Play a stealth game

>game tells you to trade with your friends to catch 'em all
>use glitches so I never have to trade

>game says to beat final boss
>skip it.

I LIKE THE WAY YOU WORK IT

>game has microtransactions
>buy them
WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND

>Game encourages me to kill everything I see
>Do a pacifist run instead

CAUGHT IN THE UNDERTOW

>game tells me not to turn off the power while it's saving
>turn off the power anyway

>games encourages me to spare enemies
>kill every enemy
AUUUUUGH PEOPLE=SHIT

>end up getting killed instead even though I could have survived
its okay because I was pretending to be retarded the entire time

>game has cars/planes/boats
>walk everywhere
DARKNESS IMPRISONING ME

>enemies ask for mercy
>kill them anyway
I KNOW WHY YOU BLAME ME

>game has crafting mechanics
>never use them
WAKE ME UP INSIDE

>Best character dies
>Game loses all charm

IT'S LOCKDOWN BABY, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY

I always go the pacifist way

>play an action shooter with no stealth mechanics
>use stealth anyways
WASH AWAY THE ANGER

>game has different factions with vastly different ideals and goals
>kill every faction leader
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SEND THE POOR?

>Game encourages me to take my time and explore
>Look up speedrun strats to beat the game

I AM A WIND OF DESTRUCTION

>tutorial says to press right trigger to shoot gun
>press left trigger instead
THE CAKE WILL END UP CRAZY

>game has elo system
>play purposely shit in the placements
>stomp low elo players
TAKE A LOOK AT THESE HANDS

>Game tells me things are gonna get dangerous and be prepared
>waltz on in right then and there
FLYING FOR FREE

>"If you kill him what makes you any different?!"
Well, miss naive, seeing as how I've already slaughtered thousands to reach him, I'd say I'm already more fit to be where he's standing anyway

>adjust brightness so that the image on the left is barely visible
>crank the brightness up to max

WAKE ME UP INSIDE.

>Spend an hour modifying a game with a hex editor
>Don't play it anyway

RUNNING WITH THE DEEEVILL

>game gives you better endings if you kill less
>trigger the bad ending on a no death run
LOCK ME UP

>put the brightness down to the minimum

CAN'T WAKE UP

>"normal difficulty is recommended on your first playthrough"
>choose hard
PUT ME OUT OF MY FU-CKING MI-SE-RYYYYYY

>change the settings os the image that's supposed to be barely visible isn't visible and the image that's supposed to be not visible is visible
A LITTLE BIT OF MONICA IN MY LIFE

>can't beat final boss
>watch the game ending on youtube

I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EEEEEEEEYYYYYYYES

>recommended settings are medium-high
>set to ultra
MY NAME IS MUD

>later complain on Cred Forums that the game runs like shit even with recommended specs and blaming the devs incompetence
HEEEEY MACARENA

>go to a huge lan party
>only play singleplayer games offline
WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I

>little sister is crying
>start fucking her harder
MY LIFE WILL GO ON

>recommended settings are ultra
>set to minimal
RUNNING IN THE 90'S

Keked heartily

>Game has point of no return and tells me to explore everything before continuing on
>Go pass the point anyways

DIG THROUGH THE DITCHES

if you have a hot sister it's crazy to NOT fuck her 2bh

>"don't sit too close to the television"
>sit even closer to it
SOMETHING TAKES A PART OF ME

>story says you need to do some shit or everything is fucked in a couple "hours"
>fast travel and do sidequests for real-time days
I WOKE UP IT WAS SEVEN

...

>PEGI 18
>AM 5
TWO NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

Kek

>stealth based game
>the easiest way to pass it is by shoot your way through

>play game with radio
>mod in music that fits horribly
ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE PICTURES MADE TO MAKE YOU CRY

>"Press any button to continue"
>Press power button
THIS MAJOR TOM TO GROUND CONTROL

>Horror games suggests to play game at night, with headphones, in the dark
>Play in broad daylight with friends around instead

IN THE END, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER

I actually got really good at sword fighting in Thief just because the game tried to gimp you so hard. It was like it was challenging me. Garrett's actually pretty capable in a scuffle if you know how to use him. I could usually go 2 on 1 and come out without taking damage. Still tried to avoid it since I played on the highest difficulty, where you fail if you murder any innocent.

>Game suggest you kill your friends
>Keep them alive instead
SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME

>strategy game tells me to take a snack break
>go eat out for a hearty brunch instead

(TELL ME WHY) AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE

What about taking on two Haunts, user?

>Game has a very deep, engaging and complex combat system
>Play through the game just using the very minimal stealth system
FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!

>enter joker thread
>don't post about times i acted like the joker
CAN YOU FEEL THE SUNSHINE

>This is a sneaking mission
>Kill everyone

MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS FLAWED

I never played Thief but that webm seems very goofy and confusing

>I never played Thief
Play it.

...

Take more hits and do more damage. Apart from that, they aren't that different from regular guards; once you get behind or around to the side of them they're fucked. Taking them on from the front sucks because its very difficult to block the quick right to left slashes. Other enemies, like fire shadows or mages, are worst.

>game has highly engaging and excellent writing
>skip every text box
I PUT THE KNIFE, I PUT THE KNIFE THROUGH MY BRAIN

>game has multiple main endings
>only doing the first one and searching the others in youtube

OOGA CHAKA

>Cred Forums tells me to play Thief
>don't play it
CRAWLIN IN MY SKIIIN

>play an RPG
>forced party change to underleveled members due to story
>cheese the game anyway

ONE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
TWO
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

It's because most enemies share the same sword fencing animations, even if they're using a fucking two handed hammer.

I actually did this with Shadow of Chernobyl because the ending levels were such a pain I didn't want to replay multiple times.

>game tells me being nice in a party could get me invited back
>act like a toxic asshole anyway

I'M BREAKING THE HAAAABIT!

>game suggests I take a 15 minute break
>keep playing for 6 more hours
WHY CAN'T I GET JUST ONE FUCK?

>Cred Forums- video games
>don't post video games
FLOOOOOOOOOOOR

>Game has cops that will arrest you for excessive speeding
>Get clocked in at the 60 mph speed trap at 61mph

I AM ROCK

>game tells me to press space to jump
>keybind jump to left mouse
I'VE BECOME SO NUMB

That song was weirdly in every youtube video titled "Freddy Kreugur vs Jason Vorhees vs Chucky vs Michael Meyers" for some reason I remember all of those videos even though I never watched horror movies when I was younger I loved the idea of VS movies.

>pirate game
>have more fun installing it than actually playing it
THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS

>boss takes 1% of your damage unless you hit his weakspot.
>kill boss never hitting weakspot for 5 hours.

SUFFOCATION. NO BREATHING.