Mum found the cum couch

>mum found the cum couch

>not hiding your cum in light fixtures

>dad found the shit piano

>äiti löysi mällisohvan

I'll never understand why some of you cunts can't just cum into a tissue and flush it down the toilet

this desu
t. cummer pro

>Dad found mum helping me study

>Not swallowing it
>Not cumming into used boxer briefs and then washing them

Amateurs

>Not just cumming inside your foreskin and dropping it off at the toilet

Kek

I usually just cum in my pants that way there's no clean up, I don't even have to clean up my underwear because it dries pretty quick

>mum found the sperm vehicle

I dare not ask why a cum couch is.

But then you will smell bad. Do you live alone or something

>police found the loli warehouse

what the fuck is a cum couch

this to be honest, i have a feeling i'll regret asking

>mum is cleaning my room
>moves my bed to vacuum and finds pile of scrunched up tissues on the side of the bed against the wall
>"I-I just had a cold...heh"

Cum doesn't smell

It does once it's stale and yellow

It does, badly. You've just become acclimated to its odor.

My sister tells me I smell nice

What a waste of body fluids

it absolutely does

Depends on what you ate

What am i supposed to do with it? make huge snowballs out of it?

true, but it's still going to smell a bit no matter what

is she hot

>wasting all that protein
enjoy your nogainz

Eat my own cum master race. No nutrients lost, no cleanup. Can gauge my diet based on taste.

Do straight men do this as well?

>is she hot
Why would I know that? You can't judge your sisters hotness, that's wrong
I eat pretty healthy so it probably doesn't smell too much, that's why

Eating it, putting it on boxers to smell it afterwards, just cleaning up after

I like the smell of cum but it's probably due to my orientation

It's very straight to drink your own cum, and in fact it's a bit effeminate not to, as it's a waste of fluids

post her calves

hello 14 year old me

>Plebs not realising the superior way of cumming is to cum into your own mouth and swallow it

0 cleanup. Nothing. Meanwhile all you retards either cum into couches or tissues or whatever the fuck

>this thread

>not having a massive floppy foreskin to absorb it all
you all jews or something?

>this thread

This.

Truly wondering why that cooler is filled with over-cooked eggs and american "cheese"

dem gainz brah

>he doesnt eat his cum

>mum found the cum slut

This. I also masturbate prone and have probably destroyed my penis over the years.

>I've gotten so good at masturbating it feels better than sex

>Cums in the confines of his underwear
>Doesn't think cum stinks
>Tries not to think about his sister in a sexy way.

I can't tell if you're retarded, degenerate, normie, or a combination of those three.

That sounds absolutely fucking disgusting.

>foreign friend who came to visit found my personal shitting street

>American education

Its not more disgusting then having the sperm inside your balls

>someone got close to my anal sharpie hiding place

cum smells like mushrooms

Also cooking appliances and "cooking appliances".

>that flag
>that refference
I just don't know what do you mean with all the crazy mushrooms of Finland.

я пpoвeppяю в нeбoльшoй oтeль в нecкoльких килoмeтpaх oт киeвa. пoзднo и я ycтaл. я гoвopбю жeнщинa зa cтoлoм я хoчy кoмнaтy.
oнa гoвopитт мнe мoй нoмep кoмнaты и дaeт мнe ключ. "Ho eщe oднa вeщь, тoвapищ, ecть oднa кoмнaтa бeз нoмepa и вceгдa зaпиpaйтe Дaжe нe пoпиcaть в тaм.".
я я бepy ключ и пoйти в кoмнaтy cпaть. нoчь пpихoдит, и я cлышy кaпeльный вoды.
oнa иcхoдит из кoмнaты чepeз. нe мoгy cпaть, тaк чтo я oткpыть двepь. oн иcхoдит из кoмнaты бeз нoмepa. я фyнт нa двepь. Heт oтвeтa. я cмoтpю в зaмoчнyю cквaжинy.
Я нe вижy ничeгo, кpoмe кpacнoгo. Boдa вce eщe cтeкaлa. я cпycкaюcь к cтoйкe peгиcтpaции, Чтoбы жaлoвaтьcя. "Кcтaти, ктo нaхoдитcя в этoй кoмнaтe?" Oнa cмoтpят нa мeня и нaчaть paccкaзывaть иcтopию.
Был жeнщинa тaм. Убили ee мyжeм. Кoжa вcя бeлaя, зa иcключeниeм ee глaзa, кoтopыe были кpacными.
Я гoвopю eй, чтo я нe нacpaть. Пpeкpaтить вoды кaпeльный или дaть мнe вoзмeщeниe. Oнa Bepнeтcя c 50 чeлoвeк двepь pyкa кpюк мaшинa двepь.

Йop Paшн из вepи гyд бpo

чeлoвeк двepь pyкa кpюк мaшинa двepь

bullshit m8

my organic chemfag friend from Wallonia once made a chemical compound (a simple organic polyamine) in his garage and his mother came in and said loud and pissed off "ça sent le sperme ici"

true story

любишь мoю иcтopию?

>current year
>not making cumsicles in the freezer

/fit/ would be so disappointed in you guys

>Mum found the cum rag

I remember having very little cum when I was masturbating as a kid, I just wiped it on the sheets.
As it grew in volume I started finishing on napkins and throwing them away.
These days I just cum in my daytime sock and throw it with the rest of the laundry. Never noticed a difference in the socks probably because the cum damage is spread out between my many socks.

I feel you famm.

>mum found THAT toothbrush

>living at home with your parents

lel

Anyone remember when you were like 10-12 and you just discovered masturbating? I still remember the first year or two when I had dry orgasms and it felt so good and strong and I could do it again and again and could fap by watching shit like Ranma 1/2. Nowadays I can barely fap once a day while watching some sick porn.

cutfags on suicide watch

You need to bait it, the longer you fap the better the orgasm.
If you cum fast it's very dull and barely feels good.

australian """cuisine"""