Happy Bird hopes you all have a good day

Happy Bird hopes you all have a good day.

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youtube.com/watch?v=5q57jYT05tk
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I hope your owner sets you on fire

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hello

Yea, thx birdy.

Thank you Happy Bird. A good day to you too, buddy.

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Thank you happy bird

Thanks happy bird. You're a good guy.

Fucking finally. A legit post on the worlds worst website.

>you too OP!
>you too...

been hands down the worst yesr of not only my life but pretty much all of my friends'.

Legit called a childhood friebd 10 minutes ago. The happiest dude ever. Any time i feel bad i call him uo and he's so fucking positive we plan a hog hunt or a cookout a month later.

Not this time.

"My wife left, trying to take the kid, rolled my 2016 truck i couldnt afford 6 times."

Seriously??? For almost a year now my best friends be dropping like flies or having horrible shit happen to them and there isnt shit i can do to help because i'm on the verge of eating a bullet and can't even afford gas money to go see if they are okay...


Fuck my fucking life...


Oh... bonus, got my balls cut a week ago. Tried to sex my wife this morning. After moving all the sleep ap hoses and coords and bullshit on my side of the bed i get a scoffed at "no."

No.... like wtf...

Wife won't allow me to go down on her.

Won't blow me.

Won't sex me... etc.

Is it even worth planting the cameras to see if cheating at this point or do i just pack my shit and fucking leave???

Own the house next door.


My ex wife of 15 years and i are neighbors.

>mfw

I used to have a pet bird but I never cleaned his cage as often as I should have.
I did make sure to give him clean water and food, though, but I felt bad for not changing the paper at the bottom of his cage as often as I should have.
He lived to over 10 years old and LOVED the Andy Griffith Show.
He'd start chirping like crazy when it came on.

thank you Happy Bird.

Dubs bird!

Thanks OP!

Happy Flying Doggo hopes YOU have a good day!

Sounds like you're a mile up shit creek without a paddle. No advice I could possibly give, but one thing i'm sure of is that better times will come again. Hope you make it through this rough time of your life. It will only make you a stronger and better person.

noooooooooooooooooooo

speaking of birds...

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

Worth the read. Thanks.

I currently have a couple of parrots and I don't clean the bottom of the cage much. The birds don't ever touch it anyway.

And what species did you have? 10 years is a very short life for most birds above the size of a finch. Feeding a seed-only diet also helps reduce lifespan.

I bet Happy Bird is delicious.

I honestly don't know...one of the cheap common ones. Pretty blue with random white bird foliage around his head and chest?

It was fed pretty much just bird seed. This was probably 15+ years ago when he died. Google wasn't really a thing during his lifetime so I honestly didn't even think to look up what I should have fed him.

And he never went to the bottom of the cage, either. So maybe I shouldn't feel so bad about that

Dog says thank you

Thanks user. Honestley i always try and be that positive person people lean on. The second i need hekp though everyone eats a bullet or has a seemingly worse time. I've heard "it gets better" enough to believe it but i'm so fuckibg tired i dont even care anymore.

Tried to hump my wife this morning.

Her response was to scoff, say "no" and push me away. I am a fat and on a diet.

Fuckit. 3 big chugs out of a 1.75 liter cheap vodka bottle and 4 beers for breakfast.

I honestly hate to be a needy fag and give up but shit man...

Cant give up on the wife because of my past discretions. Cant give up on life because friends of decades actually need me now.

Cant drink breakfast everydsy because i have a job...

Guess i will divote my life to lifting up the friends that hekped me in my time of need.

The way i see it mine is over and its a cointoss if i go to hell. May as well cut back, shoot for living till 60, and making my friends happy untill i hopefully stress myself ibto a heart attack or liver failure...

Good luck out there anons. Live a good life and be good to your fellow man. That is my one regret. Im 30 and want to die...

Keep that "the world is my oyster" spirit and use it to convince your fellow anons into the same mindset.

Anxiety and depression is a long and lonley road with only 1 shitty ending...

thanks, cheeky bird

I don't know if you can truly make your friends happy, if you yourself are not happy.

youtube.com/watch?v=5q57jYT05tk

Maybe listen to this? worth a try at least, right? It helped me out a lot. Hope it does the same for you.

Old ass yellow lab chekd...

My old ass yello lab is under the recliner. Pic related is all i have on me. U cant have kids and have fsvorites. But fuck my fag heeler... my lab is my nigga!!!

My cockatiel like to fuck my wife's feet

Thanks user. Honestly not even looking for feels. I used to be the asshole. "If he/she is suicidal give em a gun! They will or they won't..." fuck what an asshole dick i was...

The fact that you realize that, probably means you're on the right track. In my professional opinion, you'll be fine.

Clean their cage once a week you degenerate

He's not old though, he's only five. He just looks pathetic when I have the phone up. Pic related.

This is legit making me smile. For some dumb ass reason, animated stick figure arms on a conure (I think. I've been out of touch with the bird world since my Senegal died in 2008) is the most amusing thing I've seen in awhile.

LOL. My lab/boxer mutt's twin brother. He is 7 and i hope to fuck he makes it longer than me. Hands down the best mutt u can own...

you too happy bird

I had a German shep. That was the same way. Impossible to take a picture where he didn't look like he belonged on an aspca commercial. Fucking rediculous

Sleep tight agapornis!

I fucking love parrots and such

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>not naming it Doggo space program.webm