/brit/

manlets out edition #2

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twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

FUGGGGGGGGG

that billionaire family on gogglebox

two fitties, one wearing a choker

hnnnnnnnng

Bart

i am still being ironic unironically guys

May have gotten a girl pregnant. What country is easy and nice to move to?

he's not doing himself any favours by wearing shorts that are half as long as his body.

lads

*focuses on /brit/*

Fuck white people desu

>when you see it

Are Gina from England

who /ugly version of Daniel Radcliffe/ here

just flee in the countryside for a while

...

Nah, fuck that. I'm gone.

I don't even love this girl.

>manlet goes to the gym the most out of the entire group because hes the most insecure

every fucking time

Unironically making £28k a year, lads.

fuck off manlet

Best Korea

>So user, you told me we were going on a date to get some food. Instead we're sitting on your balcony eating Squares and cherry tomatoes. Is this romantic in your mind?

Should have thought about that before you stuck your dick in her.

off to my POF date

'Cmon user, eat! Are you shy or what?'

shut the fuck up virgin

Tinder date in 20 mins lads, how do I look?

I'm more like an ugly Robert Pattinson, desu.

wish you lads would stop picking on me for being short x

...

That kid is 10 years old.
He will rek ur as m8

tinder date in 30 seconds

>daniel radcliffe - 1.65m
>emma watson - 1.65m
>rupert grint - 1.73m

something is not right here

>you look like you're fresh out of a gypsie wedding ceremony you fucking oompa loompa cunt if you want to fucking be brought somewhere dress like a woman and not an Ibizan tranny.

hmm

ALBA GU BRÁTH

why are chokers so fucking hot

More like
>Manlet roids because he's the most insecure

absolutely love cherry tomatoes x

Pretty hot

The yankfu

>4/7 of my cousins that are my age or slightly older have kids/are having kids
>My parents haven't even seen me talk to a girl before
Couldn't make it up lads haha

BREGGZIT??????????

heels you mong

It's socially acceptable for women to wear heels
reeeeeee

Mother or daughter?

Wot?

You have proven what I said from the last thread on the negrification of the French, because you are now advocating to act like an African.

please tell me you mean the one on the right

>that guy in the back - 4.23m

Didn't understand a word of this post.

what age

>that hoverhand
fucking beta

what's her name?

would split both of them in twain

Only a matter of time before your mum has the "it's okay to be gay" conversation with you

...

manlets don't need to roid

it's a lot easier to gain mass/cut when you're half the size of an average male

>it's an already tall woman wears heels episode
NOT a fan.

youtube.com/watch?v=jDBL9i_Clg4

NEW CHOON LADS

FUUUUUAAAAARRRRRRK

Is that a chavsda lemonade too? Fucking hell, state of this country

pretty sure she's not gina from england

22

Joke's on you, she already sort of had it with me when I was like 14 because I said I didn't think some bird off Emmerdale was good-looking. She thinks I said I don't fancy the Emmerdale bird because I'm gay but it was actually because it was just a very uncomfortable question to be asked at that time.

hell yes I'm tough enough

>manlets don't need to roid

daughter desu

yeah, eve isn't from a new family is she you melt

The purpose of French women is to bear British (real) men sons.

think i might buy a new bed lads
back is killing me

I don't watch shite like gogglebox you turbororke

>I'm a janitor

literally translated as

>I'm an unemployable lard arse who "patrols" an anime imageboard all day for free and deletes threads that don't meet my autistic criteria

"excuse me please mate", me, trying to squeeze past you as you're stuck in the security scanner in the door of asda with a bag full of chicken sandwich rustlers in your fat sweaty sausage hand

Avena

doubt he roids if he's in a weightlifting competition lad
he'd fail the pisstest x

>watching a tv program about other people watching a tv program and talking over it
Absolute runts the lot of you. Pathetic

youtube.com/watch?v=Le-9uWKe2dk

-machine poster
-toot poster
-king dede poster
-fedora poster
-dumb pirate frogsposter
-the racist from austria

>when """she""" pisses standing up
>

my mam randomly asks me sometimes if I have a gf and I instinctively respond "no" in an 8 year old "girls are yucky" tone

Tad jelly

i have suspicions that this fine young lady may not in fact be of age

>has an english name
>due to immigration from korea to england she can be thought of as an english citizen

you're wrong m8

...

sounds like based janny rustled some weeb spammer

We've got Gogglebox here as well, though the main demographic of viewers is still runts and the lower classes

FUCK. THE GIRL I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN PREGNANT IS ON THE WAY TO MY HOUSE TO TALK AND I LET IT SLIP THAT I'M HOME.

What do I do?!

Should I throw water on her or something?

of age to what?
have her photo taken?

Finished my online shop lads. Bought cider, chocolate peanuts, ice cream and blueberries.

Pretty much every strongman competition doesn't test
There are a handful of tested ones but nobody cares about those

youtube.com/watch?v=IyRbS4KR0IU

the gf and I

*doesn't work*

misanthrop - i need more

>Lush facemask on
>Room dark other than mac
>Fan on giving a casual breeze
>Listening to this youtube.com/watch?v=7gPD7kY1amE

MEGA fucking comfy atm lads

*channels energy into my 7th chakra*

yes

Put your total 90's on and two foot her in the stomach

>removing anime on an anime based website

I don't bloody think so mate

lads

why are drunk wanks so satisfying but drunk sex isn't?

Didn't even consider opening this.

>girls are yucky tone
Got this issue too. But it's only because they insist on talking to me about girls as if I'm still an 8 year old. I casually name-dropped a girl from uni in a conversation and they immediately bombarded me with questions about her, what she looks like, if I fancy her, if I'm going to ask her out, is she cute, so on and so forth. I'd tell them I'm gay just to shut them up if I wasn't so vehemently homophobic all the time. Don't think they'd fall for it, given the attitudes I've expressed.

hmm should i wear my total 90s, nike tn or nike shox to the club 2nite

>I poured you a glass of wine user. I don't suppose you could give my feet a massage? I'm so worn out.

youtube.com/watch?v=4bMQTU2iI1E
alri neuro lad

drank wanks remove the feeling of self hatred that normally immediately follow your cum

Frenchwomen belong to British men.

avatarfagging is against the rules chum

me on top

rido's new album is pure choons tbqh

Got banned for posting vampire girls with willies on /brit/ haha.

What's the maddest thing you've rver done to get banned?

might kill myself lads

went to my local chinese to get some food and I saw the qtiest girl ive ever laid eyes upon she said "Hiya" to me and then said "bye bye" 2 byes lads not one but two.

I nearly hnnnnngd in the shop lads, It was too much, she will never be mine.

I told you not to wear those stupid shoes
I'll be in the tub

>Sheffield

what's the point just disband it and salt the ground so nothing grows there ever

kill yourself fucking scumbag

>being this desperate for (You)s

ffs lad

The most satisfying wanks are the 8AM comedown wanks when it takes 15 mins to get it up and a good hour to cum but you can't sleep anyway so it was worth it

...

me on the right there having a think

and?

It's a brit on holiday la, just getting the most use out of his time posting with a french flag

pirate scum

>be from Sheffield
>have fucked several Polish girls
>one is currently smitten with me

You mad, cunt?!

me and the lads

>gogglebox

ah yes, the unwashed english masses

revolting

thanks for the (You).

I hardly ever have drunk wanks cuz I'm doing something else while drunk
Drunk sex is great cuz I usually last longer so I can fuck her brains out and even if I get beer weenie I can eat her out til she cums and finish off the next morning

Who else here is appreciative of the janny? He does a great job and is an upstanding gentleman

>poland
whats the point in this place let's just divide it between germany and the ussr

he is copying my gimmick xD

how I feel right now

I think every parents are like this mate
they're just worried about you. that's good

fucking hell lad some kid just threw a boomerang at someone and its knocked half his fucking head off

>So user, who has the best bum?

had a gf but never told my parents cus I can't stand the questions.

Was a rough breakup too so I'm glad I didn't.

oh

>chocolate milk and peanut butter cookies

top comfy

Thinking of getting a cat and naming it Mosley

>smitten

I bet you use "hither" and "thither" unironically

you on the left there love

2,1

both bums quite bad tb h

both flat

Business idea: it's a cold, crisp December morning somewhere in the Midlands, I walk into a pub, buy a pint and drink it whilst golden brown by the stranglers is playing, walk out once I've finished and spark up a ciggy whilst I walk around, inhaling the cold morning air and taking in the Christmas decorations

not sure, think i need a better look of them wahay

fuck me lads on tuesday I am going to receive £1,600 into my bank account

I am going to be fucking minted on tuesday/wednesday, who wants to get on it?

bit euphoric, that

right
both are a bit flat though

the 60p aldi ones or the £12.50 waitrose ones?

need a thicc gf. if you're not attracted to this, you're gay

Absolute melts though. Guarantee if I ever get a gf, when I bring her over for the first time to meet them, they'll fucking Spanish Inquisition the shit out of me and start loudly and emphatically mentioning how she's the first girl they've ever met and how she's probably my first gf.

smitten is a normal word lad

bit cold out

...

the fanny

Just read on article on a guy that has a mircopenis

Feel bad for the lad but God works in mysterious ways desu

Can we get a songs that were literally everywhere but you've probably forgottenabout them thread?

youtube.com/watch?v=y7ZEVA5dy-Y

Duffy- Mercy

You're not /brit/ if your year 9 music wasn't learning this on keyboard

>like to smoke weed
>parents are totally against it
>honestly see it as bad as heroin or some shit
>they're always away on business
>not seen them in months
>coming back tomorrow for several months

How do I still get stoned without them knowing? They would literally disown me if they found out. That's how bad it is to them.

what uni led

Neither of you. haha.

"treat em mean keep em keen, right /brit/"

giz us a fiver then

hello me

...

and then promptly get stabbed to death by pakis

>tfw 6'4 and built like a brick shithouse

if everyone on /brit/ was put in a steel cage and forced to fight to the death I would easily be the last man standing, genuinely

i sit here sometimes looking at the smart arse posts you little students and neets make and just chuckle to myself because if you ever said anything like that to my face (as if you would dare) you could literally be eating pavement in under a second

think on

>yanks

Fuck sake

Mum is at a barbecue/party thing and just got tagged in this photo

Where do you lads buy your footwear, need a new pair and don't know where to buy shoes.

Bet she absolutely fucking stinks

don't talk to me your country is a joked

ravaged by emus
nigger economy based on mining shit
NATIONAL SORRY DAY
stolen pavlova from new zealand

youtube.com/watch?v=THt5u-i2d9k

yeah I dread this also. cringe at the thought.

I am speaking to you from the Cabinet Room at 10, Downing Street.

This morning the Anonymous Ambassador in Berlin, Cena Boyle, handed the Janitor Government a final note stating that unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock, that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from brit Cred Forums, that a state of war would exist between us.

I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Janny.

steelers are the best hockey team we have
so the city gets a pass from desu

cringe

edibles, a vape pen with concentrates, taking a walk, stop being underage

madman

Ah fuck, think you've outdone me already lad.

Top choice.

How do you get high usually? You can get a vape or start using edibles or go "for a walk" and hope you don't smell like skunk every time you come home

>tfw on double figures but never had a gf so parents think I'm shit with women

i used eyedrops when I still lived with me parents. you can get them without prescriptions

they would prob act like this if you were a teen. now that you're an adult I don't think it would be THAT bad

...

You're polish.

you grow up you fucking child

I have a vape pen but it doesn't seem to get me stoned.

Take a brisk walk around Rothley and there's a nice, distinct lack of brown hued gentlemen.

Weed should unironically be legalised ASAP

value village or payless shoes lad

alan tit meme

no, I'm really French and I believe in what I say

...

>he doesn't use hither or thither unironically
joey

Uhhh, you don't get to bring Yoga 710's

Shoes Oan

still unironically more of a human being than some fucking australian

just pack it in mate

any of you lads hit a wax pen? all i can say about them is wew

Got these for going out in

pirate scumbag

Agreed, but not a massive weed smoker really
I'll have a bit if it's going but don't pick up any more. Only ever smoke on MD now really

wew, having genetics that shit is pretty bad.

looks like the pepe with a big arse lool.

what are you vaping in it? The concentrates are more powerful than regular weed or even hash

> apostrophes on a plural
back to key stage 1

yeah brass rubbings are pretty mental haha
"wew" haha

No but I have an MFLB that gets the job done

I disagree because Australians are the descendants of the English and the Irish.

You are from Eastern Europe

Only thing the Polish are good for is shagging (the girls) and cleaning my toilet (everyone else)

could do with a handjob

why are poles such big bullies ;_;

No matter where I roam, I will return to my English rose

literally will be /fa/ by February, mark my words.

I know my parents. My dad would be utterly MERCILESS.

how do edibles work? are you supposed to cook it yourself?

>SS17 ozweegos

would cop

Is it autistic if I ask a girl who sits across from me at work to stop twizzling her hair?

She like twizzles it and brings it to her nose like she's sniffing it then lets it go agian and does the same.

It's driving me fucking insane because it's in my eyeline constantly.

most girls are terrible at blowjobs

they don't know how to use their tongue and hands for christ sakes

I'm waiting for the McKenzie jacket revival

Eastern Europe has contributed far more to the overall Western civilisation than any Anglo country ever

a Pole invented refined oil for Christ's sake without it you wouldn't be cucked by the SNP

Yes

cum in 5 minutes or so from wanking but seems to take fucking hours when a girl does it

fuck sake

Show 'em how it's done then lad

>You're not /brit/ if your year 9 music wasn't learning this on keyboard
year 9 music was spamming the samples in Atlantis to Interzone

Anglo countries are responsible for 90% of civilisation

We have literally invented everything possible

Staying in on a friday night lads?

this isn't like you

jk it is

enjoy wanking to your anime porn later and crying while I'm having pre's with the lads tony dave donny and ahmed.

going to pull some fit bird tonight, get her to take me back to her house then pish all over her bed.

literally sound like me when i was 16 you melt

grow up you fucking spacker

not at all

You can make them yourself or buy them

PAKIS OUT

like what you tit

This. Got a 7 inch knob and every single girl I've fucked as only ever gone 2-3 inches deep and barely used their hand.

Still feels good when they suck the bellend hard tho.

...

ask her if you twizzle her fanny hair

is it just me or are all The Smiths' songs identical?

everything

>Hi there user, thanks for applying for the vacancy of My Boyfriend. As my prospective boyfriend, what can you offer me in the relationship department that no one else can? What are your strengths? Bear in mind that I'm also talking to four other lads that are interested in this vacancy!

Hello guys. I've come to the terrible realization im just a loser. And I don't know how to fix myself.

>Im a kissless virgin at 22
>Watch cuckold porn unironically everyday
>Still live with my parents, simply because they feel bad so they don't kick me out
>Not good at a single thing in the world
>Have spent 5 hours average on Cred Forums per day for the last 3 years
>No friends
>Never had a gf
>Not even fit despite being on /fit/ for so long

How the fuck do i fix myself? Should I just completely change myself, do the opposite of what id normally do and never look back?

I know this is starting to look like a blogpost deserving to be on tumblr but I'm just losing hope. It was fun at first but now I'm realizing I'm becoming the person Ive never wanted to be.

>past 10
>pres
ah, too be young
and also a bellend

fucking loathe normies posting on image boards

gently *force their head*
hot as fuck

just tell them not to act like mongs if you ever take a girl home for dinner with your parents or something. my dad also acted like a cunt with the two girls i ever brought home. my mum was a bit nicer though

You wanna fight, mate?

don't like this gimmick it makes me feel under pressure

specifics you mong

Shan't be reading this

fuck off you literal child

this thread goes so fast, plz calm down

just be yourself

watching it follows lads

more like it *snoooorrreeesss*

***yyyyyaaawwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn***** wew lads

Did a thing lads

Asians lad, they're asians. Paki wouldn't be inclusive. What you meant was
>ASIANS OUT

do you have the required machines to justify you posting here?

>Eastern Europe has contributed far more to the overall Western civilisation than any Anglo country ever
absolutely howling at this

all the things

i think i could unironically give a great blowjob

>cold enough for a duvet & blanket

comfy

>telling my parents not to act like mongs
My ma would clip me round the ear and my da would act like the biggest mong of all time just to spite me.

considering a leg lengthening operation

get a fucking grip and square your life away you turbo lizard mong

only one way to find out
*unzips dick*

>girl is blowing me
>starts to grab my ballbag and do something down there
not sure what she was doing but fuck it felt good

fuck off you underage melt

>Watch cuckold porn unironically everyday
Fucking hell lad stop that shit.

really hate "dates" and interviews
unnecessary pressure

they call me the fanny demolisher

wow

Ah yes, that first sip of the day

Pro-tip: When having sex with girl moan and show them how much you're enjoying it. They fucking love the self-affirmation.

Obviously don't go over board and moan and groan like a spacker. Be subtle about it.

anything except football? you're rubbish at it anyway tbqh (to be quite frank [honest])

20 years old and a girl has never made me cum and i've been with 4 women in my life ama

i can name all the fascinating witches who put the scintilating stiches in the britches of the boys who put the powder on the noses on the faces of the ladies of the harem of the court of King Catactacus

can we stop talking about girls and sex lads

>my da would act like the biggest mong of all time just to spite me.
lmao

prostate massage

the fuck else is there to talk about

I pretend I'm the woman or the Bull, never the cuck

t. virgin

>huuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
>that feels fuckin gooooooood
>hhuuuuuuhhhhhhhh
>Yeah baby don't stop
>uuuuuggggghghhhhhhhhhh

Brits invented football, along with nearly every other sport

3 0 0 0
0
0
0

...

aaaayyyyy

sip big to get big my lad.

boys and football

Everything good in the world was invented by an Englishman.


God is also an Englishman.

Jokes on you I'm at work and Mr Goldsten won't let me leave until late night

about culture

t. rasheed

>A study by MITI - Japan's equivalent of the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) - concluded that 54% of the world's most important inventions were British. Of the rest, 25% were American and 5% Japanese.
you're not even mentioned lmao

More like you're t.virgin.

>I pretend I'm the woman

Sophie, what the fuck, that bottle was like £600 and you've drawn a fucking winged lion on it
For fuck's sake

you got fucked by Iceland mate

god's a hebe

ordering a cease and desist

coherent post

>mouth ulcer

zzzz, piss off.

I like football

you watching the game tomorrow

yeah can't wait it'll be great haha

what about boys?

You are a mong lad

I'm at uni sweetie :)x

*accidentally bites it*

Most Polish looking cunts ever

save our nhs

what part of the football do you like?

looks disgusting with blonde hair

if i was her bf, would definitely batter her real good to let her know she doesn't change anything about her unless i tell her so

love a good mouth ulcer

cant stop tonguing the bastard and feeling that stingy sensation

Poles are ungrateful 2bqh

We saved them from the Nazis and let them immigrate here and respond by being utter twats.

at least I'm not from Yorkshite

had a corneal ulcer earlier this year
was fucking awful, worst pain I've had that actually lasted

...

probably going too hard on you lately lad

Footy, stone roses, the lads, my stoney and adidas

All I need

You get banned for anything here nowadays

the jannies truly are jokes

no nonononono Russia saved those subhumans, not you

...

Snap

ah right you are, we are in /brit/ after all.

They're cool

The part where they take off their tops and show off the muscles I'll never have

think its the 5th post running you've made at me

>tfw have fit body
>can never show it off

ball just went out deflected off the defender.. don't mind if i take the corner mate?

Have you lads actually talked to a slag? Most dismally boring and unattractive people you'll come across.

give us a look x

Anyone been Halfords to have work done before?

Quite a big fan of when when man kicks the ball

we've saved your london in aerial fucking combat and you told us to pay you for gas and bullets spent by our planes

why in the fuck would we be grateful

...

fucking hell lads

someones actually developed a hearing device which translates languages in real time

huh, gets my noggin going

Might become a personal trainer and teach fat old men and women going through a midlife crisis to become "toned" and "trim"

I'd only use them for minor stuff like lights/small bodywork

fingered maisie williams round the back of a halfords once

*smacks the ball clear*

Robbie Williams made some shit songs

youtube.com/watch?v=1l52QZmN1Gs

and some absolute floorfillers

youtube.com/watch?v=cvn6eYJh-0c

What are you asking for me? Do I look like I partake in such trivial games? Now, if you could be so kind as to direct me to the nearest purveyor of vaporizers.

Go to the beach or a pool
I almost alway wear a shirt so it was a nice change to go to my mates pool party and show off my build to the girls

New exhaust?

get in, my son

want 2 cop a bomber jacket lads

*tackles the man*

rasheed

what about when the ball goes over the goal line?
that's pretty exciting

*final whistle blows*

damn.... better luck next time...

*drops my shoulder*

*makes a run into the box*

just got called a nonce on another board lads

Wouldnt be seen dead in a black bomber about belfast

loool SS15 is that-a-way pal

Don't know never had major stuff done, they just seem a bit amateur

*gets rid*

on a bulk so look a little fatter than usual.

christ I forgot about rudebox

...

*applies self*

*slides it through*

prefer the man pulling on the rope myself

fucking queer

i ought to bash your dome in with my meathooks

Business idea: seat on the bus that don't feel like I'm sitting on concrete

aren't those more like army jackets though?

bombers stopped being in around 2014 you twat

*keeps things ticking over in midfield*

Stop North American Posters

on the bus

*forces a corner*

...

why did you disconnect from me earlier on omegle

...

cousin just sent me this

whats on the cards for aw16-7 lads

shut up jose, go get beheaded

>tfw this lad I went to uni with races for Oracle and has been living in Bermuda for the past two years

And I'm here living the NEET life

Yeah the front row right and left are

rest are bomber jackets. Green bomber jackets for republican paramilitaries and black ones for unionist paramilitaries. Atleast thats how it was back in the old days.

Would willingly trade our Pole for that nice Austrian fellow from earlier.

Laughed hard as fuck at this.

You're a fucking fat bitch m8

jog on mate, I know what's what.

shes a porn star isn't she

ffs

this is a new low

>tfw no one would bum me

Snap

SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET THEIR HEAD KICKED IN TONIGHT

who is dis

this webm always gets me hard, especially that drop of sloppy spit at the end

hnnnngh

want to touch her thigh

SNAPCHAT

ah yes, christians

>The cuck in the driving seat

because I'm a horny Indian and you didn't say "f"

ah I see, pictures a bit hard to make out.

recognising a porn star is a new low? you must be a saint

*switches the play*

I would willingly firebomb Yorkshite

im on a bulk you little twink. i would destroy you

2,1

tell him that they're shit now LMAO

this george from wakey(AKA lad who posts pics that arent him)?

*beats the last man*

*marks my man*

Laughing My Ass OFF

...

im able to do this too not a poof though

I'm from Yorkshire, Sheffield to be precise and I have fucked several Polish girls.

What you gonna do about it?!

How often do you change your sheets lids?

*heads it clear*

LADS WATCH YOUR PERIMETER

YES SIRRRR

MY HEADS FLYING

WHO WANTS A FUCKING GO THEN !!!

You see these arms, fatass? You'd have no chance. Burgers are delusional

God's Own County > pooland

>army jackets
it's called a smock you philistine
>Green bomber jackets for republican paramilitaries and black ones for unionist paramilitaries
Looks like the old denison smocks to me
A bomber jacket is a fleece lined leather jacket for use on WW2 bombers

haha, really love being a fallible human thought machine

>The restaurant has added 10 minutes to your delivery time
Reeeeeee

Don't know who you're talking about lad, I did put the mountain on his arse without difficulty though

5'11 stood next to 6'1