/brit/

>not having a Cred Forums pass

smfh

need a Texan gf

>The Mummy (1999), Muslim guy says "Allah be with you"
>The Mummy Returns (2001), Muslim guy says "God be with you"

Ah, yes, very impressive

That is 24bit

creepy granddad

I'm seeing about 32 bits in that pic 2bh

spoiler that hog

...

pretty sure its called mario graphics you absolute autists

this lad on Cred Forums just shot a grasshopper into the air with a firework

this thread needs more dedotated wam

mate of mine fingered her outside a club in austin

lad who has the double F chebs gf giz us a pic x

literally not a bigger persecution complex possible than le white memecide crowd

cheated on the gf again lads

listening to rise against the machine

64bits in that pic

scum

Akiba's Trip lads. Well worth a playthrough if you haven't already.

pics are on my mobile and I legitimately cba to transfer it to my laptop and shop out face sorry mate

ReZero finale was shit lads

bit annoyed, might do a wank then off meself.

>literally not a bigger persecution complex possible than le white memecide crowd

>"user! I baked a cake for you!"

wat do

>literally not a bigger persecution complex possible than le white memecide crowd

fistulating a spunkhole

...

"thats not a cake you stupid BINT"

trying to envision entering the 5th dimension

i cant save no thot

might pour some petrol on my bits and set fire to them

>the antennae bending back because of the acceleration

Remind her that I'm still not into feet like she is and that I'm not going to eat that. then leave so she doesn't feel embarrassed while she cleans up in silence before coming to bed for sex in the missionary position using a condom

Munching on biltong lads

>8-bit

I NEED to lick a girl's feet

feetfetishniggers need lynching

hungry

That image shows only 4

Through the years, I have watched the general of /brit/.
I have studied, trained, and killed within its walls.
And in time, I have tamed it, shaped it.

Nowhere in these threads have I met a man equal to myself… A soul willing to kill in the name of destiny, capable enough to claim what is rightfully his.
Cunning enough to stare death in the eye, and charismatic enough to raise an unstoppable gimmick to conquer all of Cred Forumsalia!

If I ever did meet such a man, if that man entered my /brit/, I know exactly how I would welcome him.

*unsheathes rapier*

fuck i can't imagine how nice that must be to have a chebs gf
my ex has Ds but that's just regular size

jealous of your life t b h

...

...

Need a bf to cuddle

Shan't be reading a word of this

what runt uni is this

me on the left

hamburger university

remember to stay hydrated x

Shan't be reading this.

need a cuddle to gf

>judging all these fat hopeless munters on POF
>even they probably wouldn't reply to me

my runt hole is pulsating with runt energy

that guy doesn't look a hair taller than 5'8

I'll reply to you lad x

>using POF when tinder exists

it's like you hate lovely girls

*shoots a gamma ray up your arse*

business idea: repeal the law that makes holocaust denial illegal so that holocaust deniers can legally argue the theory in an open debate and get soundly BTFO by the heaps of evidence proving it actually did happen

so are white people just going to live in the country in western countries and the cities will be lost to the shitskins and ruling elite?

Should we refuse to stand for the anthem every time we disapprove of something?

>listens to Corbyn once

>lovely girls
what lovely girls use a dating service that is designed for chads to fuck and dump qts?

if a tiger ever leapt at me i'd just wait for it to get close then hook it straight in the jaw

SHUT IT DOWN
H
U
T

I
T

D
O
W
N

*studies /brit/ under a microscope*

>ywn live in Middlesmoor

Totally spies

what's with this makeup holy shit

how the fuck am i supposed to get laid lads... literally feels like an insurmountable issue

its not illegal in the UK or Ireland idiot

best show

the lovely ones lad

not the slags

>laid

FOY

>20 years old
>2 small children

yeah haha....heaps and heaps of evidence....

Once I went on holiday to Canada and this bear comes up to me giving it all of that thinking he's hard so I nutted the cunt straight in his Brown hairy head.

Leafland has lots of gay pride parades you see

its quite nice 2bh

would prefer for them to be a little bit firmer but i'm not going to complain obviously

her nips are sensitive as fuck as well so she likes me having a right go at them

>2 small children

there's your answer
if a girl is using tinder for casual hookups shes not lovely in my books la

what have you found doctor?

How does one acquire a strong jawline?

maybe she had twins

runt

By having superior genetics

shoe polish on the gums. ma told me this when i was a wee niplet

Maybe she's just a slag

it's not exclusively hook ups lad

they're acquired at birth

alpha father required

It will happen one day just out of the blue lad don't worry

I was in your shoes and had essentially given up on trying (not that I really ever tried in the first place cause I'm autistic and terrified of women haha) but one day a little qt came onto me and she ended up becoming my gf

>ywn live in Hawny

Cheers la

strawpoll.me/11253684

strawpoll.me/11253684

strawpoll.me/11253684

important poll lads

please vote

haha still waiting for this to happen to me

If a gorilla ever wanted to go toe-to-toe I would just wait until the cunt swung, block it and chain that into a 64-hit combo, atomising the cunt's jaw

the evidence that exists and held by historians, WW2 foundations, Nuremberg confessions, confessions post-war from Nazi guards and officers, the German and Polish govts and all their archives is a lot more credible than Cred Forums jpegs

normies outside... i can hear them... """""socialising""""

Do not listen to this faggot If you're not good looking, start working on your personality NOW. If you're fat or really skinny, hit the gym NOW.

If you have a shitty face, but a good body and can make girls laugh and feel comfortable you'll get laid pronto.

me at the club
i.4cdn.org/gif/1474223183654.webm

Don't worry lad. Your time will come. I'm a solid 5 on a good day and a 8/10 qt approached me and started a conversation and within a few weeks she was asking me to go out on dates.

was he not wearing underwear?

Most of the deniers I've seen on Cred Forums dont actually deny it they just say the numbers are much higher than reality

Who wears underwear when you're expecting to have sex?

If a lass can't take a fist in her arse then I'm not interested.

what if i'm ..ahem.. a manlet?

the old kravitz technique

maybe use the photo editor on your mobile and just post from there x

theres so little chance of that happenening though

er

That's what I thought. Then it happened to me. Your time will come.

How tall?

almost felt like this was happening to me but turns out she was just being friendly and i felt 10x worse about everything after that lol

me

absolutely cannot wait to restore the great grandads trench knife and get the same etchings as pic related and LARP as a nazi waving it about my house

If a lass can't take a gun to her head then I'm not interested.

stab yourself with it

Holy Fuck.

*lets you down*

If a lass won't be my gf then I'm not interested

Met a 9/10 qt in uni that started to talk to me out of the blue. Told me I had a really nice smile. Kept telling me I looked like someone she knew and showed me a picture of the lad. He didn't look anything like me, but he was easily an 8/10, whereas I'm a 4.

Do NOT understand it.

scarecrow the spirit hunter lives on planet marijuana

five bloody six mate, ready for the abuse but just want advice teebeeaych

someone post the nonce webm where he shows the girl something and does a weird face afterwards

nah there is a lot of outright holocaust denial on Cred Forums, with varying degrees of the Soviet Jews inventing it, to the idea that there was no extermination plan, Jews died in the millions purely because allies were bombing supply lines, which I'm sure happened, but that itself is not the holocaust

mind you, I'm very sceptical of the 6 million figure myself. I'm sure over 2 million Jews did die during this period though, considering just how many Jews there were in eastern Europe and how vigorous the SS were with their extermination policies

I'll shove it up your mothers cunt you vile rat

That is also my height.

Flatmates have the worst taste in music ever
It's like Now That's What I Call Music given human form

Suppose I'll have another wank then shall I

Business idea: Kill every Scot who voted remain

I know it's shitposting but thats the best advice for lads trying to get a girl

ah yes uni

Too many spiders in my room if I'm honest

Are we blairites, /brit/?

Do not try and hit on girls taller than 5'4, it will only make you depressed and discourage further efforts.

that's genocide and I will not allow it

Girls are strange la'

They have a totally different concept of what constitutes attraction than we do

I don't understand it either

>shilling your own post

no, we are nigelites

>Please upload your CV in txt, rtf, doc or docx format. Please note we are not able to accept documents in PDF format

Getting them listening to I had the blues but then I shock them by Bombay Bicycle Club, its the best into music album IMO

Ouch la'

You a paki?

>uploading a resume made on Notepad

creasing

what's wrong with that

What would you do if your son started dressing like a anime girl?

>spend 20 minutes adding each CV segment because it says its required
>at the end have to upload cv

fucking cunts

...

unironically ship him off to a military academy

*collapses onto the floor*

legalise rape

...

bet they just scan it for keywords la

pdf not allowed even though it's literally made for this

One man's purge is another man's genocide. Human rights is an artificial concept that is subject to change over time, and I will not be having any of that lah-dee-dah fairy crap on my watch.

be rude not to on a sunday night ay lads

...more?

corbynites get the fuck out

always thought that a was his daughter lol

Here's my resume I typed up on notepad haha sorry but my only other word processor is Adobe Reader x

Without sound sit's really bad

it's called marriage

>END IT

>Please answer these questions about why you're suited to this role
>Please attach your CV

FUCK OFF FUCKING FUCK WHAT'S THE POINT OF MAKING ME TYPE OUT THESE PARAGRAPHS ANSWERING QUESTIONS THAT YOU CAN JUST GET FROM MY CV ROOOOOOOOO

xfactor contestants are the worst people on the world

>Upload CV
>STILL NEED TO FILL OUT THE FORM OVER DETAILS COVERED IN THE CV ANYWAY
>Employer's auto-read/complete function fucks it up all the time

I wish I lived in a little cottage in northern England, growing lilacs and rose bushes

black
people
do
not
owe
white
people
an
argument

slowly realising that chip can't run out of bars

not getting the job with that attitude lads

bender

>please fill out this application and give a detailed account of your job history
>please attach your CV at the end

Anyone involved in the hiring process here?

Why the fuck is this commonplace?

...

...

seething

Nice dream pierre :)

Maybe one day

come do it x

...

>Apply for some runt tier £30k job
>Go to interview
>Half way into the interview I stand up and say
>"Shan't be listening to anymore of this"
>walk out
>get a call week later
>got the job

ah yes

STEP UP IN THIS BITCH LIKE, I'M THE ONE YOUR BITCH LIKE!

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

ill think about it

cute

I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS
I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS
I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS
I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS
I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS
I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS
I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS
I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS
I KNOW YOU MAN MIGHT JUST RUN OUT OF BARS
>CHIP CAN'T RUN OUT OF BARS

screens out the lazy fuckwits who can't be arsed doing different things for each

nice filename

just found about 3 grams of hash in my dad's room

considering reporting him to the relevant authorities

>a male would like to grow tea roses
>a male would like to grow lilacs
>a male would know the proper way to manage that
leave your delusions at the door

what happened to peruANO?

cuck

I thought you French types were effeminate.

MAJOR KEY ALERT

Americans are dumb.

tell him to roll up a fat one for some father and son bonding :)

haha well b8ed my good lad!
*tips*

>3 grams of hash

?

fresh up outta jail with no job so i steal and rob

anyone jungle in guy?

>His boss browses /brit/
Hmm

err lads

youtu.be/Spe9JbmDOms?t=52m

this doesn't sound too good

you're a top lad m8 x

seconding this

would love to see the chebs

>London
ditched
guaranteed godless twats, do not care what they think

You know what? I'll fuck off then. sorry

>1 hour

Shan't be watching this

>26 years old
>Earn £14k a year

Really pisses me off how many years I spent applying for jobs and only NOW someone gives me a chance

karen danczuk on the island channel 4 now lads

close the door on your way out

...

Life gets worse every year, I'm 28 and a virgin, can't fathom how much I will hate myself when I turn 30, I don't see any escape but death

sorry only I pic I have from the artist

he's set up his art so you have to pay to get the full res pics like a proper jew

*leaves the door open and the lights on*

>danczuk
reeeeeeeeeeeeee we voted leave

Got any mates?

...

hire a prostitute you weirdo

Fuck a prostitute desu

just shag an escort ffs

God forbid an artist wants to be compensated for his hard work like in any other profession

Just get a prozzy to take the edge off. Go on Adultwork, find one in your area, 60 quid for half an hour and you're no longer a virgin.

consumed roughly 79 grams of sugar today

>having the confidence to shag a prozzy

font

>14k
wew, i could make 13k just by being unemployed

Making art isnt a profession its a pass time

eaten roughly 118 crisps today

Fondle a hooker you twat

Yeah because prosititues are real pillars of the community

Sugar is fucking TOXIC lad

I never drink fizzy drinks

Never met an effeminate guy except the gays

does not count as loss of virginity

lovelyhell.com/x-new/lovelyhell/preview/

""""artist""""

melt

i was eating ice cream and chocolate sauce

hate fizzy drinks

...

You cummed in a fanny. It counts, so fuck off.

didn't we have this thread already?

you entirely missed the point of the link

the link is supposed to drop you at 52 minutes in, for the story about a specific cult

>treating the symptom instead of the cause

>having sex doesn't count as loss of viginity

t. virgin holding out for the right girl

pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=117587341

Man or just an uggo???

just drank a whole blue powerade to myself lads, think i might be a little "tipsy" lol

How do I get a cool pompadour hairstyle?

he needs to get the monkey off his back first

>Virginity is special
Ah yes, a Christian

oh
time links don't work on Cred Forums and i didn't see the url properly
not gonna watch it either way though xx

>Love football crazy i know as I'm a girl but hey

shagging an escort does NOT count as losing your virginity

You don't, it's exclusively for runts

pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=100790131

found the gf on pof lads

might msg her as jamal

holy fuck is that sargon

new progress pic lads

What if you refuse to pay her afterwards?

>Finish Uni
>New job middle of no where.
>Work 7 to 7, go to gym get back 8-9 cook, eat go to sleep.
>Weekends everyone goes home, here alone for weekends no friends.

Actually enjoy work because its the only place I get face-to-face social interaction now...how sad.

football crazy
chocolate mad

He needs to jump over this first small hurdle to partake in the race.

hope you can outrun her pimp

*does a flip*

starting to get a bit of a belly on me lads hehe

nice blog, bellsniff

>50 meg internet speed
what did they mean by this?

have to pay up front

they always want paying at the start

GRAB A POWER POD AND PLAY FOOTBALL WITH THE LADS

>those shoulders

My dog has broader shoulders than that!

having to crop it quite a lot to get the face out

i promise you it's true though, just hold on a few minutes x

>gained four stone since the missus left

Probably gonna kill myself before christmas.

still doesn't count cause she only shagged you on the assumption that you would pay

all of you, girls

Looks like the fat guy from Daredevil.

song about shipman
youtube.com/watch?v=_godSE6RJy0

Would you pay the restaurant for a meal before you eat it?

Anyone who pays an escort before she swallows your cum is a beta cuckold

Doing it with an escort/prozzie counts.

Anyone who says otherwise is a nonce.

At Nandos yes

if they say meg, they mean megaBITS
it's just over 6 megaBYTEs

*wishes /brit/ farewell*

50 negs in your pozhole

why not do something about it you lazy piece of lard

Nandos isn't a restaurant. Don't let the cutlery fool you

you're the best la'

will be waiting x

>have 7x5.5 inch knob
>shagged a handful of girls
>70% of them said it was too big and hurting them

I know it's above average but it isn't that big.

Why?

give me (You)s vile little molluscs

Who here has genuinely shagged an escort, how much was it, what was it like

>1 in 2 people will get cancer in their lifetime

fug

I am, i'm gonna string myself up.

they might not have been wet enough

you might just be getting young ones who are tighter

REE REE REE NORMIES FLEEEEEEE

>Who here has genuinely shagged an escort
Me

>how much was it
£150

>what was it like
Good, though it was weir how long it took me to cum during the blowjob. She was really friendly wasn't clock watching at all, got to shower with her at the end even though the time was technically up.

Porn isn't anything like real life lad

The average girl is never gonna come across a footlong willy

just become gay

Join a agency, labourers on construction earn £11-13 a hour on average. Gives you a change to get in with the big companies for a contract job too.

unironically hope its me tbqh

I have this dom that I see once every 2 weeks. £200 a time.

We do stuff that you can't do with an average girl. I'm into anal so I like getting fisted and fucked with a strap-on. We do all sorts of kinky things like that.

Shagged around 5-6. Most of them were just sex but one of them was pretty fucking nice. She was pretty as fuck with a nice body and was really into it. Riding and moaning like a right slut.

Took a shower afterwards and she told me she was leaving the next day and it actually made me kinda sad. I kinda got a bit attached to her, which was silly as fuck.

What are you going to do when the rope snaps because you're a fat cunt?

>using normie unironically
cop onto yourself lad

have a 6x4.5 inch cock and every girl I've been with says it's big even though it's clearly average size and a pathetic pencil dick to boot

why aren't girls honest?

*bashes you in the temple*

practically everyone over 80 will get it

>5.5 inch long dick
>girth of 6.5 inches

ah yes the ol' chode

I'll be dead before I hit the ground. Long drop, lad.

*jumps in front just before you make contact*

I TAKE ONE IN THE TEMPLEEEEE

I TAKE ONE FOR YOUUUUUUUUU

>6.5x7

>"fuck me harder"
>already going as hard as I can

>3.5 inch """"long"""" dick
>afraid to measure girth
ah yes the o'l small willy

to make my knob 6inches i have to jam the ruler right into the base

who else 6 inches

It's just a numbers game, lad. Cells mutate all the time, life expectancy is constantly rising. Odds are one of your cells will mutate in to a cancerous one before you die.

never measured my girth but it's quite chunky desu

me

""""""6"""""" inch master race

>that black guy going on about Waco and Koresh

fucking LEL

Wish I enjoyed socialising

Imagine actually looking forward to meeting people, talking to them, getting to know them, and being good at it too - instead of having to force yourself to make even the slightest bit of contact

fucking hell life would be easy

Pleb tier
Aqua fresh

Ok tier
Sensodyne

Patrician tier
Colgate

because its hard to die of anything else

Do you mean it's a chunk, or it has chunks all over it?

they look great la' cheers x

you're a lucky man i would wife that up

Got a nice bottle of cider on the go

been pooing a lot since that Domino's

I use arm and hammer, bitch.

unironically improves with practice

used to be convinced in my autism but i was mistaken

*knocks it over*

what did you get lad?

you have cells that mutate into cancer cells almost every day but they're destroyed by the immune system

'k off

They wanted it in the arse desu

Unironically got a blozza off a prossy in amsterdam
was a+

My weekends are so intense and lively, then I spend all week wage-slaving in front of computer screens. Can't deal with the volatility lads.

Finna neck mysellf when I think about monday mornings.

...

*picks it up for you*
there you go la

Meatilicious

8" length
6.5" girth

Cum within 2 minutes

I genuinely feel guilty for wasting such a good cock

thankyou lad x

love you too x

janny

Nope.

No that isn't correct.

ty x

consumer.healthday.com/general-health-information-16/biology-and-anatomy-news-24/body-s-immune-system-destroys-would-be-cancer-cells-daily-study-684507.html

hmm... really makes you think

wow she's really stunning t b h

slut in my school had a baby at 17
>pic related

Heh you think thats bad? You ain't seen nothing kid

Girl in my school had a racemixed child at 14

>most slavic pic you've got

>rick owens raf simmons usually what i'm dressed in

sickening la

I wish I was born in a farm house.
youtube.com/watch?v=ubMFcgVinYo