Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Nathaniel Walker
Nathaniel Walker

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Leo Foster
Leo Foster

Yeah I took way too much acid.

Grayson Gonzalez
Grayson Gonzalez

You should know better than to experiment with neuro-drugs.

Your readings appear fine, apart from some minor dilation of the pupils.

Alexander Barnes
Alexander Barnes

76yo male. cc of a fall. pale and diaphoretic. BP 76/52. P 132. Sp0282% @ 15lpm via NRB. -pedal pulses and unstable pelvis.

Adam Miller
Adam Miller

Should you even be on this ship?

Gavin Gray
Gavin Gray

Help it's fallen and I can't get it back up

Liam Howard
Liam Howard

I cant pee

Adrian Ward
Adrian Ward

My balls hurt when i cross my legs together

Charles Garcia
Charles Garcia

I want to vote for Donald Trump.

Andrew Russell
Andrew Russell

These are hardly what I'd call, "emergencies." Ensign, the one who can't pee, help lift the crewman who fell.

Spend some time in the Holodeck.

We already have a captain.

Brody Robinson
Brody Robinson

But doctor I haven't went peepee in weeks! It hurts! It hurts like the dickens doctor! The dickens!

Anthony Bailey
Anthony Bailey

Take 200 cc's of catazone. Only 200. You should be fine by the end of the day.

Ryan Sanchez
Ryan Sanchez

nga'chuq je mom ghaj vIneH

Connor Peterson
Connor Peterson

Hey, language.

Noah Walker
Noah Walker

I think my rabbits are dead.

Brandon Wright
Brandon Wright

I am almost done Voyager, this warms my heart cocks.

Austin Bailey
Austin Bailey

Doctor I need your help. Remember how like, a minute ago you said 200? I took a little more than 200...

Connor Bailey
Connor Bailey

I'm pretty sure I said, "no pets," Lieutenant.

Glad we could help.

Hunter Garcia
Hunter Garcia

Good GOD man! Now you're urinating all over the place. Well, you're going to have to clean it all up when you're finished. I'll inform your shift manager.

But be honest; I was right when I told you you'd be fine by the end of the day.

Jaxon Davis
Jaxon Davis

I fell in love with an interuniversal second-dimensionesque being from the touhou universe, she communicates via telepathy straight into the human brain.

Is it possible for you to detect this phenomenon and develop a way of communicating back?

Robert Hernandez
Robert Hernandez

The urine shock has left me constipated doctor. What do I do?

Mason Johnson
Mason Johnson

Don't do it man, I can tell you a thing or two about alien-STDs.

Gabriel Moore
Gabriel Moore

Well, I guess you won't be "going" anywhere for a while.

Aiden Sanders
Aiden Sanders

I tried to get my balls all soupy but they never do.
I tried to learn Palmer script and now I have amnesia.
I pooped out a key I lost 6 months ago.
I ate too many cigarettes.
I pooped on my eyeballs.
The ocean at evening doesn't have a crisp enough breeze anymore.
Old women just won't stop sleeping with me.
I think I'm a very casual and basic individual but people keep asking to purchase my trash as art.
My dog got divorced.
My doctor changed my last name to 'Nipples'

Luis Gomez
Luis Gomez

You cheated on the exam at the Academy, didn't you?

William Gray
William Gray

I'm was just physically butt-hurt, but that comment has made it mental as well. My head hurts now doctor.

Jordan Morgan
Jordan Morgan

I'll take it from here. It's apparent that you need intensive care.

Jacob King
Jacob King

Indeed other doctor. I cant even walk property after my bladder exploded.

Tyler Williams
Tyler Williams

Cure me doctor it's apparent I been a naughty boy.

Brody Murphy
Brody Murphy

Oh, it "exploded?" I'd better call Mr. Paris then. He'd know what to do.

And you. Either stop bothering the doctor and return to your post, or await Mr. Paris.

Jayden Bailey
Jayden Bailey

You...wanted to see me, Seven?

Who are these two crewmen?

Adrian Sullivan
Adrian Sullivan

I doubt it doctor... Interesting, I think I'm having a heart attack. What do I do doctor?

Christian Hughes
Christian Hughes

This is \d\ right?

We're talking on 4clams.com\d\ right now? Either that, \d\ros, or I think we're somehow connected with a spaceship computer

Joshua Morgan
Joshua Morgan

This is the Federation Starship Voyager.

Aaron Barnes
Aaron Barnes

It's all in your head crewman, your readings are just "okay."

Dominic Butler
Dominic Butler

My bad lol. We don't judge here

Parker King
Parker King

Soon to be my grave as well. What with my constipation, burst bladder and current heart attack.

Cooper Sanchez
Cooper Sanchez

Societal homogeneity is a requirement for the advancement of a society, to make sure it flourishes.
Niggers and niggers of the sand type seem to act against this, against any sort of working structure that isn't "shoot with guns and commit criminal acts" and women tend to not be particularly loyal to any tribe. They're a weak point for cultural invasion and cultures who have their women chaste tend to have the focus and energy to expand and conquer. In fact, with that energy being present, it takes more focus NOT to than it does otherwise.
Women are to be kept chaste and in check, else they ruin all we work for by inviting "vibrant diversity" into a working system and have it upended by cultures contrast to our own.
Once unleashed, it is so much more work to create a society that contains the social cohesion women present that it is more likely the remnants will be absorbed into other cultures.

Due to women being suddenly "free to fuck" and therefore wandering aimless without a culture or purpose, they are angry and upset but unwilling to be coerced into a chaste status unless subdued forcefully. This is something that more tribal based cultures are more than able and willing to do.

However, there will be those who are otherwise, who flourish in this new found freedom.
My proposal is this: We find a way to separate those who flourish with individuality and create a new society.

Angel Perez
Angel Perez

Get back to your post...

How did you even get on this ship?

Mason Collins
Mason Collins

I don't know who you are, but please...

Dylan Wilson
Dylan Wilson

Kek

Connor Lee
Connor Lee

Teleport. They had to upgrade it to work on me cause of my weight.

Thomas Flores
Thomas Flores

HOW DID THESE FERENGI GET ON BOARD?

Intruder alert! We've been boarded.

Joshua Smith
Joshua Smith

You'll be on controlled rations and mandatory physical training exercises in the Holodeck until your health meets Starfleet standards. Mr. Tuvok will assist you.

Isaiah Scott
Isaiah Scott

He broke his little ships

Jacob Sanchez
Jacob Sanchez

But I like being fat.

Thomas Johnson
Thomas Johnson

This is the UNSC Infinity. We have a special slipspace drive made by an ancient race called the Forerunners. It can take you from one side of the galaxy to the other in very short period of time. Much faster than your simple warp bubbles.

Asher Adams
Asher Adams

Prepare to be ass-stimulated. Resistance is feudal.

Owen Sanchez
Owen Sanchez

I fucking love this bread!

Jason Howard
Jason Howard

Well I don't like you being fat.

No, look around. This is Voyager.

Mason Diaz
Mason Diaz

I must advise you, I am trained in Tsunkatse.

Caleb Edwards
Caleb Edwards

Well what's a four foot two man suppose to weigh?

Levi Torres
Levi Torres

Fat lot of good that'll do you in your regen pod.

Sebastian Rogers
Sebastian Rogers

I got the herp help me doc

Samuel Parker
Samuel Parker

Not 86 kg, that's for sure.

Jose Reyes
Jose Reyes

I tried to warn you.

Parker James
Parker James

I'm... you answered my hail, though. Is this thing on? This is Captiain Thomas Lasky of the UNSC Infinity.

Jonathan Harris
Jonathan Harris

No, this is Voyager. And you're in the Delta Quadrant, about 50,000 lightyears from Earth.

Jonathan Scott
Jonathan Scott

Damn, puss in a sink? Where can I get some of that?

Landon Ortiz
Landon Ortiz

Look, just, goddamn it. Listen. We are searching for this guy, his rank is Master Chief, designation 117. John? I think that's it. I don't know if he answers to it so maybe don't bother yelling at him in a crowd, though.
There's this chick, right, and we were like "Yeah, take some kids and mod them to be super turbo turkey punchers" so she did and now we're being reeeaaal big dicks about it. So we are trying to find our wayward product of the Spartan project.
Seen a man in a powered exoskeleton around here?

Isaiah Walker
Isaiah Walker

No. I'd suggest you fly in a different direction, preferably not behind us. Watch out for the "Borg."

William Sullivan
William Sullivan

help i cant make babies

Justin Roberts
Justin Roberts

Yeah, that borg of nine is quite insidious.

Ian Gutierrez
Ian Gutierrez

I HAVE HAD A BONER FOR TEN HOURS

Easton Parker
Easton Parker

the doctor has abandoned us

Carson Perry
Carson Perry

Anyone got a usb line and back-up for the doctor?

Joshua Clark
Joshua Clark

Doctor it happend again

Jason Perry
Jason Perry

Did you cross circuit the replicator and transporter again?

Carson Ross
Carson Ross

For the last time Grunt, the genophage has been cured. You just happen to be impotent

Christian Garcia
Christian Garcia

You don't know how lucky you are.

Asher Barnes
Asher Barnes

20 borg are about to break through that door

James Hall
James Hall

No an Ensign told me to hide it so i hid it in the best place i could think of

Asher Wilson
Asher Wilson

I cant poop, doc!

Austin Rodriguez
Austin Rodriguez

FIX MY DICK

Camden Edwards
Camden Edwards

Well we waz goin for a ride on our tandem bike what when we hit a bump, and the handelbar shoved up my ass dislocating the pineapple I had got stucken in there last Christmas. Anyway I think all the commotion got my wife rielled up and she ate a coon. Anyway ta get it out of her before it dies? At coon was my favorite pet.

Kayden Kelly
Kayden Kelly

Oh man I fucking laughed until I farted, fuck.

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