Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Please state the nature of the medical emergency
Yeah I took way too much acid.
You should know better than to experiment with neuro-drugs.
Your readings appear fine, apart from some minor dilation of the pupils.
76yo male. cc of a fall. pale and diaphoretic. BP 76/52. P 132. Sp0282% @ 15lpm via NRB. -pedal pulses and unstable pelvis.
Should you even be on this ship?
Help it's fallen and I can't get it back up
I cant pee
My balls hurt when i cross my legs together
I want to vote for Donald Trump.
These are hardly what I'd call, "emergencies." Ensign, the one who can't pee, help lift the crewman who fell.
Spend some time in the Holodeck.
We already have a captain.
But doctor I haven't went peepee in weeks! It hurts! It hurts like the dickens doctor! The dickens!
Take 200 cc's of catazone. Only 200. You should be fine by the end of the day.
nga'chuq je mom ghaj vIneH
I think my rabbits are dead.
I am almost done Voyager, this warms my heart cocks.
Doctor I need your help. Remember how like, a minute ago you said 200? I took a little more than 200...
I'm pretty sure I said, "no pets," Lieutenant.
Glad we could help.
Good GOD man! Now you're urinating all over the place. Well, you're going to have to clean it all up when you're finished. I'll inform your shift manager.
But be honest; I was right when I told you you'd be fine by the end of the day.
I fell in love with an interuniversal second-dimensionesque being from the touhou universe, she communicates via telepathy straight into the human brain.
Is it possible for you to detect this phenomenon and develop a way of communicating back?
The urine shock has left me constipated doctor. What do I do?
Don't do it man, I can tell you a thing or two about alien-STDs.
Well, I guess you won't be "going" anywhere for a while.
I tried to get my balls all soupy but they never do.
I tried to learn Palmer script and now I have amnesia.
I pooped out a key I lost 6 months ago.
I ate too many cigarettes.
I pooped on my eyeballs.
The ocean at evening doesn't have a crisp enough breeze anymore.
Old women just won't stop sleeping with me.
I think I'm a very casual and basic individual but people keep asking to purchase my trash as art.
My dog got divorced.
My doctor changed my last name to 'Nipples'
You cheated on the exam at the Academy, didn't you?
I'm was just physically butt-hurt, but that comment has made it mental as well. My head hurts now doctor.
I'll take it from here. It's apparent that you need intensive care.
Indeed other doctor. I cant even walk property after my bladder exploded.
Cure me doctor it's apparent I been a naughty boy.
Oh, it "exploded?" I'd better call Mr. Paris then. He'd know what to do.
And you. Either stop bothering the doctor and return to your post, or await Mr. Paris.
You...wanted to see me, Seven?
Who are these two crewmen?
I doubt it doctor... Interesting, I think I'm having a heart attack. What do I do doctor?
This is \d\ right?
We're talking on 4clams.com\d\ right now? Either that, \d\ros, or I think we're somehow connected with a spaceship computer
This is the Federation Starship Voyager.
It's all in your head crewman, your readings are just "okay."
My bad lol. We don't judge here
Soon to be my grave as well. What with my constipation, burst bladder and current heart attack.
Societal homogeneity is a requirement for the advancement of a society, to make sure it flourishes.
Niggers and niggers of the sand type seem to act against this, against any sort of working structure that isn't "shoot with guns and commit criminal acts" and women tend to not be particularly loyal to any tribe. They're a weak point for cultural invasion and cultures who have their women chaste tend to have the focus and energy to expand and conquer. In fact, with that energy being present, it takes more focus NOT to than it does otherwise.
Women are to be kept chaste and in check, else they ruin all we work for by inviting "vibrant diversity" into a working system and have it upended by cultures contrast to our own.
Once unleashed, it is so much more work to create a society that contains the social cohesion women present that it is more likely the remnants will be absorbed into other cultures.
Due to women being suddenly "free to fuck" and therefore wandering aimless without a culture or purpose, they are angry and upset but unwilling to be coerced into a chaste status unless subdued forcefully. This is something that more tribal based cultures are more than able and willing to do.
However, there will be those who are otherwise, who flourish in this new found freedom.
My proposal is this: We find a way to separate those who flourish with individuality and create a new society.
Get back to your post...
How did you even get on this ship?
I don't know who you are, but please...
Teleport. They had to upgrade it to work on me cause of my weight.
HOW DID THESE FERENGI GET ON BOARD?
Intruder alert! We've been boarded.
You'll be on controlled rations and mandatory physical training exercises in the Holodeck until your health meets Starfleet standards. Mr. Tuvok will assist you.
He broke his little ships
But I like being fat.
This is the UNSC Infinity. We have a special slipspace drive made by an ancient race called the Forerunners. It can take you from one side of the galaxy to the other in very short period of time. Much faster than your simple warp bubbles.
Prepare to be ass-stimulated. Resistance is feudal.
I fucking love this bread!
Well I don't like you being fat.
No, look around. This is Voyager.
I must advise you, I am trained in Tsunkatse.
Well what's a four foot two man suppose to weigh?
Fat lot of good that'll do you in your regen pod.
I got the herp help me doc
Not 86 kg, that's for sure.
I tried to warn you.
I'm... you answered my hail, though. Is this thing on? This is Captiain Thomas Lasky of the UNSC Infinity.
No, this is Voyager. And you're in the Delta Quadrant, about 50,000 lightyears from Earth.
Damn, puss in a sink? Where can I get some of that?
Look, just, goddamn it. Listen. We are searching for this guy, his rank is Master Chief, designation 117. John? I think that's it. I don't know if he answers to it so maybe don't bother yelling at him in a crowd, though.
There's this chick, right, and we were like "Yeah, take some kids and mod them to be super turbo turkey punchers" so she did and now we're being reeeaaal big dicks about it. So we are trying to find our wayward product of the Spartan project.
Seen a man in a powered exoskeleton around here?
No. I'd suggest you fly in a different direction, preferably not behind us. Watch out for the "Borg."
help i cant make babies
Yeah, that borg of nine is quite insidious.
I HAVE HAD A BONER FOR TEN HOURS
the doctor has abandoned us
Anyone got a usb line and back-up for the doctor?
Doctor it happend again
Did you cross circuit the replicator and transporter again?
For the last time Grunt, the genophage has been cured. You just happen to be impotent
You don't know how lucky you are.
20 borg are about to break through that door
No an Ensign told me to hide it so i hid it in the best place i could think of
I cant poop, doc!
FIX MY DICK
Well we waz goin for a ride on our tandem bike what when we hit a bump, and the handelbar shoved up my ass dislocating the pineapple I had got stucken in there last Christmas. Anyway I think all the commotion got my wife rielled up and she ate a coon. Anyway ta get it out of her before it dies? At coon was my favorite pet.
Oh man I fucking laughed until I farted, fuck.