/brit/

You could have been balls deep in this tonight user.

how common is it for girls to suck your willy after it's been in their fanny

YE STUPID BASTARDS!!
WHAT HAVE YE DONE?!!
THEY'LL BE OVER HERE SOON NOW!!
THE CLAGS AND THE NETTLES WERE BAD ENOUGH THIS YEAR!

already got a gf so I'm not interested in meeting girls desu

Smoking this last joint and playing fallout new vegas

why do you say accomodation instead of hotel

>taking pics of yourself crying and posting them online

Literally the most attention whoring thing you can do. Dumb cunt.

...

...

>Lord Bendtner is playing against Arsenal

They better watch out or he's gonna rub his willy on them like the back of a taxi

>already got a gf
>fucking normies will never understand

gas yourself you twat

pretty common I reckon..

who /snog gf after she's swallowed your load/ masterrace here

university accomodation

world population needs to be reduced by half at least

...

I say we should kill all the people with brown eyes

...

What seemingly innocuous actions are actually signs that a girl is a prude or really filthy

more like lord bender haha

don't really know what is that supposed to convey
indifference towards everything or is he frustrated about not talking more to the girl when he gets in his room

French women will always submit to British cock.

Apparently dressing up like Pablo Escobar for Halloween is a big no no

Lars and Sven?
They seem like top lads

:(

>Are you going to come swimming with me user? You don't have to take your t-shirt off if you don't want to..

no you look lower class

u a girl?

Remember that time brit filled the catalogue with a gorillion threads
ye u guys shud du that

*takes my bottoms off exposing my bulging bellend but keeps my shirt on*

Alri Kate

Good, I don't want anyone to see my distended stomach and man boobies.

Giving brain behind asda: prude
Giving brain behind halfords: really filthy

I'll go just don't interrupt my work out, I need to put in at least a mile

1 or 2?

hello mr christmas tree

2

Just got called a melt in greggs lads

2 senpai

lebanonce

1

Just got off a PS4 party with the lads

>tfw I'm always awkward in in these things and end up not talking until everyone leaves

>Leicester 2-2 Chelsea
I told you lads, the most dangerous lead

thinking I might be a bender lads. don't care much but not a fan of it.

Is Viper the most underrated rap artist of all time?

a lot of bans were handed out
not worth it 2bh

Need a magic Brazilian bf

>get invited to a party by flatmates
>within a minute I've outed myself as an aspie and they're clearly regretting asking me
>we join a big group of people waiting at reception
>flatmates desert me and I'm left standing on my own pretending to text somebody
>go back to my room and stick Radiohead on

Might do a cheeky suicide

tugging on the old willy

...

A FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE

Stuffing the old jacksy

FOUC

arse is sore from squats

Rasheed

did you you his horness of the death fiasco shit? he literally tried to off himself

frigging fammished lads

business idea: dogburger

wat?

Why did science lessons always bring out the slag in every girl?

>did you you his horness of the death fiasco shit?
What?

Giz the rundown on are viper these days

Fucking hell lads

I pissed my pants somehow

Looked down and my crotch was wet

out of baccy lads, might just roll a cheeky pure

I was right to not bother watching.

...

whats for tea

>when she say "go deeper" but you're all out of dick

>blind date still hasn't texted back

fucking hell lads

>tfw went to an all boys school

FOUC stands for Flash of Unstyled Content. This situation occurs whenever a Web browser ends up showing your Web page’s content without having any style information yet. It’s an interesting technical problem, because when/how a browser ends up committing the crime of FOUCing depends heavily on how the browser’s engine is architected and on interesting assumptions made by Web site authors when designing their sites.

Shes blind m8 she can't use the bloody keyboard

wanted to eat a bit of Cantal today with bread but forgot to buy a half baguette on the way home. not good

go on his twitter and just run down his tweets. he went to the hospital because he had a really really tight harness around his belly. it was really funny and all

>NOTTINGHAM POOREST

>cooker
>science

Good for you

Just spread my arse cheeks wide apart and violently sprayed liquid faecal matter from my anus all over the next door neighbours front door

rate the girlies halloween outfits

me in the middle

:(

>I say we should kill all the people with brown eyes

same la

now I'm too autistic/socially retarded to talk to women haha

spaghetti and meatballs :)

...

twitter.com/RapperViper/status/716249816544600064?lang=en

>mfw a canadian tries to hard to be english
>mfw he won't stop saying "lads"

how about you eat my spaghetti and meatballs bitch

Hao Ling

>You'll cowards don't even regret your haircut

said "eyup" to flatmate and half a second later he said "yo..." which means he's still unhappy

damn

>tfw went to a private catholic school

me on the left

Business idea: /britm8s/
an app in which /brit/ users find fellow autists in their area to meet up with

what happened?

>Gloucestershire

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELP ME LADS

me flying

meet up and do what?

sometimes when I feel bad about my life I go to r/short and remind myself that whatever happens I will never EVER be a manlet

well, alright, it would save me cooking

would use

Ungrateful fucking runt

All the people I'm at Uni with are either pakis who are studying already, introverted mousey chodes like you, or annoying shitheads who want to go to starbucks

I JUST WANT TO GO TO A PUB OR HOUSE PARTY WITH A GROUP OF GOOD LOOKING SOUND LADS REEEEEE

that's very insensitive towards foreigners :(

God I miss 2007-2010.

Some paki is being mean to me on /brit/ lads

Give each other handies

wank

weird flatmate just said "eyup" to me, had no idea what to reply so i just said "yo" lads

i just remember that i have a 7.7inch cock. i'm only 5'11 so i can't really feel good or bad about height

Britshed life lads

kisses

now that is a slag pic.

hello

why do they all have their knees bent like that

ugh friendzoned again

Hmmmmmmmmm

You're telling me densely populated areas of land can't build large properties for every inhabitant?

>mfw the autistic leaf gets called out and cries
>mfw he calls me a paki
>mfw he does it again

YOU WILL NEVER BE ENGLISH

morrissey

>Hong Kong house: 500 sq ft
>Australian house: approx 2200 sq ft
>You can fit 22.6 Hong Kong houses in an Australian house

What?

inviting 5.7 brits to come live in my house

5'11'' is a good height

Anybody who says otherwise is a bitter paki manlet

alri

>averagelondonhousing.jpg

been through this enough haha just wish we were friends again, kinda wanna talk to him but i think he still wants space. since im saying hi at least thats better than not saying anything at all to him

funny guy didnt know krauts had a sense of humour

gonna go to bed

someone tuck me in :3

makes their arse look bigger

classic slag pose

Lads, what's Nottingham like?

Is it comfy?

gimme one good reason why I should ever make a change

hong kong has lots of tiny apartments

they still haven't caught that legoland nonce

not even memeing but 5'11 is average height tier these days
even at 6' you're not really considered tall, I think 6'1 is the cutoff now

read that as

>someone fuck me in :3

In my 4th year of my economics degree and I literally don't even know the basics

*tucks you in with the zipper side facing towards your head*

Pretty shit, but decent student city

t. arrogant Nottingham student

chebs

hate this image

its got a lot of black gun crime so you'll feel right at home lad

:]

It says house though. Do the figures on the graph refer only to standalone houses, whereas below it includes apartments too? Either way it's retardedly made

Any of you lads do metal-detecting?
Might pick it up desu

Y?

*rent a flat in brixton*

5'9 is the average height

what are signs that someone is jealous of your life and happiness

oh, so you are a so-called metal detector?

>Any of you lads do metal-detecting?

...

very suggestive of aggressive sexual behaviour

>tfw 6'3

that includes old people though, you're not competing with them

That just means there's a vibrant drug scene

Should probably stop shitposting and just "read more" so I can be smarter.

what should I read

*keeps inviting 300,000 immigrants every year*

if you are happy and your life is great, then someone is jealous

Me and the lads in London endz

imagine having tits like that and getting everything so easy.

No it's not.
t.6ft and taller than most guys I see

*instagrams photo of London skyline I took at the top of the shard I got from a groupon deal*
Money is the motivator

>"user! Dinners ready!"
>walk into kitchen
>see this

wat do

/brit/

this post would be a good start

start eating

My dad would beg to differ since he brings home girls barely older (sometimes younger) than me and shags them

you but you'd have to put up with stuff like people complimenting you in the streets
i mean it's [current year], come on!!

Isn't Saint Petersburg quite nice in general?

...

the average height is 6'1 for a man, not even memeing

did this in first year to the resident aspie in our flat, feel a bit bad about it now

Yeah it is pretty average nowadays, but definitely still considered tall. 96% of women are my height or shorter.

I am re-validated when I go to the gym. Small man syndrome is REAL. Some days I'm pretty much the tallest person in there.

Foreign population by year going way back to the mid 1800s

Average height for a healthy male is 6ft5, not even meming

Got the chance to shag the girl on the left.

She's 6 foot and I'm 5' 10" and a virgin. Should I do it?

>I'm 5' 10"
end yourself

>Aussie enters the thread
i.4cdn.org/wsg/1474391742097.webm

just got my blood test back, lads
the doctor said i had SMS or "small man syndrome"
honestly don't know why he couldn't tell that by looking

not sure why such uneducated swine go bananas for what are simply just body parts of a female *tsk* so primitive

and an unhealthy male?

Give me the number of the right

Old man hobby that will cost a few hundred quid and many, many hours over time

You're definitely autistic to even consider it, sorry.

Oh fuq. Close the fucking ports

>be 5'8
>even women are 6 foot now

ah yes

Never had a problem making friends

It's making a best friend that I had trouble with

Average height for a male is 6ft9 these days, sorry but I'm not even meming

3

how do aspies not survive at parties

all you do is get drunk and then wow you're no longer an aspie

bet your fat aren't ya

#nationofimmigrants

>All these robots that have started uni are all failing socially as i predicted last month

Ahh yes and Putin is somehow to blame for this, not the landlord.

I really hate leafs, lads.

are you this new?

desu I don't like people getting too close

Which one is you?

>all these tearful manlets
I didn't say 5'11 is average height, I said it's average TIER. it's not noticeably above average, and people wouldn't describe you as tall.
It's a fact that this generation is significantly taller than the last one and the goalposts have moved.

Don't want to be here anymore lads, life is like a video game I got bored of long ago but can't stop playing because I have nothing else.

Lads I'm sorry to see all these manlets itt but average height is around 7ft these days, sorry

ye m8 first thread

Imagine having her as your wife

Heavenly

I think /lit/ has valuable resources for starters. Shan't be staying too long in that hellhole though

Did you know you could fit approximately 22.6 Hong Kong residents in a single Australian?

why, you autist? i bet you're the same cringeworthy spacker who spams FOY all day

i do mental-detecting
*points my detector at /brit/*
*it beeps very loudly*

Overall I have to say I am happy.

>no tom

why does almost every guy with glasses have wonky nose pieces?

do they just not look after themselves?

I came here to ask for permission to use the toilet, it's urgent

found this in my slag folder kek

am grill :3

Are you kidding? Average height in the current gen is about 8ft. I'd honestly neck myself if I was below that desu

>people of slightly above average height are manlets

alri tom

smoke time

youtube.com/watch?v=wX1x7pfH8fw

or like a white & black film you're seeing in a cinema that's soon going to be over

I am unironically fat cam

Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on Cred Forums by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is Cred Forums. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.

...

Tfw 6'5

Everyone stares at me I fucking hate it

Always get cunts at the pub saying "Wew lad do you sleep in fertiliser hahaha" yeah good one you fucking spanner

Top left and bottom right are normatrons

just read like the orwell for a starters

1984 is a good book to get you into books even if it's meme'd to hell

In my mind, I see all the anons behind union jacks on /brit/ as more or less young Jamie Vardies. Not gonna lie.

prefer not to say

shut up you pretentious wanker

Mark Davis was a great dox, the speed at which he deleted all his profiles was hilarious.

>Tfw 6'5
Wew lad do you sleep in fertiliser hahaha

you're still an aspie, but now you're also drunk and irritating everybody with your autism

>he's this mad over leafs
If you love leafs so much why don't you marry them

>not liking patrician orwell works
do you even keep the aspidistra flying

isn't jamie vardy a young jamie vardy? dunno how old he is though lmao

dark matter is the mass of parallel universes

where you from mate

5'11 or 6ft is the perfect height.
you're not tall enough to be a lanklet or short enough to be a manlet, just right.

Make it stop user, I can't take it anymore.

...

6'6 and iktfb
>nah mate didn't realise I was a tall cunt til you told me

>do you sleep in fertiliser

28-29, so slightly older than the average age of /brit/ I presume

flatmate just got back and he's brought a girl with him

will be able to hear everything, not ideal this

that is literally how girls think though

what's the point of having kids lads

don't project so much next time alright bud?

Vocaroo it for us

to keep up white birthrates

you just have to wank louder than their sex

>slightly older
I'd be surprised if the average age in these threads was about fifteen

to continue your genetic lineage

it might be interesting to shape someone to become a functional person

can't say I'm a fan
Buggos should go back to their own country

orwell is mint :3

so that you can make some ugly babies that become ugly children, ugly teens, and finally ugly adults

and Andy King is a polite middle-class Jamie Vardy

tbf i've read farenheit 451 and waiting for godot which are ace books, but that was a while ago. so i guess reading more classics could be worth it.

indeed, that's all part of scenery

The gf
youtu.be/X9ukSm5gmKk

ask if there's room for one more

>not having a cheeky wank
It'll feel great mate. The smug feeling of them not knowing you're in the next room wanking over them.

...

Have a cheeky wank lad

love how everyone here is 6' 5" or taller

>and people wouldn't describe you as tall.

Except they do, especially women

Just last week I tried doing OHP on a smith machine and it would hit the top before lock out. Qt, young blonde gym staff told me I'm ''pretty tall'' and can't use the smith for ohp (whereas dwarves can)

Jelly, manlet?

>WEW lad you're tall aren't ya haha
>yeah mate
>so how tall are you?
>6'5
>WEW LAD - OI DEAN... DEAN... DEAN... DEANO... DEANO... OI DEAN... DEANO... DEANO HAVE A LOOK AT HOW TALL THIS LAD IS AHA
>oi lad do you have to wear blinking lights when you go out at night so planes know you're there Ahaha

looks really comfy desu

do you remember a guy that's been
in such an early song
i've heard a rumour from ground control
'oh no don't say it's true'

Someone post more crying girls.

Stop lying, manlet

FOY

>I tried doing OHP on a smith machine
stopped reading there
you are not going to make it

>tfw 5'8
>always get cunts at the pub saying "Wew lad did they run out of fertiliser hahhahaha" yeah good one you fucking spanner

the gf at the races

HATE IT

...

>tfw i'm unironically this flexible

>OHP on a smith machine

absolutely love taking the piss out of 6'4+ lanklet cunts
they think they are so hard even though they are literal twigs and awkward as fuck

Who's the most hireable

Sorry lads, but it's scientifically proven 5ft11-6ft1 is the perfect male height...best gains, while not being tiny

what the fuck is a smith machine

And you're a talentless mahrez now fuck off

Click Ukraine and Russia in Google Maps and the boarders don't turn red like all the other countries do

Bit dodgy that

>be me
>make an innocuous post about height on /brit/
>watch the sparks fly
every time

>it's impossible for people to be 6'5

Fuck off you bellsniff, not that pathetic that id lie about something like height

seem to harbor negative feelings about my gf when i'm away from her but i get in love with her whenever i see her

wonder what could the reasoning behind this be

thought this was going to be a kev edit

thumbnail looked like the face on Mars or the great storm of Jupiter

None
Can hire a man in her place who will work harder

Far right for diversity

*chooses answer that goes against what i actually believe so as to appear morally superior*
3

>tfw 6'3, perfect height

who cares about gains you twat

*picks a man instead*

ah yes

I really am though but it baffles me why people would even bother lying

still no gf though :(

i don't know
*googles it*
ah, THAT thing

>and the goalposts have moved.

They haven't actually. Height has become more and more irrelevant nowadays. Anything past 5'10'' is just diminishing returns.

In our parents generation, being a 6ft man meant you were legitimately big and enviable. In only a few decades that's changed. Second generation chinks and indians can be 6'1''. Go to a sixth form and half the ugly, spotty mugs in there are giants.

Height isn't impressive anymore. Face, face, face, face, face.

>harbor
FOY
>gf
FONT

>Mfw some stupid runt was trying to ohp in the smith machine with stick arms
>Told him he was "too tall" (probably not even average height though) to save his feelings from being hurt
>Me and the girls laughed our arses off after

Im 6'3''and easily the tallest whereever I go

...

...

had myself a giggle at this post

>tfw 5'4 and built like an Icelandic roofer

absolutely lad, judging from the thighs seems like she'd have a nice arse

noice

*posts my gf every two minutes*

if you are over 6'2 enjoy never having muscle

would you marry a swede?

youtube.com/watch?v=S9R9HTsDOus

>everyone on Cred Forums is 6'4

What is the point of lying to yourself? Why are you trying to make yourself sound better on an anime imageboard

Let me guess, your dad is also the CEO of Microsoft and you have a second home in Monaco? Wow. believe you mate

>it's a manlets obsess over height episode

I'm unironically 7'2

Fucking hate the stares I get since I have bad anxiety

well my dad did

Hello

My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be corrected

why are less intelligent people more likely to say "hun" on facebook xxxxxxxxxxx

No.

Because Swedes are dumb and they killed our ancestors.

creasing at all these manlets that literally cannot FATHOM being 6'5

>t-they must be lying! No one's that tall

No one said it was impossible at all, just outing you and your boring fucking lies, you tedious insecure manlet.

Alri Patrick

>tfw no road gf

>who cares about gains you twat

the gf laughed at me for pronouncing something wrong in Danish
fucking bitch I never laugh at her shitty second rate English

>99% of /brit/ is 6'5
ah yes very believable

I'm 5'8 lads

alri Marcus

Because they haven't anything interesting or original to talk about, like the gf posters.

I'm actually only 6'2" and my dad isn't a CEO he's just an army general

My gf is really hot though she could defo be a lingerie model

anyone else go perusing round town on halloween to get an eyefull of slags in slutwear?

or am I the most pathetic person here

Okay lad, keep feeling insecure because there's someone here taller than you

danish is honestly one of the ugliest languages in the world
i say that as a person who is fluent in danish and has nothing against danes

Alright everyone post their REAL heights. I'll start:6ft7

same, pretty much everyone is taller

life is fucking pointless

can ur da get me into westpoint

>if you are over 6'2 enjoy never having muscle

Only tall people post their height cause they aren't embarrassed about it
Same goes for willies

Mine is 7x6 (REALLY wish I had that extra inch of length)

Business idea: Russian roulette glory holes where just the arsehole is showing and you don't know if you're shagging a girl or a bloke.

>thinking of making an interpals account
>literally have no good photos of me

I just want to talk the foreign qts and make friends with autists ;_;

7'1, lmaoing at your life manlet

you are the most pathetic person here

my dad is junior VP at Nintendo

Is mise bás isteach tb.h mo chara

>or am I the most pathetic person here
If you dress up too, naw
If you're just walking around in your trench coat with your hand on your dick, yee

Considering everyone on Cred Forums in +6'4", you're really nothing special.

probably

Ok fine let's find out

Answer HONESTLY

strawpoll.me/11267619
strawpoll.me/11267619
strawpoll.me/11267619

>tfw didn't go to uni
>going out for freshers in my city on Friday
>going to pretend to be a student to girls
What course shall I say I'm doing? What's an alpha degree?

if a woman asks how old you think she is subtract 6 years

if a man asks how tall you think he is, add 4 inches

lads i have a big decision

my mate is moving countries in a few days, we are going clubbing tonight to celebrate

but i have work early tomorrow and it's a new job so i'm on probation

will i get sacked if i pull a sickie

No m8 you're not an American citizen and even if you were you would need a letter of recommendation from a sitting senator or congressman in your state to get in that's literally a listed requirement

iktf

on my motorbike with a helmet cam so I can wank to it later

I'm only learning it for her desu

Who /devilish/ here?
>Tfw I always post multiple replies in excess of 6ft4 to every question about height
>Always post over 8 inch cock
>Neither of those things

Considering you're clearly below that height neither are you, irrelevant little speck

astronautics

ran this through google translate for a laugh after posting it, hilarious just how wrong it gets everything.

...

Honestly fucked more girls off there than I've even met of Tinder

Mathematical Finance with a year internship at some big bank

you're fucking useless and your da wears odd socks to work

i figured

8'1", 9 stone here

Say you're with Team GB

haha voted honestly

go out for a bit, don't drink too much and head home early

Cheers Facebook

thought that was norwegians

They're ours, no Prods

medicine, surgeon in particular

I'd not even bother lad, not enough jobs going round to risk it
Or just don't drink

Why lie? Or did you legit fuck one girl on there?

Lucky bastard

>n-n-no you're insecure
You're a fucking paki manlet dweeb with nothing original to say so have to make up stories to get noticed.

Everyone is over 6'4" on here, lad. This is FACT

Far more handsome than any of those tbqh

I hate those things so fucking much

I'm 8x6