one summer there was this THICC as fuck colombian girl there, ass for days, tits like melons, I thought she was a new monitor since there's new ones almost every round.
She's a participant. 13 years old. Body like a mother.

I've never sweated that hard.

Well hey, no game can be as good as Virtua Fighter 5FS or Bloody Roar 3, that goes without saying. DoA is still legit, though, and I like it more than Tekken due to the speed.

>Yes I dont get this either.

Let me try and help you, buckaroo.

>Why do you guys need to buy a game when you find a character hot?

We don't *NEED* to. But having an attractive main character helps sell games. Nobody wants to play as a fucking uggo unless there is a specific reason and gimmick to it.

Please let me know if you do not understand this so I can help you.

>Why not just find porn, it is a thousand times easier and less costly you retards.

Because I'm not jacking off when I play Haydee. I'm playing a serviceable 3rd person puzzle platformer akin to shit like Tomb Raider, which lots of eye candy added in. It's nice to look at, but certainly doesn't give me a full-mast erection and literally force me to pop one off every time I see it.

Please let me know if you do not understand this so I can help you.

BlazBlue. It's a very good airdasher and has lots of cute girls. I'd play if it all of the characters were old ugly men, in fact. (Valenhayn is actually my favorite character)

Of course, I bet that even if it was a game with a "serious" anime art style like Hokuto no Ken, none of you people would be willing to pick it up for some other arbitrary reason.

>Bloody Roar 3

Man. I wish Bloody Roar was still a thing.

>tfw its absolute freedom
>people write hilarious articles because you don't live their idea of a utopia

Cred Forums hates all video games now and doesn't actually want to discuss them. This is just a shitposting haven. Only the off topic threads have people pretending to really give a shit about anything. Make a JAV thread, you'll have a bunch of excited anons civilly discussing stuff, make a thread about some shitty band, same thing, but a video game? Holy shit, time for the anger and hatred about why all games are shit now and you should feel bad for talking about them.

don't project yourself on to others user.
its just a third person puzzle platformer like the old tomb raiders games with a slightly more sexualized character and metroidvania back tracking. so your saying tomb raider on psone would of been nothing but a sex game if lora was wearing a thong leotard instead of shorts and a tight top? because of that outfit everything else in the game is void?

Some people just like sexy aesthetics man. Why take away things people like?

stop talking to me

Would you people be crying over this game as much if it starred a generic looking guy with short brown hair like most other third person shooters? I thought you'd be happy that westerners were attempting something different for once.

(You)

>protagonist is a big titted, wide hips, fat ass robot women
>something different

Other than the robot part, which modders remove right away anyway, there is nothing different or original to be found here

>westerners
The devs are Russian.

What really? Name another big titter fatass protagonist.

>AND IT ALL COMES
>TUMBLING DOWN
>TUMBLING DOWN
>TUMBLING DOOOOWN

kekked heartily, forgot that Cred Forums was a Muslim board that instantly goes crazy as soon as they see a woman in anything but a burka.
How common are these things in video games outside of mods? The only character that comes to mind for me is Mary Ivonskaya from Tobal.
Eastern Europe has more in common with the western world than the eastern world, much like Australia.

I'll take it
could use more bombass tiddies in my life

>"other than the part that is different"
>something about modding that pertains to nothing and has no bearing
>"there is nothing different."

Wanna try again? I mean, let's get serious; very few things are original, but a buxom cyborg girl in a 3rd person puzzle platformer isn't seen a whole bunch.

every fucking hentai sex game like this piece of shit

Most H-games are loli

Please don't respond to me if you have nothing to offer

source?

I'm probably going to buy it soon but I have a question

One o the tags lists metroidvania, exactly how is that? The only item you get is the pistol yeah?

That's not true. The protagonists are all guys looking to get big titted fatasses.

wow nice nameing another heavy set sexy female character from another game.
also most hentai games the protagonist is a faceless teen man. so try again.

Pretty sure he means from western developers. And western eroge is shit and barely even a thing.

If this were true, Anita Sarkesian wouldn't have made that video complaining about the lack of fat female characters in games.

there are many equipable tools to find and finding them will enable you to explore areas you've been to before.

mod tools just came out I think, just no documentation

I mean pirate release dingus

Why do people fall for such shitty bait?

But he's correct. I can't name another game that plays like this that stars a cyborg woman built like Haydee.

That, by definition, is original.

You couldn't figure out ledges, could you?

Its a game

Its just a unfinished pile of shit

animations are bad

Textures are bad if they are used at all

Every room is just a tiny ass puzzle room that most of the time isn't even a puzzle are much as touch everything to find out if it dose anything while trying not to die from the awful platforming mechanics, if you even want to call the barebone shit that is there even that

Shooting sucks and the gun has no effects associated with it other then a sound effect, nothing reacts to being shot either, not even bullet decals


If you like this game, you got meme'd on and have just the worse taste in games

>ZOMG, THIS GAME IS MADE FOR DISGUSTING VIRGINS, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DISCUSS IT!
Lots of women and "feminists allies" using Cred Forums today, I see. Looks like Varg Vikernes was right again.

>Shooting sucks and the gun has no effects associated with it other then a sound effect, nothing reacts to being shot either, not even bullet decals
This is the worst aspect

lol I remember when I first played I just kept dropping and hoping I'd cling onto the edge to get across that tutorial area. at least later I figured out you can cling onto ledges by pushing the crouch button again

>One o the tags lists metroidvania, exactly how is that?

To be fair, the term "metroidvania" has been used far too much and the exact definition of it has become muddled, mostly because metroid and castlevania are actually, fundamentally different.

>The only item you get is the pistol yeah?

No sir. You get several other items, such as a night vision visor to navigate pitch-black areas, a gas mask to navigate rooms full of green fartgas, and there are 2 other weapons in the game.

There are also keys, items usable on other specific items to produce effects, etc. It has a number of tools that help with navigation, similar to a castlevania style game.

>>Cred Forums

yeah this

Bara mod when?

>Why not just fap to porn?
Is there even porn of big titty robots?

Rockman

because I already beat them years back

What's wrong user, did you run out of saves before hitting the second zone?

>"PSA this isn't a game hurr"
>but it is a game
>"OKAY??! that might be true but it's a shit game!"
>nobody gives a shit about your hot opinions
>OP proceeds to be a triggered faggot

And the world still goes on.

they are called question marks you dumbbass

you're like, hours late, and this is all you can contribute?

Go jerk off to some 3d porn loser hahaha