ITT: Creepy album covers

A Farewell to Kings [Mercury, 1977]

The most obnoxious band currently making a killing on the zonked teen circuit. Not to be confused with Mahogany Rush who at least spare us the reactionary gentility. Imagine a power trio Kansas or Uriah Heep with the vocals cranked up an octave. Or two. D+

christgau is a fucking retard who dosen't know good music if it bit him on the dick

Aw, poor progbabby hates the truth.

Leftoverture [Kirshner, 1976]

Q: How do you tell American art-rockers from their European forebears? A: They sound dumber, they don't play as fast, and their fatalism lacks conviction. The question of humor remains open: Impressed as I am with titles like "Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat" and Leftoverture itself, I find no parallels in the music. D+

Close to the Edge [Atlantic, 1972]

What a waste. They come up with a refrain that sums up everything they do--"I get up I get down"--and apply it only to their ostensible theme, which is the "seasons of man" or something like that. They segue effortlessly from Bach to harpsichord to bluesy rock and roll and don't mean to be funny. Conclusion: At the level of attention they deserve they're a one-idea group. Especially with Jon and Rick up front. C+

Only Heepheads will get this

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The Magician's Birthday [Mercury, 1972]

Third-hand heavy metal fantasies, like Led Zep only more literal, hooked to some clean, powerful arrangements, and a good melody or two. Okay stuff. B-

Kansas should be proof of why Americans and prog do not mix.

Didn't Family guy do a dumb joke about this cover art?

youtube.com/watch?v=9V_CvrkSnaQ

Bee Thousand [Scat, 1994]

On most of these 20-tracks-in-36-minutes, the tunes emerge if you stick around, but they're undercut by multiple irritants. The lyrics are deliberately obscure, the structures deliberately foreshortened, the vocals a record collector's Anglophilia-in-the-shower; the rec-room production is so inconsistent you keep losing your bearings, as befits resident art-rock fan Robert Pollard's boast (which echoes Lou Barlow's, what a coincidence) that some recordings aren't just first takes but first plays, of songs he'd dreamed up since the last time the band came over. In short, this is pop for perverts--pomo smarty-pants too prudish and/or alienated to take their pleasure without a touch of pain to remind them that they're still alive. B-

Alien Lanes [Matador, 1995] *bomb*

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In Christgau's vocabulary, "art rock" means "Anything I don't like."

>from Bach to harpsichord to bluesy rock and roll
Id love to know what strange alternate universal version of close to the edge was he listening to

I always wonder why Ozzy has always been a dickbag and refused to perform Dio songs live while Bruce Dickinson has always had no problem doing those songs from the first two Maiden albums.

I think he might have reviewed Fragile by mistake
Lmao. Probly cus Ozzy knows he can't sing them. I love Ozzy but ya wow, what a dickbagle.

I don't think Ozzy could do those songs if he wanted to; he doesn't have the pipes for it.

Same reason David Lee Roth won't do Sammy Hagar songs. He doesn't consider that version of Van Halen to be legitimate.

Though I'm pretty sure Sammy did perform Roth songs during his time with the band.

He did perform DLR-era songs, but I really don't think he wanted to do it and Eddie probably had a gun pointed at him.

Now it's funny you mention that because Rob Halford has done Black Sabbath covers live before, and he's absolutely great at the Dio stuff, but he can't do Ozzy songs without butchering them.

As a kid my dad would leave this album lying around the house and it would give me nightmares. Still kinda eerie today.

Yeah you need to have a very flat voice for the Ozzy songs. I can do them pretty good because I have that kind of voice, Dio or Halford songs are beyond me.

Good job answering your own question.

... why

Jesus Christ

I still don't understand who the guy on the cover is or why he's cringing

IMAGINE A TIME
WHEN IT ALL BEGAN

>not making this your album cover

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forgot image

It was originally a painting done by Frank Freas for a science fiction magazine in the 50s, and they asked him to redo it for the album cover.

this room just looks like some fucked up shit went down in it

Queen were really pretty amateurish musicians, even the controlled studio environment could barely cover it up.

IN THE DYING DAYS OF THE WAR
A WEAPON THAT WOULD SETTLE THE SCORE

I know. I was just listening to a couple of their songs and I thought "Damn, these guys sound like 15 year olds who just got a guitar and a drum kit."

nah you're imagining things

booga booga booga!

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I dunno it just always spooked me out as a kid

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this is the creepiest shit

I turned on the intro of this in the middle of the night when I had some friends sleeping over. They got _really_ scared.

All the brightest boys

I can't decide if it's better or worse as a thumbnail

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>.gif

ya almost got me ya dangus

yea that's a little creepy

he's cringing because of your shit taste

marilyn manson sucks but this cover is spooky

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Why does he suck though? His first 4 albums are really great, presentation may be edgy to some but the music is good. After holy wood, I agree he isn't as great and its more hit and miss and isnt as consistent as he once was in the past.

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