Shitty Things You Have Done Thread

Shitty Things You Have Done Thread


This happened 3 days ago, no pics taken to share because I didn't care to have physical evidence of how shitty I was.

>>Be me driving home after errand in the afternoon
>>See chick with bags sitting on the curb outside of my house
>>Sees me pull up and so she gets her shit and starts walking off
>>I quickly go inside and grab a bottle of water for her to drink (it is hot outside here)
>>She thanks me and quickly starts drinking and then the sob story starts
>>She has to go somewhere fairly far and blah blah blah
>>Hoping she is not thinking I'll drive her about 40 minutes away 1 way for her
>>Wondering why I decided to be nice and all of a sudden I had a fucked up idea
>>Cut off her sob story where she is saying she can get me $20 bucks and I tell her I find her attractive....can we work with that?
>>she is about 6/10, slightly overweight, and about 1 month pregnant
>>She looks at me and says that she is willing to do what she needs to get back to her place.

I'm here dick in hand. Continue OP

Part2
>>Inwardly surprised that a shitty porn sounding plot is actually unfolding so I lean in and kiss her on the mouth and she accepts but pulls back quickly
>>She is willing but resistant, My dick just jumped and became diamonds
>>Have her put her shit in my car and walk her into my place and lead her straight to my bed
>>Lay down and force my mouth over hers, can't pull away since she is on bottom and she relents to the my tongue exploring her mouth (which God only knows where it's been)
>>my hands wander under her shirt to play with her tits, she decides to pull up her shirt and bra under her throat
>>AwesomeRoundBCups.jpeg
>>start to lick and suck on them some, salty. My dumbass forgot she been outside for awhile.
>>Keep going anways, what the fuck is wrong with me????
>>I unbutton her pants and she finishes pulling them off with her panties at the same time
>>quickly pull off my tshirt and shorts as she finishes
>>Get on top and start rubbing my cock above her pussy. Right on her clit my cock is resting and I can see a worried look cross her face.
>>I feel hungry in a weird way, like a starved wolf looking at his prey...
>>Shake the feeling off and quickly grab a condom from my nightstand, I jokingly ask, >>Pretty sure you want me to wear 1 of these right?
>>"Relief washes over her face in an awesome wave"
>>She says yes and I wrap my Uncircumcised Piece of Glory and proceed to dive into that curbside pussy
>>I start slow but the situation is too fucking hot to me and I'm pumping as fast as I can to her slight grunts
minutes later I'm shrinky dink and pulling out to go flush my condor (No harpies plz)
>>I walk back in as she is smiling while getting dressed and asks
>>So, are we ready to go?
>>Tell her yes and lead her out to start the 40 min journey.
Part 3 to come if any interest, not pretyped

I had a chance like this except it was a 8/10 homeless chick who just wanted a meal. Instead of being a douchebag I just said no and drove away.

Jesus fuck OP pull your shit together.

You will give us part 3 faggot

>Taking taking advantage of that
You need to pull your shit together

>Not taking advantage of that
Stupid fucking phone

Close enough, give me a second. Typing on a phone at work

ok im game

It's a smart phone. You're the one with the retarded hands and reading comprehension of a 4 year old.

No idiot I just use take advantage so much that it autocorrects to that

dude im tired of waiting

Come on (#OP)

So your "N" key auto corrects to "Take advantage"? You must be a Take advantageigger.

Part 3 please, Jeffrey.

fuck it im out

burn in hell OP

Kekked

>>I put the address into the gps fpr the walmart Im dropping her at and we head out
>>she keeps typing shit on her phone
>>she already mentioned that no one could come get her. Who the fuck she texting so much???
>>honestly, not much happens until we are 10 min away from walmart and I tell her this, and suddenly she kind of "acts" surprised
>>Oh No! I needed to get to the walmart over at this city.
>>additional 22 minutes away....
>>tell her that she had told me this one that we are close to is where she told me
>>we stop at a gas station so she can pee and she is making phone calls tp see if someone can pick her up at this walmart we are almost at
>>she finally gets a "friend" who will get her because she is nearby but wants $15
>>Cool bro, and I finish getting to the walmart
>>she goes in to the walmart to pee again and I'm waiting when I decide to try my luck again.
>>she comes back and I tell her that if she wants to avoid paying her "friend" then i can drive her the rest of the way if she is willing to "pay" me again
>>she decides that this is an acceptable fee
>>I tell her let's get into the backseat

this better get real interesting real fast dipshit

This

Bumparino?

they fuck and her boyfriend shows up but it's okay because he's a huge cuck

OP is a fuckin Google

Lol

I've been wondering if he's a google or a skype. He's been real stingy. I think service dropped.

Obama turned off the service to his Obama phone

cant wait til this catches on more

It's been 30 minutes since OP has responded, thread dead?

Last 1, sorry for slow as shit typing

>>We climb into the back and she takes off her pants and panties again
>>I immediately sit and pull her on so she is straddling me.
>>pull her close to start making out again, she has head space so some resistance. My Dick is so hard it feels like I can stab a new hole into her to fuck.
>>she pulls my shorts down and my precum covered dick bounnces upwards trying to find water like a divining rod.
>>she gently wraps my dickdagger like it's a delicate child instead of a bad decision
>>she eases over me and I slide right in
>>this bitch is already wet!
>>her hands on my shoulders and my hands on her hips, she is bouncing away and nuzzles her face into my neck.
>>pull her head back and force my tongue in her mouth to slow this bouncing down.
>>get idea
>>slow her down and bounce her higher for longer strokes
>>super slick, I"m very sure this will work
>>IWantToBelieve.eXeFiles
>>I lift her and hold her with one arm under her ass and use the other to guide my Double Dipper into her ass
>>Her Wetness/condor lubricant is JUST enough to slowly work 1/3 of my dick in
>>she gasps loud and grunts when I slowly work into her
>>I want to finish because I'm so fucking close
>>Working with little strokes is getting the job done
>>I cum hard and fantasize about the condom breaking, but thankfully it doesn't
>>I make her sit until the swelling goes down.
I gorce her to make out some and finally when I have had enough ask
>>ok, ready to go?

Op your fantasies are fucking weak

I switched cookies after I left work. Fuck you to the niggers who are impatient. I WAS AT WORK!
anyways postscript which is boring, but i want to end it

>>I pull up my shorts and she gets dressed
>>she is very confused and not as butthurt as I thought she'd be
>>in my rational state of mind, I'm glad that she doesn't seem hurt
>>she actually SMILES at me and just starts babbling on about shit again almost at the point where our earlier convo had ended
>>Her friend is waiting at a Burger King 10 min away to pick hwr up
>>turns out her friend was clisish by
>>get there and her "friend" is an old nigress in a shitty mini van who still wants her to pay
>>I feel something, not pity, but something and hand the girl a $20 as she grabs my shit from her car and moves ot over.
>>I wish her luck amd she THANKS me for the ride
>> I shit you not. I almost laughed right then, but based on her convo pieces I knew she wasn't being clever.
Any questuons???
Also, why is no one posting their shitty shit they've done???

No one is as shitty as you that's why.

You got played OP, she obviously enjoyed the sex, was driven 50 minutes for free to get home then you paid her $20. How was your first time with a prostitute?

truth

>minutes later I'm shrinky dink and pulling out to go flush my condor (No harpies plz)
wat.jpg

You didn't get her a meal tho, how are you not a douchebag?

thanks OP, i'm pulling an all nighter to do an essay and now im rock fucking solid and dying to rub one out

what was so shitty about that?
I leigt dont know if Im missing something or if its the fact thats its almost 3 am and im tired.

op shuld have mad her his Gf lyke remoantic muvie ab lovey doves cause its rly cut6 and the y culd hav life vry hapy life 2gether 4ervvr becuz he say she wuz kind cute n stuff that wuld b vry romantical like in hol l ywod muvi se prly be ur cok slav 4 alon time mayb mke u d inner somtim for dic her way down f

Was referencing this

Kek op got played

Can you post cock op? Would love to see it.

If this IS the case then here's what I learned from it. I feel bad enough and will not be doing this shit ever again. I don't absolutely know that this chick was a prostitute (as opposed to some slut). And i got to live out a porn-esque fantasy type scenario. I try my best to learn a lesson from any shit that happens in my life.

topkek

That was pretty cool, thanks for sharing, OP.

...
what?

>>>I wish her luck amd she THANKS me for the ride
>THANKS
Almost as if you think you won someway in this? You lost well over an hour of your time, gas, and then you paid her $20? Thread should be titled: Holy fucking shit I'm an absolute fucking idiot.

I did not consider it a prize, I was expressing shock that she fucking thanked me. I was confused.
And quite frankly, I work from home and didn't have anything to do that day. I literally work and sometimes go out and drink with friends and that's it. Money has been kind of slow, but once the holidays start hitting soon it gets better for me

Wtf? Why?

>I work from home
>Said earlier you got home from work

Which is it OP?

Reread the first green text sentence. GOT HOME FROM AN ERRAND

>I switched cookies after I left work. Fuck you to the niggers who are impatient. I WAS AT WORK!
anyways postscript which is boring, but i want to end it
????

Goddamn it, I'm a fucking retard!!! I do freelance shit on the side on rare occasions. I call it work for simplicity sakes. Yeah, go ahead and crucify me, I'm goofy as shit at 5 in the morning especially when I woke up at 9am

I'm retarded. Look at this post for explanation if you're a different user

No that was me.

I don't understand why this is a shitty thing? What exactly about it is shitty?

Sorry bro, I needed to do my version of a confessing my sins to somebody.

How was this shitty? She wanted a ride to where she needed to go, and it was worth a greater or equal amount to sex with a stranger.

I want to believe that it was a fair barter. Sex=Ride. Both of us found acceptable prices for services rendered, but I grew up in a religious private schools and after highschool it dropped to the wayside. But, some of those guilt ridden tendencies from religions have a very strong hold even if you've taken an agnostic stance after trying to be a good little Christian for so long.

My reason