What does your last message from a person of the opposite sex say?

Goodnight my love [TWO HEART EMOJIS]

i wouldnt let that bitch talk to me like that. id tell her it doesnt matter how big my dick is. anything is gonna look small next to that fucking thing on her face.

don't ever talk to me or my son again

"Okay, we'll discuss that later :D I gotta help mom rake the leaves in the yeard now"

Dicklett detected

Jesus don't you cucka have something better to do with your time.

Would you have a few minutes today to talk about tree view?

>never responded, she gives a killer bj but she uses me as a crutch for programming advice.

Honestly, I think we'd be better off as just friends

I'm curious

I wonder if you can go pick it up to the reception they said to open till 5:15pm

More of her pls

...

what did she say though?

"should I get a stuffed crust or a meat lovers pizza?"

My wife grocery shopping.

"I'm walking home, very soon I'll see my cats :* :* :*"

meat lovers faggot. Stuffed crust is the pizza equivalent of Florida

...

Same girl?

Nigger

"7GPO42636110431
RIVERPORT INN/MN CITY
1330
FRAZER/968340 & WILLIAMS
470-23"

Work related message from my dispatcher

Very well, then next week I'll visit you, you buy dinner and you tell me about it

disclaimer: I've fucked this girl plenty of times, I'm just scheduling a booty call for my birthday

R u up ?

if she fixes that acne problem. Shes tits mcgee until then

"Contact my daughter again and I will contact the police. You will hear from our lawyer shortly."

"okay, are you sure?"

"Put clothes in the drier pleasr"
That's exactly what it said, it's from my girlfriend. She is the worst when it comes to grammar...

is your mom half nigger? What 50 year old woman doesn't type out full sentences and sign her name at the end of texts?

nope sorry binkly

New Updated 2016 Tor/Deepweb Links!
>>Enjoy!

A lot of parents use that lingo

Hey user, can you come in at 4:30 on Thursday Sep. 29 for your wage review?

"No me and euphoric Mitch"

>you have to buy her dinner
>for your birthday
B E T A

"ok"

"It takes longer one handed"

"if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep"

"I'm sorry you had to see that"

die of cancer

Sounds good! Just reaching (location) now.

>we should do this again soon!

Ohhhhhh

Shes 40 and thank god she's not a nigger

>we are out of weed

Sucks living in a new city with only one hookup :(

"like 6 hours away"

go to weeb

"fuck off"

"How long till you're here?"
But I was already there :^)

Ich liebe dich)) Du bist nicht nur sexy und süß, sondern auch klug))

Heyyyy

Never responded. Girl is terrible conversation over texts. Almost just as bad in person. But she's hot.

"I'll pray for you."

Wahrscheinlich Pets... Aber ich finde Bad Moms interessanter
Aber ich geh wahrscheinlich nicht mit.... Wir sehen uns ja am Sonntag nur bis 14 ubr

>Ubi, zakolji da siptar ne postoji
Serbs

Im a danger noodle

That's what makes her good. Sexy body but a face that leaves her pussy untouched by men

"they dont have fingers"
we were talking about cats and dogs if they can finger paint

"Message me one more time and I will call the police! "

"Sorry"

Im HIV positive you should get yourself checked

Quads and I post my crush being lewd

"So you're coming over right? ;)"

Got me!

"Pokemongo and chill? I want to try and fit your whole cock in [my mouth] this time"

Quit throwing up meatballs on my doll house

Pics?

her birthday was last week and I didn't give her shit so it's her birthday present or some shit...

either way, buying dinner to get my dick sucked seem like a good trade

3gs for 40 points right ?

Nigger, you are sadly mistaken here. Even good looking guys go after fucking manatees. Not all but it happens frequently. All any woman under 220 lbs has to do to get dicked is to just exist. She could pull dick all times of every day. I promise you that.

yeah, nigger parents. Wanna know how white and old my mom is? She doesn't even have a cell phone

"My lunch was weird."

Promise you won't tell anyone from work.

Tomorrow ill wear a skirt so you can enjoy yourself >winky face with tounge out

DAT QUADS

Not yet

Quads

"They want me to come in to cover her shift, but I already told them I had plans with you"

pic related

"We need a break"

"Well no shower as I'm not a 6ft Amazon lol x"

Yeah, I know the lol is lame but hey, she's a female it's what they do. And as she's a milf who satisfies all my fetishes, I'll take it.

"Sweet sounds good :)"
When I told her about the upcoming dnd session.

You didn't have to leave... I got your sweater here. Speak to me please.. [tear emoji]

My Ex's sister.

Quads were hit

...

what is that iconx3 at the top of your phone?

Order a pizza user, and ask the delivery guy if he knows anyone. More more times than not, but still not 100%

What you mean

damn i wish this chick made fun of my 3.5 inches (erect)

move to a state with legal. Fuck I love Seattle. I can literally buy fucking soup with weed in it right now for lunch.

"After tonight. We are strictly on a once a week drinking plan. Only on Saturday nights. I also want a weight loss plan for both of us. I want you to really watch your carb and sugar intake and I want your A1C down to at least 7."

Me and my wife are trying to kick Alcoholism, quit smoking and eat better all at once. Also, trying to be a better diabetic.

>inb4 LOL U ATE YOURSELF TO BEETUZZ

That's not how Type 1 works.

"Arba pasislėpk sandėly ir pailsėk"

"I don't understand why you need some (condoms) on you when you said I was the only one you were fucking?"

"Hurry up I have to pee" -GF

I was takin a shit

"ik heb ook veel dingen die ik prima zelf kan ^^"

what. is. the. icon. on. the. top. of. your. phone. There. are. 3. of. the. same. one.

Looks like a bear. No idea what the app could be, I'm kinda curious as well

Sounds like you might be taking too much on. But good luck user. Hope you make it.

"hehehe"

"Don't be a cunt. Quit the shitposting and clean before I get home please"

"Okay. Call me when you're coming this way"

"Bahahahh! Okay. Tonight's the getting fucked up night. Tomorrow's the serious thing."

Pic related

Vito. Positiivinen.

Im a mtf, but i dont speak to any bois
Wat do?

"I've been waiting for it to come on netflix but they still only have to season 10"

Good luck user! I believe in you! Focus on the alcoholism.

Here's a hint.

"Dont even talk to me ever again"

PS Do you have a pic of her?

I don't want you to feel like you have to

And I hope you have a great day too sweetie pie I love you so much

"I have huge crush on him"

Shave balls

tired woke up at 12 today feeling great:)

No

betterr than tinder! plenty of horny girls of your city on dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/t5dvcdgvh5u7ny0/changirlz.html

"Thanks"

Caramba! Where are you?

K

I do agree that I did used to, and that you saw it and you saw a lot of things that I don't like about myself that other people don't see

But you have changed a lot and I hope I have too for the better

You should ask me the question again

"I'm so jealous" re: me hanging out with this cool dude

"(user), I need your help, it's urgent

Please bring me toilet roll now" while in the same house and then about 20 messages where said person spammed me with random letter combinations in the hope that I'd check my phone

And I know I'm pretty great too

Fuck, I'm jealous user. That is one cool dude.

"I'll see you soon sweet lady:)"

"Ok"

CANE CORSO????

"Ok" - Mom

better than tinder! a lot of horny girls of your city on dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/t5dvcdgvh5u7ny0/changirlz.html

"That looks nice :)"

>my mom

"sounds great but idk if I can, I'll tell you later"

In short.." do you want to move our realtonship further than friendly or you want to go after someone else and reject me like i rejected you before?" inb4 op is not faggot..just wasn't ready for a relationship

Dump her. She sounds like a bitch.

Do you want to work 5-10 tonight? Taylor called off. I'm closing

"Yeah I highly doubt that"

So when do I get to ride you again?

"I can try."

After asking her if she can teach me how to play violin

Its cheetah browser

"Goodnight love you"

Y'all have some fucking issues.

"I almost called you daddy last night"

what the fuck did you just fucking say to me you little bitch.... Ect.

"Is it big?"

Spoiler: Yes, the house is big

Saucy

"Piss off and play your game, i'll talk to you in a bit x"

"good morning! hope you have a great day at work, I love you."

Shut up Zhaia

"You made your choice and im never letting you make me feel like that again. I wish you all the best."

fucking feels bad man. love her to death too.

...

ok

"I'm sure you'll meet some cool people soon enough and make friends"

"Thats always special for me"

...

goodnight xx

Es hieß doch "wie ein schwamm"

girls dont say "cock"
only traps and porn whores

And considering your whole projections, she's a single mother and your father was some half cooked mexican who gifted you his skin color

gn8

"good night. I love you" - girlfriend

"Alright"

Thing it will be cold come december?

"Haha ok"

"What's so wrong with elephantiasis like nigro?" No clue what she meant by this.

>"You know id love for you to answer your phone"

>I can't keep doing this

rip my relationship

"Ahs, now"
Ahs = american horror story

I went through the same thing except she's completely dependent on me and keeps coming back to me for whatever reason.

your boos?

When you begin hating everything is the moment you are healing most. Godspeed user

"You need to check in at the clinic"

Please put the wine in the fridge.

"yeah pizza is pretty good lol"

fuck, underrated. that feel is a feel I know all too well, user. Godspeed

"she really needs help"

cool dude, user

What is your choise?

Your mom?

>Oh well. There's POF

>I'll be over in 10

"No one gives a shit about your new bra Sarah"

i love you tell me how it was

we feel with you kamerad

"I don't think we should do this anymore user, she might find out"

Dat was hem alweer. Veel plezier!

"I tried frantically waving haha"

"I'll be right there"

>made it home safe and sound! I won! I am alright

From this chick I just started dating

have a great evening :) xxxxxx

it was just a selfie no text

best one

"Spend more time with me or I'm breaking up with you"

"Goodnight, I love you. I'll see you tomorrow at 1"

thats not love, thats convenience

Where are you?

"goodbye pepe"
pepe = peepee = my dick, she's a normie

>What else should I bring if I sleepover tonight?

dinner is ready
- mom

Who knows anything anymore

"faggot"
I wish I was making this up

...

>will you let me see my parents ever again?