Trying to kick the habit. On a comedown and trying to avoid giving in to my cravings and hitting up a connect...

When I quit I moved in with my mom for a few months. Slept a lot. Threw myself into videogames and drank when I had really bad urges. Been clean almost 3 years, doing all right now. Keep your head up. Only you can get you clean. The key is distraction and finding a way and a reason to live without it. You are better than that drug, regardless of who you are, who it makes you out to be. Clean yourself up, start working more and go to the gym. Find that new "high".

your fingers look normal. Chill on your bars, eat and drink water and then sleep for a day. Wake up and drink more water and dont smoke that shit anymore

Lots of xanax. Consider snorting in the future if you feel like you can't live without it. I never did smoke it but I've plugged it and banged it.

in the same boat OP. im playingh guitar to keep my mind occupied. you absolutely HAVE to find a hobby. nothing else works.

The camera doesn't do it justice but it's yellowing and spreading by the hour. I'm not even tweaked anymore otherwise I'd just dismiss it all. Pain in my liver is too bad to stand. Shaking like a scared puppy. Adds up to OD brother.

You are all out of benzos?

Yuuuup. Nothing to stop the rollercoaster. I'm gonna ride it right on down. 6 feet down to be exact. Wonder when my family will notice I haven't left my room in a while...

GO TO THE HOSPITAL if you're that concerned. they don't care what drugs yøu've done.

Death might suck, but worse would be to suffer a stroke and be retarded for the rest of your life.

also, you've been up for days. things don't look normal to you.

It's actually really funny. I'd always laugh when someone told me I'd go out like a fucking druggie. I guess it's fitting, seeing as I'm going nowhere fast. Lost my job, soon my car, and soon after my place of residence to be homeless with the rest of my family. I guess this is easier too. Just gotta stay right where I am and keep crying like a bitch until I just crash. Then it's over.

I've already slept. I fucked myself up with it with mass amounts over the past days. I didn't eat for any of them except a sandwich today. I'm in full shutdown and can't bring myself to give a shit. Wanted to kick it but it seems too late as the pain in my side grows.

How much longer do u think you have

pain in the side could also be attributed to dehhydration. especially if it hurts when your move your arms a certain way.

Why/how'd you start? Genuine question.

I don't have a lot of respect for drug users. Feel like most of them "want" to clean up, but few do (Some of my best friends are now-sober ex-alcoholics).
But I also know those that are trying hard to clean up sometimes need a chance - a job, a helping hand at times.

>you absolutely HAVE to find a hobby.
This. The physical addiction's over with a lot quicker than the mental addiction.

It started as a dull ache and is now swollen and tender as fuck. Knocked back tons of water recently but don't know if will even help at this point. I look like a white skeleton and shake like one too. Nothing to cope with all this shit this time. Broke and out of luck. Pushed way past my tolerances. Should have stroked by now.

>a lot quicker than the mental addiction.
>>>
how much have you done over the past few days?

I don't want to want it, but I do and just don't control myself anymore. In the case I'm not on my way out, I'll do the same shit again when my depression takes me away at night. It isn't a way to live. Its fucking agony coupled with brief and unfulfilling highs.

In total? I'm not sure. I don't remember not smoking. About 3 grams probably maybe a little less, totalled up with the party nights.

dont buy it
cut off contacts with other users/dealers (let them down easy)
wrap up and stow away your paraphanalia

then just dont smoke

and dont replace it with cigs or beer or whatever

only the first week sucks,
you will be irritable
stay away from people

from now until you die:
get rest and nutrition (read up on actual sleep and nutrition, make good food choices)
excercise till you sweat heavily, and take good showers.

how to deal with cravings
make sure to study your thoughts
study your train of thought to catch yourself when you have a craving
"how did i get to thinking about it again?"
"what was the exact moment of distraction?"

realize you're lazy and like to get high all the time and do nothing.
realize you need to fix your discipline.
after quitting you will immediately feel like you have a lot of free time, a sense of "what do i do now?" and thats how you should feel because drugs take up entirely too much time...studying them, buying them, finding contacts, cleaning paraph., being high, coming down, the actual process of injection/smoking/ingestion/use takes a long time by itself.

it helps to find more productive ways to spend your time. and realize if youre feeling sad, its merely a chemical imbalance due to fucking with your dopamine receptors for so long. it takes a while to get back to normal. if you were addicted for 4 years, it may take up to 4 years of sobriety to rewire yourself back to 100%

best part is that since being high felt normal, being sober feels like a trip now. sobriety becomes a drug of clarity, except you dont have to buy it from shady people, and it actually helps your body rather than deteriorate it. oh yeah, and its 100% free.

its been a year now and i dont miss it even one bit. i enjoy the benefits of my free time, extra cash, and better social circle

Yea man go from smoking to just snorting, or just smoke weed

Your probably right. I really can't tell if I'm actually dieing or it's residual paranoia but it fucking hurts. Something got fucked in that last fun and it wasn't the good kind of fucked. I don't know what to do with my time so I just fill it up with garbage and false friends who like my purchases. I just don't feel like anything anymore. It eats up more than your physical health...

Dude.... you're not going to die from that amount over the course of a few days, you'd probably have to inject that all at once, and even then you'd probably be okay.

Do you people ever make little remarkable life musings while on hard drugs about "life in general" that for some reason somehow seems, like not so obvious to the plain eye.

Sure feels like I'm dying. But jaundice doesn't lie. I'm definitely sick at this point. I took little care of myself. I'm not even sure the time period is right anymore. If I could sleep again I would but after I woke up (?) ago I feel tweaked again even though I'm sober. Gun shots in the distance. Sounds like another gang fight...

I'm on a comedown atm too, OP. So tired. I might just end up watching porn for hours.

I wish porn could help me now. Moving is painful. If I had some bud that shit would be in my lungs right now but I have nothing to cope but the barking dogs and automatic fire in the distance.

i went through the stupid "woe is me im depressed" phase too

its just chemical imbalances

you have to recognize your emotions dont mean shit right now. they are false representations due to your chemical imbalance.

be more analytical with your approach to life.

in fact, if you don't know advanced mathematics, teach it to yourself on youtube. physics, calculus, algebra and geometry can go a loooooooooong fucking way in developing your brain. You become permanently smarter.

remember, fuck your emotions, get smart, get nutrition, get rest.

I'd love rest right now. I'm exhausted but my body won't sleep. Feel like the pain in my abdomen is letting up but I don't know. I'm probably over reacting. Just yesterday I was talking to a man on my couch that wasn't there and hearing my friends talk about me... outside my window at 3 am. Then there was the radio in my room that kept playing old 20s music. At least I'm out of the psychosis but I feel all kinds of fucked I've never reached before. I just want to sleep. Time for another cancerstick.