I could not get through september

Two weeks ago I guy I trusted raped me
That very same night my best friend tried to kill himself
Literally after experienecing the most degrading and disturbing thing in my life I charge my dead phone to see xty missed calls and some voice mail messages telling me how he swallowed several bottles of pills
He survived but goddam that was the worst day of my life and it kind of broke me
I've been really depressed and have had no energy or motivation
My rapist is still out there. I have literally no evidence that what happened happened and "men can't get raped" so I don't trust the law
All of our mutual friends know what happened (because I told them) and I'm scared that he's going to retaliate

Funny thing is I heard this album for the first time this month. It's currently a favorite of mine and I definitely connected to that line very much.

depression, guilt, loneliness, grief, ocd, health, social anxiety, anxiety, scared someone I love is gonna die and there's nothing I can do.

Also I ruined so many peoples lives.

I just want to die :(

School, women, social life

Of course by school I mean the weight of so much shit to do with so little time
Of course by women I mean the girl I've been going on and off with for five years is starting to ignore me again
Of course by social life I mean I try to spend as much time with the few friends I have because I fucked myself by commuting my first year of college

It's getting monotonous at this point

i've wanted to try smoking recently

Hey man... even if you don't like these guys, this song is for you: youtube.com/watch?v=Pa0a5WYTB9g

i don't know how to express it with words but how i imagine that scenario must feel makes me have a strong something

what've you done to them?

being completely serious here. you should beat that asshole within an inch of his life.

I mean, I like it. It definitely can be pleasurable, but you have to be really careful to not get addicted. Personally, I just like to do it socially, but recently it started getting more than that.

I accidently ruined their career. I mean I was doing something wrong in the first place (talking behind their back) but then it lead to their career being destroyed. It doesn't they have a history of hurting themselves.

I'm seriously gonna kill myself.

September really is the worst month. Hopefully things usually work out better in October. I had a suicidal break down and have been trying to get as much help as possible. I'm doing better now, but I still worry that at any point it'll get bad again.

This as well. I decided to not go to school this year. However that entire process and trying to find meaning in life for this next year is very tiring.

Cringing at this threads self importance and victim mentality.

the narcissism of "i destroyed someone's life" always makes me uncomfortable

what about you?

The same old same old lack of emotion, love and care for anything, fear of impending death/eternal torment, social anxiety, work, college, etc

One of the best songs of all time imo

I have food on my table, and internet to shit post. There's literally nothing wrong with life.

I really can't into the Swans but that was a pretty good song
A bit uncomfortable to listen to though given the subject matter
If I could have even approached beating this guy in a fight I wouldn't have gotten raped now would I?
Also assault charges probably wouldn't make my life happier

Killing yourself isn't going to bring their career back or make them happy

>all this whining about girl problems
you niggas don't know how good you have it

you should tell the police

This, suicide is only a quick way out for you. Help then get back on their feet instead of trying to get out of the guilt that is on you.

>whining about no gf
If not having a girlfriend is the biggest concern in your life. Your life is golden.

>If I could have even approached beating this guy in a fight I wouldn't have gotten raped now would I?
get like a weapon or something. no matter what, make sure it isn't a fair fight.
>Also assault charges probably wouldn't make my life happier
you could probably keep it on the dl somehow

I had to tell a friend that I couldn't hang out with her anymore because I couldn't keep my feelings for hee platonic and she has a boyfriend. I met another girl a few weeks ago though so things are actually starting to look up for once.

Debating on whether or not to do that with a girl I've been best friends with for three years. We'd go in two month stretches where we'd pretty much be dating and then it would stop for four months. Shit's tough man

Burden of proof lies on my shoulders and I have absolutely none
There were no witnesses. It was just me and him at his house. My phone was dead. I didn't tell anyone I would be there. All he has to do is call me a liar and get off Scott free.
I really don't see a way where I get away with that
Even if I do get away with that who's to say that won't give him similar ideas? Violence isn't the answer

>Violence isn't the answer
bro, you can't just have someone do that to you and then let it slide.

Leaving school, coming home, having an existential crises, trying to figure out what I want to do. Also tfw no gf.

I've been thinking about leaving school. I'm not really happy here, but I don't have enough money or talent to go anywhere else. Sometimes I look at my friends who can afford to go to school in NYC and really hate them.

but if I went home, I'd probably just live with my parents and get a shitty job and eventually kill myself

See I'm a sophomore right now, I did a year at cc and went to uni at the start of this semester, but I absolutely hated it. I felt so lonely and my depression got the best of me so I decided to come home, plus the money was just too much and I'm afraid of debt. I'm currently taking 2 online classes so I don't get yelled at, but they're so easy I'm basically a NEET.
Also probably this

losing all my friends, my first real love leaving me, school and my own tendency to escape via drugs

there's really nothing positive about hurting someone, his reputation has been damaged anyway

I grazed my knee last week

loneliness, being fuck ugly, noticing that my college drinking is slowly turning into a full on alcohol problem that will fuck up my life in five to ten years

same, man
knew i was gonna revert to some old ways of day-to-daying after moving, didn't realize all the patterns would come back. Fuck patterns man

Burning out at work, trying to figure out if I still love my girlfriend

I've always found that suicide by train would be probably the most successful considering I live by one and don't have a gun.

I would like to write a short story first or something but I will probably do it very soon.

I really love you Cred Forums

>didn't realize all the patterns would come back
I resubbed to WoW after not playing since highschool, my life is regressing.

Don't do it bruh

I'm starting counseling now and seeing if trying antidepressants will help

and best of luck to you senpai, i wish that there was more I could do to help, because i know that that sucks a lot

hey man, i've been thinking the same thing a lot recently. but i've struggled with this shit for many years and suicide runs in the family. just get out of where you are. drive away, sell everything you've got, do whatever the hell you want to. try every drug, fuck every woman, move across the country. if you've really got nothing to live for, at least live out your final days, you feel me? it's always a better option than ending it.

-t. man who plans to jump off the Golden Gate before 30