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>be taking a shower
>wash ass with shower head
>little spray of hot water shoots up my hole
>feelsgoodman
>do it some more
>couple of wet farty bubbles squeak out
>get hard
>push shower head up my ass and spray boiling water on prostate
>balls starting to twitch
>suddenly I'm ejaculating semen and diarrhea
>boiling diarrhea shooting from my mouth and nose
>bathroom flooded with septic half-digested food and semen
>sister comes in, starts writhing on the floor massaging stinking semen mix into her vagina
>don't you ever knock?
>she starts giving birth to puppies
>every puppy has my face

Just talk to her more often, then meet her in your spare time.

>be 15 years old
>on school trip to a fucking zoo
>animals and so forth
>go in elephant house
>oh god it smells so fucking bad
>stench of elephant shit is burning the back of my throat
>feel something grab my waist
>elephant picks me up with its trunk
>srsly wtf
>forces me up another elephant's vagina
>for no good reason I get naked
>walking round inside elephant's womb
>holy shit my sister is in here too
>suddenly everything starts shaking
>look out of hole in cervix, see huge elephant penis thrusting in and out
>we both reach down elephant pee hole and massage it from inside
>feelsgoodman
>it's throbbing and pulsing
>hot steaming semen starts to erupt over our arms, flooding our womb prison
>I punch my sister in the tits for a laugh
>she is so turned on
>massaging elephant cum into each other while I punch her tits and kick her in the cunt
>we're still in there
>zookeepers push sandwiches up elephant's cunt for us
>we have wireless internet in here

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>be me 14
>just finished school
>suddenly need to fap
>get naked
>photoshop sister's face into 100 boy CP pics
>print them all out
>arrange them all on the floor
>prop up a mirror so I could watch myself
>keep fapping and edging it for about thirty minutes
>moaning YOOU NASTY LITTLE WHORE GIVE ME YOUR HAIRLESS DICK I WANT TO BITE IT OFF
>ejaculate boiling hot jizz all over the pics
>collapse panting and sweating
>nearly black out from the joyful orgasm
>look up
>realize I'm in McDonalds

>have nudes of girl cousin
>over at her place
>everyones going to sleep
>hang with boy cousin(her brother) for a bit while she showers
>get idea
>show him face pic of some other chick i knew
>proceed to show him carefully chosen nudes of his sister
>he really likes them
>only show him like 5
>he goes to bed
>find new nudes waiting for me on sc

Nah, she isn't. Cut all contact with her right now

Lost

Go on

>same weirdo, name's logan
>it's my best friend birthday
>logan his coworkers gets a whore for him
>he fucks whore, he comes to my place to smoke and tell me about it
>we have laughs
>a month later i see logan
>user birthday was cool huh? that whore sure could fuck.
>lol, how expensive was she?
>nothing, my gf did what i wanted, im a great manipulator

Huh. Same exact thing happened to me last month. Weird.

>imgur.com/a/JL20W/all

Okay here we go
>Be me
>Be 23
>One day I'm at this store just hanging around
>Girl walks up and we talk a little and she ends up taking me home with her
>This girl becomes my everything
>We fuck every day, sometimes twice
>Thisbitchisgreat.jpg
>This goes on for a while
>We don't talk much anymore, but everyday she still comes home and fucks me
>I feel like her toy now
>Whenever we do it she pushes me up against the wall and watches porn
>I never even cum because we do it so much
>I don't know what to do anymore
>Mfw I'm a dildo

Oh also, she asked me if I wanted to see her bf, then showed me a pic of some buff celeb on her phone and laughed. Why did she do this?

>be me 23
>usely I get trips and dubs when checking em
>today
>about 10 minuts ago
>I get quints
>OH SHIT.pne
>realized I wasted my life getting repeating digits

>16 at the time
>madly in love with a girl in my class
>way, way out of my league
>amazing rack, big eyes and a really cute smile
>I usually sit right behind her
>her and her other hot friend like to tease me from time to time, because I get nervous as fuck
>months of this go by
>me sort of ignoring them, them probing for a reaction
>I had funny hair, a lock in the back was always sort of pointing up, could never get it to go down, like an awkward head boner
>girl asks me if she can put a hair clip in there to pin the thing down
>I say "h..hokay"
>she turns around, sits on her chair on her knees, puts one hand on my desk, the other is going through my hair
>"it's so thick, I wish I had hair like that"
>all the while I'm staring straight into her cleavage, which she practically pushes in my face
>she leans on my shoulder and puts the clip in
>then sits back down and gives me a super cheeky smile
>the next day I complement her on her shirt
>she actually blushes a bit and says thanks
>do this a couple more times over the next few weeks
>one day her friend is sick, so she's alone
>math class
>she asks if she can sit next to me so we can do the exercises together
>she's having trouble, so I explain how to do some stuff to her
>she says, "you're so smart!" and pinches my knee
>stare at my books the rest of the class
>a week later, her friend is back
>her friend turns around, and says to me "you know, she thinks you're really cute..."
>in total shock at this point, super happy inside
>what comes out of my mouth is "yeah, okay"
>it sounded super sarcastic
>her friend and her look at each other, both kind have kind of a disappointed look on their face
>she asks if she can go to the bathroom and when she's walking out I notice a tear on her face
>literally never spoke to her again after that

you mean

Damn you're sad

Fag.

11/10 user nice album

>Live in europe
>start master's program
>meet lots of people from other countries
>offer some of them some help with applying for particular funds (bureaucracy is tough for them to deal with because they don't speak the language, but I do)
>start hanging out with one particular dude quite a lot
>generally good bro
>he says one of his flatmates needs help with applying for funds
>she adds me on facebook
>smoking hot
>I'm supposed to go over there at 6
>figure, well I'd better have dinner before else I'm gonna be hungry
>eat
>go over to my buddies place
>my buddy's not there
>she's there alone
>super nice though, keeps thanking me for wanting to help her out
>she has prepared a three course meal
>wat
>I tell her I've already eaten
>"oh that's too bad"
>she looks sad
>"well do you want to just taste some?"
>I tell her nah I'm good let's get this paperwork done
>She keeps asking lots of questions about random stuff like what my hobbies are etc
>the layer of autism covering my brain is so immensely thick that it simply does not get through to me that I've been set up on a date with a beautiful girl, and this girl was at least initially not repelled by my appearance
>after chatting for like an hour and having drunk some wine we get to her room, where her desk and the paperwork is
>I notice more and more how pretty she is
>spaghetti rumbling with fresh mama's bolognese
>I really don't understand what's taking her so long to show me where the forms are
>she sits down on her bed rather than at her desk
>I see the paperwork on her desk, sit down, and start explaining what everything means
>I'm so nervous at this point I can't seem to control my voice
>I'm talking loudly and my voice breaks a few times
>she's pretty much given up at this point
>we do the paperwork and I leave
>two days later I look on her facebook page I see a link to her blog for expats, complaining how clueless guys in my country are

>be me
>wit gf
>on couch
>fuckng arond
>star kissing her
>phone ring
>"get of muh daughter"
>hengs up
>"y ur dad call me"
>"my dad ded"
>USSR special forces shatter my windows
>Kidnap me and kill gf for possession of cellphone
>"Хорошо"

forgot pic rip

She wanted to see how you react.. Chicks do weird shit when they want your dick

Tell her you like her and see where it goes from there.
Usually when I make it clear to a girl that i like her while we're texting, the messages are full on sexual within the hour

if dad ded, than who was phone?

This

How did you react?

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Played it cool, laughed, "in your dreams" etc.

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