When's the last time you had sex?

I'm literally fucking RIGHT NOW

Last month. Although I'm dating a new chick

I still care, but my exgf is dead now so whatever happens she won't have sex more than me.

You fuck your dead girlfriend? Youre a sick fuk!

About 2 weeks ago

Twelve days ago

July 8th 2016

She gave me herpes.

That's why you don't eat the pus pus.

12 days ago, seeing my gf today so gonna fuck all weekend.

Feb 2012, I was 18 yrs old with one month and 8 days. Nice age tolose virginity

Probably in my previous life...i hope at least..

>July

But I really don't care. Sex is great and all but it's just sex. I'm up for it but I really don't care.

tuesday...

>she won't have sex more than me.
life goals...

Yesterday. It was a quickie though. I had to go to work

A few days ago, but my gf just gave birth to our son. So it's only anal for now.

WHAT THE FUCK

faggots?

Like two months, but my streak is ending tonight thank god.

Sunday

25 sep 2015 around 10 a clock in the evening.

user here.

It's the best part. Something about my gfs sweaty hairy cünt makes me go mad. I love wilsmegma on my fingers and licking them afterwards. I also eat ass.

last wednesday

It's just as loose as when you let whole squad hit it right?

Last July, the day before I went to prison. Worst sex I've ever had as well

like a week ago
gf on the rag

I had a hand job last year I think?

You won! Good job man!

2 days ago

3 days ago

Does fucking my hand counts?

It's been 2 weeks now.

New Years 2015

H I V E M I N E D
I
V
E
M
I
N
D

Like 2 or 3 weeks ago I fucked this girl down the hall

4 months

Five years ago.

this morning

Yesterday

Right now

Last friday, today again yey

Not quite. Those two anons actually fucked each other. I watched from the closet, it was some pretty fucked up kinky shit.

Monday

Yesterday

About 2 month ago , I might get laid tonight tho

Yesterday

Monday

last night

20 years ago.... I'm almost a eternal wizard.

Never... Future wizard here

July 24th

Just over 2 years ago
That's a long dry spell

Two days ago. Would have done it yesterday but my gf was complaining her pussy was bothering her. It happens.

niggah...

4 months ago or some shit after the ex wife and I split up. I'm doubting I'll ever get any again. Went 2 years dry before I met her.

Isn't it lovely having no self-confidence, being introverted and having social anxiety? FML.

Yeah, but I actually had sex. A fucking lot. I have a pretty big dick, and am good at fucking.

I KNOW WHAT I LOST

I'm also oldfag with sexdrive of a teenager, when I don't work I jack off 4-5 times a day.

I's gonna be ok, I'm working on it

hey daddy :)

pics?

This morning with my butterface fuckbuddy.
She used to ask like once a month if we should make it a relationship but gave it up lately. Score.

2 months back

September 4th, 2016, Approx. 9AM. Great girl, clicked really well, too bad she was only in town for the weekend. I hope I see her again sometime.

She told me my penis was perfect.

august..

9 months before my birth.
Oh good times, I had friends back then.

Just over a week ago.

Mind you, I'm 59 and the wife is 60, so we don't do it as often as we used to

yesterday

lets see this "perfect penis"

about 2 1/2 years. Self imposed abstinence. I made far, far too many bad decisions involving women thanks to a serious sex addiction. After 130+ women, several STDs and two illegitimate children, I gave up the sex and drugs lifestyle.

I don't really regret it, I had one hell of a time, but towards the end there I had become so jaded that sex didn't really do it for me. Unless shit was getting real kinky, or there were multiple women involved, I would literally go limp. Bare backing some tight 20yo just wasn't enough sensation and I'd get soft. it was nearly impossible for a woman to get me off. it got to a point where I had so much sex, that a 8.5/10 girl could be sucking my dick, and I would have trouble even getting it up, because, oh look another blowjob... whatevs.

This turned into a serious porn addiction. mostly beastiality, going to meets to watch women have sex with their pets and then I would fuck them in front of their husband. the last time I did this I got the clap for the 4th and decided enough was enough.

>nice blog faggot

Wednesday

21 years ago

>implying

Just now

you probally just wanted a cut boy instead of a dirty female

Two weeks ago now she is busy with her husband family stuff hope to see her after may be a week or so .

Not quite in the mood to take dick pics, but it's just under 7' I believe. I think she meant it as it was perfect for her, which meant a lot to me.

Woke up to a beej at 3 am and then took a trip to poundtown

Literally 10 mins ago
>the missus prefers morning sex

2 Years ... Before that i had a gf for 9 years .. feels

Last night

Three weeks ago. Faithful truck driver. Shit sucks. Some days I wish I had less morals, some days I wanna kill my wife's mom so my wife doesn't have to take care of her worthless ass. Then I could take wife out here with me.

anal few months ago with ex gf

three hours ago. gf had a shitty shift so looks like im gonna have to pound her into sleep.

Nah, my old lady had a couple and shit is still tight.

Hopefully my past life. I'm on my way to become a wizard.

...

Boot

There was no last time.

Yesterday.

About a year and two months ago.

Last night. Felt great, blow job, vaginal sex and anal. I came in her asshole. Very satisfiying

march 2ed 2015 with my ex, blowjobs every weekend from virgin girlfriend though not terrible.

never

November 2015

Last night with wife, got to straddle and fuck her face, came down throat. S

8 years ago

About three weeks ago

Never.

Night before last

Few hours ago before work. Bent the wife over and she was super horny so she arced her back to make sure I could bury the dick deep when I nutted.

feltgoodman.

What a great year that was

About 5 hours ago.

2 days ago

Two days before the day after tomorrow.

Last night
First time I fucked my wife since our son was born. She had a c section though so the pussy was tight. Came on her ass.

Last November, though I'm not really missing it.

3 off the wrist everyday helps and I don't have to put up with other peoples bullshit

11 years, 4 months.

Before that, 3-4 times a day with my ex for 6 years straight.

Inbefore:
>It's the GOOGLES fault for stealing my wymin.

Tuesday

With my wife about 3years ago. With a gay friend about 3 months ago....

About ~12 hours ago, fucked my wife, came in her pussy, then fell asleep immediately.

yesterday, fucked that shit anal drunk as fuck

Why not in her pussy?

21 years old.
over a year ago

never. 30 yrs old. hugless friendless kissless. i should be dead already.

Never. 20 years old.

I can't remember. One week ago, maybe. But I'll have more monday.

Quickie on Wed.

Does having sex with your own hand count?

Never

Last night edged all evening looking at swingers sites - then fucked.

highlights include:
>eating her out while she tells me about losing her v-card
>fucking her with a whiskey bottle
>using a nipple clamp on her clit
>her pulling the condom off
>her shoving me back in raw
>cumming on her mound

Fucking boot

Never

you got aids m8 highlight of your life

Year and a half ago. God I need to get laid

>18
>still even haven't had my first kiss.

I'm getting worried Cred Forums

6 days ago but I helped my gf get fucked by our dog the other day

how is this even possible???

11 pm last night. Probably going to again after work. Feels good man

...

A year ago

February-ish

Damn, it's been a bit.

Nice trips tho fam.
You got that going for you at least.

I'm trying to get my wife to divorce me, so I moved to the couch six months ago and have refused to fuck her since March. Life is getting uncomfortable, anons.

2014

Last week

two weeks,

France....Springtime...1916....

couple of months. hate fucking my fat wife, and she sucks at sex. always has

couple weeks ago

she'll just get it from someone else. if she was gonna leave you she'd have done it already.

why do you want a divorce?

Does being born count?

Didn't... fml

are u fuking someone else?

yesterday or the day before, can't remember

Feb. Longest drought since like 2007. Passed up some opportunities, been buried in crazy life shit. Not bothered by it could fix it tonight if I was motivated.

I'm bored. Being married is boring. Maybe I just don't love her.

I'm starting to fear you're right. I've told her I lost interest and to go fuck somebody else, but she loves me. In all actuality, I'm as interested in sex as I've always been - just need her to initiate the divorce.

you sound like a bitch, goodjob playing with someones emotions and getting married

Wish my boyfriends cock was that big and thick

Making love with the butt.

Nope. But am fairly good looking, very personable, and would have no trouble getting laid at any bar/nightclub. But I'd lose my ass in a divorce if I cheated.

>just need her to initiate the divorce
why, do you make more money than she does or something? trying to prevent getting cleaned out in the divorce?

Been married for nearly 15 years. Sometimes things don't work out. I've given it more than a fair try. She's evolved into a homebody, and I still like living life.

with my hand, two threads ago

with a woman, it's been a month

virgin
have been trying for 8 years

like year ago had a 5 min interaction with a perfect 10 before I left thinking "her fucking bf is here soon"
as soon as i took my eyes off of her and left I realized there was no bf (looking at her fucked my brains up temporarily)
that it had just been her initial indication of disinterest "waitin for bf"
didn't turn back because felt i was too harsh with her and was not entirely sure whether the bf existed or not
she was excited, asking all these questions, and i just said "i gotta go" and left
feel like an idiot about it
think of it every day

this is my fucking record in this country...
street approaching a 10 and talking to her for few mins... best I have been able to do.

the main problem is thatthere's just fat cows here. not girls like her never.

One week ago

Yes. She does OK - about $80K and great benefits, but my income dwarfs hers.

8 months ago, hate sex with my ex

i received a BJ from a russian hooker in my hotelroom about a year ago... does that count?
Came over her titties

Nearly a week ago the day before my wife left on a business trip. We generally fuck every other day but she got sick and needed antibiotics, now the antibiotics have given her thrush. I'm not particularly bothered but she has a fairly high libido and it's driving her nuts that we haven't screwed in a couple of days.

About 10 minutes ago, GF is in the shower rinsing my cum out and im naked on her bed browsing Cred Forums with a cigarette and a beer

September 10th

A couple months ago. Wasnt all that great. She was boring. I might get laid tonight though. Im meeting up with this dumb bitch off of OKCupid

Any gays in scotland that can break my ass in good?

NYPA. Not even a good effort.

Monday

If you've been married for 15 years, then you know that it requires work, particularly compromise--and especially communication.

If you're bored, tell your wife. If she is a homebody, ask her to compromise and actually do something every once in a while.

For instance, my wife is the "go out and do stuff person" and I am the homebody. We rotate what we do on the weekends. One weekend we'll go out to the bar, go to a party, or see a movie and have dinner. Another weekend we'll sit at home, drink beer, and play tabletop games. Compromise.

Also, look into swinging, it is a lot of fun.

anything is possible except getting laid

Couple days ago

Things are going slower when you've been living together for almost a year lemme tell you that

That wasn't a personal army request

Two weeks ago. My GF got mad that I left shit on the dildo she used to peg me with. I told her that she could just wash it with the medical hand soap she has. Now she only wants me to fuck her from now on, no more of this anal shit.

Never.

>Never.

Why?

Never

Wow! Top shelf advice, user. It's like nobody has ever thought of this stuff before you. Swinging wouldn't be an option for her - just not her thing. Look, man, I've tried. She wants to stay glued to the couch while the kids sleep - that's not the life I desire. We'd both be happier apart, she just needs to come to grips with this fact.

talk to me in 5 bro. fuck.

Same. In September.

Just haven't yet, but seeing all these comments makes me wish I have

>Wow! Top shelf advice, user. It's like nobody has ever thought of this stuff before you.

I wasn't trying to be a dick, just trying to help.

If you've talked to her about it, and she won't change, then get a divorce ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4 1/2 years ago or thereabouts. Got the herpes. Fucking sucks. After that I started focusing on school and work but now it's been over a year since I graduated and got a better job and I'm basically ready to kill myself.

Oh well, got a brand new truck, motorcycle, and I just got back from snowboarding in new Zealand so the crushing lack of pussy is somewhat bearable. I should just give up and call a hookers but I'm afraid to get another std

Some time around March. I was walking through the city drunk and smoking. She asked for a cigarette, we walked and talked for an hour and eventually wound up back at hers. No luck since, having no friends doesn't help.

Always look on the bright side of l-life..

TUDU TUDU DUDU DUDU

Wednesday.

2 august
Next time will be 2-3 September

about 20 mins ago

Week ago been busy working so no time for now

Last week? Week before? I don't remember, I honestly have gotten to the point that if rather jerk off.

With wife - five days ago
With blow job buddy? 11 days ago (he cancelled this week)

July 5th, 2015

>I'm afraid to get another std
Wrap your fucking dick up you impulsive degenerate.

15 min ago. About to hop in the shower.

Blow job buddy? You're a fag?

>one night stand
>using a condom

for what purpose?

Ask your mom, she knows it

Am currently on the way to my private whore. Well, that worthless fuck pig is actually less than a whore, cause she doesn't want money. I plan to do some bdsm games with... just a bit harder than the last time 2 month ago.

Never.

Look out guys. Sherlock Holmes is browsing Cred Forums!

Photos you faggot.

all aboard the virgin train

You're not trying hard enough..

>I was walking through the city drunk and smoking. She asked for a cigarette, we walked and talked for an hour and eventually wound up back at hers.

This has literally never happened to anyone

That's gross.

on thursday. she put a finger up my ass for the first time. was interesting

eleven hours ago

2012-2013

Sherlock Holmes is gross? dafaq?

it's been years

Kek I remember my first time getting fingered. Did you get her back? I was 69ing with I think the 3rd girl I'd done it with and was drunk enough that I was like hey, there's her asshole, I'm fingering it. She started doing it to me too, wouldn't exactly say it felt bad but it was an odd feeling and we both stopped.

>catching AIDs from a woman

u wot m8??

So then kys

2 days ago

pics related too
it was my ex and i was fucking her again after a year. she said the guy she got with liked it and wanted to try it with me so i thought fuck it. felt really good. best orgasm i've had

Never had sex before

a couple months ago

rented a hooker

Twice an hour ago on my lunch break.

>This has literally never happened to anyone

That actually happens a lot.

Never and I'm 19 bois

sept 18th. i was just turning 18, that week so was pretty fun. not my first time tho. first time was a few months ago.

Two weeks ago. Frustrating as fuck

>Implying people have sex that casually

That and no guy could pull that off. Sex within 1 hour of meeting someone? Get the fuck out of here.

i've done that. happens loads at parties or in town man

I fuck everyday. Unlike you fags.

Go choke on some cock you gay mother fucking cunt sniffers. I'd slams your heads in the oven door and then start kicking you whole your down. Then, I'd cover your head with a plastic bag and watch you suffocate. Fuck you. Fuck you. FUCK YOU!

almost three years ago

Literally 30 minutes ago. Boyfriend wanted a go before I left for work

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

December of 2014

It happens man, it's not worth it through.

At least go for a date with her.

For yourself and your sanity.

feelsbadman

last month.

He left for pittsburg like a week later.

Did she go for the prostate? Also, wouldn't happen to have the sauce on that there gif by any chance?

yeah she did. im not really sure if she got it but it still felt great! yeah its the chick im on about and me

Start of the month the day my girlfriend and I broke up (it was planned, she was moving away) only just getting back in the mood to be honest. Its kinna nice being single and I suck at just fucking people and not getting involved.

Never, what are you guys fucking gay?

I simply disagree. If it happens it is only on the rarest of occasions with top tier chads.

Tbh, it was fucking my stepsister when I was 26 and knocking her up. She was 14 when we fucked.

2 years ago.

>feels

Enjoy prison, faggot.

it's happened to me three times and I'm buttass ugly.

the trick is to not have autism and to make your intentions known.

the deprivation of sex is making me so frustrated i literally want to crawl to a hole and die before spending the rest of my days like this

happened to me and im pretty average. just tall. bitches love tall guys

I had it happen to me twice in muh good days, never was top tier chad.

Both times I would say it was not worth it.

First it was awkward as fuck, she was cute but literally a dead body. Second time was better but it felt awkward after.

Thats why I say at least go for one date first.

Fyi mother and stepfather gave consent after.

Last night, but it was just boring marital sex. i don't think marital sex even counts.

Where do you live? I want to experience killing someone.

Never
Can't stand women but I'm not gay. It's just that every time one opens their fucking stupid mouth I want to put a bullet through my head. In 25 years I've never met a single woman who I could stand being around.

>That and no guy could pull that off.

subjective post is subjective

About a year ago, sucks ass but it's whatever man

>lying on the internet

Last night.

FYI, marital sex counts. Don't group us all up into one pile just because YOUR sex life is boring. I made her cum and fucked the shit out of her last night.

2 weeks ago
it was pretty bad and i didn't cum (was drunk)
the problem wasn't with her tho, i kinda fell for a girl i fucked about a month or so ago but she moved far away a few days later and i just can't get my mind off her.
hope i'll meet her in december again.

>I don't get laid and I browse Cred Forums therefore nobody on Cred Forums gets laid
wew lad

>posts on Cred Forums
>chad

choose one

Riiiight. (-:

Sometimes it's less than an hour.

Wednesday. We did it in pussy but she didn't came. So she asked for anal. I delivered. She came so much.
Delicious

who better to love Cred Forums than a chad?

On the exterior I am a beautiful, respected, and productive member of society. What better way to unwind than to come here and sate my deep down desire to be a complete degenerate?

You don't have to believe me. Women are all fucking terrible people when you get right down to it, and I'm not a slave to my cock enough to deal with their bullshit just for the opportunity to bust a nut.

why do people come on Cred Forums to lie like this?

never

I wouldn't say our sex life is "boring" per se. It's just that its always with the same person. I miss variety. Someday you'll see what it's like.

In my previous life I guess.

June 2015 and it was pathetic, with a skank too

God, my life is garbage

nope

>roleplaying this hard

41 years old and never. Society forced me to become gay but I can't even get a man interested.

Thought about going transgender but the surgery and loss of my penis scares me.

My parents go on vacation tomorrow and I think I'm gonna hang myself while they're gone.

Sorry, Cred Forumsro.

>Society forced me to become gay
elaborate

Monday.

08 or 09....

I've had two opportunities since then just... one was a fucking BPD 40 year old and the other was a baby hungry slut.

But I still woulda fucked em if I wasn't so out of shape, too out of shape to perform really.

15th august

Wednesday

early july. like the 2nd maybe

been like 2 months ago.

I understand that, man. My desire to fuck that pussy is much weaker compared to my despise for bullshit I have to deal with from whoever that pussy belongs to. I am not a redpill fag or a misogynist, but women VERY, VERY RARELY display any other qualities other than ass and titties and other sex related shit, it's almost like they want to be considered only good for sex and nothing else. Boring to talk to, can't play sports/games, no hobbies, friends of exact same characteristics...

that's no chance for you not having such a girl at home ... story is fucking true

This morning

Thanks for your concern, Cred Forumsro

July 3rd 2016

31 years ago when my mommy gave birth to me, my penis touched her vagina
does that count?

I was once drinking out with friends.
Some girls go by and my friend yells to a fat one: yo girl, wanna have sex?
- no, but my roommate might..
> sends friends' photo to her roommate
> roommate is into it, friend fucked her, slept there and fucked her in the morning

True story, when friend tells it, it's hilarious..

Pretty much. I've never met one who interested me enough to warrant spending any significant time around her, and god help me I've tried. It's like every modern woman thinks that the only thing she needs is her pussy, not to mention that they'll backstab you on impulse and you're totally fucked if they do.

you mean with human?

7 years ago

I don't need that "someday" shit. I know the feeling. None of that shit matters when you actually love your wife.

Someday you'll understand.

Pretty straight forward. I spent ~30 years chasing women with no luck. Tried being gay (I've never had sex so maybe I like gay sex?) and that didn't work either.

Society is so superficial it forces this. Maybe one day I'll meet a cute, innocent, virgin girl who can teach me what I've been missing, but I doubt it.

how you feel?

4 months ago. Sad but better than some.

Pic related.

last weekend. probably a while till the next time though

2 years ago with my at the time mistress

Couple hours ago

yup

Two weeks ago but not super proud of it

Back in 2012, i was 14. Now i have to lose the weight i gained because i couldn't do any sport since

18 months

October 30th, 2005, 2pm'ish

shit nigga, I'm banging your mom right now.

>faggot

It's been one week since she looked at me, cocked her head to the side and said "I'm angry"

Last night