/brit/

>4kids
nonce

browsing the prozzy listings lads

>I also game with my friends, mainly FIFA, Skyrm and Minecraft. I don't own my own system but I intend to when I've finished my degree. Not a huge fan of shooting games though as I find them a bit tedious but I will make an exception for fallout.
>I guess I'm a nerd at heart :)

dropping the ball

she called me a pervert

ah yes, it's an everyone on /brit/ has fantastically large sized penises far bigger than the national average episode

anyone want to go on a date with me?

>Longest Relationship: Over 3 years
mmm no thx x

twisted dough balls which are meh

do tell

Some of the prisoners from other categories who were also addicted to this habit were transferred to them. With one stroke the homosexual epidemic ended. Even though now and then this unnatural activity took place, they were only isolated cases. In their barracks they were so carefully watched that it was impossible to engage in these activities.

I still can remember one incredible case.

A Rumanian prince who lived in Munich with his mother had become a public disgrace because of his unnatural behavior. In spite of all the political and social considerations shown him, the publicity which he brought on himself had become intolerable. He was sent to Dachau. The police thought that his excessive sexual wickedness had made him disgusted and bored with women, and that he had turned to homosexuality in order to get a new thrill. Himmler believed that hard work and the strict life in a concentration camp would soon cure him.

The minute he arrived he attracted my attention without my knowing what was wrong with him. The way his eyes roamed everywhere, the way he jumped at the slightest noise, and his feminine, dancer-like movements made me suspect that he was a true homosexual. He started to cry when the Kommandant barked at him in a very harsh tone as he was being presented to the Kommandant, as all new prisoners were. He didn't want to shower because he said he was ashamed to undress. We discovered rather quickly why, when he undressd. His entire body, from his neck to his wrists ankles, was tattooed wltn pornographic pictures. these tattoos depicted every kind of sexual perversion that the human mind could possibly invent, even, curiously, normal sexual intercourse with women. He was a living picture book. Researchers of human sexuality would have gotten some new and unusual material for their research. During his questioning, he admitted that he had been tattooed in every seaport in Europe and America.

cont.

might fuck an asian prozzie

Yeah they're dry as fuck

Try Papa John's mate you'll love it

>I also game with my friends, mainly FIFA, Skyrm and Minecraft.
fucking casuals

would rather have a slag cock carousel veteran la?

alri rasheed haha x

Shouldn't we just return Gibraltar?

i was being a pervert

First man to deadlift 1000lbs:
Andy Bolton (Leeds)

First man to deadlift 1100lbs:
Eddie Hall (Stoke)

What makes northern english men so strong, alpha, powerful?

they took meateor off the menu from my local dominos
fucked me right up

He became sexually aroused, especially when someone touched him, as when his sexual tattoos were being photographed by the police. All tattoo marks had to be recorded for the state criminal police files. I told his room senior that he was personally responsible for this prisoner and that he was never to let him out of his sight. After a few hours I went to check on this strange character, and I was immediately approached by the room senior, who begged me to relieve him of this responsibility. He said that the newcomer was truly driving him crazy. The prince stood in front of the stove the entire time, just staring off into nowhere. When anyone came near him or just touched him in order to move him out of the way, he became sexually aroused and began to masturbate. I took him to the doctor. As the doctor began to ask him questions about his strange condition, he became aroused again. He explained that since his earliest childhood he had suffered from very strong sexual impulses he could never completely satisfy, no matter what he did. He was constantly looking for new ways to try to satisfy these impulses.

Uganda be kidding me

8" length
6.5" girth

Cum within 2 minutes

I genuinely feel guilty for wasting such a good cock. I would honestly trade my penis for a basic bitch 5 incher if it meant I could last longer

...

only when spain return all of these

got me a gf lads, my first tbqh

is nice, very nice indeed.

you do realise if someone is in a relationship for 3 years they'll have a lot more sex than a single person

could heem both of 'em

NOOOOOOOOOO DOOOOOOOOOONN'TTTTT AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG

>Stoke
>north

I think you need to end yourself and quick

Explain this pic to me. Does it mean that language of Dickenses works consists of purely Germanic vocabulary?

what does she look like user

>Northerners are primitive mouth-breathers

quelle surprise

>this kills the spine

French Creole edition

didn't read one iota of her essay
pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=120035966

84% lad

how do you properly lick a fanny lads

>trying to claim midlands
absolutely fucking howling
stoke is the main part where the north starts

t. true midlander

Congratulations on approval for the gf licence. I passed the theory but failed practical twice now. Think the examiner failed me on purpose.

LADS are there traps on grindr?

With one person you fucking idiot. That's 3 years shes not going to clubs. bars and social events a single woman. 3 years not using tinder, 3 years not racking up sexual partners.

Would MUCH rather a girl that had a bf before me than a girl that had shagged a random guy once before me

When it comes to a partner's past a lot of sex with one person is highly preferable to less sex with many people you fucking cuck

Sister uploaded this to FB last night

Punch it before hand to get it nice, soft and swollen

>user

FOY

imagine if the bar snapped in half and flicked him in the nuts hahaha x

it means that the most commonly used words are of Old English origin

English doesn't even sound French. We don't communicate using all the French scientific jargon we stole and anglicized.

Stokies identify as midlanders

Stoke is not the North, you pakis in London might think that, but then your geography is as shit as your hygiene skills.

yeah I know
but lets not pretend someone whos been in a long term relationship is somehow pure

can't think of anybody she looks like

pretty, in shape, massive eyes, strong jaw line, avg. height.

Sex/sleeping with a gf is quite different to hook-ups, never knew how comfy it could be to fall asleep holding a girl.

You lads should try it.

my gf said she doesnt want to be my gf anymore

dont know how to feel about this

Everyone check this band out youtube.com/watch?v=Wsj7v_TMdEA

...

trannies identify as woman
doesn't make it true
from worcestershire you nonce, stoke is culturally and geographically poorthern

quote me in a fedora post

stoke is quintessentially northern

pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=120035966

mega qt

really hope my flatmate forgives me eventually. he seems so unhappy with life in general and i think ive just made things worse. i dont know what im supposed to do.

would love to accidentally slap her tit out of her shirt

"in a fedora post"
- some belgian cunt

what did you do?

can't get over these divine chebs

looks alright for 31

Been texting this fat girl at work and she wants to shag me.

Just sent me this pic, really don't know what to do.

Considering the north finishes after Barnsley, this is not true.

Will not be taking applications from Midland scum

>oh no i've wasted my 20s on career bullshit and now my ovaries are about to dry up: the profile

Make a post worthy of a 'dora then you cretin

Wish we could have a meetup again, except all the normie lads bring their gfs and let us abnormies have a go tbqh

Literally never heard/seen the term 'chebs' outside of /brit/, think it might be a meme.

Seriously considering becoming a priest

A young hip priest like me could rise fast in the ranks, I could become the pope one day.

>thats her BEST angle

grim

get her to send a lewder one
send her the pic of that big girthy nob on the keyboard and pretend it's yours

hmmmm

I posted this last thread

interesting...

She's as peng as it gets that's for sure

She looks like a large dwarf.

nah don't bother lad
the church is afraid to stand up for itself and its beliefs these days

why yes I am a Yank

>Seriously considering becoming a priest

Takes years and involves learning how to drive a tractor

it's not

last two fridays had people round when he had work the day after, first occasion really irresponsible/drunk, second occasion was supposed to be me and two friends (rang him up and he was ok with it) but they brought others round and were still loud so he's rly annoyed again

and i said after first occasion it wouldnt happen again so its like fuck.

christ

what is a "peng ting" lads?

...

not a fan of negresses 2bh

papists OUT

having a wank

not for me lad, try another one

>6'3, 29 stone

hands off you cheeky cunt

All been downhill in Ireland since they permitted abused women to get divorced in the 90s.

Stoke is in the Midlands. It's never been in the North, you idiotic fucking paki.

couldn't do a plank with 40kg because the top 20 plate would have slid off too easily, so i did just 20kg for 75 seconds x3

k

youtube.com/watch?v=4-jGA_fAWSE

...

ur mum

been using it irl for years
your friends clearly just aren't top lads

Looking for houses on sale in the north east 2bh

>priests but married with kids

FONT

Oh really? Cool

*walks away and talks to someone more interesting*

her head looks like a good place for a bullet

>game starts good
>it turns into poleaboo: the game

she's white enough

I dont personally mind skin colour 2bh

prefer whites faces in general though

best thing about being good looking is getting away with stuff you normally wouldn't.

Just flipped out at my gf for no reason but she kept trying to kiss me and be my friend even though i was being a dick.

man the harpoons

*imagines you having a wank*

did he died?

was this the guy who left the note about having to work at the bar and you fucking up his anxiety

still creases me up

stoke is closer to manchester than birmingham
north as fuck
might aswell be scotland

>he doesn't accept gay priests in celibate relationships

check out this rasheed

what game

nah the abuses really fucked the church here
the useful idiots have unlimited ammo against the church forever now

walked up to some runts qt gf and asked her to be my gf

she said aye

haha runts btfo

>straps
>5 grams of steroids a week
>hitching
>strong
hmm i don't think so hunny

how can you tell if a girl is flirting with you cause genuinely interested or just cause she's finding it fun and shes bored and drunk

what a lad

haha kpop twat posted it again

Who is that?

If she's flirting with you, it's because she's drunk and doesn't know any better

Loser

>he accepts gays of any sort

ask her

priests should be allowed to marry
thats one thing pr*ddies are right about

lel

youtube.com/watch?v=fVL9DSG_M9Y

>ask them if they're flirting with u

...

yeah i never learn, this time i feel like ive been taken advantage of and manipulated by "friends" and now it's just really awkward at the flat again

just gonna get on with it tbf and try not to let it all bother me too much. and not take the piss again

maybe try and cut cocaine out completely cause it's fucking us all up

if you're over the age of 18 and still a virgin, how?

kek

>tfw gf loves me to bits
>she doesn't know she's a practice gf

Feeling guilty, boys

literally the way to caliphates

rasheed

don't get it desu

pinch her arse and she what she does

not
a
clue

try reverse searching

no girl has ever touched my doodle, except for my mum when i was born

>over the age of 18 and still a virgin

Still falling for memes I see

rate my cousin

not had friends since I was 14
n

not a fan

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-35726627

independent.co.uk/sport/general/eddie-hall-nearly-died-after-passing-out-following-new-deadlift-world-record-of-500kg-a7132306.html

looks like hes shat himself or summat ennit

Fucking kek, Ben Caron is such a likeable dude.

He's like that doctor you like, dead relaxed and soothing and makes you feel chill.

don't get sucked in by the practice gf lad

why does my willy get bigger sometimes

...

have a proper chat with him though, don't let it just simmer and act like it didn't happen
dude's gonna be upset, obviously, but it's only gonna get worse if you don't talk about it. Sure he'd appreciate it

what are you on about?
Its unnatural to live in a normal community but not be allowed to marry. Thats a lonely life
I understand monks being celibate but they live in their own secluded groups with other monks for support

ugly

wasnt that from when henry touched his leg, or was it someone else

not sure thats going to go down well, i did kiss her on the neck after she kissed me after leaving pub

Well looks like it's time to take a break from watching NFL and go have a wank haha

cannot wait to see what you'll come up with next

punching above my weight here

Birmingham and the surrounding areas is the only place with distinct enough culture to not fit into either the north or south (even if it is shitty scummy culture)

Stoke, Nottingham, Leicester etc. NONE of you are midlands stop trying to be part of some meme identity

Goal car
25k used

>he fell for the ''chebs' isns't a meme' meme

loooooool

Really genuinely like British culture and that but get out of the north to fuck

pretty grim la
which one is your sis?

>not 23

welp

yeah that's the one

right after it was announced that rodgers got sacked

Fuck off

Why do pakis come to Britain and think they can just start rewriting history and changing geography?

where in the world can I live a wholesome, traditional lifestyle?

i need some good company
so i will hang out with /brit/ for awhile...

hello... this is my first time here how do you do

she's a 6 at best my dude

alri Rasheed

...

mommy 2bh

we did talk about it right after they left on the night to be honest, genuinely felt really fucking bad like a lot of self-loathing. he seemed more angry at the others than me but i still think he's irritated because he'll probably just think itll happen again and again now. i dont know what else i can say really.

all right lad
how's the day going?

fucking classic, think i was in college when i first saw it. started pissing myself in a lecture

africa

why on the neck?

because our british lefty cucks let them

goal body

amish towns

need any help? xx

picture is upside down. if you flip the picture 270degrees to see her face straight on its easy to tell that shes actually very ugly, looks a bit like shrek. you can do better than that

Starting a job tomorrow where one of the senior people thinks Adam sandler is hilarious and actually imitates his lines with his whiny voice

Actually might quit after the first day

Really genuinely like Irish culture but get out of the south to fuck

its really annoying when people re write history to try and make nonwhites feel welcome

Rasheeds buy BMWs

looks like a fucking troll doll

redpill me on the paralympics

2 and 4

i dunno, i was drunk haha. i just thought i'd kiss her back and it landed on her neck. she really didnt seem to care

2

When I was a kid, we used to make fun of BMW drivers because we had a gimmick that BMW stood for "black man's willy"

...

*sits on cold toilet seat*

It's alright mate, my boss literally loves Clinton.

If she came in I wouldn't be shocked if he whipped her pants off, her nappy and colostomy bag off and licked out whatever the fuck Clinton has going on.

Was saying how inspiring she was because she could still campaign with pneumonia and how strong it was.

He's a great guy but honestly, fucking hell

Imagine being one of those people who buy a 03 plate BMW instead of a 12 plate peaugot because muh German whip

been working for 2 months and i've already had enough

trying to orchestrate my exit so i can claim bennies straight away

any ideas?

that sounds amazing actually

if anything, thats another incentive to go to work each day

2 and 6

she's defo flirting with you mate

I like it

fucking mental

what other mad things did you and the masters of banter do?

and Mercs

Rasheeds covet cars generally, v. runty.

I work with women in their late 20s who were unaware that Theresa is PM, didn't know the UK has nuclear weapons and have no idea what trident is, don't know the dates of the world wars, etc

wew

pretty tipsy

Same lad.

Nearly a year in here. Can't get used to the grind. It doesn't seem to be getting any easier.

Genuinely feel like I'm gonna have an American Beauty style breakdown

6,4,2,5,7,1,3

>im not allowed to have nice cars

hm

Theory: you don't get nowhere near as high if you haven't ate much all day because your body uses the weed as food

literally wouldn't respect anyone with that opinion.

we used to catch scorpions and scare normies with them

oh, good to hear you already chatted about it
I know what you mean about the self loathing, not much you can do about that sadly. on the upside it at least means you aren't actually a cunt, as you clearly care about the guy, even if things did get out of hand a couple of times.
tough one though obviously. got no real advice, but it's probably good to get it off your chest at least

if she was my daughter I'd have incestuous feelings about her too

>girl kisses you
>still dont know if she likes you or not
Fuck sake lad are you blind

*enjoys the man sitting on her face*
(btw in this cartoon the toilet seat is a girl. think the movie sausage party but instead of being with food its with common house appliances like toasters and toilets. it'll be called toilet party or something. this particular toilet happens to be a gril so shes obviously wearing lipstick and a bow in her hair in this scene)

smash her back doors in lad

Fuck me that sounds horrible

literally any of them please

WHY WON'T POKERSTARS UPDATE

ROOOOOOOOOOOOO

hmm

spacker

v. interesting

(read: get on the cross)

i want to marry her, shes my soulmate

Absolute slosher

which fug

Who's Pepe, and who's Wojak?

what you drinking?

Wish I had some cannabis

...

Rasheed O'Potato

Fuck sake lads, just had a cringe flashacbk to a girl I dated at uni.

>On a date
>Get drunk
>Ask her 'so why did you actually agree to come ona date with me anyway?'
>'Oh well user, you seem nice and I think you're cute'
>Panic at the compliment
>'Oh wow you actually think I'm cute?'

Anyway lads, how do you accept compliments gracefully? Whenever women say they like my eyes/ hair/ think I look godo I never know how to respond.

>ONLY 18k

>tfw have ditzy thick (no, not thicc, she's a right mong) gf

it's alright I guess

FONT

cider :]

...

>shes been Jew'd
is nothing sacred to them?

Beauty and the beast beat you to it.

kiss her on the pussy to find out

willie ulsterman

>Rik Mayall is dead

Genuinely shocks me every time

...

>that one friend that works as a team leader in retail and buys an Audi on finance

eddie is undeniably pepe

how thick are we talking?

4&8

meh

legitimately looks like a fucking alien

squinty eyed people don't look like humans at all

don't approve of this sorry

I'm calling your mum :\

Does anyone else become really retarded on comedowns?

Just spent like 10 minutes trying to open a domino's sauce and then spilt it everywhere after I opened it

I literally agreed with you

hopefully he gets laid off for being such a runt

imagine her wanking you off

hey lads, got a joke

what did the buffalo's mother say to him when he had to leave?

"bison"

8

too fat

Mick thick.

didn't know the difference between Native American Indians and Indians from India

she thought they were all the same

howling

Don't think I could deal with having a mong gf desu

GOD TIER:

the vixen with the glasses
girl with white iphone

HIGH TIER:
girl with the shapely ass next to the girl with the iphone
AVERAGE, KIND OF CUTE, BUT NOTHING SPECIAL SPIC GIRL TIER:

the rest

I used to struggle too, just smile and make a joke about it, or reciprocate if it's appropriate.

cheers mate yeah it was, that last post was really helpful because i dont wanna give the impression that im a complete irresponsible inconsiderate cunt. it's only been 3 incidents since we lived together (3 months). but i think there's other stuff thats piling up in his head in terms of where his life is going (mines going well in comparison...) plus i havent been pitching in as much in terms of helping round the house - we've both been making more of an effort.

thanks for replying

>all have dark or dyed hair

D-D-DROPPED

all of them

not good lad

I hope she is qt enough to make up for it

>he thinks we answer calls from 0151 numbers
SCREECHING

>be me
>go on /fit/ because Mr Olympia is on
>ask what I'm meant to be seeing
>CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS? THE PINNACLE OF MUSCLE DEVELOPMENT!!!! OMG
>how is it the pinnacle when they literally can't do anything with the muscles I ask
>OMG GET OUT GET NOW REEEEEEEEEEE NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT PICKING UP GIRLS?
>wat

/fit/ is a pretty sad place, best I keep away I feel.

Rik Mayall was more Wojack, pepe is more Ade

> Irish
>White

Kelvin Benjamin putting up some points for my fantasy team

that would be wonderful

cheers la' x

I just always say "thanks i like yours more!" Kind of jokingly

m.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/39868259?search_identifier=9a34c377051a3709998a45cef2e6545d

Found one lads

mah nigga

6 is so underrated
probably better than 8

Found out a right qt who was coming strongly onto me a short time ago has a bf now

Fuck she was fucking like a dog in heat and I let it slip right through my fingers

Think I'll still approach her next time I see her out, I could take the bf easy

obv but the intentions could mean anything, she's a pretty extroverted person. not really seen her flirt as much with others tho. prob just gonna message her on friday to come
to this party cause what's the worst that could happen

objectively the most attractive chink of all time

you're all boring as fuck

I would let her throw my dick clean over the horizon

>bodybuilding
>practical in any way
Don't think that's what it's about lad

getting the lindybeige in

WE FUCKING KNOW

I'll just message your dad on grindr

The gf and I

why are the pole sports girls so hot

spot on

But Ritchie was the more aggressive, more dominant one. Eddie came out on top more but he was the bottom of their relationship.

>associating with runts

aaaah yes

You're right kev, you on the other hand have an incredibly functional body

Muscle girls who aren't gross bodybuilt freaks

who actually draws memes

face is ok but not as qt as #8

her ass is on point though

she could do sports on my pole

so what is the point of it?

>ass
foy

need a japanese gf with big tits

made a ballbusting joke at work and someone asked me if i post on /brit/

very strange experience, i know you're here tom

new

To intimidate little runts like you

Somerset. It's where JRM lives.

Mentioned to a friend I was considering the priesthood and he said I've got the celibacy down already

Ha ... Good banter

To be as big, symmetrical or dry as possible I think

You reckon? I remember the other way around but I haven't seen it since I was a kid, feel sad watching Rik Mayall now

Peak of human muscular development

>mentioning t'chon outside of t'chon
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2 tbqh

Lads apparently I got with a girl from work last night but I don't remember it at all

She's quite qt but how do I not make it awkward because I want to put my willy in her

nah, it's all cool man, what is /brit/ for if not being pals
hope things pick up though. there's always rough patches when living with people, but it's the sort of thing people genuinely get over, especially when you've only just started living together.
shit, actual couples sometimes get shook when they start living together, so it's always gonna take some adjustment from the both of you

but yeah, genuinely hope you guys figure it out soon, but desu I'm sure you will

>that slight lip tremble

LITERALLY RAGING ABOUT THE FACT THAT I DONT HAVE A QT ANGLO KIWI GF

me & the gf

nice traps desu