/brit/

Faust edition

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=twpUz5MYPWA
youtube.com/watch?v=emkMdTvg5pU
youtube.com/watch?v=LNMnSa8X1sQ
imgur.com/a/7ZIXr
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-dollar_salary
youtube.com/watch?v=u2W1Wi2U9sQ
rodong.rep.kp./en/
independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/jeremy-corbyn-labour-leadership-election-wife-owen-smith-not-husband-a7320346.html
youtube.com/watch?v=cGkTIiu5diA
youtube.com/watch?v=-LLfnpElU5M
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pakistani_community_of_London
i.imgur.com/EIECo0M.gifv
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-20680565
desuarchive.org/int/search/text/ira|ireland/type/op/
youtube.com/watch?v=Ua9dE_MKtWM
youtube.com/watch?v=2Qc161LoJ-A
sys.Cred
youtube.com/watch?v=A6ILw3A49G0
sys.Cred
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

youtube.com/watch?v=twpUz5MYPWA

preparing for a wank

>tfw no bgf

...

Doing a wank on omegle right now

...

not even weeb but I could live on sushi tbqh

plus it's /fit/ as fuck

>humans build wonders and terrors in an attempt to destroy nature and tame the wilds

>suddenly super-diseases that we can't stop wiping us all out

So I guess nature was holding back until now. And we fell for it.

Same

Lying naked in bed right now. If anyone wants to slide under the covers with me feel free ;x

Wasn't alive at the time

>no food in the house
>too late in the evening for local chippy
>too far to travel to Tesco
>pizza costs far too much

What do?

WOULD YOU RISK IT FOR SOME UNDERAGE KENDALL BEAVER, LADS??????????????????

>tfw can barbell row 80kgx5
>Stick arms
Ah yes, /fit/ advice

...

underageb- oh wait

crusaders...

>kendall
nah

>Kittens thrown at moving train near Lingwood

me on the left

Try Justeat for something

Thirsty
might go get a big bottle of Dr. Pepper lads

eat your jizz

me on the left

Every British (real) man should have a harem of a least three French women 3bh

deliveroo

>no food in the house

realty though...there's no pasta/rice/beans/noodles/frozen stuff/eggs/tuna etc. etc.?

If that's the case, you're a runt.

don't like muslims, sorry

no

French women smell and don't shave

Don't see any problems with this 2bqh

youtube.com/watch?v=emkMdTvg5pU

>man doesn't have a shell with a lifetime warranty

m8...

In /brit/ '87, user posted about this, the Yoga, Lenovo's most accomplished Laptop range. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Yoga 710", a machine so new, most people haven't really published a proper review. But they should, because it's not only about the importance of sharing an opinion and analysing the performance of the machine, it's also a change for giving personal impressions based off days of use.

youtube.com/watch?v=LNMnSa8X1sQ

Oh okay then
imgur.com/a/7ZIXr

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-dollar_salary

absolute banger lads

youtube.com/watch?v=u2W1Wi2U9sQ

>''''''''people'''''''' that drink fizzy drinks

yep, binned.

>that colour though

all black or bust m8, well I singed two holes in this one with a fire, warranty wouldn't cover it.

i like patagonia but it's mostly made in china shite

Might watch some anime lads
thoughts?

wear a hat
let people know you're all that

>that cock
M8, lift a little and you're literally chad

Ewwww nigga you gay

>what are stock options

jog on, runt.

don't

ur gonna make big bucks kid

Try boku no pico

rodong.rep.kp./en/

show me your body

Everything is made in China these days lad whether it be shite or not. Patagonia gear has a lifetime warranty. They're all about saving the environment and all that guff so they want to repair your jacket if it gets messed up rather than you buying a new one.

Most likely they just send you a new jacket though if it's 15 years down the line.

See, British men are absolutely superior.

>No reverse image results

Holy shit.

...

>tfw dicklet

your physique is p. shite though lad

>That pathetic body
>That tiny pecker
lmao

independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/jeremy-corbyn-labour-leadership-election-wife-owen-smith-not-husband-a7320346.html
poor Corbs

>Sorry, we don't currently service [postcode]. Please enter your email address and we'll notify you once we do

New meme

fucking hell, why are 90% of used car dealerships owned by slimy pakis

...

You live in London

You're only making me harder
Top film

There are no Pakistanis in London

Indians live on the outskirts and are fully integrated

Bengalis just keep to themselves

>There are no Pakistanis in London
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>There are no Pakistanis in London

>reaction images with cool funny labels
bin yourself you fucking cunts

...

rajeet

Its true

The Pakistani population of London is literally zero. I have never met a single one here
The majority of the population will never meet a single one

why does it seem like a disproportionate amount of gay guys have big dicks?

reminder that corbyn has literally had his penis inside diane abbott

Ok let's get this going
>There are no Pakistanis in London

youtube.com/watch?v=cGkTIiu5diA

a lot more in West-Mids & Yorkshire as a % of population.

I keep telling myself to but I forget and then I can't be arsed.

want these people to drown

All UK pakistanis live in the North, in bradford and manchester and that

London only has integrated Indians and Bengalis

The pakistani population of London is literally zero

not one A level between them and already ageing like milk.

me on the right

You know that feeling you get when you think about how when you die the world will carry on without you?

That's what it feels like when you go from being NEET to getting a job and you know /brit/ is going on every day with new gimmicks, banter, slagposts, kpops, and shenanigans with the janny but you miss out on it all because you're working hard for Mr Noseberg.

Then when you get home from looking at a screen all day and talking to stupid cunt customers you don't even have the energy to do anything but sit in a heap and stuff your face.

It feels good tbqh

Drooling tbqh

>You know that feeling you get when you think about how when you die the world will carry on without you?
Happiness?

Men like and appreciate bigger dicks more.

youtube.com/watch?v=-LLfnpElU5M

My friends do live in the sense that you are Europeans, that you come from people who faced tremendous odds again and again, that much is against you but you've got within you that will, that spirit and above all, the faith and that belief which will lead the generations to come, to look back at you, in the pages of history, with the proud words; To Britain! To Europe! They were true!

...

how long is that?

genocide all socializers

But it's not literally zero, Rasheed. It's almost zero

bit sad, that

...

I've been paying VERY close attention to you mate

Watch your back

gf just sent me this so i called her a gaylord

That doesn't explain why they seem to have a bigger dingle dangle

I will do soon this time honestly, I swear. Then I'll do an update, pics of my arse, cock and body.
Eight inches
Fancy a go?

since when do women not like big dicks?

only 40 more years until retirement lad

feelings are gay

>I will do soon this time honestly, I swear. Then I'll do an update, pics of my arse, cock and body.
I'd shag you now lad but with some more muscle? You'd be hot as fuck.
Do squats for your arse.

I honestly don't know.
They always fucking complain, "Oh it's too big." "Stop it hurts too much." "Oh my God I'm bleeding." Men know how to take it and they love it.

*accidentally uses an americanized spelling

i'll take the one with her hand on her head in the top middle

why would you want a bony bag of smelly shit in your bed

...

>posting pictures of boring plebs at shitty commercial clubs

yeah. pls stop.

ill take the one on the far left top row

il take the one on the right

Desiccating myself with the new dehumidifier

We invented the English Language as it is today, so there's nothing to be ashamed of

Thanks, I will actually do it though, I've been wanting to. And a nicer arse would be great.
But yeah, about shagging me now, can I take you up on that offer?

Yes because /brit/ is the pinnacle of what you are currently missing

Eating activated almonds lads

>2.7% of London's population - (20% of the total Pakistani population in the UK)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pakistani_community_of_London

gf's getting a bit clingy
might cheat on her to remind her of her place

i.imgur.com/EIECo0M.gifv

need a gf like this

good lad

There must be around 300,000 pakis in London if we look at immigration trends since the 2011 census

going to the community "shitty music and erratic arm movement while trying to fit in and pretending to like it" joint

>someone makes a thread about Ireland or the IRA

This happens like 10 times a day here. Why is everyone so obsessed with Ireland?

>But yeah, about shagging me now, can I take you up on that offer?
Bit desperate lad.
I'm still losing all this fucking flab, so sorry, not confident enough yet.

good lad

Like the other poor devils in China, India, and Japan - a great new field for sweatshops to be opened up so that these new industries which we were creating in Britain today will be destroyed as the old industries were - simplified, rationalised machinery with a few white surveyors and then the masses of cheap coloured labor torn off the land and taken into the sweatshops to work and labor and cough their guts out with tuberculosis until they too are thrown on the scrapheap of the sweatshops.
Is that worthy of Britain? Is that to be the future of Europe? And is this competition to be organized within our European brotherhood bringing in these sweat fields in Africa into our Europe civilization so that the financial power in one European country can use it against the financial power in another?
ALL the great financial central power of the world now shifted from the city of London to WALL STREET NEW YORK shall be able on the mass of MONEY of wealth and of power which money brings to it AGAIN and AGAIN and again to exert its influence in POLITICS until as you see today!
It is CHILDISH nonsense to say that a British Government rules Britain - IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH BRITISH GOVERNMENT OR THE BRITISH PEOPLE. The government of the world is the FINANCIAL GOVERNMENT! THE POWER OF MONEY, AND OF MONEY ALONE!

>americanized
FOY

with chebs like that youre more likely to get a doorknob

how's tim doing lads?

hey aqualung

It's literally you people that do it

Muh heritage yanks

>Your education level
>Current job
>Current salary

Me:

>MSc
>Barman
>£7.25p/h

self-contained underwater breathing apparatus?

>112 thousand according to the 2011 census
>Estimated at around 223,797

>doing BA in mathematics
>Student
>For free

maths doctor
number wizard
100k

>MSc
>Analyst (Consulting)
>32k

MSc
Sales
45k

thanks for the You

why are fridges so fucking expensive

>bit desperate
Like you wouldn't believe. Alright then, I get some muscle, you lose the flag, then you shag me.

...

>2011 census
>224,000 pakis
>in london

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-20680565

Slutty. I like it.

apprenticeship
electrician
30k a year

i was also in that post :3

that makes me all titillated tbf

there's an orange ladybird on my bed lads

aren't they the poisonous ones

help pls

>A-Levels
>unemployed
>muh bennies

>/brit/
>posts a german band

nice taste tho

Been depressed for most of my life, do I likely have some sort of disorder?

Oh yeah like you wouldn't believe. I'm a slave to cock.

>why yes, I am racist on Cred Forums but pretend not to be in real life

>Your education level
BA (Hons)

>Current job
Civil Servant

>Current salary
>32k, struggle to pay rent and bills

you what?
speak english

preparing to stroke my cock to homosexual pornography

take him outside please

I saw a black one with red spots the other day when I was drinking at the pub alone till I blacked out, I let it crawl across my hand, it tickled.

gf just sent me this

not the least bit gay

I'm happy to take or give tbqh, but yeah always horny.

>no willy
????

jethro tull

>struggle to pay rent and bills
ancient gimmick

howling

molyneux is mental

>10 times
desuarchive.org/int/search/text/ira|ireland/type/op/
it's more like

good lad

It's tucked between his legs

very nice

>tfw bacne

send help

PhD
Doctor
75k

it's common knowledge that stef is a really creepy mentally ill cultist. he's prone to do shit like this.

So am I, I'm pretty flexible like that.

...

>20
>back hair
Halp

me on marujawana

>it's a router isn't connecting to the internet and I have to use my phone episode

Gosh, not sure I could manage 8 inches

>people on /brit/ claiming to make over 20k pa

ah yes. great gimmick this one.

/brit/ is a GAY GENERAL. Heteronormies need to FUCK OFF.

>MSc
>php developer
>42k

...

: to interest or excite (someone) in an enjoyable and often sexual way
Source: Merriam-Webster's Learner's Dictionary

>colleague is one of the most runty people I've ever met
>fat, unintelligent ITV watcher

I'm really struggling to hide my contempt for her. I need a better job fucking baka.

having a steak lads

Decided to become pansexual.

Should I make a profile on a dating website?
Anyone here with past/current experience with them?

ummm excuse me?

Why are Yanks so obsessed with their flag and all that?

They seem to hold it in really high regard, I get patriotism but people are livid about any disrespect shown to it even if its out of protest

26k is literally the average wage

will sell you accutane i have left over
£50 a box

don't do it

amazing post, Icelad
you have really changed the wat i think about life in general. my parents have been feeding me misinformation since i was a little girl, but you have helped me see the truth through your insightful and witty posts.

was going to but i think it was already kill
didn't move when i touched it

wrapped it gently in kitchen towel and gave it a proper send off down the toilet

rip ;_;

Wish I had a bf but I'm an ugly bugger haha x

was it art?

I'll be slow and gentle, nothing a bit of preparation and lubricant can't help with. If not then, well you can take me, how big are you lad?

make nearly double that

what kind of mental illness would you diagnose reviewbrah with?

he definitely has some anti-social type of behaviour

2bh i've tried in the past, but when i have to write about myself and my interests i realise i'm a boring cunt and dont bother

4 inches.

yeah but its not the average wage for the demographics represented on this website.

6 inches dead. Ignore the twat posting before this.

Is this fixable ugly? Self-loathing ugly but not really ugly or objectively, irreparably ugly?

MA
admin
21k

VERY good post

it was necessary for the joke

no you don't

gays will be straight in the oven on the day of the rope

*emerges from spiderhole*

Nice size, you up for showing it?

batty boys need to FUCK OFF

yes I do

>smartwatches

did the overlords really think the runts would buy into this lmao

yes

GAY SHIT

straight men will be bent over the table when they receive my willy

freaky frog cunt
NEVER reply to me again

my taint is hairy as fuck

how do i get rid of it

Sure thing mate.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ua9dE_MKtWM

...

some data ive collected from /brit/

everyone here is 6ft 2 with muscles, has a gf, has a 10incher, has a phd, make over 50k a year.

ah yes.

any bent man in

*squishes you with a book*
squish, squash

Anyone tried oxycodone?

I asked a question

and hates normies

my iq is probably higher than yours, so your post is wrong

This

would bend your neck in half manlet

what's a decent car for under 2k

really? makes me feel better bout my self

>6'9 with muscles
>have 3 gfs
>have a 15 incher
>have a post-doctorate
>make 1000k a year

I am actually unironically 6'2

But I'm not ripped and I don't have a gf or a 10 incher or make over 50k a year

hahaha

statistically

Mmmmmn oh yes there go my bollocks

4 is the correct answer t b h

best DNM right now? haven't used any since abraxas went.

>Go on The Big Questions speculatively looking for morality in Britain
>"And what university did you go to, Peter?"
>York
>"Ahh nice, very impressive."

Got a weak jaw and kike noise desu lad

no; not a degenerate

Oh I'm straight, it'd be awful if you did that to me!

you sound a little insecure

...

actually 6'3''

renault twizzy

really makes you think

...

yeah

>/brit/ trying to convince me they make anywhere near 26k pa

did not do any thinking as a result of this graphic

>phone up speculatively looking for work
>"and what university did you attend?"
>"university of york"
>"ahh nice, very impressive"

Unironically 6"1 with muscles, but I'm still ugly and make minimum wage.

tony bomboni weighs 8 stone

fucking twink faggot, would stamp his skull in

I love coming to these threads mostly for the self-esteem boost I get
>8'10 with muscles
>have 2 wives, 7 gfs and a harem of 14 wenches
>have a transmutable up-to 22 incher
>3 PhDs and a nobel prize
>make £14000k pa (after taxes)

my parents pulled me out nursery school so i could work at the mill

farts smell of shit

>being impressed by 26k

who dat

i make 1 million pounds a minute

It's a painkiller, you silly nigger.

talk to me when you make that per second, kid

Fucks sake lads some mentally ill tranny nearly caught me out on tinder

youtube.com/watch?v=2Qc161LoJ-A

haha

bet that wiped the grin off your face sharpish didnt it

normie twat

>tfw 5'4 and built like an Icelandic mill worker

>So what do ya say?xx

>not shagging him
what are you, bent?

post her pic lad

>can go for a beer and watch the footy then lad

unironically made me chuckle, that

only ever read 3 shakespeare plays

shameful

spooky lad

>Admitting you want to bang a man
You absolute GAYBO

it's incredibly impressive watching how easily uneducated and indoctrinated Cred Forumsacks get utterly BTFO by well-read /his/torians when they go to /his/ to try to talk about WW2 or the holocaust

howling

>>>/hat/

Money isn't real

>literally 6'6
>8 inch willy
>no muscles
>no gf
>no degree
>make 16k a year

>8 GCSE's B-E
>Electrician
>Im now on 40k and im not even memeing

This year i started my own company with a fellow plumber. We're only 22 as well, feels good lads.

Example?

do I rate shakespeare? no

waste of genetics

could beat this little faggot in a fist fight with both hands tied behind my back

This entire thread, but it mainly starts around the point someone mentions "Greatest Story Never Told"

can't wait til you're featured on its tumblr lad

fucking always knew i should have done a trade. fuck sake.

Need to fuck this girl from work with immediate effect lads

I descend from peasants

Go offshore and you can make twice that at least.

ask her for a shag then

On a new secret prescription drug that no one knows about and it feels like a speedball

me bum bone hurts

Why is this so difficult?

>trades

you're bound to get cucked by poles and romanians

>find funny picture on twitter with a few hundred retweets
>post it to /brit/ with some shitty caption to make it seen like a blogpost
>(You)s flood in everytime

just like puppets on a string :)

oi gb

because talking about yourself is awkward and makes you think you're boring

drinking tea even darker than 1 currently

Iceland fact: if you remove a wheel from your car - it will legally be considered a motorcycle so you can pay lower taxes off it

Going out Friday night
Will try then
And by try I mean get far too drunk and make a tit out of myself again

...

>6ft7
>17inch cock (flaccid, people can literally see it in my trousers)
>Earn 10mill per year
People usually clap when I enter a room

been doing it since i was 16 m8, got a very good reputation in a well off area. those 'types' aren't welcome it seems.

fair play faó €€m

5'11" and 6'2"

>he's such a manlet that he just can't get his round someone 6'6 posting here

does she show any interest in you

ah yes whilst you get your pleasure out of a cheap (You) I'm secretly working behind the scenes to praise posts like this of that are of interest to me and you pawns go out and find them and /brit/ is like a curated news feed for me

keep searching runt

>this gangly freak thinks it's an achievement being 6'6"

god why do the deformed and mentally challenged make me feel so sad

she wants a man from Jötunheimr

we're in different teams so don't see her much, but caught her looking at me repeatedly when I was in her office for a bit doing something

will use pres to talk to her I think, see how she reacts, etc. and then hope she gets drunk enough to sit on my willy at the end of the night

Only been in this house for 2 weeks and already my runty housemates are trying to steal my property

They're having a laugh if they think I'm going to pay for their food and drink, this should teach them a lesson

ledgemeister

Still get the milk out of that if you tried

shave??

why

ah, my arch nemesises

Just dabbled with a bit of the old MDMA.

Lads, got a really fucking serious problem. Chairs at work make my arse/groin area/upper thighs smell like mental. No idea what the problem is.

Not my clothes because one day I went in with all new stuff and it was the same problem. I wash everyday and scrub like a madman but same issue. I'm a normal size and I'm not sweaty. My arse and area between balls and thigh sweat a little but surely that's normal and no fucker else seems to smell. Small possibility it could be a fungal thing but I don't see how when as I say I keep clean and don't go to things like swimming pools or gyms.

I only work part time but the problem seems to start after like only half an hour of sitting. Small office and I know people have isolated me as the source. Tried using various deodorants, talcum powder, types of underwear including no underwear but I get the same problem. Driving me absolutely fucking mental.

Is it possible my body is having some kind of weird reaction to these specific type of office chairs? Never have this problem sitting elsewhere.

based janny

he's 'ere

...

Just piss in their ribena

>did a thing
nope

UWWAAAA?!

fuck off back to Cred Forums you homophobe

not so fast

sys.Cred Forums.org/derefer?url=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FEIECo0M.gifv

Need a gf like this

>being a racist prick

fuck off bigot

*pokes a hole and shotguns your milk*

how big is his cock?
does it grow too or is it just really out of proportion?
VERY important question

WELL IF YOU PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT MAYBE WE WOULDN'T HAVE SO MANY PREMATURE THREADS IN THE FIRST PLACE

*audience roars in approval*

Hmmmm

had a wank

going to get into bed and listen to No one is ever going to want me and sleep

giving the pineal a workout
youtube.com/watch?v=A6ILw3A49G0

I don't know why they don't just raise the bump limit.

two of my best mates are black and indian m8, try again.

decided after careful consideration that I won't watch this video

Screaming

Nationalist Conservative >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Nationalist Socialist

ah yes, ASMR
*shoves an ice pick into my ears*

they look like right runts

interesting choice

you HOMOPHOBE

not a fan of the homophobic atmosphere in here

>life isnt about enjoying things. it's about fitting in and seeming interesting
this is what normies actually believe

need a work gf

great post

hahaha dickhead

>being friends with shitskins

fuck off cuck nu-male

belter

...

had a good idea for an edition before i went to eat but i've forgotten it now
fuck

>some young fucking unintelligent runt electrician is making more money than me even though i sacrificed my best years for schooling and pursuing a physics degree

fucking fuming.

alri sershlad

"What if, as is the case in far too many universities, we are given the message that sexual violence isn't actually a form of violence?"

Emma Watson, UN Goodwill Ambassador, tells the UN General Assembly that universities need to be a safe space for women and minorities.

>he fell for the STEM meme

*becomes an electrician*

a new level of cuck

no need to be jelly m8, seems like its ur attitude holdin u back x

when will they learn?

me helping my sister dance with her boyfriend

Science Technology Electricians and Medicine

do not mention him
the bloody normalton, he abandoned us

me underneath

prepping the bull

just thought you should know, i've been reading this thread for quite a while, and haven't posted until now

not like i lucked into it m8, its hard work, im on call 24hrs, i started when i was 16, its only now im making mega money.

and just cos i didnt go to uni doesn't mean im not intelligent stephan hawking

i wake up every day is a daydream

thanks

i was wondering then you would come out of your shell x

You're clearly a thick cunt though.

prepping the pitbull

Anyone want some of this MDMA, bitches?

woow. ..... dam.... make ye thinken

dont matter making bank x

watching cartoons

what if that were jesus, bro?

Got 9 pills in my house desu
No thank you
My comedown from Saturday has only just ended and that has put me off it now

Those are some clean sidewalks

sys.Cred Forums.org/derefer?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsys.Cred Forums.org%2Fderefer%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fi.imgur.com%252FEIECo0M.gifv

Lads

>MDMA
Enjoy your brain damage.

they're called pavements, yank

You have to be over 18 to post here.

Jesus had a work ethic.

me under the jacket receiving a blowjob

FANNY

>sidewalks

hm not a fan of this prolespeak

was waiting for you to join us actually

Link properly or I will not hesitate to fucking end you

looks pretty old and worn out 2bh

>pills
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER

...

>Why are thick cunt's allowed to make more money than someone that is university educated?

t. paki

That was well gay

MDMA is eurotrash shite real brits take codeine and tranqs

...

Rasheed.

Iceland fact:
the only way to travel in and out of the country is by using a modified trawler which serves as an airplane