What's on your mind, Cred Forums?

Copypasta

Ty

She also asked if I wanted to see her boyfriend, and showed me a pic of some fucking buff celebrity. I laughed, "in your dreams", and we joked around. Did she just want to see my reaction?

Yep, I'm the same motherfucker from earlier, want more advice

...

I'll never get over my ex girlfriend from 3 years ago. Which is kind of okay in a way, because the break up motivated me to get off my ass and get through college, start a career, work out, and just grow up in general. I have money, an amazing job, and great friends and she is the reason but she'll never know it.

I'm always afraid that one day I'll move on and lose that motivation to better myself for her. Not the worst problem in the world, I guess.

Yes. And she is being absolutely infantile about it. Treat her like the child she is

Nopes but you are a beta cuck for not doing it for yourself

What's your first name?

Yep, and I am the same person who lurked earlier, nice to meet you again! :3

I feel no motivation to do anything anymore, but I don't want to kill myself.

>lose that motivation to better myself for her
try living? like, enjoying life? hobby etc. stop spending your energy on bettering for her and start finding something you can love. may it be a new girl or a hobby.

I dream of a life I can never have, and of a girl who doesn't exist. I'm not the person who I am in my dreams. I feel lost in this world because I want to be someone I'm not so I spend all day distracting myself with mobage. What do I do?

my names jeff

I can haz adderall

>stale meme
You deserve to be single cunt

linear logic is linear
circular logic is circular
is psychological logic psychological ?

Dated a girl for 2 years when i was 15, broke up at 17. We have mutual friends so we see/hear about each other quite frequently. She claims to hate me and doesn't want to be anywhere near me.

I'm 22 now, had other girlfriends but still can't get over my first love.

The happiest time of my life was spending the entire summer holidays of school with her in our local park. I remember laying in the sun, a cool breeze darting across my face and gently caressing my hair. I look to my left and she's there with me smiling right back at me. I will never forget her hazel eyes.

Fuck, I love blowing at my screen and pretending I blew out that candle. Thanks for that gif, you lovely faggot.

I've just been gifted an iphone.
So obviously I've now had to sign up to itunes.
All while the gift-er looked on I may add.
I've never felt so violated in my entire life.

Pluck her eyes out and store them in a jar. So you can always look into them.

how to stop thinking about shitty past

>tail still wagging
Rip little trooper

Wooh, im sorry for you bro, can't you try to talk to her, maybe things would be better if she atleast didn't hate you?

Emigrate. Get out of the comfort zone.

Be glad. You might have been motivated to kill yourself.
Think about your shifty future and your inevitable and unstoppable death.

I've been noticing Schizophrenic traits in myself, what do?
>inb4 go see a Dr. and get some meds that will kill you

>everyone is out of town for the weekend
>have mdma and viagra stashed away
>ultimate fap weekend is a go
>pills kicking in, things are feeling good
>want to grind my dick on something soft, wander into sisters closet
>she a huge raver so costumes and fun fur is everywhere
>start rubbing cock on a fluffy legwarmer
>something inside me snaps, and i see a pair of her nylons
>start putting them on, holy christ it feels good
>pills hitting hard now, eyes are rolling
>put on panties, then pair of big fur boots, dick rock hard
>grab a corset and start squeezing myself in, every time i pull the strings to make it tighter i feel like cumming
>put on a fun fur jacket over it, then a poofy tutu
>oh god we arent done yet, she has wigs
>big sparkling pink wig goes on, i start playing with makeup and cake it on my face
>dick is dripping through the panties, im swishing around in her raver costume now and dancing
>she has a big fur hood, thats what i need to complete everything
>oh ho, whats this, a pair of handcuffs under everything, sis is into bondage
>without thinking i snap them on my wrists behind my back and start bouncing around, the drugs practically have me cuming as i feel the furry outfit squishing all around me
>trip and fall down, core strength is weak and the corset is tight, can barely move
>try to get up, its not happening
>fun fur and wig blinding me, cant shake them off
>terror strikes me just as the drugs start peaking
>oh fuck it, start grinding against one of the legwarmers on the ground
>within a minute i have a mind shattering orgasm and scream like im being sent to auschwitz
>sudden commotion downstairs
>"ARE YOU ALRIGHT"
>oh shit
>someones home
>im high as fuck
>im in a fur raver costume
>feet coming up the stairs
>rolling frantically off legwarmer, huge cumstain leaking out from panties onto floor
>door opens

I was dating a guy for almost 9 months. A week before we broke up, I kissed a guy who's a friend to both of us, I'll call him Jeff. I was really torn up about that and that just added to stress the relationship was already giving me. I broke up with him a little over a week ago. On the same day Jeff and I made out. The next day, I lost my virginity to Jeff. I cried over my break up, yes, but only for two days. Now I feel like I should just whore around. Idk if this makes me a bad person. But I just think I'm not ready for a solid relationship now. I don't know how to feel about myself honestly

Don't wait for the doctor or waste money on meds. Kill yourself.

>Think about your shifty future and your inevitable and unstoppable death.
thanks user, i will now go and kill myself by jumping of my chair and trying to land directly on my neck. wish me luck

go see a Dr. and get some meds that will not kill you

WE WON!!!!!!

Top lel. You should do it. The more sluts the better

>mdma and viagra
thats genius but won't that combination kill you?

Keep being a whore. Don't tell anyone

I can't stop drinking.

Try to sing the national anthem in soprano as you fall, and get it all on cam. Peace, brother.

That's all you took away from my story?
I've just signed up to itunes and all you're concerned about is the damn dead dogs tail!

suicide

I wanna but the problem is I'm being a whore with my friends. And my ex and I share the same friends. I don't really want him to think less of me.

Yea, I am kill as we speak.

she is

dont haunt me pls

similar situation, should i ask her out?

Good luck user, fall with style.

Triangles are still the best. Fucking A.

how much I want to talk to her.

Why, I'm a friendly ghost?

Boo!

Oh fuck you. At least you didn't sign up to deviantArt like I did and find out that a girl who was crushing hard on me was a furry.
Blackmail those friends to keep it a secret.

Girlfriend has alcohol problem. I give her ultimatum. She goes into treatment Friday.

An hr before she goes to treatment I find out she's been cheating on me a lot.

She's my ex-gf now. I got fucking cucked, Cred Forums.

She was a single mom, in massive debt, depression/anxiety, ALL the fucking red flags in the world. I ignored it.

Worst part is, I'm not super beta. I'm no alpha, but I'd consider myself out of her league. I have no debt, a college degree, no children, etc.

Now I'm at my dad's, moved my desktop and some clothes here and have to plan how to start a new life/get out of a lease/cope with the end of a 4 year relationship.

could be worse, but holy fuck man.

How much i do talk to her and how little I get in return

You will be tagged as a slut. Fuck people outside your circle

Get out while you still can.

but I want her on a level I've not wanted anyone before

What the actual fuck? The one time I get trips and nobody checks it? Fuck you all.

Then take her. If you can't, move on, don't linger.

I'm thinking about how I would improve Cred Forums if I had the money to buy it

It would be glorious

Out of all the the posts I identify with yours. Never been through it but
I also sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

No it wouldn't.

I'm far away from being the perfect human i want to be, the reason therefore is the poison like the rich food and this imageboard.

I'm trying. Both of those things. I'm stuck somewhere in between and can't really go anywhere. I'm going to try one last time to get her but I'm not 100% confident it's going to work.

life of loneliness ahead

Checked faggot.

Hey Apache, is the tailside rotor going in your arse? If so, shit would really hit the fan.

fuck man me too, minus the itunes part

i hate apple and smartphones in general, but couldn't deny a gift

>How would you fix it ?? I'd make it so that you'd have had to lurk more than 5 years before you could. Post and if you white knight you immediately get banned and circumcised

Why would it be "her or nobody else"? You sound 17. Are you 17?
Checked those dubs too, you beautiful faggot.

>The fan.
>Shit will hit it.
kekekekekekekekek

This cute girl I know from work, she's a civil engineer and my client.. I slowly became her friend and we pretty much spent hours everyday texting.. Talking about life.. Her previous relationships.. Etc. I can't stop thinking about her even though she doesn't have any interest in me being anything more than a friend because I have a girlfriend and 2 kids.

I'm young, I'll give you that. she just has the majority of the characteristics I am looking for in a woman.

>inb4 puss is puss

I want something more than that

violence and rape are viable repsonses

>>inb4 puss is puss
That's another extreme. You gave your youth away by veering to extremes. There will always be someone else- unless you become jaded. Don't become jaded and you're set for life.

that wasn't you, chad, fuck off

Gang rape keeps 9/10 people happy.

I like that statistic

This guy has the right of it. Kidnap her and put her in a sex dungeon.

so i can't have a good looking woman or one with a good personality?

This is the first time I'm seeing disputed trips. Why makes you say that those weren't mine?

Don't waste your time. Although I can already see what sort of beta you are

Hahahaha
Nor can I....

I doubt she's the only good looking woman with a good personality on this planet, but whatever. I can see that you're a lost cause. Go make your mistakes and look back with shame at your past when you're 25.

haha not even the faggot psychiatric kys

I'm being an insatiable faggot?

>....
Away with you.

Too close to home. 26 now ;(

no u

And why would I want to satisfy you? You come home drunk, you party all night with your friends and you never take me anywhere nice. When was the last time you even told me you love me?

After drinking every day for the last 4 years I've been sober for a bit over 4 months.
I'm wondering when do I get better? Sure I may be a bit healthier and I'm not puking blood but I don't feel better. I still crave it and wish I was drunk every second and weed only helps so much.

Today, I was lifting an old carpet, as we have a damp problem. Underneath there were hundreds of slugs and worms. My wife and I picked up about 40 slugs and put them in a pair of my wife's panties. I then put the panties on. The feeling was amazing. I got a huge erection and I could feel them sliding over my glans, and round my balls. Eventually I could feel one going up my bum. I knew I would come soon, so I let my wife tie me up, with my hands and feet speadeagled and attached to some furniture. She then took the panties down and about 15 of the slugs were crawling over my cock and balls. I came, spurting out loads of cum all over the poor things, but still couldn't move. My wife then took the other slugs out of the panties and placed them on my cock. She was careful to put some of them right on the opening of my cock, which was now covered in a mixture of sperm and glistening goo from the slugs. She opened up my arse and tried to put one in there too. I got hard again quite quickly as I thought of these slimy little things crawling over me. I imagined them biting me. One seemed to be trying to enter my uretha and this caused me to come again. That was 4 hurs ago. My cock is now very itchy, but I am about to give them another "feed".

Find something healthy to replace that craving with. Accept your weakness instead of fighting it.

How much exactly were you drinking daily?

I know she's not but she's the only one I've found to date. I dont want to start when I'm too old. 24 is my cut off age. If it doesn't happen by then, i'm done

i hate this family

Well done mate!
I'm drunk as a skunk as we speak but I don't feel any better for it. Focus on that.

40 yo virgin detected.

I've always wondered what would happen if I cummed on a slug since I found out that they're hermaphrodite. Would I create the first monster musume?

actually; 19

and now we wait...

Think of the kids, Jonathan! Think of our kids!

you're not a bad person for not being ready to commit but still sleeping around is not really worth thr hassle imo. maybe take some time to be with yourself first

Yes don't do it.
My wife hates Steve.
He's locked in our basement.
We feed him fish heads from a bucket.

I want to die, but I can't because people need me. So much is expected of me, and I feel like every second of my life I'm letting soneone down.

wait for what? for me to turn 40? very funny. I'll kill myself long before then

You streaming?

i had an interview this week to get into some dandy charity association thing that would have been super cool but i think i kinda messed up so i am sad

Sucks to be you. I won't make a Steve, I'll make a Susan.
Give them the ultimate disappointment- fail at suicide. Won't that be a riot?
Save time, do it now.

Flawless logic.

How did you mess up? And don't say you forgot to wear a tophat.

>Be Slash
>Have interview.
>Forgot to wear tophat.

I have business to attend to before hand. If I still have internet when I do it I will stream it for you guys :^D

dun goofed

oh shit now that you mention i deifinitely forgot the tophat
and i didn't really completely fuck up but there were like 3 different stages and the interview was at the end and there were actually 2 of them so i got really nervous. i am also bad at public speaking and they could see right through me and they haven't called yet

Nobody cares once you KYS.
What business?

I signed up to itunes tonight.

I've got to make sure my family will get the right amount of life insurance money, my brother won't kill himself, I kill a few politicians before I go, etc... not much. just little things. won't take long

Fuck off. Everyone knows that the top hat IS Slash. The guy under it is just a holder for him.

Who you killing?

Proof enough that you will live a long, unsatisfactory and unremarkable life.

Paradox
Was it even slash?

shit man that sucks

We got that the first time. Don't keep wearing it like a badge of honour you whore.

I'm pretty upset.....

how so?

Idk yet. we'll see closer to the elections. that's my deadline

Go sign up for a Google plus account. Revel in your filth you slut.

Oh yea, talk dirty to me.

>how so?
You have too many plans for someone planning to die, and you haven't given any of them real thought. Basically, you're full of shit and should fuck off.

Witness my digits faggots

I should probably report this shit but TBH I'll allow it.

My man

>too many plans

I have maybe 3 plans... that's not a lot. all but 1 are in the works

...

How would you feel on election day if Hillary or trump are dead?