ITT I help you fags out

Stop being a faggit
Not op kek

Not OP, but I know this one. Seeing eye dogs are trained to sniff anal wipes and bark one way if it's still dirty and another way if it's clean.

How do you know that's tea, bucko?

Smell test, obviously.

kek really?! so they have to take their dogs into the bathroom and it barks once for clean, twice for keep wiping?!
what about them blind niggers who don't have the dog?

I don't usually drink my piss in tea cups

Find a woman, talk to her. Flirt. If you're getting signals, proceed. If not, move on.

See I thought this. But. Try wiping a piece of toilet paper down your ass crack when you haven't taken a shit. Even if their is no shit on there, it still stinks.

It's a different pitch in bark. Low growl for dirty, higher, happier bark for clean.

What about them blind fucks with no dog? They have to take a whiff themselves or ask a friend like "Hey Franky, could you look at this and tell me if I should keep wiping"

How to approach wonen? I'm not ugly just awkward as fuck

How do people act alpha without fucking up and looking like douchebag faggits

Good point, maybe blind people smell like shit all the time, and the question should be "why do blind people smell like shit"

How do I tell the difference between signals, and her just being nice?

My ass usually doesn't stink if I haven't taken a shit. It just smells like my armpits, vaguely.

Maybe I just have good hygiene or my armpits smell like ass- which would be weird, because they smell like armpits, and my entire world would be flipped upside down.

30 years old with no degree or future in sight. How do I get on the right path?

keks
what a life man

Maybe they just wash their ass I'm the shower

Only the ones without a dog smell like shit apparently.

Depends on the setting. If you're in a store/retail environment talk about whatevers around. In a bar, introduce yourself and offer to buy a drink. Go from there. Be witty.

I like to rub my shit into the wallpaper of my bedroom. Now the landlord wants to do an inspection. How do I explain shit-covered bedroom walls? I have two days

Yeah but sometimes youre not always at home when you take a shit. If they are round a pals house are they like, dude I gotta take a shit and a shower thanks mang.

How long do i wait to hook up with ex girlfriends after dumping most recent girlfriend without being a shit stain?

Burn the place to the ground and make it look like a sand nigger did it.

I thought it was the same thing. It's pretty much the same mentality. I think not giving a fuck plays a large role.

When I need to defacate, I drop my strides and scoot about on the living room floor like a dog with worms whilst shitting, leaving a trail of shit. Now my landlord wants to inspect the house. How do I explain shit-stained carpet?

Yeah maybe you're right. But for example there is a drug dealer at my gym and he's alpha but my brother tries to and he's just a faggit and the dealer bags him out heaps.

Is remedying a lack of ambition/motivation worth striving for? is it even possible for everyone?

Experience. Watch her body language, see if she's inviting or initiating physical contact or closeness. Try light flirting, if she reciprocates it's usually on.

I'm detecting a theme here...

My landlord is coming round for a house inspection this weekend but I have murdered several prostitutes and hidden their bodies under the floorboards. What do I do?!?

I don't feel a passion for anything in life.
At this point I barely care how things turn out for me, positively or negatively.
What can I do to make shit feel worthwhile?

Dude I don't have passion for anything either but I do it cause it needs to be done
Not op

I've got a woman who I've been dating for 10 years (marriage isn't either of our things) who is always sad adn angry at her really fucked up life. Ive strayed a bit and got caught but she still wants me because I represent stability and happiness in her dark world.

I am personally tired of dealing with her problems and being her crutch. She is kinda of and has demonstrated this by moving out but still coming over nightly and sexing me up (sex it would seem is the thing we are best at)

She wants me to knock her up, and I would but I don't want to raise a child with such a negative and angry person.

Am I right? Should I break it off 100% and find someone else (I'm 30 and in shape if that helps you decide for me.)

Find what you're passionate about any try to find something vocationally similar. Don't be afraid to learn a trade!

Yeah, I do the necessary shit.
I just want to trick myself into feeling like things are worth doing even if they're not absolutely necessary. Going out, dealing with people that I don't have to, etc.

So, GF left me for a guy she plays video games with. We were together a long time. long. She now wants me back, but I hate her. How to overcome, op?

I may be the same user and have a shit covered house and have a fuckin inspection in 2 fukin days and have shit stains everywhere!!! Seriously thinking about doing a bunk

Performance art, you have a buyer lined up excited to purchase said shit. That should buy you some time to find a new place.

op why do gay people exist

>total unbiased information coming right up

You must dominate her by beats all her high scores and then by raping her ex boyfriend in front of herewith a ps4 gamepad

Ask him how he feels about necrophilia, and the rest will take care of itself.

Ditch that motherfucking bitch.
Also tell her to meet get. As I'm get fucked.
Not op

Also dying. Drank too much and killed myself.

Cos straight men looked at your mom said 'fuck that! Please stick a dick inmy ass'

>friends with girl
>girl is in an unhappy relationshit
>doesn't end it because their partner is stressed out
>making her majorly unhappy
>how do i convince her to break up with her partner
>also majorly crushing on her

Just reconnect, don't be pushy, don't bring up sex immediately. Just do some catching up at first, meet for drinks or something. Might take some time to get there, but you'll get there.

KeK

Was Swearengen really a bigger cocksucker than OP?

Nah, he was awesome.

Are you fat?

OP help. I no longer exist in this dimension anymore but my landlord is coming round for an inspection in the next 24 hours. What do?!

I'm a drug dealer and I'm looking for something with no negative side effects to cut my drugs with. Maybe sugar or vitamin C or something?

>Inb4 "you're a terrible person"
I sell MDMA and amphetamines, which need to be dosed at either 50 or 100 milligrams and my capsule maker only goes as small as 200mg, so I need something to make the difference up without hurting anyone.

You're talking about being feared. In that case, buy a gun, flash it around, get used to acting hard. Learn some prison slang.

No. athletic build

You think that now...

Are you ugly?

I guess that would depend on your motivations and ambitions, and how you ultimately define success.

No

Milk powder they give to babies. Everyone cuts coke with that.

Are you stupid?

Find a purpose. A man is nothing without a purpose.

no, why all the questions

>when your drug dealer is a total bro

I think what now?

Her choice is a depressed faggot or a fit, hot, smart guy... You just gotta sell it

What if they're lactose intolerant?

If you're set on breaking it off, I'd say do it. You gotta look out for your own happiness. If you want to try to make it work, counseling and communication. Otherwise, break it off.

Thanks man, appreciate the help. Here's a nude for your trouble

I say leave her in the dust. If she already broke your heart once, why give her the opportunity to do it again?

kek please for the love of fuck tell me this is a joke

Because people are people. And some people like doing butt stuff with people of the same sex.

You gave me terrible advice. I cant have it both ways. I know that and I am conflicted because of that.

If you're going to do it, do it with regards to her happiness and remove your feelings from the situation. Talk to her honestly, make valid points, but keep yourself/your crush on the back burner for now.

I genuinely worry about my customers well-being, but mainly I'm really really high right now. I see now it's dumb question because of how little milk product is involved

Np and good luck!

Fuck me if this isn't samefagging then it's some kind of Yoda shit

...

I'm no chemist, sorry m8

>26 year old neet
>No job history
>Not many skills
>Somehow not socially retarded though

What do?

You're a good dealer. Don't change OP.
But seriously, don't worry about it.

Not conflicting advice, options to choose from. If you're ready to get out, gtfo. Otherwise counseling and communication.

What r u addicted to?

You gotta start somewhere. The longer you wait the harder it'll be. You're not socially retarded, so you'd probably do well interview wise. Ask around, make connections, put yourself out there.

OP I'm having an existential crisis where I am questioning the fabric of my very being. In a few decades I'll be dead and it will be like I've never even existed. There is no afterlife or heaven, I will just become worm food. I don't know why I am alive or what the purpose of existence is. But my landlord is coming round tomorrow for an inspection and I don't know what to do. HALP!!

Kek. The "meaning of life" is to enjoy life and to push human kind forward. As for the landlord, try to persuade him that you're an artist and your apt is your work space. Many excited buyers are lined up. Basically just recreate that one scene at the end of The Iron Giant, but with poop stains and not a giant robot.