Just battled one of these in my bedroom

Just battled one of these in my bedroom.
Lived to tell the tale.
Ask me anything.

>pic similar

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megarhyssa_macrurus
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

The fuck is it? A lobotomy bug?

Wtf is it and how did you kill it ?

Sharpie in pooper

It's some kind of giant wasp to my understanding.
I sprayed it with febreeze to neutralize its flappers and proceeded to attack it with a barrage of right hand punches.

What kind of fool fights an insect barehanded?

My cat stood by for backup and is currently playing with the mostly dead wasp

You are lucky it didn't sting you 100x while you punched it with your bare fist

you are crazy

I embellished a tad.....

I tore up a nearby pizza box and proceeded swing with the greatest vigor I could muster up in my moment of heroism

One with nothing to lose

You're lucky mate, I lost a fight to one of those a couple of days ago and it succeeded in planting its eggs in my thyroid.

Its starting to itch more and more every day. I think I'm doomed. Please send help.

Did you at least sneeze on your knuckles first to deal 5 points extra poison damage?

OP here. Setting the story straight a little.

I did not go in bare handed
>deathwish.exe failed to launch

Sprayed copious aerosol and attacked with cardboard.

That fucked put up a hell of a fight

Ye

UPDATE

ITS STILL ALIVE WTF IS THIS HELLBEAST


SEND HELP

...

U r a fucking idiot. These wasps are harmless and cannot sting.

Use flame thrower

Pics or its not happening

PICTURES

I've assigned my cat to stand guard.
>AwaitingOrders.exe

12/12 cable management

post pics

also, try to trap it with something and then torture it

The creature is amongst the wires below my tv stand.

lol having a cat is like having a sentry gun for bugs

What country you live in OP? Where do these fuckers come from? Never seen one

My father lost his right leg while fighting against one of these.

Insert that sting in the urethra and show pics.

Spec ops agent 9Lives is inspecting the suspect

I mean there's only one option, really
>S P A C E P R O G R A M

The worst part of all was the origin story of this monstrosity.

It was on my shoulder when I got and sat down in my bed.
>flail.exe launch successful

I'm kekking hard here. Thanks

My friend was kill by one of these, fortunately I managed to heroically grab this pic before getting away.

I wouldn't wish these circumstances upon my most hated enemies.

these dubs confirm

UPDATE.
Buzzing has subsided. All seems to be in order.
The suspect has not been located and is presumed dead.

Agent 9lives has retired to her water bowl

>is presumed dead.
not until you find the corpse

post tits

Suspect last spotted in what is to be assumed to be critical condition.
Thorax was severely damaged.
Flappers were reduced to 30% operating efficiency.
Aerosol had Medium impact
Cardboard dealt 12 point damage per blow
>8 blows
>98 damage sustained.
Suspects expected to die

The "stinger" is an ovipositor, it is for laying eggs.
You're basically looking at a giant pussy.
It drills into wood to deposit eggs though. Maybe it was thinking of sticking them in your shoulder.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megarhyssa_macrurus

Shoulder eggs sound worse than a sting, in all actuality.

Fuck agent 9lives, where is Agent Jack Bauer?

nice report, you seem to know what you're doing.
still you should find the body, post some pics, and then burn it in case it has some eggs or shit inside

pic unrelated, consider it a medal for bravery

The question is how didn't it kill OP with that sword

On which port is it listening?

Jack couldn't be reached for this mission. Whereas 9lives is a resident of my estate and was on call for duty.
Received medal of honor for courageous act in the pursuit of freedom and prosperity

insects can be extremely resilient due to no internal bone structure. Besides that, it's completely harmless, and in fact, can't do you anything (that giant thing isn't a stinger, it is a hm...pussy)

Hate to break it to you but 8x12=96.
Enemy may not be yet neutralised.

Did you have to use VATS?

I'll allow it. But was 9lives born in a pool of gasoline, on a piece of rusty scrap metal?

2 points added for potential impact of aerosols utilized in the attack.
Febreeze is known to stun opponents whilst also inflicting a minimal damage factor of 1 point per second direct impact.

9lives is a rescue agent with an unknown origin story.
Acquired 2 years ago by yours truly, and given a pet name.
She waited for circumstances to arise where when would be called upon to protect her estate.
>today was that day, and she prevailed with the highest honor

VATS would serve useless as the suspect showed no points of weakness. Heavily fortified in all aspects of it's composure

But you couldve targeted the wings so it couldn't fly

This

Take into account the stress of the situation. Target acquisition was running at 16% and all attacks were executed to the center of mass so that overall hit points would be maxed

I think it's a wood wasp, totally harmless. they mimic the colours of wasps to make people like you shit themselves and so they don't get eaten

It's like a sentry gun that cleans up after themselves. Bug = extra treat that you don't have to ask mom for

Southern Michigan. Semi-wooded area. Wasps and spiders run rampant. Life is hell.

I love this thread

it is completely harmless
This is a female Giant Ichneumon, Megarhyssa atrata, and she is perfectly harmless. The tail, though it looks like a stinger, is actually an ovipositor. With her long ovipositor, the female Giant Ichneumon drills into diseased wood to lay an egg on the larva of a wood boring insect, the Pigeon Horntail.

KILL IT

Wasp propaganda

what this guy said.
the larvae predate on tree eating beetle larvae.
Some trees even release wasp attracting terpenes when their being attacked by beetles

they're*

How long did the battle last?

and we never knew anything of OP again

Looks like a motherfucking cazador!