I have a drug test tomorrow at DD, last time I smoked was Sunday...

>another mj addict faces reality
>I'm not an addict
ok buddy

Riae suicide

Came for the trolling

Stayed for the quints

I'll try anything thanks user

Drink shit loads of water mixed with some bleach (50/50), it should get your blood pumping and you will start to urinate. And if you feel a bit sick, just remember its the "weed" living your body. You should drink at least one and a half liters

So, quick question, why did you smoke weed if you need a job? Just curious.

Because I love sucking dick

Are you trying to kill him? All he needs is 2 cups bleach max.

My suspicions are confirmed.

We know, but really, why did you smoke weed if you need a job?

You're a big gay faggot. The drug test was pretty much implemented to catch stoners. No other drugs stays in your system the same way as marijuana does.
If you're not a habitual user, then smoking a joint or something will normally leave your system in about 3 to 5 days. If it's not too late, look up aspirin trick methods for drug tests. (I've passed a drug test this way, but i felt really messed up while doing it.) if you live in Texas or some other state near Mexico, if suggest a method called "Palo Azul" but this may be hard to find on hand and may have to be ordered. Look up how to make palo Azul tea before you do it as well. Or just buy a 30-50 dollar detox at your local smoke shop. If you're a skinny, well nourished man, it should work. Good luck and God speed you magnificent bastard. If there's a system, there's a way to beat the system.

True, and you will actually not need the water if you want a quicker effect

Because I love being an autism avenger and making my life harder than it needs to be

how fat are you, how often do you smoke?

You guys are mean. At least give him the full recipe. You're going to need ammonia as well.

...

It's called self-sabotage and the welfare office is full of people guilty of it. Most of them stink of weed too. Instead of sucking on your pipe, suck on a 12 gauge next time.

Someone's father left at an early age

If you smoke on the d-low not to often. You will be fine, however if you are moderate to heavy your fucked but there is a solution just depends how far you're willing to go. I was once in the situation and you need to go full faggot. Get a small sized medicine container and someone's clean piss (gender dose not matter) then lube it up and shove it up there. The body temp of ur ass keeps it the temp its required to pass then pour it in container in the bathroom, shits fucked but gotta make sacrafices some times

Wut?

Buy handwarmers and unlubricated trojan enz.

Have your clean buddy piss in a bottle for you. Stick that in the fridge overnight.

An hour or so before you leave for your test, run that bottle under hot water until it feels warm-ish. Then open it, stretch the condom over and squeeze a dick full of pee into it.

Get a safety pin and wear it under your belt.

Put the pee condom into another condom, and then into a tube sock. Put that tube sock and the handwarmers into another tube sock.

Tape that shit to your leg.

Then when you get to the place, say you dont really have to pee yet. That puts them at ease. Have a tiny cup of water and sit for like 10 minutes.

When you do get to the bathroom, just whip that safety pin out and poke a hole in the peepee condom.

Now you've got clean pee at the right temperature, and the nosy bitch at the door only hears you being quiet for a while before the pee sound begins.

You're welcome. Don't fuck up my coffee in the morning, I know you lazy faggits slip dark roast in there like I wont notice

>current year
>using old urine
top kerk lad

drink water, also make sure it not your first piss of the day, but really youll be fine

why did u smoke so long ago if you aint got a job

You have to take a drug test to work at Dunkin' Donuts? I'm glad I don't live in your shit-tier communist country.

You think that shit goes instantly from the bottle to the lab?

Do you have any idea how long those samples sit in a hot truck on their way to the $300,000 gc/ms machine, esp if you go on a friday?

That shit gets more cloudy than seattle. I've done this with pee that was FROZEN for 2 weeks.

you're literally full of poop

wow
what a stereotypical faggot
I bet you like words like integrity, perseverance, and determinations.

Not anymore. I'm taking a shit rn.

Whatever though. If you wanna go full homo and jam some pee up your asshole, far be it from me to stop you.

After all, OP is a faggot.

Buy a qCarbo drink. It takes about 90 minutes to work and masks the thc for about 5 hours. Just follow what it says to do on the back. Worked fine for me.

OIL CHANGE
>DRINK 2 GALLONS OF WATER
>PISS LIKE RACE HORSE
>STICK A SLIM PIPE UP YOUR PEE HOLE
> POUR (FROM A JAR) CLEAN URINE INTO FUNNEL UNTIL CLEAN PISS IS INSIDE BLADDER
> REMOVE PIPE
>GO DO PISS TEST

test results will be negative.

Those work almost as well as the bleach method detailed above.

np.... just drink a ton of water so you piss clear.

They drug test at DD?
fuck they must be some junkies by you

>how to get infections in a place you really don't want them

cause he gets loads of cum dumped into his ass so he takes weed so he can do anal

well it %100 worked for me. I failed 1 test earlier that day then bought the drink and passed 3. Soooooo...

First off, faggot. Don't smoke before a job.

Insta fail. Diluted sample. Creatine and color are wrong. Either load up on b6 and creatine to maybe pass, or fill up a condom with clean pee and come back next week.

This.
Also they really don't like overdiluted piss

What, those cheap drugstore ones?

Lol. Good luck with that

sorry, meant this. Pouring someone else's piss into yourself will pass the test. But bladder infections are no fun

They didn't ask if it was safe
They asked for a quick option

y did u smok if u ned yob op

I was doing heroin at the time and wasn't really think straight

Do you think the weed will show even after a few days?

yeah the H too

Drink 2 gallons of water. Drink full thing of canberry juice. Take 4-5 niacine pills. Feel the burn. Drink more water. Take two shots of apple cider vinegar. Work out for 2-3 hours (i did heated yoga 115 degrees F for 90 min and yoga) passed drug test overnight

Take a safety pin and jab a hole in your arm right before the test. Tell them a junkie stabbed you with a syringe full of marijuanas on your way to DD.

>Shoving a medicine bottle in your ass to get a job at dunkin doughnuts

Department of Defense.

Beautiful quints, my friend :^)