I'm a fraud Cred Forums

I'm in an internship and I don't understand anything.
Here's the extend of my interaction with my tutor so far:
>here's your table
>do you know about cucumber?
>I heard it's some kind of test automation tool.
>I want to use it to help developpement, find some doc and read about it so you can tell the team later.
>By the way we're using react native to devellop this app.
It's been two days and I'm killing myself reading heaps and heaps of documentation about languages I haven't learned for this tool assuming you already have and know you way around your developpement stack when all I know about what we're making is the framework.
Can't even pretend and not do shit, it's an open space and I got the spot with the least privacy possible. And I'm stuck here for at least three months, I'm sure everything will be fine.

Other urls found in this thread:

dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs71.pdf
news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7543994
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

exactly on my first day working.
i survived though

just tell the truth i am sure they will help you learn
you matter to them else they wouldnt have given you the job

>Hi Mr. Tutor. I am afraid that I have only been able to do [thing that you did] so far. I will do better once I see what the rest of team is up to.

How optimistic. Here's an alternative, what if they thought that hiring someone, who despite it being a misrepresentation, knew the skills and tools necessary to jump in and get started at a basic level would be easier to teach. As opposed to someone who knows nothing of the sort and will contribute nothing. Hope you know how coffee makers work and brought your fellatio knee pads.

>developpement

How did you even make it into the internship?

Nobody can teach me how to do it. The tutor has charged me with learning it for the team.

Perhaps you missed the part where OP said that this was a 3-month internship.

>webdev

Pretend you're a tranny and go on rants about misogyny in tech

Then you can get away with anything

What we did at my previous place of work was to tie interns up and pelt them with used (still wet) teabags. Then we would bring the teabagged interns to the CEO for the purpose of mockery, humiliation, and ridicule: "Ahahaha! He was not able to utilize the [framework] in the project, even though he had two days to do it in! Ahahahaa!" Then the intern would be sent out in the rain without a shirt, shoes or an umbrella, while the secretaries took photos. Then one of us would open the intern's project, locate a crucial part of the code, and change the "i" to a "1" in the intern's for loop.

This is what will happen to you tomorrow. Right?

Sounds like you're underqualified for the job.

nobody drinks tea at tech companies. coffee only.

>Then one of us would open the intern's project, locate a crucial part of the code, and change the "i" to a "1" in the intern's for loop.
This is why I GPG-sign all of my commits

Old days: Company laptop, sometimes without version control, hue hue hue hue!

1) Consult Dr. Google
2) If you didn't lie on your resume, and they hired you anyway, the fault lies on their side of the court for getting an untrained monkey to do their taxes
3) It's better to be honest and upfront about not knowing something rather than bullshitting your way to a lazy solution. The solution might work, but once it breaks, egos bruise, and fingers start pointing, your oblivious ass will look even worse.

You already spent two days doing fuckall, I hope you can demonstrate some knowledge you acquired during this brief period of research. Most likely they're putting you to the test to see how you respond to tasks out of your league.

its an internship they are supposed to teach him stuff for almost free

pretty sure it's exaclty free
the startup doesn't even pay for the electricity I need to charge my laptop since it's another company's locals.
And considering the amount of time I've been spoken to, I doubt the time lost on giving me instruction is very damaging to their productivity.

>startup
holy shit, the meme is real

>internship at a startup
That is not an internship, that is a joke. Quit and go somewhere else.

yes, yes it is
it's me, Mr ceo (who is also mr tutor) and two other interns who have been here for 4 months.

Do not torture your poor intern, you fiend!

Working at a startup, lmao

>here do ten times the work of a normal company for half the pay

Have you spoken to the other interns about the workload? Maybe they were given something similar to begin with and can give advice on what mr 'ceo' will need.

Also fucking get out of there, a startup will abuse you for all they can.

This

Its basicly like inhaling your own fart and shit pellets.

Isn't the point of internships to learn on the job? You're not expected to know everything.

no, the point is free labor lmao

to be a wageslave without a wage

Frauds don't deserve help, user

If you got the internship by saying you have skills/knowledge that you, in fact, lack, well then... I guess you just shouldn't be there

The point of an internship is to learn. I know a guy who was hired as a programmer, but it took a month for the company to find easy enough tasks for him at first.

well if they don't know how it works how are they gonna be able to know you don't know?

Depends on the company. Some companies do indeed get interns as free labour. This is not a good practice, and it usually ends up biting them in the behind, because karma is karma.

what does that circuit do?

This. Just be clear on what you do and don't know and try to learn as much as you can while you're there. Someone who spends the first weeks learning the stack will be more useful than someone whom spend all their time faking / doing nothing.

I still don't understand anything but they hired me for full time before my term ended anyways (non graduate still)

just smile and be nice my nigga

>unironically using a pizza emoji for the filename
>Cred Forums doesn't notice

wrong

they hired him for tax cuts

this. my latest C# project required me to learn dependency injection and IoC. took me more than a day so they cut my pay in half and forced me to spend 25 hours in the shame cube. I've been a developer for 2 years so OP is fucked basically.

It's an internship motherfucker, you're there to learn.
Find the fucking tutor and tell him to tutor your ass so you can do so.

Doesn't show up on my autism machine

...

Develops a web.

kek
getting pretty hungry now

>mfw cs grad with no experience
>developed android application solo, gui,in app payments, backend server
>op talking about shit I haven't even heard of

Everything's going to be okay, right?

probably, I've just spent 3 months in an "internship" and now they want to keep me as some kind of intern. They said that I'd work on their web services and I told them that I have never even used or made anything with stuff like SOAP l, WSDLs or whatever. They decided that's okay and now my first task is essentially recreating SoapUI
I have no idea what I'm doing

just google everything, you'll get it eventually

i have held my internship position now for 1 month, and I can convey that the feelings I had were much like your own.

I was thrown straight into Struts 2, whilist I only had myself basic knowledge of Java.

The amount a person can learn after experiencing a mental state such as this is astronomical - every new week I look back at the dummy I was a week ago.

yep, it's what I'm doing
although now I have some problem with WSDL parsing so looks like I'll have to go beg on stackoverflow

It will all be fine, user! You'll pick up soon

Looks like a boost converter to me.

>you matter to them
how cute.

Interleaved boost converter

: ^ )

Lmao where'd you waste your time interning with that english degree?

Just install Adobe Reader and call it a day.

Welcome to real life programming. Takes months to figure shit out if you're working on something huge.

It's an internship. Learn as much as you can. They aren't expecting much from you. Make sure you're getting paid though.

>no wage
I've never had an unpaid internship. If you're doing anything useful, you should be paid.

>Make sure you're getting paid though.

Entitled fag. Internship is a learning experience, not an actual job. You should be grateful you're given the experience to learn, yet you still want monetary compensation for a learning experience. JEW

I've been paid for every internship I've done and my friends have been paid for every co-op or internship I've heard them mention.

For those of us who live in the free world; dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs71.pdf

I feel you famalam. I recently graduated med school and feel I don't know jack shit.

Relax. You got shoved into webdev.

I've been programming for 10 years and it still makes my head hurt. Web dev is dominated by non-engineers and dumb people who want to feel smart while coding, so don't expect quality and expect a lot of reinventing the wheel.

Try to grab your tutor and ask him what processes and tooling are involved from writing the code to pushing to production, every step of the way. Take notes and then try to do your best. Always be in a cheerful mood and let them know with actions you're trying to involve yourself.

Good luck with your internship user.

>pretty sure it's exaclty free
What? Do you have an unpaid internship?

GTFO immediately. There is no reason you can't have a paid internship. This isn't the fucking sciences where you have to slave away for free at a job for years before getting a job.

If you have an unpaid internship as a codemonkey you are a fucking idiot.

>Internship is a learning experience, not an actual job.
This is where you are wrong. You are doing the work of an actual job. Thus you are paid.

Probably most code or web related internships are paid. You actually have to look hard to find unpaid ones.

Not a webdev and I just looked up cucumber. What kind of piece of shit syntax is this?

>What kind of piece of shit syntax is this?
See, this is one of the things you can talk about to the rest of the team. How they probably won't like it because of weird syntax.

What you should do is to find easier alternatives. If it's easy enough for you, the fucking new guy, to figure out, it'll be easy enough for everyone else

You should tell them that Cucumber is for documentation, not testing or automation.

news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7543994

Now, find a good test automation tool for them instead.

This is a sign that maybe you're being instructed to use a shitty tool for the job.

If they knew what it was, they wouldn't task you with learning it.

LEARN THIS NOW: Your job is not to get shit done without question. Your job is to help the team do their work easier.

have it right. You have to tell them that this Cucumber is bullshit and too hard to figure out. And if you have an alternative for them as well they will be impressed. In fact, don't do this without an alternative figured out for them. Otherwise you will look lazy.

Don't go to them with problems, go to them with solutions. In this case the solution is not necessarily "suck it up and try to figure out Cucumber"

>cucumber
>cucumber in a startup company
Haha, your employers don't know jack fucking shit. Get the fuck out of there now before your ship sinks.

kill yourself

Sounds about right for an intern though, looking up something they can't be assed about. Either that or menial tasks is what they're assigned anyway. Nobody actually expects them to contribute much

>looking up something they can't be assed about.
Well in this case they want him to look it up so he can teach them. In this case they will be assed about it. Especially if it's a piece of shit that's hard to use.

Show initiative. Look up something better than Cucumber.

It's not even a test automation took its a BDD tool. This is not the kind of developer you want to learn from.