18. no friends no family no love. social anxiety. I hack into lives of other people with RATs...

*had. As soon as i got 18 he left the family and after that the family began to break again

How often do you get laid?

never. Ive never been drunk or visited a party because of my anxiety. Whenever i feel like shit i take xanax

Are you a girl?

dont take it.

well try drinking before you go out
and delete your porn folder

no

What kind of drugs do you use?

what is rats

its all i have left in my life. And i dont go out in the first place

Ballin', faggot.

do you have any better ideas?

xanax, weed. Thought of using LSD because people said it removes social anxiety but on other places you hear that it amplifies psychotic behaviour

Holy fuck

You sound like me at 14.

Start lifting everyday, stop ratting because you're 18 now and that illegal af. Delete ya porn and get a job

Upload your folder in dropbox

Swiss army knife in hacking. Takes zero experience but if you cant code a crypter yourself you wont infect real people with it

describe the porn. faggot.

Not trying to be edgy but it consumes me. Everytime i wake up and see this i get reminded what a giant pile of degeneracy i am.

Lmao then kill yourself you gay faggot.

kys

job and going lifting
> i cant even go shopping because i feel like people stare at me and read my mind

...

I have written it down in my digital diary:

I had a friend when i was like 11 or something who i knew since kindergarden and i guess you could call us pretty good friends. We usally met to play Call of Duty and that similar stuff you consider cool that age. One day, dont ask me how, we jokingly argued who had the bigger dick and it ended up in each other comparing. However, i didnt know to what this would lead... As i said we used to play CoD and such and he never used let me play after that, demanding to take out my dick so I could play. At this age i didnt see the problem and so I did it. As i continued being submissive to his demands he asked more and more. He jacked me but I never came past precum and I think he couldnt jerk off at this age either but you could tell he really enjoyed that. Even though I always was kinda resistant and he was the one "forcing" it, i never had to actually jack him off and he continued to do things like sucking me off, playing with my balls and humping me with clothes on and even though i found it "gay and therfore bad" as usual for this age i let him do everything just to play Black Ops...

wow. yous the definition of a beta faggot.

Are you fat and unattractive? You need to delete that mindset. Again, me at 14. Get over it no one is looking at you or thinking about you at all ever.

How do you look like? Are you ugly ?

nice quads. I actually take care of myself and been told by my abusive friend that i am looking like a "twink", but i am extremely awkward and shy. I have zero motivation to do anything.I dont know how you took the energy to change,but i would appreciate advice

...

You dont need to project your inner conflicts on me

What do you think that affect you the most? No sex or no friends?

I remember being 14 and watching never back down, realizing I was overweight, shy, a pussy, someone who just phishes and rats all day and I literally deleted my c:/, stopped talking to my few internet friends and started working out at home. Got a job at a restaurant as a busser, few years later I'm the Gen Mgr and had gotten over everything I was afraid of

No friends definately. In my view you can always buy sex but not friends. But atleast i have my Cred Forumsros

read again what i wrote. live with it. then, preferably, kill yourself.

You cant compare our situations. While you were in your "phase" you were unaware of what you made yourself until you had this realization but i know that i am destroying myself and i cant help myself. I have issues with social anxiety and you with a lack of self-reflection as i see it.

i know a few people who committed suicide and it was honestly the best thing for them. life on the other side will be much better for you.

But you'll never be able to buy a girl's desire to have sex with you. It's different from paying for sex

Seriously you can use that as an excuse or whatever you want but no, I didn't know what I was doing. I just fucking grinded until I was out of my situation. Through all that, parents divorced, moved states, homeless shelters, i still pushed through. You gotta start now or 10 yrs are going to pass you by and youll realize no one told you to start or do anything.
>pink floyd
>dark side of the moon
Listen to the damn album and quit being a bitch

I hate myself how can i expect someone else to love me. And i dont even like girls that much...

What do you do with the people you rat? What's the point.. Should I start ratting and we become ratting buddies?

Well you know, two things could happen to your life. Maybe you'll pass over it with the years, maybe it will be the same until you die. Are you prepared to live both situations?

I invade their lifes and steal their porn basically. I infect them by letting them download my porn folder which i infected and so i always get to spy on people which are a bit like me. I feel like its very interesting thats all. Once i blackmailed someone but i dont do it for the sake of money. And i advise you to not start ratting, because again, if you dont know how to code and obfuscate your shit you wont get anything out of this, but if you really want to be my buddy give me an email or something

Not OP, want to know too

Well if you like porn you like girls or boys, or maybe traps...

From where come this people wanting your porn folder?

love and wanting to put your dick in something are different things

Cred Forums

Get a job and pretend like you're normal. The thoughts will subside after daily interaction with others. You WILL say and do dumb things. Learn from those things and do not dwell on them. Keep moving to tge next, don't stay idle.

just go exercise. dont think about it, just do it. it will solve all your problems. Trust me.

Do people even execute .exe from Cred Forums users? What does a infected file looks like? A zip? exe? mp4?

what kind of job? I dont want any Cringe PTSD so does something i can do alone count too?

Where are you from?

>18
fucking pussy
wait another 10 years and make the thread again
god damned faggot

I make a folder called gay furry comics and in there there are .cbr files. You need to download a comic viewer for that and i include my virus in there as the "comic viewer". Once people execute it it says "no x-64 based executable" in a nutshell along with error codes and such and yeah thats how it goes

What can you do alone?

Germany

you mean going to a gym? People will stare at me and judge and school mates will also be there and laugh if i do the exercises wrong. And i look like a fucking vampire because of my skin i wont fit in at all

carrying out newspaper maybe?

Do you have programming skills? Why not be a programmer professionally?

yeah wagecuck life sitting 24/7 infront of a computer and then coming home to sit on a computer again sounds fun

If you're deadset on not interacting with people( i recommend interaction, its how i got over my social retardedness), you can try translation jobs if you're multilingual. If you have other skills, you can go online to freelancer or upwork and try to get some gigs there.

Have you made experiences in that area?

>sit 24/7 in front of computer
>sit 24/7 in front of computer, but get paid for some of it

Tough call

Yes. Don't take a job there without some form of milestone. You'll learn about that when you check it out.

This. in both cases you'll be in front a computer... but working you'll interact with people, get rewarded by your job, and prepare your future.

Life isnt something you rate

See a psychiatrist. Get on some benzos (which you already take) and an antidepressant to lift you out of this. Listen to the guy who suggested working out, it helps serotonin and dopamine production as well as releasing endorphins. Plus you don't have to leave your house for that one. Personally I suffer from social phobia and panic disorder, I can relate to alot of what you're saying. But it doesn't have to be that way for the rest of your life.

OP, where do you prefer to stick your dick in?

Op how did you get into using rats? I have been meaning to get into that hacker spy shit to get nudes of my friends sister for ages now but my pc skills pretty much end at modding skyrim and some very basic skimming through tor sites.

my hand. If i wouldnt have social anxiety probably boypussy

...

somehow i feel like taking even more drugs wont solve my problems, you still have the same issues like before, isnt that so?

Don't take if you have internal conflict

I know spying and rats are fascinating but you need to start at a more basic level. Read The Basics of Hacking and Penetration by Patrick Engebretson, go to forums and make experiences in a VM environment. You get the most success though if you have a buddy who has done all this before

isnt that the cause of social anxiety? seems very controversial

Well, I'm pretty sure that you can find some boys to mess around and stick your dick in... the same way you do the phishing for RATs.

where would i search for that? Ive tried craigslist but there are only desperate people on there

You are at faggit, microwave the hardrive and get a fugging job google.
Also

Great, now use your hacking skills to do some damage. The foundings of a New Society are near.

It's a strange drug. It's like the christian god, "it works in mysterious ways"

You disgust me, I thought it was cheese pizza but this is even worse

why would i do damage? Would only trouble me more

arent there weaker drugs with similar effects that are less dangerous?

wrong (You)

Tinder?

I was the one about the god and it does work in mysterious ways. Tell me how it doesn't

torrent and seed pls

Not OP but my soul is fucked up. I'm crying right now. Is it a social experiment I'm living in? The world is ruining my life to see how far it can change a persone inside? OK YOU WON. I'm so weak I just need love. Just give it to me. Nothing matters anymore. I'm just futile with anybody that cares about me. I'm completely alone. Ok what did you get world? I'm seeking love online see? I'm on online dating sites you see? I'm so fucked up. I would change myself completely, I don't care about myself anymore, I'd be another person if I could. JUST GIVE ME SOME AFFECTION. I don't feel anything near to "good" for years by now. Ok you got me world, You destroyed me. Are you happy now? Are you fuckin happy? Just give me my real life and end this fuckin lie of life of mine.

are you ugly?

Want a hug bro?

...I don't think I'm ugly

definitely need one

You look decent I guess. Definitely lose the mustache or grow it out depending on the look you're going for. Never in between.

you look good, a bit nu-male tho. What is it that bothers you? What do people think of you?

OP did you tried tinder?

what if people i know are on there and see that i am gay?

Post some jinx

Simply don't put there that you're gay, simply check the options to only see boys and wait for a match. Only boys that like boys will see you.... I've used it and never been able to tell if a guy is into girls or boys. I like girls btw,

...

Look at this reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/46l4qx/gay_tinder_is_10x_better_than_straight_tinder/

Special porn?

It'll be worse when you're older. Just kill yourself now.

...

How is it like to be attracted by a drawing? Do you imagine it alive with you?

not at all. I dont live in an ilusionary world. Altough there is quite a bit anime porn in there i absoloutely cringe when i actually watch them. Its more of an obsession