I'm gonna get thrown into prison for at least a couple of years soon and I'm scared as fuck since I've never been in...

I'm gonna get thrown into prison for at least a couple of years soon and I'm scared as fuck since I've never been in prison before.

Will I get beaten up? How do they treat newcomers?

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What for user? Iv done a couple of months inside

felony possession of LSD with intent to distribute

don't step on any toes and you'll be fine. Most people there are looking to do their time in peace then get out. If there's guys there doing pong time then don't associate or tell them how long you're in for

Just don't appear weak. Everyone will be testing you to see if you can be used/manipulated. If you don't show any weakness and dont give out your stuff you'll be fine. Good luck

depends on the country but less than 2 years usually get sent to county jail which is shit tier but the people are more relaxed then in a prison

That's sugar coating it. Unless he's extremely lucky, he's gonna need to affiliate with some group. A couple of years by yourself in peace and quiet is unlikely.

I got raped on my first day in jail. Maybe you'll be lucky and do your time ok or you might get the short straw like I did

Nigga you got the long straw in the boipucci

As long as you aren't getting taken advantage of or being annoying little shit then people won't bother you. Besides the lifers everyone there wants out asap and getting in fights just adds more years to your sentence

Wrong.
That's a great way to get your shit kicked in.
You mean to say, keep your nose out of everyone's business, don't look at anyone, don't do shit. Just keep to yourself.

First offense OP? Where's your case at? I just racked up a ton of felony possessions as a first offender (trivial amounts of LSD, mushrooms, other psychs) and I'm waiting on indictment/sentencing ATM.

You're fucked too, how much was bail tho

this, acting like a tough guy is the worst thing you could do

Hopefully you aren't white

$1000 due to first offender & having a college degree

1000 was my dwi misdemeanor A. Prolly won't get jail time then

thats why you eat the drugs, go to ER and get sedated, stupid.

So to summarize. Mind your own business, stand up for yourself, but in a respectful manner.

Not as bad as it seems try get in with one of groups for protection, speaking from expierence I use to get small jobs such as mopping the corridor floor and nearly got my throat slit if it wasent for my friend in the cell across from me taking him off his feet at the sight of a box cutter and the guy coming behind me. Make friends.

From what I understand, there's a unique charge for each schedule 1 substance identified. Police didn't recognize shit like 2C-E, methallylescaline, NBOMes, so I won't get those charges until it all comes back from the crime lab. Right now all I have is misdemeanor marijuana poss, poss of LSD, poss of mushrooms.

'Merica, the country of victimless "crimes".

You need to stick to your own race. They are the only ones that will protect you.

Just take it! Rape isn't that bad

Nigga you gonna have like 10 classes to go to, probation for years, and shit ton of surcharges lel

Prison ..box cutter...some brittany getting the mop... best sit back and lurk new friend ...

Say you only sold lsd to support your viscous smack habit that you acquired when your new doctor under obamacare gave you a pescription of Oxy. Then say you need treatment not punishment and check into a rehab.

Classes? Surcharges?

True story I now have 2 aryan tattoos I regret getting while home for the few days I got out around christmas. What the guy a few above me said stick to your own race.

What group made you pay rent? And what clique tried to steal the merch ... i bet your sorry ass got traded for ramen all day

asically. people in jail are angry as fuck and will lose it over the tiniest things just keep that in mind. my first few days in because I spit in the shower and everyone was on my ass

Kek .. imply you had anything to offer the brand other than boot space

I was beat up twice, never raped. I stuck around with skinheads no rent to be payed just had to share any drugs or a lend of a phone if you had one (I did not have one).

Not a great time to get thrown into prison. Gonna be really difficult to find work in there. Haha.

To much oz

If you didn't murder or rape or molest a kid your fine, drug crimes and other low level shit wont cause any trouble among inmates you will be in with people of similar crimes.

I just got out of prison last month after doing 3 years. It depends on where you're going but prison isn't really that bad. Jail is what fucking sucks. Just don't be dumb, don't be scared (Or at least appear to be scared) and for fucks sake don't bitch and moan about being there or that your gf left you or any other personal problems you have. Just do your time and don't let others try to hustle you. Play spades or whatnot but don't gamble. All in all I had fun in prison in Wisconsin and met some cool dudes and fucked with chos.

I played it cool, helped people if I could, but don't let yourself get drawn into anything, don't let people take advantage of you. Be reasonable and try meet aggression with complements. Did year and a half, only got hit in the face once and that was for someone making up shit. Made friends with a friend of the guy running the wing, used humor and just being pleasant to be around and reason. Within 3 months I was into all kinds of things, card games, got my laundry done special, got all kinds of things, easy jail, easy time, by the end I way buying and selling, protected by mass murderers because I never cheated no body, never gave anyone a hard time, always fair and straight up, even cons like that. Avoid the crazies, stick to yourself, help people if you can, don't get involved in shit, be good to people, for some reason going to chapple and stuff helped allot to.

C.O. checking in. I hope you aren't here in Tx or I might be watching niggers push your shit in while holding jiggers.

Nah not really, when you share facilities, you don't spit on them, you treat them like gold.

I got 5 years for messing with my friends 12 year old sister, to survive you have to assert dominance. First week I was inside I half strangled a big dude who was giving me shit (I have wrestling background). After that no problems, didn't even have to be in PC. This was in New Zealand tho, not sure if it will be such a cakewalk in USA pokie.

You can defuse allot of situations by being chill & talking in a reasonable upfront manner, pausing to think what the fuck you say before you say it. Lifers do this all the time, didn't meet any who where not hella chill and being chill and nice to be around got me an easy time.

You are going to pound me in the was prison son. Just let it happen. From a former prisoner to a future one

I keep hearing not to let people take advantage of you. how would someone go about taking advantage of you?

are you autistic.....basic shit, pushing you back in line, taking your food, forced "favors" making you a general bitch boy

They will check you in to see if u fight or fuck but other than that keep to ur self and don't start shit

People will help you out then expect a favor in return. If your celley offers you his extra sweet cakes don't take them because he'll expect your sweet cakes to be on his dick later that night

the people who are first to approach you and act like they got your back right away are just there to mooch n take advantage of you,eventually try to get in with people who chill n have a routine like cards working out reading join the click by taking part in these activities but seriously op i have 14 mugshots Im a violent felony offender n never been to prison only a couple years of county for robbing multiple houses talk to your paid lawyer not a pd and you'll get probation with a suspended sentence or rehab/treatment if you play that card

Never been to prison, went to jail in Canada for a few weeks for some fines I didn't pay. Nothing too complicated really, that is your new home so treat it with respect because you share that home with other people. Also don't let food or anything go to waste, everything has a certain value in there. Make allies, though none of them are your friends, and read lots. Learn to write and draw, exercise every day and keep your head clear. Jail/prison can be hard for some people, dear clear of the crazies and don't let it drive you nuts.

I'm
threads gonna die but if you want more info or wanna talk about this questions exc. post a way to message you, most of the people in county jail have been to prison a i spent a year with a bunkie who had done 8 years with nothing better to do than talk n learn all about it

This, pay for a good lawyer, it'll be worth it in the end.

Just got out of jail. I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called the Brewer, and a job bagging groceries at the Food-Way. It's hard work. I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello. But he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doing okay and making new friends. I have trouble sleeping at night. I have -- bad dreams, like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Food-Way, so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense anymore. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided to leave. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me.

which province?

Nigga you waiting on drug court.

It probably would be a big deal here, seeing as how pedophilia is frowned upon here, they'd likely just kill you here for that.

Watch all seasons of Oz.
It will teach you all there is to know.

Nice trips

Alberta, I was visiting from Florida to see family and they dragged me in from off the plane and cuffed me. Decided to not pay a driving without insurance fine, which wasn't too bad because it was a learning experience

10/10

Become muslim they will protect you

my state had to make killing pedos a hate crime because we had such a big "problem" with all of them getting killed once they went to prison even tried making their charges hidden to other inmates but guards would leak the info and look the other way wile they got a weight set smashed through their skull

all the diddlers are seperated from everyone else. If you killed a cop your life will hell in prison

you watch to much tv

>getting caught
fucking amateur, just like every other dumbshit who gets caught.

>Oh it's bad luck, wrong place, wrong time

No, you're just an idiot fucktard who doesn't cover his tracks. If you're going to be a criminal, at least be professional about it. Enjoy your stay at the loser cage

Brooks was here...

Hmm, but you still get put on a list and given probation pretty much for the rest of your life I imagine.

fellow Albertafag, ive had 2 of my friends go to jail. 1 for 4 counts of grand theft auto and 3 outstanding no automobile insurance tickets, and one guy for something back in Nova Scotia

guy with GTA and insurance talked his way out of grand theft auto charges but spent time for not paying like $10,000 in no insurance tickets. said he voluntarily refused to shower for most of the time he was there but nothing else happened. other guy got jumped by some native for his food, thats it

i think jail here in Alberta was worse years back, i worked with a guy about 10 years ago that was a guard in the 80's and he had fucked up stories of what happened. main one i remember is some guy shanked a fat guy and started pulling the fat out of his gut

Yea, county jail time is the worst. I fucking hated being in the county

hes actually correct, the ex-guard i worked with said pedophiles are number 1 on all inmates shitlist and anyone that wants to stir trouble for fun will harass/shank pedophiles first

I had to wait for over a year in jail in new brunswick. Correctional facitilis are a living hell there's no fresh air, no activities to do and you go outside maybe 4 times a week. If your ever in canada and have charges tell your lawyer you want a sentence over 2 years so you go to the penn wheres there's tons of shit to do.

Srsly when ever someone brags about going to jail or prison all I can think about is how stupid it was to get caught or do the crime in the first place.

It's like, "oh, you're too dumb to make money legit, so you gotta do it the dumb way and end up paying out your ass for it with time and money. You're amazingly cool."

Woah look at the horns on you there big guy, OP was just some kid experimenting with drugs. He never claimed to be a criminal or a hardass, I dunno who you're trying to impress by puffing up your chest but you're coming off as needy. Needy for attention that is, pipe down and chill man. We're sharing stories, not comparing dick sizes here

I did three years in Michigan DOC. Went through Jackson quarantine, then landed in a level 1 camp basically.
Shit was cake bro.. Had a few friends I knew from the world. It wasn't that bad.
If you don't put your business on the street, don't gamble, and don't fuck with the sissies, you should be fine.

I'm just saying that guy was bragging about beating up another pedophile which is pretty ironic. Literally one of the first thing they ask you when you get to jail is if your crime involoved a child so they can seperate you from everyone else

Just saying if you're going to do shit, do research on how to do it, and take the precautions in not getting caught. It's not about books smart or street smart, but rather all around intelligence and common fucking sense.

Same here in America

>common sense and intelligence
>doing criminal shit
pick one

chance you will get raped and contract aids. My wife's cousin did. dead now.

Yeah, the driving without insurance charge is really a joke though. In Florida here its only a 50$ ticket. But yeah I mean I seen a guy get his ass kicked but that was about it though, it was a short fight.
Yeah I hear you, first thing I noticed when I walked out was how fresh and clean everything smelled. I wonder how it would be like to be locked up on the east coast, funny thing is I used to live in NB lol

This.

Got lucky enough to get locked up with a guy I knew in the real world. Pretty much chill, NO DISRESPECTING ANYONE. Don't say smart ass shit or with any sarcasm, that will get your ass beat. Eventually you'll get to know some people and can pass your time a little quicker playing cards and telling stories other and shit.

And don't worry about that fag rape shit, if someone's raped, they were getting a message. Most guys in prison are A-type personalities and don't like faggotry. Most of that shit is really down low and there are queers they can fuck if they want it. Putting on skittles lipstick and shit.

Prison isn't anything like what you see on TV, I actually spent most of my time locked in my cell reading. It's really fucking boring more than anything.

Get a job if you can. If nobodies putting money on your books, it's the only way to get the extra luxuries.

I ain't gonna spew bullshits and copy pasta like some of these faggots, so here goes. All I can say for certain is that, strip search (including anal inspection) is real and mandatory for the first time you get there, every meet and even just to change new uniform. If you are in America, you can ask for police protection; protective custody, if you feel unsafe to be with other inmates. They will put you in special cell but you won't have much free time like the other inmates.

There's risk in crime bro, I agree with what you're saying but typically the average person only learns lessons the hard way. IE getting thrown in jail, or being fined and so on and so forth. I've done my fair share of crime and only went to jail once because I was too lazy to pay a fine, but I knew full well what was happening. I agree with you, but at the same time I also had sort of a mentor helping me with my shit, so I understand that not everyone is at the same level so to speak.

The jail was a shithole probably one of the oldest in the country but there were cool guards which helps alot. The shediac jail is pretty bad they send in people from up north who only speak french

>Shediac
I used to live in Moncton, nice! And yeah I imagine they had a bunch of Quebecois there

This pasta is very good

This. I've done county and DOC time. DOC is a cake wall compared to county

Thing about county is people are always coming and leaving so you have a good chance of getting drugs. Amd every jail I've been in has had at least one guard bringing in drugs

/thread

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You will just get probation or pti if young enough and no priors they will make you take a substance abuse evaluation. When taking the evaluation you are under no oath so u can just bullshit your way out of rehab if you don't look like a scumbag and pay your fines. Be on point with your probation officer and don't give them any reason to dislike you drug offences are such bullshit especially for fucking LSD shit is harmless

Just finger someone. They can't put you in after that. Also watch Shawshank redemption a couple times.

Uh felony anyway if you get into a fight, fight back also don`t snitch, don`t ask for any favors unless you got some smokes to pay, when you get out to the yard try to do some exercise keep quiet to yourself don`t tell them why are you in.
Or you could say fuck it sell everything burn off finger prints, and go to another country.
Start a new life

2C-E was a game changer for me

be lucky youre not goin to prison in Russia, North american prisons are basically 3 star hotels

So someone cuts in line then what do you do? Hit them? What if they're bigger?

It will be something like this OP you need to watch the movie
youtube.com/watch?v=vrgcGhRKQHE

If you like the taste of black penis you should be fine.

Honestly, I would just pack my shit for a nice long camping trip and not return.

In fact I'd sooner be killed killing ten or a hundred cops than be taken prisoner by one.

Fuck the "justice" system. There's nothing just about it.

Been a prison guard for a couple of years now and gotta say you will be fine. Prison is boring. No fights, just expect to turn into a whiny man child who's biggest concern in life is getting to chow first so, " I don't miss out on the good chow. "

Do you have a bandaid I could use? Because I cut myself in one if you edges.

youtu.be/eU1uTpaXYyU?t=32s

Don't mess with a mans punk don't steal or gamble don't be soft and. Don't take any shit

underrated post

>prison turns people into chimps
>guards are disgruntled wanna be cops

How is the pay?

True.

As long as you shave your ass, and use ketchup bottles to work it open and stretch it out first, you'all be fine. Protip: fill the ketchup bottles with salad oil, then when it's up your ass out your head down, & ass up in the air to pour the oil deep into your rectum. This will help slide the cocks in 1000x and greatly reduce tearing.

This is you

liveleak.com/view?i=400_1464643645

>Implying that's not a reasonable position considering how fucked the rest of your life is after getting tangled up in the courts.

Is a one-way trip, user.

>in you

Hurr 4chin

I ain't done any time, but my best friends are felons and I have listened to them.

For the ones that did 20-30, they are tough, and still big on respect.
One is covered in swastikas, other has a tear drop on his face.
But they are the most stand up men I know.

It's just all about respect.
Stay within your race.
Don't be a bitch.
You're more likely to kill someone slicing them than stabbing. Keep the shank in your hand, blade facing down. (you hopefully won't ever do this)
Don't try to start anything, but you better damn well finish it it.

That's the best I've been told.

I ain't done any time, but most my friends are felons and I have listened to them.

For the ones that did 20-30, they are tough, and still big on respect.
They are the most stand up men I know.

It's just all about respect.
Stay within your race.
Don't be a bitch.
You're more likely to kill someone slicing them than stabbing. Keep the shank in your hand, blade facing down. (you hopefully won't ever do this)
Don't try to start anything, but you better damn well finish it it.

That's the best I've been told.