Greentext ylyl

Please be bait

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Why did you block the image you fag?

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wtf acid doesn't make you lose control

I didn't it was saved like that.

>tits or gtfo
>amidoingitright.gif

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this one fucking got me

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not greentext but yolo

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Time for school kiddo

34. There is porn of it. No exceptions.

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Saved the wrong image friendo.

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sorry, my bad

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I LOL'd out loud

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Holy shit you are now god

We were so innocent back then...

Nigger. That text does not appear to be green.

>ylyl

I'm just trying to keep this thread alive, mang. gimme a brak

You laugh you lose

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bit late to the party there, boyo

why are you just saying ">ylyl"? Is this bait? If not then you are pretty autistic... It means you laugh you lose.

>you laugh you lose
>posts you boner you lose

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>ylyl

Forgot to mention that all of that is coming from a blonde haired rich boy who is obsessed with traps to the point where he constantly blows off said hot girl in order to look at traps.

He even has magazines with traps in them.

Freddy must be a frequent user of Cred Forums

>censoring image

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FUCK MAN. I lost!

Yeah, no.

If you're going to write fictional acid stories it'd help if you've actually tried acid. Or at least consult someone who has.

summer's over, faggot, you can fuck off now

My fucking sides, lost

u da real mvp

Fuck I hope that's true.

person told us we should greentext ylyl. so we did?
>ylyl

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Newfag

My sides are exploring Mars.

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Only a fool

youtube.com/watch?v=Cjd__U9RhkI

HEALTH AT EVERY SIZE, MUH BODY MUH CHOICE, STOP FAT SHAMING

My god I hope this real. Pure gold

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Fucking retard
OP says green text ylyl so people fucking greentexted ylyl you dense faggot

Break is given

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what does it say?

Similar story
>buy a half gallon of Darigold old fashioned chocolate milk last august
>that shit's fucking delicious
>get home, it's hot af like 97 degrees outside
>decide to have a glass of milk while I play vidya
>drink the glass, decide to have more
>even more
>eventually end up just chugging the entire half gallon
>so fucking good
>but it's hot out
>and that milk was thick
>get off my computer, go to lie down
>hear my stomach rumbling
>no big deal
>suddenly I feel something moving
>what happens next is hard to describe
>it felt like my intestines had turned into a lava vent, and the molten Diarrhea was making it's way to the peak of my ass
>I instantly rushed for the toilet, all the way groaning in the immense cramping and burning pain
>I sat on the toilet
>didn't even have to push, it just started falling out
>it burned too
>it was watery, yet thick and lumpy
>after a few minutes of just emptying out i figured I was done
>stand up, immediate pain
>literally layed on the floor groaning for a good 5-10 minutes before getting back up on the toilet
>decide enough is enough
>push with all my force
>liquid molten shit is jettisoned out of my ass at light speed
>hear plopping in the toilet water
>eventually I empty out
>hesitate to even attempt to wipe my ass
>stand up, flush toilet
>it won't flush
>have to plunge it
>goodnightsweetprince.jpg
>throw the plunger away in the outside garbage
>never drink milk again

legendary

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Fuckin lost man, my sides just passed Pluto

A magazine with traps featuring a "chick" on the front page

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ayy satan you always make me ruff

Lost

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This could make a decent anime plot. Far from funny but I absolutely love the story

youtube.com/watch?v=vbNuAFam_gA

Not gonna read all that fam

I don't blame you, but it's totally worth it if you do decide to.

this is great, but only if you read it for later.

>playing DnD
>make my backstory the biggest fuckup in the history of the world
>backstory states that because I fuck up SO badly everything appears fine, and I always win battles unscathed due to my gigantic fuckups
>start out on a basic quest, eventually come up to a large door with a huge puzzle lock
>I go to solve it
>DM stops my roll
>"I have special plans for you"
>"oh yeah?"
>"yes. For you, the biggest fuckup in the world, the Die is reversed" (I.E if I roll 20, it's bad, if I roll 1, it's good)
>accept the terms
>roll the dice
>roll a 3
>"You approach the large, complicated puzzle lock and attempt to open it. As you reach towards the first lever you accidentally trip, catching yourself on two of the levers. Stumbling under your feet, your bang your head on a secret button, opening the door"
>we get in the door to discover a boss
>all of our characters are super low level and not equipped to fight, the DM is trying to punish us for our stupid character backstories
>ask to roll for a miracle
>DM allows it
>roll a 20
>mfw
>"You attempt to approach, awaking the beast. The monster instantly crushes one of your allies, almost completely killing him before he can even react"
>"I want to roll again"
>party agrees to let me
>roll again
>roll 1
>DM groans
>"you shit yourself in fear. drawing the beast's attention. The monster begins to approach you, but slips on your friend's blood and impales itself on a stalactite, killing it instantly"
>"do I have to buy new pants from town?"
>"yes"

>.tapestry
man fucking shit fuck ass piss, this is some next level shit

double lost

never not repost

Is there more?

>be me
>be walking around with best friend at night under the full moon
>decide it would be a great idea to walk through the woods to the army reserves near our neighborhood
>we are still in the woods when we get to the fence line
>walk the length of the fence amongst the pine trees so as not to be seen by the floodlights in the parking lot.
>we then notice about three soldiers having a smoke outside one of the humvees
>a wide, shit-eating grin spreads on friend's face
>asshole gets to his feet and shouts "FUCK THE INFIDELS! PRAISE ALLAH!"
>turns out that the soldiers are armed with handguns
>they draw their weapons and start shouting shit
>fuckwad grabs me and we both run
>by the time we get out of the woods, the barracks are on full alert
>we hear troops shouting commands and vehicles starting up
>we continue running in the moonlight to dickhead's house
>I end up spending the night there
>mfw we praised Allah in the face of non-believers

youtube.com/watch?v=ZQoJvI8XUa0

Lost

Damn that's clever

actually dying of laughter

A lot more.
>Later on our quest we are all leveled up
>still have what my friends call "the negative roll curse"
>eventually come to confront a large undead army of skeletons
>"the army is at least 10,000 strong, filled with the legions of the undead"
>Paladin Trorst (my friend Ian) speaks out
>"I'll unsheath my sword and burn them all with god's holy light
>DM is being pissy again about how an infernal descendant can be a Paladin
>"they cannot be burned so easily, they are protected by the dead god Enimortis"
>Greg, our Rogue, rolls to sneak past and assassinate the dead god
>"you can't assassinate a god, but I'll let you roll"
>he rolls a 10
>"you sneak past the front line, but the honor guard catches wind of you and goes to attack"
>"roll for invisibility"
>rolls a 20 on the 100 die
>"it fails, and you are caught"
>my turn
>"I'll roll for a miracle"
>fucking DM looks like he's about to smash my head into the table

Every time I "roll for a miracle" it's basically an instant win, but I only get one in every quest

>"alright, but this is your last miracle. Of the game. Ever"
>roll the dice
>fucking. one.
>DM grinds his teeth to dust
>all the while i'm wondering what he's going to make happen
>"okay, so this is what happened: the skeletons start to advance on your group. They string Vorne (Greg's rogue) to a boulder and prepare to launch him out of their catapult"
>"right before they launch the catapult, you go to draw your sword. Your hands are slippery from all the rain and the sword flies out of your hand as you draw it. It flies right towards the ropes binding Greg, freeing him from his bonds. It flies through the horde of skeletons right into their commander's head, killing him instantly and severing their connection with the dead god"
>Ian rolls to burn the horde with his holy sword
>15
>"your holy flames do not kill the horde, but severely weakens them"
>all skeletons now have 50 HP
>"I'll roll for another miracle"
>"no"
>I later died

Little bit less climactic story:
>Party is traveling through the wooded area outside of town
>still fairly low level, this is after I bought myself some new pants and also new equipment
>"you encounter a man who appears to be in a great deal of pain"
>Trorst approaches him
>"his flesh burns as you approach, your holy sword seers his unholy skin"
>"what's wrong with him?"
>"I'll find out"
>I approach the man
>"I'd like to use intellect to inspect him further"
>roll an 80 on the 100 die
>"upon closer inspection you find he has a large bite wound and multiple claw marks all over his body"
>"can we just kill him?"
>trorst won't allow it, against his code of killing innocents
>"suddenly the man erupts into a rage, his skin tears open revealing his transformation!"
>Suddenly greg screams "HE'S TRANSFORMING INTO A WOMEN! IT'S BRUCE JENNER!"
>whole party starts to laugh
>DM is annoyed
>"no, he is not. He's still transforming, what do you do?"
>"Can I bribe it to go away?"
>"bribe it with what?"
>"gold medals"
>Roll
>get 4
>"you throw gold medals at the creature and it runs away in fear before you can even fucking fight it. You get no experience"
>mfw

off by 1

Your DM sounds shit

He was. fucking hated that guy, no fun at all.

we got this new DM named Annette who's super chill.

That really does sound like some anime's plot.
I would love to know where that happened though.

do you still remember the name of that game just curious

I'd play with you user, no one in my town plays DnD

ffs post the green text of virgin dipping his balls in water to masturbate fgts

This

don't get it

newfag spotted

Completely rational. Fuck hornets man, shit can easily kill you even if you aren't allergic.
He should have gone to the hospital and kick the shit out of that guy again for being so retarded

wat

and now i go to youtube to relive my childhood

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What the fuck man. How do people let themselves get like that?

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Lost like MH370

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Moar pls

>also someone screencap for future keks.

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read several times. do not regret, give it a try.

Lel

Isn't this a ylyl thread?

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This never happened

it took me a few seconds but then I lost real hard

>Feedmelols

Fucking kill yourself newfag

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more plz

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harambes reincarnation is coming to get revenge dicks out plz

so fucking long and I still am glad I've read it.

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fuck forgot the file

This was screebncapped and posted to /r/Cred Forums and then to feedmelols. would you really prefer i go get the reddit screenshot

lmao

i know this is an ylyl but this is too gud

>browsing /r/Cred Forums

Jesus christ your newfaggotry knows no bounds.

Fuck off back to your subreddit

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>implying thre bulk of these arent taken from outside sources

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Damn. I'd pay to see that.

Well, I mean, there must be a screenshot from Cred Forums, right?

>boner brew

i'm gonna use that one

You're the samefag of the greentext, right?

cheesespin.net/
garanteed

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sides/10

>saw a spirit in the middle of the night
>feel sick for days
>go to doctor, im pregnant
>this can't be, it was the spirit
>next day no pregnant no more
>nice morning
>theres a girl by my side
>who are you? i ask
>im your wife silly
>she kisses me
>and your daughter

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keeping it alive with spooky shit

i ran out

We spooky now

trying to find the one where the goat man drags someone to the river and the story ends with yay army

Love this story never gets old

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One of my personal favs

sides gone

I would cap this if I had the fucking basic abilities in computers.
I don't but I appreciate.

SSIDMUTKA 33020284 THE KING COME DOWN

Summer doesn't end until the 22nd you uncultured swine

You're welcome user

Anybody have Zarabro greentext?

>playing dnd for first time
>friend (dm) is really into it but me and the other friend he invited never been much into this sorta stuff
>whatever lets give ut a try
>dm has everything planned out and is pumped to play
>make my guy
>name is xontaar the assblaster
>an elf or something who finds great enjoyment in buttraping corpses
>friend likes it and makes something similar
>dm is a little annoyed
>we find outselves near a cave with some goblins
>dm says theyre hostile and are going to attack us soon
>we kill the two goblins near us
>dm explains how looting works
>interrupt him
>roll for anal tightness
>what?
>roll, the dice will determine the radius of asshole in milimetres
>roll a 9
>too loose. How about the other one?
>roll a 3
>perfect
>begin buttraping the goblin while yelling praise to the high elf king
>dm is getting angry
>friend and i are laughing as we desecrate every corpse we come across
>by the end of the game i have raped something like 15 corpses and totally derailed his campaign so i can find the tightest goblin ass
>wearing nothing but a leather glove as a codpiece and a skinned goblin scalp as a helmet.
>i am xontaar, the assblaster
>dm gets so pissed he kicks me out
>havent played since

i get it

You guys want spooky or funny?
Got a bunch of both.

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i like this one

i dont get it

he always waited for the rain

old stuff incoming

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8/10

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These contain many greentext stories. Enjoy.
youtu.be/MjUgoJRJNTU?list=PLAXvKJGVDvvWe9CgFE4IK0HOJXzcmN-lf
youtu.be/9n-UPJ6-Tj0?list=PLAXvKJGVDvvWe9CgFE4IK0HOJXzcmN-lf
youtu.be/5C4hXXuaE9I?list=PLAXvKJGVDvvWe9CgFE4IK0HOJXzcmN-lf

Fucking LOST. to some beta cringe shit, i guess it's because I have a lazy eye too

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kek at skinnchangers.

But why when i can read them the normal way

Old but gold sir.

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my fav

Lol I'm on mobile

Have fun possessing a tiny black box

worth the wait

ohh, thank you. I shall sperad it then

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i am glad i read all these stories instead of writing my paper

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I PRESSED SAVE AND MY PHONE TURNED OFF

its a big pic

neither spooky not funny. poor attempt, too deliberate and missing the obvious parts of psychology

What the absolute fuck sir

fucking lost

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