ITT: shit white people say

ITT: shit white people say

>ahh there's nothing like drinking a nice glass of water after one of mom's homemade milkshakes

My mom doesn't make milkshakes

I don't get it

You've never even heard a white person speak, have you?

I'm betting you were what, born in jail, maybe? Then maybe they just decided to keep your nigger ass there, but out the middleman, so to speak. Just gonna end up back there anyway...

I have to pay these bill and be a responsible member of society.

"I got pulled over but simply did what the police officer told me to do and there was no issue."

I'm actually an FA loser whos biggest accomplishment is some quakers oats guy that had literally nothing to do with me. Also I'm really racist against black people but ironically these creates some weird masoschistic cuckold fetish which is why us white males have a monopoly on the BBC cuck market.
Oh wait, I thought the title was "say things white people wont admit"

>shit white people say

Off to work so I can support my family and not depend on the government for food stamps.

Or

Hello officer, thank you for your service, have a great day, sir.

Man I can't wait for heel meal this week.

"Hi dad."

You know, as much as I want to "lol black people", everyone should be suspicious of cops. What the fuck would I thank them for? Getting paid taxes to harass me and kill civilians and get fat then retire at 40? Fuck those parasites.

Haha, good one

thanks lol

"Yes, this baby is unexpected but the last thing I would ever do is run away and leave a child fatherless, what kind of deadbeat monster would that make me? I have to be a responsible parent and support my new family."

"Pick that cotton!"

"we should bomb everyone who doesn't agree with my world view!"

I have to work in the morning

>"okie dokie"
>"alrighty"

caught my superior white self saying alrighty today

Meow, you stupid motherfucker ... meow.

"I was raised in a healthy, middle-class family with plenty offered to me, and I don't understand why brown people who were born with nothing can't get a proper education and a job! Bomb those niggers!"

"Sure glad i'm not a nigger."

its all about the tone brah... you can say anything as long as it dosent sound like Ned flanders

"can't wait to go home to both of my loving parents"
"Had a good day at work today"
And my all time favorite
"Thanks for the warning officer"

"thanks for the warning officer"

"Bomb those Googles!"

FTFY

"Sure glad I'm not a Google"

FTFY

My white friend Steve comes out with some real winners:

>I'm not racist, I just fucking hate niggers.

>Shut up, you uppity monkey cunt!

>It's not rape because brown fuckmeat is still white property. Where's your wife?

Steve's a riot. We're going bowling later.

"I'm white".

I think I'll just remain civilized.

We gotta' be more careful. Our Mom nearly caught us while we were fucking again.

you mean what white kid Cred Forumstards say?
"something racist, cliché' and completely unoriginal"

What a good day, at work.

Gonna call my parents who love me dearly

some stupid nigger got killed by the police, why did he carry on moving when the officer told him to stop?

Did you have a good day baby? shit Tyrone cheated on Tracy. No shock there *both laugh* love you lots

Nigger

Why yes, I do know my father.

Let's go swimming.

yeaah. Thats all like, really fucking insightful. But do you think you could really live your live without cops? A world where the only measure of safety is faith in human nature? Ffs man, SOMEBODY has gotta be the cops. And sometimes, maybe, they might even be honorable at it.

"Please don't rape me!"

>You know, you never really don't know how good you have until its gone.

...

Savings account.

>Yeah, I got off the murder charge when I told them it was self defense.

Hi dad!

Yes, this does belong to me.

>Well I certainly don't agree with him, but I do respect him.

>Man i love contributing to society
When will whitey learn

>I was talking to my significant other.

Fucking white cucks refuse to say boyfriend or girlfriend. Any time I see a comment section from reddit those fags say "so" just to be PC. Fucking cucks.

A jury and courtroom full of lawyers much smarter than you determined that it was.

I'm sure you're more clever than all of them though, your manager at PetSmart just can't recognize your brilliance.

Only thing that saved him was the stand your ground law in Florida.

Samefag

Nah given the facts he would have been found NG under any self defense regime. Explain to me how I'm wrong. You can't.

"brunch"

The stand your ground law swayed the jury heavily, as well as acted as corner stone for the defense's argument.

Without it he would have most likely lost jury appeal.

>i better go to sleep, i work in the morning

I fucking hate eggs.

>Thinking of going out to the lake this weekend with the boys, if my wife lets me.

I have some black friends.
Can i touch your hair?

Союз нерушимый республик свободных
Сплотила навеки Великая Русь.
Да здравствует созданный волей народов
Единый, могучий Советский Союз!

Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
Дружбы народов надёжный оплот!
Знамя Советское, знамя народное
Пусть от победы к победе ведёт!
Сквозь грозы сияло нам солнце свободы,
И Ленин великий нам путь озарил:
Нас вырастил Сталин — на верность народу,
На труд и на подвиги нас вдохновил!

Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
Счастья народов надёжный оплот!
Знамя Советское, знамя народное
Пусть от победы к победе ведёт!
Мы армию нашу растили в сраженьях.
Захватчиков подлых с дороги сметём!
Мы в битвах решаем судьбу поколений,
Мы к славе Отчизну свою поведём!

Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
Славы народов надёжный оплот!
Знамя Советское, знамя народное
Пусть от победы к победе ведёт!

please

>no, i don't have a criminal record

nobody says or thinks this dumb shit

> off to work

Fucking white people

>white people say things thread

No white person in history has ever said this.

We could have a "things black people say" thread but no one here would be able to decode.

Nigger spotted
How about don't do crimes, then maybe you wont be """""""harassed"""""""

...

Ey man where the fuck is that replacement 383 comin in? And where are my Marlboro blacks?
>mfw thats me
>mfw I'm the guy I'm referring to
>mfw when the post i just made is based on the things i would say
>mfw my mfw is a black guy
>mfw when I'm a white guy
>mfw you read this the game whole thing and enjoyed it :^)

More common than clapping when we laugh.

Vastly fucking underrated.

>changes her hair to go with it