On a lonely walk tonight. Alone, poor, without opportunities or chancea for better tommorow

On a lonely walk tonight. Alone, poor, without opportunities or chancea for better tommorow.

Should I an hero? Its a thought for tonight.

>Pic related

dutch fag?

No. I never understood the thought of just ending it all in one go. Fucking do something bro! Set a goal to walk to Africa or whatever, some challenge. Worst case: you die trying, (oh, well) Best case: you get a new perspective and set up new goals. Just my take on it.

No. Poland.

I have a long walk ahead.

Its not an american dream here bro. I just cant do that... No money.

I'll be 25 soon, summing up my life. And the perspective in my eyes is strongly negative.

it's so beautiful

dzwoń po kumpli i wiśta w tango

Poland is EU. Buy a train ticket, go to wherever the fuck you want, start over.

Leasing to a park, so kinda nice. I run here, like that place.

No one everywhere.

Not for me either. I have dealt with depression my entire adult life. I'm 31 now. At my lowest point I decided to steal an old (don't know the word in English) but a "manual boat with paddles", and try to cross the ocean. Didn't work. Got picked up 2 days later by the coastguard, but just that gave a somewhat new perspective. Instead of looking for an easy way out, look for a challenge! Things get better eventually, believe it or not.

On the boulevard of broken dreams

Dlaczego mnie zrownujesz z patologia dla której życie to woda i wista wio całe życie?

Yeah, and become homeless? I work full time stare job as municipal Police guard, earning 340 euro a month. How far will I go?

I barley graduated highschool 2 years late. Was to damned lazy and irresponsible. I dropped out of College after 3 years. I was forced out of the military. I have failed at almost everything I do, and im in constant discomfort and pain from injuries and migraines. Despite all this, at 36 I got a job as a DOD contractor coding for the Air Force, and finally asked my finace to marry me. I make 2x her salary, and she is a registered nurse. Go take some psychedelics, they will give you perspective and inspiration.

34 here, very much dysthymic. Kinda gotten comfortable with the fact that it's just how I am. I'll never have the dynamic inner life other people have, at the same time I'll never have to deal with their ups and downs. Kids+wife helps make stuff seem worthwhile.

You know, sometimes I just dream about leaving everything behind and just going somewhere... Like a homeless, because how the hell can I earn money that way? Life is not beautiful, I feel like tragic charakter in a play.

Somehow yeah.

I fucking love walking.

Thought about going to paychologist, havent found good one yet plus no money for a good one. Love this country...

I worry that my english isnt good enought to understand that correctly... Sorry.

nie zrownuje cie z patologia. chodzilo mi bardziej o to zebys mogl miec teraz towarzystwo dla ciebie odpowiednie z ktorym moglbys spedzic na luzie czas. chociaz o tej godzinie o to trudno

Give it a shot! When you feel like nothing matters, there is nothing to loose. Fuck money, apartment, whatever. I'm gonna die real soon anyway, right? That's the way I thought. Still, someone always intervened when it all seemed hopeless. I'm being repetitive now, but really, shit changes bro! If you hang in there long enough, you'll see. This thoughts may always haunt you, but when you find your girl and perhaps a couple of kids, you live for them. Just my 2 cents.

Alkohol mnie nie bawi, rzadko chodze na jakies piwo. Pewnie byłoby inaczej jakby nie wszystko dookola. A chwilowe zanegowanie problemów nie sprawi że znikną lub znajde rozwiązanie. Wręcz przeciwnie anonie.

at least you got no niggers or other shitskins in your country

I do not condone the killing of ones self

Become a chef.

This

Psychedelics, like mushrooms, lsd, or DMT. You have to know your self, psychedelics help with that.

Two questions
1) Is it the 24th there?
2) What are your chances of getting jumped by a nigger on those streets?

Got a fiancee already, living with her. How am I supposed to leave her? Only I work now and 340 euro a month is everything we got. Also, I feel like a failure, cant even guarantee a normal life.

I know what you mean, would do that if I had no gf, no rented flat... Really.

>Hi Cred Forums, pic related

When will people realize that life is a one time gift? And then it's all over a fucking black blank screen to stare at for all eternity.

11pm. No niggers. Weekend so only drunken slavs.

go to germany...

So you have a job.

Maybe the problem is one of perspective.

What you probably think:
Everyone else has better jobs, making more money, having a happier time, doing better things, going better places.

Reality:
Almost everyone hates their job, even if it pays well. The more they have the more they spend to be just as unhappy as you. They have a bigger house and do nothing in it. They have a nice car that they worry about scratching and they don't go anywhere special in. Maybe they have a pretty wife but they settled for each other out of loneliness and not because they were right for each other. Many of them will end up in a divorce.

So what is this better tomorrow?

I think you just have to learn to appreciate the small things, because whether you are rich or poor, it is mostly small things. It seems nice to appreciate a brand new BMW but to the BMW owner after the new wears off it's just another car, and the small things he really appreciates are going to be more universal -- a favorite food, a favorite music, a favorite place, maybe a friend or two if he is lucky. These things don't require riches.

And for our ancestors that's just how it was.

I think the internet puts sparkles in people's eyes and makes them think there is so much more and the world is so much better somewhere else for someone else but I think this is not true. It is mostly the same. The houses and cars can get bigger and there can be more stuff but the small things that can make a life feel worthwhile are more universal.

Keep an eye out for those small things and don't get blinded by mirages from the internet.

Ok. That's probably not as bad as American niggers

Probably....

odpowiedni ludzie sprawia ze problemy znikna. jezeli nie masz nikogo takiego z kim moglbys porozmawiac to wspolczuje. bede sie modlil abys mial lepsza sytuacje w zyciu i zebys znalazl odpowiednich ludzi

Then live for her man! She knows you're doing your best. Talk to her even. When someone loves you they'll listen and help you. It's good you have a fiancee. Responsibility is what keeps most of us in check. When my gf got pregnant 2 years ago, the thought about "me me me, how shitty my life is ect" went out the door. Just hang in there! Trust me. Gotta go now, but I hope you think this all over. Have a good one bro!

if you kill yourself tonight how are you gonna know who wins the football game tomorrow?

Don't an hero OP. Life isn't as shitty as you'd think. Do something drastic and change your life. Start over, learn how to bake or some shit. Start gardening or doing some random skill or talent. You'd be surprised how much your life changes when you find something new that you didn't know you had a passion for. I was recently dumped by a girl I loved more than anything, and I thought about being an hero too but I realized there is too much shit in this world to do or see to back out now. I'm gonna go to film school soon, and the people there were telling me of a guy in your situation who left his job and took a risk to follow what he wanted to do in film and found new purpose. Fight this depression OP. Don't act like you are the leader of a tragedy play, act like you are the main character in a classic Stallone movie. Where you start off a loser but make some shit of yourself. Good luck man, don't end your life, you are younge and have a lot more promise then you'd think.

I wish I could be financially free. No need to work, just developing myself, learning, doing something good for people, somehow changing world for a better place.

I do.not want brand new car or big house. Really.

But if you are right... Everything I want ia useless and I should just shoot myself?

Yes, I have a job. I want to work hard, learn, contribute to society. But I have polish citizenship co I cant even go to usa to look for a better life. They prefer niggers and all idiota who want to live from social benefits and all that. Like in wester europe.

And my taxes pay for that. Fucked up world.

ROPNY!

Thanks guys. You are fucking good people.

In last days I triend to start learning coding, did some html, css and javascript tutorials and ended up today being frustrated because I really think I am not able to do that good. Plus I am 25, there are 13yo better at this. How can I comopare myself? Tried mamy things but never found anything really for me that would get me.

In my life I am proud of just one thing. And thats all. I am proud i dropped from 122kg to 93 now only because of my will and running.

I do not have money to do mamy things I would like to try. I feel like I am never going to achieve greatness in anything. I do not remember when I was laughing last time.

And yes, I envy other people often. I fucked up my life. Didnt finish good school etc. Now that roada are closed.

Also OP if you really want to move somwhere promising, come to Canada. As a Canada fag I can say we have a lot of lax immigration shit here and especially in my city, there are a lot of polish workers.

Take a shit on someone's doorstep lmao

if u an hero you will hurt more ppl than you think my dude, the future is there just wait for life to give you something and make the best of it

Actually if you really want to move to America, look into the Diversity Visa. Diversity is by country, not by race. I know some Bulgarians who got in this way. Easiest way to get in if you happen to win (i.e., if not too many other Polish people are doing the same thing). I'd get married first though, as that will make it a whole lot easier to bring her along.

But,
>financially free

lol, no.

Everyone wants that. Almost nobody has it. That's a pipe dream.

Whether life is useless or not is more of a religious question. That's why I say you have to learn to appreciate and enjoy the small things. That's what I do. I make a lot more money than you do but the things that actually make me happy -- that really make it worth getting up in the morning for -- are cheap or free.

Plus you never know what opportunities the future holds.

How? I cant just abandon my fiancee... Plus I have literally no usefull skills in modern times - fucked up education.

I have masters degree and its worth less than toilet paper.

I will be dead so I wont care.

OP that's a mistake in your life right there man. Don't compare yourself to other people. It doesn't matter if you are worse then the next person, if you enjoy doing that shit then keep with it man there will always be someone better and worse than you.

Also you are still younge, you have a fuck ton of years left in you. Time to learn and grow, shit you could find a lottery ticket in a year and be a rich millionaire. You have no idea the possibilities. Trust me I am someone who has dealt with depression many times. It is so easy to see the world boxed around you and assume you have no hope but you have hope trust me. No matter how grim things look, they will get better. What really worked for me is I listened to a lot of motivational videos, like Joe Rogan, and that really help boost my confidence.

Pieprzysz bez sensu.

Coding:

In my opinion, learn Java and write Android apps. Start with a beginners Android book, latest edition you can find. Even if other apps that do the same thing already exist, write your own. Your own alarm clock program. Your own calculator. Your own note keeper. Whatever you can think of. Put it on the market. It's at least possible that this can turn into resume material. Smaller companies just want to hire people who can do the work so if you can show you have stuff on the app market and can code and support it, they may give you a shot.

Or you may just find you hate coding. Eh. It's not for everyone but that's how I'd go about trying it these days.

SIXTY NIGGERS!!

Dickhead

Who says you have to abandon your Fiancé? Talk to her about moving, thst you feel trapped. She might even agree you don't know. Plus in Canada you have tons of opportunity for schooling and getting jobs without much experience. They love hiring foreigners here because it makes them look good.

This is touching tho you obviously love your fiancé a lot. She must be a good girl. She's lucky, not many girls have such caring guys in their life. If you need any motivation, look to her face and tell yourself to keep trying for her.

Za każdym razem jak dopada mnie depresja to szukam sobie innych problemów, zmieniam otoczenie prace albo głupie hobby. Trzymaj się ramy to się nie posramy. Pozdro

So make your own suggestion, negro.

Bottom line, if you want to start a possible career in coding without a degree, that's possible, but you need to work up a portfolio of real, published material.

You could do that with an iPhone but then you have to learn Apple's shitty proprietary language that only they use, and then get denied when trying to publish on their app store. Android has no barriers and Java is a widely used language.

Could try to go with web but you'll have to get some small time clients to take a chance at hiring you to code it, maybe through a site like UpWork, but I feel like that's a lot harder.

Could try and make and release games but the bar for that is pretty high.

Java + Android. Best route today.

I like that. Even simple things I did and seen results on screen. But on javascript simple loops defeated me - I do not get it. Cant visualize it, understand...

I guess it seems I am still young for you all but no for myself. I would also say that to some 20yo guy. But on my eyes, you know. I think I sound Stupid now. Do not feel good. Sorry guys.

Dickhead fuck you

She is studying nursing now, she has to finish it, she loves it. So, few years ahead here... And after that she will earn more than me - thats killing me too.

I love her, try my best, but we couldnt even ride anywhere whole year because we had no money... And other people and her friends were there and there and there... How do you think I feel?

Życie w Polsce to nie życie, no może z 10% faktucznie żyje a nie egzystuje.

Don't apologize dude. I get it, I hope you get what I am saying tho, you know I would hate to see a dude like you with a whole life ahead of him just end it. You have hope even if you can't see it. You lost that weight, and guess what? That just proves you have a stronger will then most fags in America or Canada. Life's got you beat down right now man, and there's a lot of things I could say. But the only thing that matters in the end is if you decide to get back on the horse and take life by the reins, or give up and let it defeat you. You are a winner mate, make the right choice here. You can do it. You just have to start telling yourself you can.

I'm American and I didn't understand it either...

thats stupid to say, "ill be dead so i wont care" what about your fiance or your mom? your friends? me? thats so stupid to say. yes you wont care but do you really want to leave others feeling like crap?

You are comparing yourself to other people again OP. You can't do that shit. That's part of The reason you are in this funk. You love her right? This girl is ever Thing to you right? Well I have a good bet that she loves you just the same. And it doesn't matter how much you make, this girls gonna support your ass and try and see you happy. Don't be mad that she makes more, be happy for her and find something else to put that negative energy into. Draw, try music of any kind. Dance or sing or what ever. From what I see, you have a whole lot of negative energy in your life, and you need to place that shit somewhere more constructive.

NIGGERS!

Belgium

It would be my decision, so why should they blame themselves etc.?

I am not a winner. I have no idea what to say. I am fucking tired now of walking around and crying. Wish I wont wake up tommorow.

Do.yoy guys have emails or something like that to eventually keep contact with me? Its ok if you dont want. But I like you guys, you are really really nice.

because naturally they will say "if i did this he would still be here" or etc.
if they wouldnht blame themselves they would hate that you left

Hey OP, polenigger here too

I used to enjoy night walks too, then i got raging tinnitus (constant loud ringing in ears), can't enjoy silence anymore. You don't how awesome things are, untill you loose possibilities to do them. Please, enjoy the walk for us both.

If your gf studies nursery, I don't think she'll be able to earn a lot more than you.

btw, what were you studying?

Akurat tutaj się zgodzę ostatni miesiąc spędziłem na ogórkach szklarniowych w holandi. Na zimę też wyjeżdżam za granicę. Ja jestem na level hard bo mieszkam na wsi, same buraki i kartofle. Życie to wzloty i upadki jak jest dobrze to potem będzie chujowo i tak w kółko. Jak jest aż tak źle to rób swoje bo później będzie tylko lepiej.

Yea sure you got a kick OP? Mines
Jamesman301 here if you ever wanna talk mate

Sporty pedagogics , specialization of himan reclamation (resoxialization) - got shitty masters in that.

Yeah, she will definitely if we move out. Plus now I make 1400zl net a month, yeah, afyer a promotion and a raise. People think that we earn well in municipal Police - thats bullshit.

Where are you from? Sosnowiec reporting in.

I enjoyed it, heading Home now. Need to sleep and think.

Yeah, she loves me. But I cant just tell here all these things that I am not happy and do not want to live really. She has enough of her problem and I have to be for here.

Wyjechał bym już dawno gdybym był sam. W sumie Sosnowiec to jak wieś teraz więc Cie rozumiem po części.