Worst Interviews You've Had?

So this one is for the people who've been in terrible interviews as an interviewee.

What was the tipping point and what were the questions they asked you?
What has been the worst question you've been asked?(either to show their superiority or just not understand something very simple you've said)

Mine is this place where I walked in and they sat me down at a really rushed and faulty environment and asked me to do some PHP busywork for an hour.
They had a password on their server which they didn't give me(I had to ask) and involved a ton of really small contextualised tasks to do.

After the hour there was a face to face culture fit section where they asked me if I liked open floor plans, asked me if I liked keeping reptiles, and asked me if doing side projects in my free time would clash with work...

I got a phone call the next week for round 2 interviews and I noped the hell out of there.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/ewek-6TudOM?t=42
uscis.gov/working-united-states/temporary-workers/h-1b-specialty-occupations-and-fashion-models/combating-fraud-and-abuse-h-1b-visa-program
lmgtfy.com/?q=star interviewing technique
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

> What was the tipping point and what were the questions they asked you?
> What has been the worst question you've been asked?(either to show their superiority or just not understand something very simple you've said)

An extremely autistic beardneck guy with an acne from his eyes to his chin asked me how Multithreading works in Ruby. Fair enough, but then, all of the sudden, asked me to hand-write how is it implemented in underlying C code. On paper.
It was an interview for a junior RoR dev position.
His colleague was better though, asked relevant questions and threw in some good algorithmic problems to solve.
Ended up not getting a position and that company went under a year after that happened.

Mine was when I was interviewing for a sysadmin role, and when asked about A and MX records, I forgot entirely what the concept was. I just died on the spot and am pretty sure thats why I didnt hear from them.

IT Support role
Manager was a female pajeet, rude from start to finish during the interview process.

Sounds like a hellish work environment for them to ask so many stupid questions.

In my last interview I didn't get any technical questions, but I got a heap of HR type questions.
>Describe a time you went above and beyond
>How have you been a team leader in your past projects
>When did you come up with an innovative way to solve a problem
I always expect a few of these questions, but I hate it when the entire interview consists of vague questions. Unless I only get interviewed to fill quotas.

My first job interview for recruitment.

The owner came out and asked why I'd gotten a terrible grade in my uni degree. I told the truth, I hadn't worked hard because I preferred doing sports way more. He asked me if I was ever going to work hard. I said no. He then told me I'd forever be a failure, that I'd let my family down, and that he'd worked hard and now had loads of money.

And then he said I didn't have the job. I smiled and walked out.

Anyway a year later I realised I wanted to be a software engineer and made it happen. I earn good money now and don't have to work that hard. Needless to say, I never went to an interview for recruitment again, but not because he bullied me, but because it's a shit job.

these aren't "vague questions" they're called competency questions and interviewers love them. you need to have an example for every scenario and answer in the STAR format

>He then told me I'd forever be a failure, that I'd let my family down, and that he'd worked hard and now had loads of money.
i think having a life is more important than money

>How do you feel about the code you will write will contribute to a lot of people's death?
>Will you have a problem with that?
How the fuck do you answer that one without sounding like a psycho?

> How the fuck do you answer that one without sounding like a psycho?
"Depends on whom you are going to kill."

I got nervous and went to the wrong direction

40 mins late to the appointment. Needless to say I was not considered

>Worst Interviews You've Had?
>implying i ever had one

>>How do you feel about the code you will write will contribute to a lot of people's death?
Jesus christ why would they put you on the spot like that?
it's like the trolley problem, "you need to sacrifice lives to save lives"
or maybe "creation through destruction"

I'd actually really appreciate if anybody has example answers to this since I'm working in defence myself

asked me to undertake a psychological assessment as part of the recruitment process

If that's the case, why would you reply to this thread at all?
But since you did, care to tell us why do you prefer a non-working lifestyle?

fuck normie wageslave cucks voting shillary with no free time reeeee

Kind of what I answered and got the job. Kind of a mood killer at parties when people ask what you work with. Try to wrap it around that I work with defence products. Are people actually that antiwar in general that they think people that make tools of war are horrible people? The same people have no problem with people serving in the military and pressing the triggers.

Depends which people

That would be all, thank you.

I believe it's to weed out people that actually have a problem with it. They don't want to get through the trouble of getting you a security clearance and then you quit.

> Are people actually that antiwar in general that they think people that make tools of war are horrible people?
Most pro-war people never experienced an actual war.
But then again, pacifism is a modern development. It's a social thing, you are considered a good and worthy person if you directly oppose anything related to any form of violence. Details and reality be damned.
Question yourself from time to time, before you become a amoral husk, but don't mind people who might dislike you for your craft. They are showing off their perceived virtue to the world as they see it.

It's somewhere in the middle. Sure, being a obsessed with money is bad, but being the average normie who struggles financially and wastes their free time on escapism is just as bad.

Did I get the job?

Snarky, i like that.

During an interview the man sighed and asked me what I was doing being single with no kids at 27. He said I didn't have a good reason to keep me working at the job.

He was right because I quit on day 2. It was working in a lumber mill inhaling glue fumes infront of a hot oven lifting all day for $12/hr. Every worker was a troubled cocaine/heroin/alcohol user.

Interview as engineer and whisky bottling company.
I have previous experience working on high speed bottling and packing lines.

Interviewer has no interest, answers phone in middle of interview.
I start asking the questions so I can get my relevant experience across.

He answers his phone again.
I ask if they have a specific problem, we dicuss the issue and I bring up a number of points they have not considered.

Interviewer said if he gave me the job I would be the most experienced engineer on the line.

I thought the interview has shit.
Told the recruiter the interview was shit.
Recruiter called me a couple of days later creaming in his pants excited about my interview, talking about my great relevant experience.

Didn't get the job due to nepotism.
Guess it was the whole makaveli "Don't outshine the master" thing.

I had two interviews that went bad in a very similar way.

Background: For phone interviews, I always ask the candidate to set the day and time. I then email them the date and time, and ask them to confirm.

>Interview 1
>*lots of background noise, train station noise*
>Me: Are you on a train?
>Candidate: Yeah!
>Me: But... how am I supposed to interview you? Didn't you confirm this date and time?
>Candidate: I wanted to go out and see my friends!

>Interview 2
>*candidate is quite distracted*
>Me: Ok, do you have a paper and pen to write down some code?
>Candidate: Actually, I cannot write anything, as I am driving.
>Me: You are driving? But we have been talking for 5 minutes! That is dangerous!
>Candidate: Yeah, haha... maybe you can call me back later?

A phone interview lasts for 20-30 minutes. If you are setting the date and time, you should be free. Taking the interview while on a train or while driving is incredibly unprofessional.

The word pacifism has been around since the 1900's so only the word can be considered relatively modern.

Buddhists and taoists believed in peaceful means hundreds of years before the arrival of Christianity.

The Greek stoic philosophers belived in resolving disputes peacefully and only believed in war as a defensive measure.

The sermon on the mount story in the Bible gives pacifism it's ground in Christianity.

So the concept of pacifism is thousands of years old.

Okay, here's one:

>doing a phone screen for a support role
>the role doe snot require building things
but rechnical knowledge is necessary to asses impact
>general questions about neworking, OSes, load balancing
>skim guy's CV before the call
>of course it's a fucking pajeet
>notice he has CCNA certification
>I guess I'll just do 2-3 networking questions and move along
>after introductions I want to get over the networking questions quicky
>ask what is the purpose of a mask in an IP address
>"IP address is an address that computers have"
>ugh, okay, but can you explain to me what is the purpose of a mask in IP?
>"IP addresses have 4 numbers"
>okay, so you do not know what an IP mask is?
>"IP has masks, yes"
>...
>it says on your CV that you have CCNA cert, you should know what an IP mask is
>"..."

When shit like that happens I just want to slam the phone, but apparently we are supposed to continue the interview. So I ignored the networking questions and went for OS ones, but he was trash at that too. And this shit happens far too often. I really don't get why lying on their CVs.

Also, this one time I attended a recruiting training and I mentioned to the lecturer that we get candidates that lie, and his response was fucking retarded: "candidates never lie"

So I said, yes, yes they do, all the freakin' time. But the guy was adamant that "candidates never lie", I'm sure it's some PR bullshit.

>I really don't get why lying on their CVs.
I meant I really don't get why people think they can get away with lying on their CVs.

Reposting from my thread
>thought Cred Forums was full of shit about pajeet
>do phone interview for a well known company in a major city
>talked to HR everything seems normal
>keep asking if I'm a US citizen
>for he fifth time yes
>next day talk to lead
>can hardly make out a single fucking thing he is saying
>asking scrub tier shit but have to ask him to repeat himself because of his accent
>doesn't ask me shit I applied for
>at the end ask me any questions
>ask if additional spots are open because this is not what I applied for but I feel competent enough to do it
>wait you applied for what again?
>mfw this fucker didn't even read my resume
>mfw not sure if this is real

Try specifying they will have to write things down when you confirm via email you fucking mong.

>this is the level of intellect of a person with enough "experience" to conduct interviews

Oh lordddd

>Hey I saw the add ca I be a receptionist at your electronics repair shop?
>Do you know anything about repairing electronics?
>No
>Hahahahahahah
>Should I get out?
>nods

what country?

I lie at every interview about my qualifications and get jobs. I told them I had a couple years of professional RoR experience when it was actually 3 months on a hobby project, but now I'm a mid level Rails dev

Okay, that's not that horrible, because you knew something.

But lying that you have CCNA when you can't answer basic networking questions?

That's like telling potential employer you're fluent in german and then be unable to speak a word when they ask you to conduct the interview in german.

Phone interview for College Board.

They put me on the phone with an Indian guy who had the thickest accent I've ever heard.

He started reading off a JavaScript function letter by letter , character by character and I literally couldn't understand a single word he was saying.

It took him like a minute to finish. By the end I just said "I'm sorry, I just don't know".

Interview ended quickly. But I dodged a bullet I think. I'm told working there sucks unless you're a manager.

Why would a receptionist need to know shit about electronics?

UK

Same reason why companies list 5 years requirement and about 10 other things including a phd in theoretical physics and purple heart medal for a junior js dev position.

You still apply with 2 months of experience and end up getting hired because no one cares about requirements, they need codemonkeys

They also pretend to act calm whenever they refer to random irrelevant shit, as if the silence is going to make me miraculously talk to their fucking soul.

Only time an interviewer pissed me off to my recollection was when this fucker asked me "If you could remove one state from the United States, which would it be and why?"

I took too long to answer and the interview went downhill from there. I ended up saying California since they contribute more to the Union than they receive in federal aid so they wouldn't need the help as much. That interview happened almost a year ago and I still don't know what the right answer was.

The right answer is Washington DC.

The correct answer is: “America is the greatest country in the world. I’d fucking die for this country”

>The same people have no problem with people serving in the military and pressing the triggers.
Killing someone in person and bearing the emotional weight of it is arguably more honorable than writing software that may or may not kill people you don't know in an abstract future.

>So this one is for the people who've been in terrible interviews as an interviewee.
Probably about 8 years ago I had an a autistic interviewer for a sys admin position at a machining company get triggered that I had never heard of the word gibibyte. Because who the fuck ever says that.

This is a NEET board, please fuck off.

T. Fell for the 16GiB RAM meme

I'm starting to realize despite the pay you get from these jobs the interviewer competentcy is lower than that of people who work at McDonald's

Interviewer is the owner of a really small (2-3 people) company. Only reason i went is he had a really interesting project about to start.
Interviewer: So, how long did it take you to build X(A complicated system for a news corporation)
Me: about 3 months
Interviewer: Why so long?
Me:(wtf? i thought that was quick) Well, I had to be sure it was done right, testing ...
Interviewer: We don't care about quality, we only care about speed

You can tell you don't even have a chance when this happens. I hate it when companies waste my time interviewing when they already had their hire before the application process started; Just going through the motions in order to make it seem like the process was followed.

>Also, this one time I attended a recruiting training and I mentioned to the lecturer that we get candidates that lie, and his response was fucking retarded: "candidates never lie"
The facilitator lied about his teaching credentials.

That's not really lying, it's more just 'exaggerating the truth'

I assume that you wanted to reply to this post: .

I had multiple interviews these days. I think you need to learn how to pass an interview. I thought it was about you talk about yourself answer their questions and get the job. I mean they called me in because I had what is needed in the job, but apparently you gotta look excited, motivated and seem like a person who would die on the command of the boss but still without ambition to move any higher so you don't threaten the boss's position.

My best interview was for a startup for the IT support role. I was fluent in the required language and had a lot technical background I felt I did great on the interview. But I was rejected with the reason that I am overqualified for the role and that it wouldn't keep me interested and at their company for a long time. You gotta come across during the interview as a person who wants to work at their shitty company for slave wage in the next 10 years.

The way to answer that one is "if it's for the greater good and defense of our nation then I will do what needs to be done" or something along those lines

Yeah my bad

If you're that qualified maybe you should aim higher

If you waste your free time on escapism them you don't have a life

I don't see what you find so upsetting about that. There's overhead in hiring somebody; if he's overqualified, he will leave for greener pastures as soon as possible. But more than that, it can cause tensions in the team. How do you handle it when this person is more qualified than his lead?

Companies need to minimize risk, and thus they look for somebody who looks like he'll be happy in the job and stick around.

To all the guys mambling about writing killer code..

People working on GPS contributed to killing millions. Same as rocket fuel industry workers. Chill up with that one.

Also, they may think you won't accept the salary that's been budgeted for the position.

Go drink some bleach, shit for brains.

If interviewer looks chill
> as long as it's just filthy pakis dying then it's cool

If not
> i only make the tool, i don't use it. If i don't make it, somebody else will.

I work on various components of weapons systems. I got asked something similar during the interview and said that I was just there to make the highest quality products I could with the time and resources I'm given, and that what others may do with them is none of my concern. And yes, I'm a bit of a wacko. People have fucked me over so many times that I don't feel anything for anyone who isn't a family member or close friend. I don't give two hot shits if my work is used to murder children half way around the world.

Washington DC isn't a state retard

Yes, because it was already removed. Obviously, you retard.

When I was younger I had great interviews until the subject of age would come up and then the tone of the interview would change and you knew you were fucked.

Most people "have a life" in the sense that they have friends and go to social events, but they also have a tendency to waste the rest of their time on netflix, gaymes or whatever. The world isn't black and white you know.

Nothing too bad. Long ago when I did web dev, I interviewed for a web role but the interview was conducted by three DBAs. All of the questions they asked were about balacing databases, types of cursors, and junk like that. I know how to write SQL queries, set up triggers, do basic db admin but the deeper DBA stuff isn't what I do nor what the advertised role asked for. I bombed but they still took me out to lunch so it wasn't a complete waste of my time.

>t. LARPing sociopath

Yeah, when the tone changes they should just end it; Most of the time it's obvious you aren't going to get it. Then, you both pretend like something might change the outcome, it's a waste of everyone's time.

That was a p good answer.

how does age kill your chances?

In my 3rd year of CS, I went to the corporation for an interview, since I was kind of expecting to get an easy job there. Changed my mind when the "team leader for the project", after like 20 minutes of retarded HR questions, asked how I didn't have any experience in C#.
I was applying for Java developer position. Never got any questions regarding the actual position I was applying for. And never heard back. Thank god.

>very laid back casual hiring process with a couple of guys starting a company from a house
>20 minutes late because i got lost
>no problem bud it's a hard place to find i know, i got lost my first time coming here too
>we're basically just looking for someone we want to hang around with
this is the point i knew it was over

>simple IT service desk interview in Ohio
>2 people interviewing me
>started out with just a simple introductions "So where are you from?"
>Tell them a name of a back woods town in West Virginia
>black interviewer one replies "Oh they would lynch me there"
>other interviewer looks at her with a horrified face.

I have my very first ever interview in a couple weeks at a major company for a Production Engineering internship (I'm a junior ECE major). How do I prepare for this bitch beside learning everything about the company and the technology that I can? I'm already super excited about the prospect of working for the company since it would look great on my resume since I have a shit GPA.

>had 3 interviews in my life
>got the job every time

Well, if you write "hello world" in Scala, claiming to be "an experienced Scala developer" is just stretching the truth, and everyone does it.
Saying "I've got 2 years of experience in Scala" when you have a few months is lying. Avoid factual statements like that. Keep it vague; when you're vague, you're never lying, only stretching the truth.

>internship
All you need to do is convince them that you are a team payer (eg not a drama queen or whatever) and that you are capable of learning. Being able to think on your feet is a plus.

It probably helps to direct calls to the appropriate department or something. It's thin justification, but companies in USA/Europe etc are really fucking cautious to hire anyone for anything.
Both true. But engineering is more like "entry level position: 2 years minimum experience" and they really won't hire you without 2 years experience or an internship.
That's because interviewers for technology positions are either HR people who know nothing about technology (and pretend to know anything about people) or the interviewer is someone who spends all day doing something technical (like a sysadmin or developer) and has no interviewing skills. So you won't see someone who has good interviewing abilities for these kinds of jobs.

Morons. That company sounds like one of those game devs who puts out a shit product during early access and "releases" the game too soon, only to never touch it again.
>There's overhead in hiring somebody
Not that much. Unless you can explain to me, more specifically than "muh time is money".
If companies spent more time hiring and firing, and less time evaluating who to hire at all, everyone involved would be happier. Even people truly inept would get hired and fired in a vicious cycle, but at least they could find intermittent work instead of no work.
Sounds comfy.

it is. but money helps. i was a systems analyst / admin for a place in chicago and my boss and i went to meet a potential contract partner. they had this douchey ass of a team lead who told me after the meeting: id rather be mean and lucky than nice and poor. or something along those lines. it was weird. the guy had a sociopathetic self absorbed vibe to him. he bullied his teammates in our meeting and just made me uncomfortable with how much if an oblivious ass he was. eh, people like that are out there...especially in business and management. yes money is nice, but life isn't just about $. gotta have some nice experiences and friends too.

i have very little experience but i think you have to show how you are eager to learn and that you are a quick learner. for my first internship i think i got it because of those reasons. also glassdoor the company and get those questions answered.
if the interviewer is a lead ask about their bg and what are any tips they can provide for someone new to the field.

I knew someone like this once, my uncle’s douchebag friend who worked as an accountant for PwC and didn’t make a whole lot ($160k) and worked his ass off (50 hours was a light week, usually he was looking at 60-70). Real “no pain no gain” type of guy, if you didn’t give things your 100%, then you were a worthless failure. Until he was permanently disabled in a car accident. Paralyzed from the waist down. Now he laments how much time he spent in an office and how he can never do anything else with his life. I would feel more sympathy if he hadn’t been such a total condescending asshole for as long as I can remember.

Time IS money, though. Not only doing all the paperwork, you also need to pull time from your other active employees to have them ease in the new hire. Unless the person is a catastrophic failure as a human being, it takes at least a couple months to truly assess a person's worth. That can add up to a painfully long amount of time real quick, which is specially bad if you're understaffed and need someone competent ASAP.

Worst ever was Boeing. First interview was an HR ditz that asked a bunch of situational questions about being a good corporate drone.

Second interview was a group interview at 7 am the next day about how well you can bullshit a solution after 30 minutes working with people you just met that are all competing for the same job.

I got an interview for an IT call center position. The interview went normally and then I asked the individual what I thought was a basic question "What do you like most about working for x company?"

He looked at me with a straight face and said "Well that's an unfair question". Later on that road I can see why he froze.

Well no-one really cares that it's x corp or y corp in the end, it's the work that matters.

Not Cred Forums related, but I was young and autistic and interviewing at a small airport.After the interview, I walked out, and a black guy I knew was walking in. The first thing out of my mouth, right in front of the interviewer was "God damn, nigger." The interviewer was black.

Never got a call back

This is true , but if he can't even come up with one thing he likes about working there then that's not a good sign.

I haven't really had any bad interviews (granted, I've only had two non-summerjobs). My first job in IT was a basic local support / sysadmin job.

Interviewer looks at my resume and says "It's hard to ask about your competence because you don't really have much" I keked and told him I'm a fast learner and got the job.

how old do you have to be to have ball like these?

Not particularly, no. It should be common prep to at least think of some reason you want to work at corp x.

I don't understand. Did you ask him what he liks most in working for his current company, or the one he's interviewing for?

In any case, how is that an unfair question?

Over-the-phone interview, the guy asks what technologies I know in networking. I listed a few obvious things... IP4/6 Addressing, Router and Switch config, etc. I basically bombed the interview at that point and the guy was making fun of me for not knowing 5 different "managed networking" software solutions... Looking back I wish I had told him to suck a dick at that point, but I tried reasoning; and feeling "optimistic," neither of which actually helped.

Interviewer asked me some bullshit newage libfag question "what would you do with scissors and a pizza box". It was for a help desk position.

And what did you answer? Make a box out of it to hold all your installation USB sticks you will be needing for the job?

>what would you do with scissors and a pizza box
I was never aware of this thing before your post.
What kind of bullshit is that?

Ah its you again, i remember you from another thread, you're that oversea interviewee.

Any new interview stories to tell?

youtu.be/ewek-6TudOM?t=42

>bullshit newage libfag question
>It was for a help desk position
At least this is what you're telling yourself after failing so badly at such a simple question.

I'd put away the scissors and throw out the pizza box.

Fucking kek, thanks user

>But I was rejected with the reason that I am overqualified for the role and that it wouldn't keep me interested and at their company for a long time
>overqualified
I fucking HATE this shit
Do you think I'd be applying if you thought I'd just move away in a year?

It happens. You want some job to get money to pay the bills, but keep applying to better jobs (one that's in your field/pays better/is more challenging)

Do I have to tell them to wear clothes when they come for the face-to-face interview, too?

If you are too dumb to organize 30 minutes of peace and quiet for an interview, you can look for a job somewhere else.

When i was just a teen getting a job they got me to drop my pants for examination and took some pics of my junk. Week later they told me i didnt get the job

Next week I will be interviewing for a potential remote employee. Yes, I am desperate. Because of the rates that I can afford, nearly 90% of those who applied so far are from South Asia (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh) or East Europe (Russia, Ukraine).

No idea what to expect, as this is the first time I interview foreigners. But if there are good stories, I will share them!

you better have laughed heartily

>What was the tipping point and what were the questions they asked you?
>What has been the worst question you've been asked?(either to show their superiority or just not understand something very simple you've said)

>interviewing for sysadmin role in wintel environment
>interviewer asks me how to prevent local employees from accessing files on another pc
>i answer with the usual "ACL, firewall rules, disk encryption, GPO"
>"i'm sorry user you're wrong. you need to disable file sharing in network connections"
>keep on smiling coz i'm a polite person
>cursing her in my head for the rest of my 30mins interview

Lady was general manager of the place. Piece of shit tried to let me know she was THE person in charge, before i even finished the interview. I ran off and blocked their number once that interview ended.

They asked me if I had any apprehension using a gun and how I would feel if I were to shoot a teenager.

Yo falcon, job scope?

i've been to lots of interviews, and the only times i've gotten jobs was through blind luck and recommendations, none of which involved interviews
i fucking suck at interviews

Ye, I was rejected from higher positions so I think they just don't wanted to hire me or as a man I wouldn't fit into their 3 girls helpdesk team.

Web dev. In all seriousness: HTML, CSS, and JS. I have been looking for a web dev for 3 years.

I've never had an interview where I didn't get the job.

>3 years
Nigga what? Are you offering a shit salary or something?

I will, thanks for the advice, you stupid cunt.

SEA office, SEA salary.

If I owned a Germoney office, or a Burgeri$$$tani office, I could offer higher pay. But I cannot.

Yeah but I mean compared to the average salary for web devs in whatever country it is.

Oh, I am offering a higher salary than the local average.

...and I work with no deadlines: Work gets done when it gets done. Flexible working hours, too: Come in at 9am, or 10am, or even 11am. Feel free to play games in the office as much as you want. Free gym membership. Time spent at the gym is considered working time, so you can go to the gym during work hours. As long as you get your work done, all the above is yours.

And how difficult is my interviewing process?

My current two phone-interview code questions are: "Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13", and "find all the odd numbers between 0-100". In the last 3 weeks, about 100 have applied total (Jobstreet, Linkedin, etc). Of those 100, 2 could answer both questions on the phone.

2. Not a typo.

Next week, we will see what talent we can find in South Asia and East Europe.

>interview for doctorateship at uni
>very prestigeous and shit
>read about it by accident in the uni mailing list
>position hadnt been properly advertised, so you just KNOW they just have the profs personal student cunt ready for the position
>nepotism all around everywhere in my specific field
however, I prepare myself thoroughly, I take me field very seriously. Dig up more or less every paper the prof has ever published, get to know his research front to back
>interview day
>im prepared, bring it
>"so could you just summarize you education real quick for me"
>R U KIDDING ME you have my CV IN YOUR HAND, just take a look at the damn thing will you
>"ah ok i see, so can you just summarize your phd thesis in two or three sentences pls?"
>ARE YOU SHITTING ME, i sent you a carefuly crafted eposé on the whole thing
useless, this guy didnt even look at it, he didnt even recall the title of my thesis at all. his assistant bitches all didnt even care or listen at all. I jump through their hoops, but of course, i dont get the position. They give the three years of funding to some weak idiot who is researching aestetics instead, im not even making this up.

Jesus Christ what country is that?

>>position hadnt been properly advertised, so you just KNOW they just have the profs personal student cunt ready for the position
??? Most positions like this need special recommendation from a professor or two. I guess you can call it cronyism but it's by design.

>what country is that?
According to FizzBuzz, all.

>if he's overqualified, he will leave for greener pastures as soon as possible.
They should simply be ready for that. That's the work culture now and companies helped create it.

I guess I could believe someone not knowing how to use modulo, but counting with for loops is the most basic shit you can do beyond hello world.

Well yes, if you apply for a special stipend that grants you 100% funding essentially for free, thats right. But this was for an actual job position where you teach 2 seminars each semester, do some work for the chair. paid only for 50% while I was supposed to write my thesis in the other half of the week, which is a cuck move already.
However, being the cuck that I am, I even HAD those recommendations, but it STILL wast enough.
Yes, its cronyism and nepotism by design and it pisses me off, not only because i find myself at the wrong end of the system but more importantly because i can SEE how it slows down research by promoting phd projects that accomplish nothing but redoing the same things that the profs in command already did

Pajeets can take the CCNA at a special testing center where another pajeet feeds them the answers. Fucker probably really had the cert. Also the reason certs are worthless.

I managed to do FizzBuzz on a calculator without any modulo, some people are just retarded.

> Recruiter approaches me on LinkedIn for a senior security analyst position
> Tell recruiter I'm nowhere nearly experienced enough to fill a senior role but they can throw my CV in the ring and let's see what happens
> Nail telephone interview
> "could you come in for a technical assessment"

> Go for the 8hr assessment
> I didn't expect to make it this far
> I'm nervous as shit
> "You need to hack through this web app, and then these 4 windows machines"
> All vm's running on a pos laptop
> They give me a pos laptop to work from
> VM's fall over every 20min
> The laptop I'm working on reboots randomly
> Laptop eventually dies

Eventually they allowed me to use my own laptop, the VM's still dropped a few times but managed to nail the machines

Have to write a report on my findings and process

> "user, the resolution of your screenshots were a bit hazy, and your report contained a few grammatical errors (lulwat), therefore we see you more as an intermediate. We would like to make you an offer"

Should be getting the offer through next week. Happy ending, but still a shitty experience

I interviewed well over 50 of people (face-to-face, I don't do phone interview) and I think your questions are pure nonsense. Who are you looking for, a calculator? Also you must extremely dumb to fail either of the question. Just a waste of time IMHO.

If someone is unable to answer these basic questions he is not capable of anything else anyway, so it doesn't rly matter if these questions are nonsense.

I don't think I would be able to quickly rattle those numbers down in an interview situation without any hiccups either, and I have a fucking math degree.
Being able to do basic arithmetic in your head is in no way any indication of your intellect, capability to problem solve, or really anything period.

Chances are someone fresh out of highschool, where they still have to do things like that manually and aren't allowed to use tools, would handle it much better than anyone that's about to get their Masters in Theoretical Mathematics and does the much more efficient thing of automating simple chores like that.

>asked me if I liked keeping reptiles
Did you?

>numbers
I think it's a programming question user, they don't even have to do the actual math, just describe a loop that would do the math.

>Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13"
Screening people using this question will likely filter out good candidates as nowadays people suck at arithmetic. Hell every good developer I hired knows at least one scripting language and instead of doing mental arithmetic (which is prone to errors) would instead write a short script to do that or open REPL and evaluate whatever is needed. That's what I'm looking, ability to program and automate boilerplate stuff. It really worth more than ability to count from 700 to 200 in 13 decrements.

BTW all candidates I interviewed were screened by HR with a list of questions prepared by all interviewers, all of the questions were a bit more complicated than testing person's ability to do basic arithmetic as we were testing actual knowledge in the field. Not all questions required correct answers, basically HR interviewed a candidate over a phone and recorded all of the answers. If the candidate scores high enough then interviewers review the answers and if we recon he is good enough or will be good enough soon then we do face-to-face interview.

If that's what he meant I misunderstood completely.
Just describing a simple loop that spits out the required results would be easy as shit though, should be able to do it even if you are completely new to programming

The right answer is Texas

because thats where my exs live.

>"tell me, who is the most inspiring female in IT sector for you?"
>mfw

LARPing
>I like to write stories while my tendies are cooking.

>I don't think I would be able to quickly rattle those numbers down in an interview situation without any hiccups either, and I have a fucking math degree.
>Being able to do basic arithmetic in your head is in no way any indication of your intellect, capability to problem solve, or really anything period.
Actually it's. If you have IQ you are good with mental arithmetics, or b
>Chances are someone fresh out of highschool, where they still have to do things like that manually and aren't allowed to use tools, would handle it much better than anyone that's about to get their Masters in Theoretical Mathematics and does the much more efficient thing of automating simple chores like that.

Actually ability to do mental arithmetic correlates with IQ. However being able to do that quickly neither makes you a good coder / developer and nor grants you ability to master coding / programming quickly. There are other more important aspects which interviewers should concentrate on.

>Actually it's. If you have high IQ you are likely good with mental arithmetic.

The deeper into mathematics you go the less you do any simple mental arithmetic like that.
Subtracting numbers quickly in your head is simply practice, any idiot can learn it through nothing but repetition, or are you going to tell me that fucking cashiers are of exemplary intellect and some of the smartest people you could hire just because they could do those two tests in their sleep?

Cool story brobeans

>If you have IQ you are good with mental arithmetics
Simply because those IQ tests all feature it. """IQ""" is an absolutely retarded concept with an even stupider way of measuring it and no one actual intelligent would ever think to even bring it up.
It's a system made to entertain the masses, to make them feel good about themselves because they can clearly and plainly see how they can get smarter and become "better people".

I only been to one and somehow I passed. It was for an internship, though. Dev asked me if I program in free time and what languages I use and I said that I fuck around with Python and sometimes Java but have no big projects because everything I really need is already made. I also said that I made a small game in Python which didn't function properly. At that point I though I failed but they seemed to like me so I got the position. What are employers really looking for? The whole situation got me a bit confused.

As someone who hired interns, i can tell you that in most cases i would just look the person's resume, talk to him or her for 10 minutes to get an idea what to expect of you in the future and if you have at least some experience in the field you are probably set.
If you are 30 minutes late to the interview, act like you don't give a fuck or lie to me a bit too much and you are a goner. I'm okay with people lying to me, but you gotta lie just enough for me not to nail you to a cross.

Interns got it easy. For a huge interview the process if far more difficult and demanding. It's also a game revolving around getting a candidate you want to be hired not to shit himself after he got 90% of the core questions right.

Oh, that makes sense, then. I mean there's not much you could get out of an intern anyway except an open mind and discipline. Say, if I went to an interview for a position that isn't an internship, how and what questions would you ask? I assume you would give some fizzbuzz for him or her to solve, too? How important is previous experience and how much would he or she would need (I'm talking entry level dev/tester job)?

>start-up company in a big city
>go for entry level soft/eng role
>get a phone screen interview from one woman in same city
>get another interview request from some pajeet woman in Singapore
>she wants me to come into the city for a 15 minutes screen
>whatever, it'll probably look better if I get to come in
>get to interview, no info on how to get to office, start riding the elevator and text the interview asking if I should wait in the building lobby
>no response for 20 mins I wait
>pajeet Singapore woman strolls in with CEO of company, have to ride elevator with them
>trying to keep it together but know I am tanking, this is my first interview in a while
>start interview, interviewer doesnt have and has not seen my resume.
>I give it to her, scans it for a sec, and says to me "well?"
>"uh, would you like to hear a little about me?" - me
>"uh... Yeah that's what I asked" - interviewer
>fuck.bat
>continue shitty interview, its only 10 mins out of 30 but she is already trying to push me out
>nothing to lose, might as well waste her time and ask her a bunch of questions
>ask her something stupid like "what qualities would make someone answer ideal candidate...?"
>flustered by my rapid fire questions, blurts out the first two words that come to her mind
>"Uhh, sheer intelligence..."
>instantly laugh, I can't help it. Thank her for her time, and nope the fuck out

It's a struggle not to let my mask slip, when speaking to an HR bimbo, who was hired bc she knows the boss. usually graduated sociology or some bs degree. what's the point of this part? none of this can be verified and just passes on the best lairs to the next round

> so user why do you want to work here?
I don't, but I don't want to be homeless either

> so did you hear of us?
I sent my cv to bunch of different companies that popped up after constraining search results, I never heard of you before and I probably never will

> what do you do in your free time?
it's none of your fucking business

> Screening people using this question will likely filter out good candidates as nowadays people suck at arithmetic
he is literally asking them to write an elementary for loop

They are literally just trying to screen out edgelords and people who lack the tact necessary to give polite but untruthful responses to those questions. Just say you like hiking and give Batemanesque responses to the standard bs questions that always come up or you'll never make it.

Hollywood?

Open the box and see if theres any pizza inside. If there is, I'd cut myself a slice with the scissors.

I'm taking an Intro to Java class atm, I just learned how to do simple loops. How the FUCK can they not answer if they are applying.

this happened more than a year ago
got invited a new company
after an exam and a HR interview
then into the interview by a senior project manager
he gets in asks me about my undergraduate thesis
doesnt seem to pay attention
throws unattentive negitive questions regarding my works
constantly checks on his phone whenever i answer
interview finishes
HR told me i can only be on their lower level position as the project manager does not see my skills are adequate
> fuck i don want this shit
thankyou ill think about it
> im out
year later, rumors from my collegues who worked at that company that the company is going down the trash.

My bet is Singapore or Malaysia.

I've never, not once, applied for a job and didn't get the position. The one time I didn't was my choice because I thought the guy in charge was an idiot so I didn't go to the 2nd interview.
I don't get what's so hard about job interviews, it's basically just you selling yourself. You need to talk about what they can benefit if they hire you that's all. So don't talk about what you want, talk about what you can offer instead.

I never ask fizzbuzz/count/string manipulation questions during the interview.
And there is no such thing as a "juniour dev" anymore, not in webdev. Your "junior" badge doesn't reflect your level of skill in programming. Juniors are just newcommers, who are yet to master every little quirk of the project or how things are done in company as a whole. Most senior devs are there to provide management, baseline architecture of a product and to communicate with other branches of company. If they touch the code once in a week, that was a pretty quiet week indeed.
My point - if you are going to get a junior position in a webdev, you will be expected to have a pretty good portfolio and near-absolute understanding of the language and framework you are required to use. Sad, but true.

Hi. I just learned javascript last week

var end = 200;
for (var start=700; start > end; start=start-13) {
console.log(start); // I know the variable names are stupid
}

for (var i=0;i < 100;i++)
{
if (i % 2 == 1) {
console.log(i);
}
}

>...and I work with no deadlines: Work gets done when it gets done. Flexible working hours, too: Come in at 9am, or 10am, or even 11am. Feel free to play games in the office as much as you want. Free gym membership. Time spent at the gym is considered working time, so you can go to the gym during work hours. As long as you get your work done, all the above is yours.
whoah, do jobs like this exist for back end development? I could live on like $10k/yr in addition to my investment income, maybe less in a 3rd world country

Worst one I had they asked me questions and I answered. They gave me an offer on the spot and I accepted but I didn't want the job there so I chose another place

A coworker of mine said she had a side job in which she was making good money and she could get me an interview so I said fuck it and took a shot.
I knew it was bullshit as soon as I walked in and everybody was younger than me.
First thing the guy starts asking is personal questions which he quickly turned around talking about how I could do all these things with the money I could make with them.
After a while I had to stop him to tell me what the damn job was which turned out to be debt management, I asked him some basics about what the company plans on doing once the hit the normal threshold of 2% of the population in the town and what they're goals moving forward would be and he completely was dumbfounded at the idea that you would run out of clients.

You shouldn't be anywhere near a fucking sysadmin role if you can forget what mx records are...

Depends what it was. Friendo was probably exaggerating and it was a firedog geeksquad thing

>him or her
>he or she
your vagina is showing
just use the less pathetic "they" pls

Unless it was a junior internship role or something, the absolute basics of public IP connectivity should be a given, if it was a hardware only (not sysadmin) position it would be fine.

How do you feel about paying someone in north america for the work?

What's the pay and roughly how many hours of work/weekly do you figure?

I'm looking for side work for some extra money.

Ya I bet it's not very hard to get a job making tendies at McDonalds

"Why the fuck do you think I applied for this shitshow? I'll write code that kills those fuckers better than any fucker has been killed in human history."

Never really had a bad interview, although phone screenings with pajeets and pajeetesses are awful because I cannot understand their poo accent combined with their shitty mic

nah, i'm an overly cuck brah.

>walk into cellphone repair shop
>small town, three repair shops, not including staples
>shitskin in back, big white guy in front with beard
>assume I know who the boss is immediately
>inform him I'm there for the interview
>I had no money for so long I had to cancel my cellphone's service just to stay out of debt so our first interaction was over skype with my microphone and headset
>quality was shit so I couldn't quite make out the accent
>get pointed to shitskin in back
>he's the boss
>ah
>smells like grease
>shitskin proceeds to rant at me how god damn fucking successful he is, and how much money he has
>takes me into the parking lot shows me his shitfuck 1000 dollar jeep beat to hell and full of garbage, claiming he's only using it to save milage on his "luxury BMW"
>right okay but what about actually working here
>asks me about my own phone
>assume this means I should rattle off my phone specs to show I know what I'm talking about with cellphones
>one plus threefiddy
>its pretty good, considering I only paid 300 syrup dollars for it
>shitskin whips out his iphone7+
>proceeds to rant about how great it is and how terrible android is and how awesome his iMac is
>y-yeah I sure do love apple and the only reason I don't have 10 gorillion shekles invested in the ecosystem is because I'm sooo pooor haha
>ha
>so about the job
>fucker actually gives it to me
>part time 14 smackers an hour
>sure, why not, better than n33t
>its alright for about a week
>iphones are built like lego, turns out
>eight ish screws and some tinkering and done
>white bitches drop their phones like twice a week with no case and pay 200 per screen
>all good
>he starts bitching about me needing to post about the shop on instagram and facebook
>w-what
>then I suddenly need to design his store's website
>then I need to spend 3 hours unpaid every day doing full documented study on social media
>dude what
>rants at me for not wanting to bring work home and how poor I'll be without that
>okay bye

I once got asked to do an assignment that I had to finish at home. I spend 3 days on it (blood, sweat and tears) and when I turned it HR called me and told me that the vacancy was actually already closed 2 weeks ago, they just forgot to update the website. mfw.

You're actually mentally handicapped if you think this.

Send them an invoice for your time, and if they don't pay, take them to small claims court.

I was too scared to even do such a thing back then. I would probably have stuttered on the phone and hung up in embarrassment.

Interviews are such a waste of time. Even phone screenings piss me off. I always cut straight to salary range, regardless if I'm talking to HR, managers, or recruiters. Probably costs me some interest from some prospective employers, but the net time savings is worth it.

It's definitely cost you interest. Not-shit companies tend to have retarded hiring processes.

>see job posted to college board site for software engineer
>email the guy my resume
>checkout his website
>its a horribly shitty CMS website advertising a consulting company
>guy gets back to me asks to do interview at fancy hotel bar
>fuck it free food
>talk to guy for a bit an he is oblivious to everything tech related and that instead of pay I'll get stock (it was a consulting business btw)
>says I he'll get my food and drinks
>order most expensive steak and some whiskey cokes
>mentions that he interviewed some people at applebees the day before and it was awkward because his ex-gf was working
>proceeds to go on 30 min rant about how his ex-gf broke up with him because he was a loser best buy manager and wanted to prove that he was a winner like the guys from "Billions"
>decide to leave when he asks me if I want to do shots
Guy was a fucking mess but damn that was an interesting couple hours

>friends too
"friends" from work...

>>"tell me, who is the most inspiring female in IT sector for you?"
you should answer "you are", especially if it's a guy asking

Were you interviewing at geek squad?

Here's where you can write your creative stories

If you're getting every position then you're not aiming high enough.

People like us who are getting rejected are actually punching at our weight.

I mean, whatever helps you sleep at night I guess.

What a fucking retarded post. Bring a knife to your throat and slice.

I've gotten mixed advice about student internship interviews.
Some people have told me that knowing the basic prerequisites and quickly researching the company beforehand is enough to get the position. But others have said I should treat them like exams by studying data structures and practicing programming problems non-stop.
Obviously it depends on the company, but is it worth it to study like a madman just to be sure?

i was thinking about doing iphone repair part-time. i don't want to meet craigslist people at my house to change phone screens. i was worried about some shit like this because i know how working for pajeets goes already

> Dumb friend who can't program for shit works at P&G
>Recommends me to apply due to high salary
>apply for Software Engineer Intern
>Step 2 online questionnaire about inane social bullshit, not even an interview yet
>Answer like a golden heart normie
> Denied

Thanks

holy kek user my sides

user... they teach you that shit in compsci 101.

wondering htis too, might have to get some dumb internship this summer or next year.

Let me give you my flow of questions, as I pose them to the candidates. My wording may be slightly different from interview to interview, but the overview is the same:

Q1: What is your programming experience?
Q2: What was your favourite programming project or task?
Q3: What programming languages do you know?
Q4: What is your favourite programming language?
>I always start with all the above, to help gently guide the candidate into their comfort zone
Q5: I would like to ask you a couple of programming questions. Is that ok?
Q6: Using your preferred programming language, count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13

What more am I supposed to do to make this easier? Buy them donuts? Send them for a 2-month programming bootkampWithKarlie as part of the interview? Hire a mariachi band to play in the background to keep things from becoming too tense? What?

FizzBuzz was right. 99.5% of those applying to programming jobs cannot program at all.

CANNOT.

PROGRAM.

AT.

ALL.

Lie and get invited to the interview
Don't lie and let the pajeet who lied get the invitation
I wonder what should i choose

This is comforting. A recruiter came to our uni, he mentioned only 1% of applicants get through their hiring process and that most of them don't make it past the white board interview. He seemed perplexed by it.

I really want to get hired on at this place so I've started reviewing all the fundamentals, data structures, algorithms in a couple different languages. Hopefully that will put me ahead of the other 99%. It sounds like people go to these interviews without studying. Admittedly most of the stuff I learned in my data structures and algorithms class is not on the top of my head anymore

Wow these are surprisingly reasonable. Are most interviews like this?

I do not know. The interviews I went to (as the the interviewee) were all very nice. But I live in Asia, and almost everyone is nice. Your experience might be different.

So you won't hire me?

If you haven't claimed experience with DNS, and were honest and not mad or evasive in your answering that you didn't know, it probably didn't make a difference.

Now, if you've listed 10 years of managing BIND servers on your resume, they'd have laughed you out of the room at that point.

>working for free
what a cuckold

>not knowing what a gibibyte is
windows plebian detected

that macho religious ego bullshit is so toxic.

guys think theyre"tough" for being overworked, underpaid and not having a life. sometimes women too but mostly guys.

when you actually dissect their life and situation, you 99% of the time find a large amount of luck, cheating or general scumbaggery that got them where they were

they need to feel superior to others so they convince themselves that theyre special and are so important, theyre carrying the planet on their back like atlas. in reality, theyre just being bent over by their corporate owners. not only are they slaves but theyre actually proud of their slavery.

but once reality sets in like your uncles accident, they learn very quickly whats actually important and how life actually is. its just a tragedy that theres no way to communicate this before they get an accident bc they force this shit on the rest of us and now look at america. shit healthcare, unaffordable education, depleted public services, gig economy, longass work weeks where youre expected to be oncall 24/7 and so on. if i had a penny every time some asshole told me to """"work harder"""" or get a 2nd job and work 80 hours per week to pay off student loans, id actually have enough to pay them off.

this is a huge part of Cred Forums culture btw. cuz of all the right wingers. there will prob be 20 replies to this comment about going into a trade to avoid school loans

How about don't be a faggot and get the equivalent of a mortgage in what you hope will be a career.
>durr look at how le smart I am
>haha dumb republicans
>Bernie please forgive my student loans!

They interviewed you to say you weren't qualified and so they could hire H-1B workers instead.
uscis.gov/working-united-states/temporary-workers/h-1b-specialty-occupations-and-fashion-models/combating-fraud-and-abuse-h-1b-visa-program

don't mistake td/facebook invaders for Cred Forums culture

Reminds me of my own experience with a Black interviewer. It was for a shitty sales job, which I had initially thought was a telemarketing job, but the job listing was very vague. Anyway, I was only one of the three people who got to the office early. The two other people were black women. The interviewer led us to a room with rows of chairs and proceeded to give a long speech. Because I was shy, I sat far away from the women. When the time came for us to sign some forms, the interviewer gave the women pens but completely ignored me. His contempt for me was obvious in his face, though the expression was very brief. At that point, I realized that he thought I was racist. Eventually, every interviewee left. I left too. A job with no base salary isn't a job and a paranoid manager would be a pain to work under.

If you don't get hired right out of college, you're doing it wrong.

STAR?

lmgtfy.com/?q=star interviewing technique

Shame on you, user.

My 100k/a job (that's a lot in here) had a interview purely consisting of these questions. I got the job but felt quite bad about the interview afterwards before getting the call that I passed that part. My whole hiring process went on for three months and consisted of at least four steps that I know of.

Easy, this is the answer . For the record I've served in the forces and they asked a few questions like this before recruitment, e.g that am I ok with killing people in the defense of our country and having a dangerous job etc

Sorry for you user. Truth to be told I think everyone feels kinda bad before the interview, I know I always did but I got the sweet cushy career job in the end. Wish you the best

Dont call us, we'll call you.

Okay thread, i got another story for you.

I'm an Automation QA monkey. I write tests for Web, databases, web services and so on, even some C++ emulation for desktop applications and terminal sessions for IBM AS400. If you ever worked in that field or ever maintained at least somewhat complicated pipeline, you know how painful it is.
Writing mocks, maintaining tests, configuring and getting environments up to date regularly, all that shit.
All i want is to get a dev position. I've done my fair share of developing, but it was a very niche thing (monitoring/config deployment in Python and JS for a big local ISP), but i don't have a cool badge in my portfolio to show off to HR, thus i always get ditched before i get to the tech interview.
So, i managed to get an interview for a C# web dev. C# is my second favorite programming language, so i was pretty confident going to the interview.
It started alright. What's SOLID, fizzbuzz level mathematical problems, couple of optimization problems, a very simple route implementation task, aced it all. Then SQL, simple React questions, mostly about states and how flux works and so on.
And then shit storm began.
They suddenly started asking questions about Python, testing frameworks, Selenium stuff and asked to implement a simple POM in C#. At first i was okay with it, hey, maybe they didn't have a proper AQA people and wanted to see if i can bring that to the table. Fair enough.
Then they proceeded showing me the charmingly bad codebase of their "exclusive" testing Python framework. Then asked me to do some basic WIN32API emulation/manipulation.
By the time the interview was over, they confessed they wanted a AutoQA dude and not a dev. They offered me a pretty good salary, 30% more than i make and about 10% more than average webdev can expect to get around here.
I was furious, and refused them a day later.
Just came here to post after another interview. This shit happened again. It's a curse.

There was this one obnoxious dick on the phone pointing me how I make mistakes from the stuff I should learn my during semester of CS. Fun fact is I never took CS but that fucktard didn't even went through my CV which I pointed as my answer to his rant. Not to mention he didn't call me during scheduled time that was set before, hell agency called me few days after schedule time to reschedule. I didn't even give a fuck about this work and answered the phone out of politeness which was mistake.

Scrape the leftovers and eat them

>Production engineering
is it at FB

not worst, but interesting:
>apply for software engineer position (i had a math degree)
>get email from guy, "hey user you didn't list Java experience but it was required in the posting - do you have any?"
>no, but i've worked with various other programming languages and i would be able to learn
>"okay i'll get back to you"
>a day passes: "hey user sorry, the position was just filled!"
>that's okay but please keep me in mind in case a job opens up that you think i'd fit!
>a month passes: "hey user i can schedule you a phone interview tomorrow with my boss for a systems engineering position"
>i'm not sure what that is but okay
>boss calls me
>"so do you know what a systems engineer is or does, user?"
>no idea
>"how do you list the contents of a directory in linux, user?"
>ls
>"how do you sort them according to XYZ criteria?"
>not sure but i can just man ls to find out
>"why haven't you gotten a job yet, you've been out of school nine months"
>not sure, maybe you can tell me - i've applied for over a hundred
>"i'm looking at your resume and wondering what i'm missing, it looks fine"
>well, there is one employer i'm waiting to hear back from and it's promising
>"oh, i see; if you had to pick between us and them, who would you pick user?"
>i'd pick them
was hired the next day, then left four months later for the other job. funny how this whole job search thing works.

have you tried personal projects?
how about exaggerating your dev experience while understating the qa experience on your cv?

You are actually a huge asshole and unemployed if you don't think proper manners are required for seeing a person that probably has to work with your sorry ass for quite a period of time.

I employed all my colleagues myself, I fired a fat ass because the people hated him being a sweaty ugly bastard.

>Try specifying they will have to write things down when you confirm via email you fucking mong.
Wow, just wow. You are one retarded motherfucker.

>Why would a receptionist need to know shit about electronics?
Because customers come in and ask you stuff about electronics dumbfuck.

>Same reason why companies list 5 years requirement and about 10 other things including a phd in theoretical physics and purple heart medal for a junior js dev position.
If you only apply for jobs where you fit the listings you have no idea how this works.

>Screening people using this question will likely filter out good candidates as nowadays people suck at arithmetic. Hell every good developer I hired knows at least one scripting language and instead of doing mental arithmetic (which is prone to errors) would instead write a short script to do that or open REPL and evaluate whatever is needed.
That is what he wanted. They should do the code you dork.

I'm pretty liberal on shit too, but student loans in the us are so third world retarded it's unbelievable. In every other first world country uni is paid for by the community to keep standards up high. US does not give a shit about education.

>If you only apply for jobs where you fit the listings you have no idea how this works.
other user here; I am too big a pussy to apply for a job with requirements which I cannot fulfill.

lol I think he thought you were asking the candidates to count out loud from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13

you're actually right.
>mostly guys
I think you're right but my mother was like this. Until cancer.

Depends on the company.
I'm assuming US here.

Freshman/sophomore level programs like Microsoft Explorer or Facebook University assume pretty much 0 knowledge of even data structures.

You should do it user, couple months of studying interview questions to make $8k/month is worth.

>questions are not only offtopic, they show a complete lack of understanding of any and all parts of the job I'm applying for
>basically asks why md5 is not a safe encryption method, but they don't at all mean that md5 is not an encryption method

I quit a 250k/y job because my employer violated my employment contract, and hard work and results counted for absolutely nothing and management felt threatened by my productivity so they decided to bully me. I regret the lack of funds but I don't regret quitting at all, I could barely breathe at work and I was stressed out of my mind, wondering when they'd stab me in the back again and if this time it would be a rape claim or something else that will never come off my back.

Moral of the story: the best position is a position with massive pay, just remember to do no work whatsoever. It turns out the only way people get fired in the real world are if 1- the company's in financial trouble (people are fired based on how the boss likes them as a person, not based on work performance at all) 2- if you work too hard and because you're tired you end up making a mistake that brings down the production server for 10 minutes.
Needless to say, the latter can't happen if you do no work.

Interviewer: so I see your Brother in law is the director of the IT department.

Me: It's actually called "Computer Services, not The IT department"

Interviewer: Do you think your brother being a director of this company will help or hinder your work here

Me: It depends on whether people are jealous of me or not

Interviewer: what if everyone was jealous?

Me: I would have to consider that at the time but I think they will like me

Interviewer: I applied for a move to Computer Services it got turned down

Me: oh I see

Interviewer: well I think we can skip over qualifications and personality, welcome to the company. Must be great having a Brother-in-law who is a director. I hope you are both happy together

sure they did, kiddo, was this a summer job last year? What year will you leave junior school?

>if I'm a failure, everyone else must be too!

>I am the worlds worst liar.

I interviewed a pajeet that did the same thing. I work with pajeets and I was hiring for a role in India, so I’ve interviewed a fair number of pajeets. This was a senior developer role so most were actually good candidates, except the guy in question.

The whole time I’m video interviewing him it’s like he’s reading book reports back to me.

>tell me how you would architect a ci/cd pipeline using Jenkins
Guy proceeds to give me a book report about what Jenkins is and what it does
>cut him off, ok tell me how you would use git hooks to trigger Jenkins builds and th n how would you deliver the binary to a production server
>dude starts giving me a book report on the very basics of git
“Git is a version control system, blah blah blah”

Weirdest interview I’ve done

Sounds like RoR quality to me

Not a interview but in a questionnaire thing one of the questions was

>What have you've achieved or built that you are most proud of?"

>mfw it took me a solid 20 minutes answering it

Florida

>being this angry that not everyone is a failure at life
lmao butthurt

I've applied for a simple entry-level Software QA position where I was supposed to mostly perform functional tests and write test documentation. At the interview they asked me how much I know about writing scripts in Python and automation testing. It turned out that their Recruitment Specialist used a bad template for the offer and they actually were looking for Automation Engineer.

Fuck HR.

>QA
>exist
QA has disappeared 4 years ago completely and was heavily phased out starting around 2007. You should have known.

>brings down the production server for 10 minutes.
Where do you work that this would get anyone, especially someone high-level like you, fired? This happened routinely places I've worked. Sounds a little unbelievable. Not even entry level technical employees are very expendable. It's considered a very expensive investment and most companies will do a lot to prevent losing that.

I showed up to a compaby with a completely wrong idea of what they did. Not a little off, more like absolutely wrong. A friend of mine had told me what they did, but he was wrong. I can tell the story if anyone wants.

Almost nothing is documented. You're the new guy and after a week contacting people in circle to finally get to the one guy who knows how to deploy to the test environment, you're told to drop in a file the guy sent you, change nothing (you're told it's very important to change nothing), and run some exe. Turns out the guy sent you the deploy-to-production setup file, but since every setting is obfuscated by undecipherable and unlisted, fucked up abbreviations of codewords (!), you could never have known anyway.
True story, didn't happen to me though. It was a colleague.

As for me, the team I worked with had NO test environment WHATSOEVER. Testing meant sending a script to some EXTERNAL team, and they'd deploy it to production directly, while not performing any integration tests (and we have no access to the entire pipeline, only our part of it). Of course when their deployment, which includes changes from us and from other people as well, with no integration testing, causes a failure and the server is down (because fuck transition, bring down the whole server before knowing if you'll even be able to deploy #YOLO), they blame you. I didn't actually get fired for that one, but it did happen to me. I didn't get fired for it because I spend the next 2 months proving time and again the failure wasn't on our end (turns out one of the other teams hit a dozen memory leak bugs in the backend, it wasn't even technically their fault either). At the end they blocked us from submitting more than 1 change for deployment at once anymore regardless of all this.
It was a close one.

Actually there is a shit-ton of jobs in software testing where I live. Everyone in the world is so fed up with pajeets that slavs became the new cheap monkeys for this kind of jobs and due to shitty currencies in eastern Europe it's a pretty high pay role.

That's pretty cool. Hopefully this catches on quickly. Sick and tired of every piece of software being a broken piece of shit, too.

Perhaps it was just asking a seemingly impossible question (or one without a clear correct answer) to see how you'd respond when put in a difficult situation. The right answer probably isn't any state in particular, maybe it's just to see how you value assets and how you would make decisions between them.

Although I agree it is a bit of a shitty question and you did your best.

the HR hiring made me take an online IQ test

>Worst Interviews You've Had?
>"Hey, convert a number to binary in C++..."
It was a simple problem when I looked it up but I flubbed it pretty hard. I forgot to brush up on my number theory before going.

>"Tell me why you're qualified for this job"
>"I can do computer part replacement in my sleep"
It was an garbage tied IT role. I needed the money badly, but the receptionist telegraphed pretty clear that she was getting her bf the role. The standard HR questions were so bad it didn't even make for good practice.

Being an interviewer for intern level positions is suffering.
>"Yeah, so at this point, I would like to ask you some technical questions. Tell me about primitive data types in C++ and the scenarios you would use them for."
>the bar has been lowered this much heyzeuscristo
>*click*
>"Hello?"
Turns out the call ended. Tried calling him back to quickly realize he panicked and started refusing the calls.

There is a line of reasoning behind being a hard nosed bastard at interviews, but that sort of thing is more about testing character than competence. Doubt the autismo knew that.

You don't have to work hard, but you still have to pay your dues on certain things. Still, that guy was a clear asshole. Killing yourself to live isn't living. Been coding professionally long enough to know that suits will use and abuse programmers without thinking about it until they quit.

If you live in burgerland, it's illegal for an interviewer to ask you how old you are. If they ask you and choose not to hire you, you likely have a potential lawsuit for discriminatory hiring practices

man, no matter how mad you were why would you ditch getting 30% more money and still being able to look for your desired position

Hey lads, I applied for this I.T Support job for the heck of it while i was mass applying for jobs and i got an interview and gonna be assessed on the day in a week, really I don't know fuck all about IT support besides basic normalfag shit so should i just study on the shit they want and see if i can bs my way in?

Probably the one I had today at a big corp for .NET monkey position. 1 hour of non-technical bullshit after not sleeping at all at night due to alcohol WD.

Guess I did alright, despite freezing when asked about good supervisors. Couldn't think of SFW answer on the spot for some reason. Good thing I'm completely indifferent about the job.

>tfw the interviewer is your ex that you cheated on
Most awkward interview of my life

next time charge them 1000 dollars for your time

Are you by chance the same guy who denies that IQ is science over on /sci/ in every thread, unasked?

IQ is one of the cornerstones of psychology. It is well researched and cross-culturally valid and reliable. No matter your personal opinion of it, but the IQ measurement is a high predictor for many things in life, such as personal happiness, success in the workplace and level of education.

Typical millennial attitude. This is why the older generations wonder how we wipe our own asses without their help. It's not the interviewer's responsibility to ensure the professionalism of the candidate. In your place, they can find a million Pajeets whose body shops have coached them on every detail from their greetings and background noise to what socks they wear and probably even have a guy on another line feeding them all the answers. They don't need you.

...

I usually don't reply to tripfags but since you're an HR drone fucking eat it. Do you think I give a fuck about an HR piece of shit calling me? It's not important at all. There is always another job. No need to be at eye level with somebody that sucks cocks for breakfast.

You wish that would be a reality. Except you will need to apply for a visa, financial sponsorship as well a guess justification to hire those guest workers instead of natives.

Unfortunately for you Mr Sheckelsetin, people are getting wiser and demanding to be paid their price in full worth. It is the end of the ride for you and your ilk, you ain't getting the easy ride anymore and no we are not going to victorian working standards anymore.

Well?

>HR hiring made me take a fucking deviant art teir personality test

>playing right into HR's hands
Their whole job is to protect the company from people who can't handle themselves. Sure they may be insufferable but labor laws can make it difficult or expensive to bounce bad actors.

>HR hiring made me go through a cyoa waifu generator

Depending on the position this might actually be a good idea.

> hiring for junior linux admin
> Guy comes in with 5 page resume
> start asking him about his experience
> "I've used GoDaddy before"

Suffice it to say, he did not get the job.

I have another one for you:

> hiring for junior developer job
> developer brings in nice resume
> He also brings in some "sample code"
> I start looking through sample code in just a 50 page print out of jquery source code
> doesnt know what functions call are, encapsulation, polymorphism, etc.

He did not get the job.

>sample code
>printed out
haha what

I've brought sample code to my interviews; before I knew about GitHub. But guy literally tried to claim jQuery source code as his, lol.

Fucking damn, dream job right there.
Hire me pls.

>candidates are retards and cannot count down from 700 by 13
>there are millions of pajeets and Slavs that have high skills and will take your job

Which is it lads?

Guess you didn't want that job after all kek

Are you retarded? You sound impossible to work with, I wouldn't have hired you either, but keep telling yourself that nepotism is why you didn't get that spot

“Only noobs die”

>single no kids at 27
R u me right now?

Anyways I’m glad. If I got a gf now it’d likely be a 7/10 due to my income. I’ll wait until I’m 30 and get an 8+.

> working at crappy job that is moving embedded code base from c to python/cython
> start looking for new job
> get a screener call during lunch
> cant take it at the office as there is literally no privacy
> cant take a walk outside because near airport and its -30 C
> take car a drive away to alley
> take phone call
> "ok user, im just going to ask you math riddles and see how you do"
> wtf.. ok ..
> work through most of them but not doing very good
> "ok user we'd like to have you come in for a technical interview"
> come to their office the next day
> walk into room
> the tech team consists of all 300 lbs land whale, fully neck bearded hipster, and a dork wearing bottle cap glasses
> they ask me riddles AGAIN!!!
> while answering they start arguing amongst themselves
> sit back and watch
> hipster calling everyone names
> dork in glasses talked over
> land whale making no sense
> after they argue to the solution themselves they look at me, "any questions for us?"
> lol wut, i guess ill take the risk and work here
> first week, realize i made a mistake
> whenever there is a software defect the team argue about it hour upon end
> literally sat in the meeting room from 10 - 12:45 while nothing got accomplished
kill me..

I've literally done this rofl

I'd say it would be a definitive dealbreaker for me working at this place if that's the primary purpose of the project I'm working on.

>> lol wut, i guess ill take the risk and work here

Pfff I’d totally write code for a military contractor thats meant to have lethal capabilities. Somebodies gotta do it, id the pays good im in.
>Ancap-thumbsup.jpg

What was so bad about the old job that made you take such a gamble?

Sounds like they just want to avoid a Real Genius situation where an employee has a change of heart their house gets popcorn laser'd.

> have you tried personal projects?
I made two websites with custom CMS and external delivery service integration for a bar and a small restaurant.
One was running on RoR + ReactJS, second was on .NET Core + ReactJS.
That's about it. I also tried to help out Danbooru/Gelbooru with their RoR-based stack, but i don't have enough free time on my hands to contribute on any noticeable level. It's also pretty risky to list it as an "Opensource side-project activity" in my resume, due to the content present on those websites.
> how about exaggerating your dev experience while understating the qa experience on your cv?
I have no qualms about lying in resume, but i always keep it to the level i can manage during the one-on-one talks.
I'm also a bit fearful that no one will click on my resume, if i remove most of my professional experience. And it's sad too, since i'm somewhat proud of my custom session emulation toolkit for AS400 and my little internal framework for win32api interactions.
> man, no matter how mad you were why would you ditch getting 30% more money and still being able to look for your desired position
I'm a slav nigger, despite being blue eyed and white haired, i am not considered human by the first world countries, so i'm ought to work for 10 to 12 hours a day. I barely have time right now to do anything that can help further my career, if i took an offer it would be even worse, at least for a while.
Do not mistake this for me moping about the unfairness of the world, it's just how things look from my side of the fence.
Thank you anons for your answers. It's nice to know that someone actually cared enough to post a reply.

Forgot to quote (You) in .

>IT company working for banks and programming in some shady Cobol or whatever old as fuck language.

>user, I see in you resume you went to for one year, then went to another. Why did you leave ?

>Well sir, they teached IT as they did in the 80s, and while it was interesting, I felt it was a little...

>Funny story, user, I actually graduated from , and I'm doing pretty good.

>Well, I think the exit is that way?

>Oh nice. Glad to hear you were successful at studying there. I feel like I learned a lot of background there that helped me with
Was that so hard?

It was.
Didn't picture myself working under some dinosaur from there.

Yeah, that's kinda a shock to have sprung on you. Also, what sort of petty asshole basically kicks someone out of an interview because they went to the same school and didn't enjoy it?

Literally nothing. You just need to show the interviewer that if you don't know something, you will not be afraid to ask, and you're able to search for information online if there's nobody to ask.

You probably don't live in a country with an 'old boys club' mentality. Not the guy, but I got my first job via some random fuck that happened to have graduated from the same university as me, except 20 years earlier.

The way it went, I'm pretty sure he had me do an interview just to have some fun.
Never intended on hiring me.
He actually had me do some stupid logical puzzles for half an hour before the actual interview.
Thenhappened pretty much immediately, after he didn't even comment on what I had been doing.
Told me all I needed to know.

I live in burgerland. Plenty of that nonsense here, and I actually got my first job after university because someone read on my application that we went to the same school. I've just never heard of someone being shutdown because the interviewee didn't have the same experience at the same school. He wasn't even shit talking it that much

mfw people believe this

the more kills the better, gotta get that high score
t. American military contractor

"Code can be the difference between just an attack drone and an unstoppable machine of destruction, inescapable doom you have no hope of taking down, which you can only mollify by dropping on your knees and raising your arms.
People will risk their lives, but they will not throw themselves at certain death."

I had to learn Scala a few months ago for work.
>if you write "hello world" in Scala, claiming to be "an experienced Scala developer" is just stretching the truth
Ha, I feel like this is true.

Cause the HR drone didn't like his work, but didn't want to say it; interviews are being recorded, his colleagues are in the same room, etc.

reading comprehension

Come on.
Every fucking language out there is the fucking same.
It's just a question of how quick you adapt.

Ruby isn't the same as C# or Java, you can't apply SOLID principles to it, you have to follow Ruby conventions instead.
Python isn't the same as C, JS isn't the same as Go, even modern front-end JS frameworks are pretty different in their approaches.
On the surface level most (especiall OOP) languages "look" alike, but they are pretty different.

No, they're the fucking same.
If you understand algorithm, it's just a matter of translation.
Only C/C++ is different, because it's closer to hardware.

>being paid to hang around with some other dudes in a big old house and occasionally write code
wtf why the fuck didnt you take it

>singular they
Disgusting. Generic he masterrace reporting in.

>calling objects like ships and women "he"

Exactly the kind of person you want in IT.
I'm afraid they still slip through.

Generic he is for people whose gender you don't know, it doesn't mean replacing 'it' with 'he'.

University job?

I'm asking, because I might have interviewed you. HR is awful, and often will use their own form for the posting, and their own requirements, based on the job title. Our text for the posting and requirements? The candidate only sees those if they get through HR, the first time they meet us.

I am so sorry user.

That's the Future, guys.
Castrated 'males' afraid to fucking even speak, because they might tell something sexist.
You think I'm joking?
Well, I thought I was, then it became reality over here.

Actually generic he is considered sexist iirc.

>mfw my colleague was reprimanded for sexism for saying the equivalent of "programmers and programmeresses" in a mostly informal e-mail
>in fucking poland

didn't even understand the concept of 'generic he'.
I think some idiots were pushing for it in France a few month ago.
Implied changing the very way we communicate, in text, and actual spoken language.
Got BTFOd, but who knows for how long.
Those idiots are relentless, and we, normal people, are just meh.
Come on Poland. Don't fall to the feminist agenda, before you're invadedd as we are.

>Come on Poland. Don't fall to the feminist agenda
Poland has actually fallen hard to feminist agenda, long before USA even had a feminist agenda.
Polish "men" are massive cucks and women are free to do everything feminist that isn't abortion.

It's all because of communism, though not the modern leftist communism that involves human rights, but the subversive actually unironically jewish communism that involves gulags.

nobody cares you stupid roastie
tits or gtfo

No tits, sorry.
I'm a 35 yo white male.
But whatever made you think otherwise seems interesting.

no, but it's at a small offshoot of another company you've heard of.

Life's not about age.

had to re-implement the String class in Java.

problem was, I have been working in Java for a year like by then, but I never really needed char arrays at all. I was also tired, didn't really prep, etc.
so I got sat down with a laptop - but no internet and no Java source either. and believe it or not I could not figure out how to properly handle allocation/management of the char arrays.

It's fine though, I didn't really want the job, it was too serious for me.

I'd get the job.

I got an Interview for a IT Support Manager. (Not Specifically for Help Desk but I would escalate Vendor Specific Help Desk stuff to vendor)

But it almost seems like they want a Sys Admin out of me? Asking about Application Transitions when they have an Acquisition.

Lots of Vendor communication and Management of Hardware for employees too.

How far should I bend over for this?

Funny coincidence, whenever I touch Java I get the urge to overwrite the definition of the String class.

Happened to me a few times too but in C# and Java it's always true that if you have a solid implementation or library (like Apache libs for Java), just don't fuck with it. It works, it's as fast as it can be, etc.

Of course when I got home I knew the answer. But yeah it was a boring workplace. Tons of work, only for a bit more money than the laid back job I got after. I still learnt tons, but at least I did not have to break from the pressure. (I mean student coders had to spend 8-10 hours on live code and shit. It was ridiculous.)

>How far should I bend over for this?
Well, both parties can just cancel the job agreement (not sure about the term but you get the idea), so even if you get hired, you can just leave in 30 days or whatever.

Again:
- Would you like to do X for years?
- Is the pay enough?
- Can you imagine yourself doing thing X after work hours / weekends, whatever? Do you enjoy doing it?

It's like with any job.

I didnt mean that stuff I can figure that out after I get the job.

Pay is Decent for the role and Area,


But I was wondering how people thought of it in terms of how the role sounds. And if it seems like they are going to treat me well and if I can even succeed with those demands being diverse.