ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck
So you kicked an animal a tenth your size? Wow, alpha indeed.
fuck you
This. If Op was really alpha, he would have held the cat down and fucked it
Kick something that fucking matters and see what happens, dipshit.
k, I won't be kicking you then will I
>walk around park
>some asshole left a full drink on a table
>nobody around
>get up on table and kick it across the park
>some land whale starts bitching from across the park that I spilled her drink and owe her a new one
>flip her off and tell her she shouldn't have left it on the other side of the park like a dumbass
>land whale huffs and puffs and collect her baby whales and leaves
No I suppose you won't, you'll just shitpost replies across the thread.
you stupid fucking cuntlick, go get cancer
You still wouldn't get the balls to kick me then.
kek, would pay to see
>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>bitch
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck
I have one.
>brother gets a hamster for birthday
>lets it walk around the room
>one day bites my toes
>alpha mode engaged
>later that day flush the little shit in the toilet
>watched it drown a little before i actually flushed
>told brother it probably found a hole in our room and probably ran out
And I mean she literally left it at one table and bench and was sitting in another
epic alpha behavior right there
you're a disgusting and worthless human being op
>be last weekend
>mom asks if I want to go see aunt and uncle
>no
>bitch
>alpha as fuck
yeah well you're a fagot
This kills the redditor
>be me
>use whisper app for depression kinda
>finally get tired of people stupid bullshit
>see that people like to share pics and etc
>pull nudes of tits and ass off google
>pretend to be lesbian send google nudes to other lesbians for real nudes
>then send the real nudes to other lesbians for their nudes
>did this for about 2 weeks and got 15-20 nudes a day
Thank you that made me laugh
Well played.
Op you're a fag for being abusive to animals a tenth your size.
>went on Cred Forums
>couldn't find decent porn thread
>came on Alpha thread
>Called OP a fag for being abusive to animals
>stuffed my face with a cheese burger
>Saw no irony whatsoever
>be OP
>touching animal thathat doesn't belong to me
>it scratches me
>be a little cunt and kick it.
I know it's bait, but anyone touches my animals without asking and then gets bit, deserves it. If they do anything to them, I'll beat their dick off, with both hands.
Man that's hot, where's your pets? I could use a good beat off, just don't start it if you can't make me cum
>see cat
>kick it
>has to get euthanized and causes the owners lots of stress and grief
>lol
Why is it Alpha threads are never alpha?
Is it because real Alpha people do not need others validation?
i no rite, genuine lulzy alpha OP
Id tell you to suck my dick but you'd probably enjoy it too much
bcuz u r mum luvs negro benis fagmeister
>beta level fail.
KEK
>be me 14
>fapping furiously to gay porn
>mother walks in
>user what are you doing!
>tell her to stfu and fuck me
>she fucks me with her dildo for hours until dad gets home
>me and dad both get fucked by mother
>alpha as fuck
fuck i dont think my cat kicking story can stand up to this.
you posted fake nudes to dudes for more fake nudes.
...
Uh Oh Spaghetti-O!
PETA member triggered
>be 12 year old me
>have little shit annoying 6 year old brother
>only 6 but already KappaPride as fuck
>brother gets Barney doll for present
>convince him he's gay unless he flushes Barney down toilet
>watch as gay little fuck flushes his doll
>tears everything
>he's in college now sucking dicks off Grindr
Thanx user
>at the mall
>be playing MCR on my phone
>security guy tells me to stop
>turn music off
>flip him off when he turns his back
>alpha as fuck
Nah they were real i would do image searches
...
>be me 16 halo3 for days
>mlg 45+ matchmaking super cereal shit
>lil bro 12 at the time talking shit
>he's distracting me intentionally
>we lose literally because fucknugget won't stfu
>stand up drill him in the face with all my might
>starts screaming and crying I laugh
>tell friends I gtg see you at school
>he never talked while i was playing again
>to alpha for this thread
>be at home
>playing wow so no time to go to the toilet
>shit my pants
>tell mummy I need changing
>she sighs and tells me that 30 is too old to be doing this
>grab handful of watery shit from my underwear
>smear it in her face
>NO MUMMY IVE BEEN A GOOD BOY SO YOU HAVE TO CLEAN UP MY POO POOS
>she changes me while crying
>tears running down her face mingling with shit
>finish wow raid in record time
>alpha as fuck
>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck
>be me 16 you
>friend being drunk asshole
>I'm being a drunk asshole
>decide to fight
>group let's us fight
>drop my friend after a few hits
>jump on top and bash his face
>get pulled off
>I tell everyone to fuck off
>walk over to now defeated friend's gf
>grab her and kiss her
>'fuck this party I'm out'
>walking home when friend's gf runs uper to me
>'that was pretty hot user'
>take her to nearby park
>fuck and breed the shit out of her
>tell her she was a 4/10 but thanks for being a cum dump
>leave her at park and walk home
>be me 14
>just finished school
>suddenly need to fap
>get naked
>photoshop sister's face into 100 boy CP pics
>print them all out
>arrange them all on the floor
>prop up a mirror so I could watch myself
>keep fapping and edging it for about thirty minutes
>moaning YOOU NASTY LITTLE WHORE GIVE ME YOUR HAIRLESS DICK I WANT TO BITE IT OFF
>ejaculate boiling hot jizz all over the pics
>collapse panting and sweating
>nearly black out from the joyful orgasm
>look up
>realize I'm in McDonalds
>not particularly alpha really
>be me
>watching neighbors dog while they vacation
>know im not getting paid enough for this shit
>walk into their house (wasnt supposed to)
>go to girl that was my ages room
>take some panties to jerk into aa payment for dog sitting
>did it 2 more times before they returned
>Had this friend turn schizo jesusfreak. Tricked him into signing his soul over to me, as he had somewhat of an alcohol problem. Held onto the contract until he forgot about it. Told him I would trade his soul for mine, at the gates of hell. He went into breakdown mode, and he has been institutionalized since.
l2greentext faggot
>be me
>be first letter of the Greek alphabet
>alpha as fuck
>be me
>banging chick I met that works at coffee house, 7/10 extra points for personality she was pretty fun to hang out with
>purely recreational, late texts, drunk hook ups etc
>get a text one night from her
>"come fuck me and my roommate"
>thisisnotadrill.jpg
>roommate is slightly hotter
>go over, we start drinking
>bust out playing cards, clothes start coming off etc
>we fuck. after i finish the roommate off she goes into her room
>continue fucking the coffee till she gets off
>then go into her roommates room, fuck her again
>after that end up in a cycle of fucking both girls for pure sport, and they both knew about it and did nothing
>later ditch both for hotter chick
...
niiiiice
>also never go to that coffee shop again
>confusing stupid as fuck with alpha as fuck
Being this retarded
So.... how about sharing some of the acquired loot?
Bump
You made a man kek today sir. In fact, you made him top kek. God bless you.
>Why is it Alpha threads are never alpha?
You know where you are right?
90% of the poeple that post in Cred Forums hardly ever go outside.
They also suffer from creativity because OP is pasta like most threads.