On a sąd and lonely walk again today. Who is going with me?

On a sąd and lonely walk again today. Who is going with me?

Generał feels thread.

>Pic related

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HERE ME!

...

bump

Stare at the stars, eat a sandwich

Anyone got something to get their chest??

*off

where is this? Looks like Netherlands or Belgium

Whats up op why are you sad ?

I am glad you are here with me.

Why are we here? Why cant we enjoy life?

the duality of man

10 bucks says OP kills himself after the thread 404's.

what'd dragging you down?

What is wrong OP?

Yeah...issues with my soulmate.
Every fight lately, ravages my anterior cingulate cortex that runs rhythmic blitzkriegs on my vagus nerve with sooooooo much overstimulation. All that, in short, wrecks my heart and gut. Actual fucking heartbreaking shit. It's just getting worse with him. And I can't ever say anything because it's always too late to be open. Than I'll shut down because I'd explode if I didn't, but my fuse is way longer than it should be. So my stonewalling further creates discord.


I suck at relationshiping. I don't communicate. I let it marinade and gag at the taste but keep it in still only to be sparingly released in little bouts of passive aggressive behavior. And that further pisses him off. Why the fuck do I do this? I make shit worse....yet he says he loves me. I need to learn how to open my mouth.

A lot of people are born with a tendicy to get sad easily I just got used to it really and feel pretty content also why are you walking for exercise or going somewhere I jog in the evening myself

I do not want to accept the life that I have. I want more - i want to live not to exist. I want to work hard, study, contribute to society but world doesnt need a person like me. Would like to go to usa but I am not allowed to work there cause VISAs... I do not want to settle for existance. But for now, life is winning and it seems everything is going to an end.

Yeah.

I miss her (long story) but it's impossible to talk about because you get branded a pussy if you do.

A friend stopped keeping contact. I hope she's ok.

Pro tip:
Soundtracks for the Blind by Swans is the best album to listen on sad walks.
t. melancholy expert

Not really sad. Keylogged my gf's pc and got into her FB... Confirmed she's fucking around on me. What's more is she's pregnant and lives with me. Abortion is Tuesday so I just need to tough this out until then...

It's Poland

You the Polish guy who posted a while back?

Poland.

This: Just walking and crying. When this stops.

What do you mean by whole back? Yesterday - yes. I cant stop my wheel.

Today is my birthday
I'm in a new city and I am alone

America is shit rn OP, always has been, u dont wanna be there

...

Sorry, only thing I understood is Blitzkrieg.
It's German for Thunder War.

Greentext please.

Maybe I'll kill myself if the thread 404s, but I'm not OP.
Dubs decide how.

Happy birthday faggot :)

Satanic trips are a sign. Don't kill yourself, lad.

Check my trips and dubs you niggers

I have different relation from the first hand. Person that has been there lately.If I an hero tou will have footage. I am a btard. Wont forget about you. Will be blackpowder remington 1858 .44 cal since thats only legal weapon here.

post pics of the gun

Same thing happened to me. I invited everyone I knew back in Middle School to my birthday party. Like, 8 people said they were coming. I was so excited, my parents were too, so we got the best cake and set up the house with decorations and everything. Then, it's time for people to show up. Nobody is here yet. I think that they're just stuck in traffic, or something (since my birthday is in December.) 10 minutes later, nobody is there. I cry my eyes out and just hide in my room for the rest of the day. I have never told anyone about my birthday since then.

I asked how not if m8.

Sorry I have no gun.
I have knifes, sleeping pills or maybe a toater in the bathtub lol.

You a guy or girl?

where do you live?

things that helped me when i felt that way:
- travelling (especially with little to no money, hitch hiking)
- non-violent communication (it acutally helped me more with myself than with other people)
- psychedelics in a therapeutic way (not doing it at parties but with a close friend/brother)

How about an agreement? If I manage to roll trips, you don't kill yourself. If singles, you kill yourself by noose.

Kinda the same.
Stopped celebrating my birthdays 8 years ago.
But I don't have anyone to invite anyways soo...Yea.

How? I am on a walk? Uberti remington 1858 8inch. Barrel .44 cal Black powder - google it

If you're a girls I'll bring you to America

Why not bike? They are cheap and fast. S{top[p[ed me from being sad multiple times.

>Greentext please.
Okay bear with me it's complicated and depressing for me to think about so it may not be super well written. Plus it might be long because I'm shit at paraphrasing.

>be me
>meet her 3 years ago
>instantly hit it off
>we become best friends
>friendship naturally progresses into romance
>we date briefly but i get an opportunity to move back to my home country where i grew up
>i take it
>we split but agree to keep in contact as friends
>promise we'll see each other again
>i move
>we just keep growing closer despite the distance, time difference
>we fall in love
>we end up confessing
>we decide that because of the distance we won't jump into a relationship until we could meet in person
>she planned to visit me next summer
>until then we weren't exclusive and were free to see other people as long as we let each other know
>this worked fine
>then just over a month ago i drunkenly kissed a girl i previously had a little couple month fling with
>didn't think anything of it
>let her know as usual, expecting her to be fine with it and we could continue as normal because we weren't exclusive
>nope
>she flipped, called me every name under the sun
>i fought desperately to save it but probably made it worse by not giving her any space
>she blocked me on every platform
>find out thru a mutual friend she's seeing someone new
>it's only been like a month

I'm fucking heartbroken, never felt like this before. I'm very lost, my head is all over the place, and I'm in a very depressive mindstate. Everything else in my life is going well but I don't seem to appreciate it. I just want her back.

I might get to talk to her soonish. But I don't know what to say. I want to know what actually happened. Why she ended things so drastically and why she's seemingly unaffected. I don't know any of this shit.

I care for so much as a person in a romantic way but also in regards to our friendship. I don't want her out of my life. I would hate that. I really value her.

Poland, Sosnowiec.

At least I didn't buy myself a cake...

Thank God u are not in jail.

Anonie możesz pracować wszędzie w Europie, taka Szwecja przyjmuje ludzi chociażby

>life is winning
Musi ci być wchuj ciężko ale nie pękaj, wyrzuć to z siebie ale po to żeby potem ci było łatwiej żyć

Valid point

Widzisz co sie dzieje w eu? Mam znajomych po Europie, wszędzie zalew śmiecia ludzkiego i social benefits. Człowiek pracujący jest niszczony.

W końcu naprawdę nie wytrzymam. Szukałem psychologa dobrego ale mnie nie stać. Zżera mnie własny mózg.

>noose
Like a rope?

Shit man.
I don't know what to say honestly. I really don't.

Napisał że ze Sosnowca

i've been writing a pretty long response but i lost it and now i can't reconstruct it appropriately.
the best i can do now is saying: heads up, my friend. i know it hurts. but you will get better. talk to people, this usually helps. oh and also, this song helped me a lot:
youtube.com/watch?v=tkt5LVLy4Vo

call me a faggot but i sincerely wish you all the best and i'd hug you if i were there.

Teraz na kombajnistów

in for some travelling?

as fagtastic as that was to read, it was actually p sweet

Can you be more specific? What do you mean?

Bye thread

>I want to know what actually happened. Why she ended things so drastically and why she's seemingly unaffected. I don't know any of this shit

remember this: the things that happen are never the fault (better: responsibility) of one person. she has her own part in this.
of course i can't really judge since i've only read a few line from those events, but i'm pretty sure my assumption is correct:
her reaction tells me that there have been things going on inside of her, which she has not been talking about (maybe she wasn't aware of them herself).
your action was a trigger/opportunity for her to allow this kind of reaction.
it seems to me that there are some things she needs to sort out. sadly, you can't help her with that.
all you can do is to be there for yourself.

Thanks fam.

Hopefully things work out. I hope I can get her back in my life in time.

The possibility of her not being there is scary.

well, i'm going through some things myself and i know that travelling will help me. maybe i'll drop by in poland, who knows...
my question is: would you join me for a while?

shit op gone

If I only had a spare time in my.job - sure. If you wanted to travel near me, always will find time to meet up, go somewhere, could show something.

Wanna leave me a contact? Or add me kik: sanczez
Mail: [email protected]

I'm 23 i wonder how it feels to be loved.
KV. My friend invited me to celebrate new years eve at his cottage.
I'll have to kindly reject it, i will not look at 4 happy couples having fun and i have to pretend that i'm okay.

no kik, but i'll write you an email.
don't know when i'll be travelling though, most likely in winter... we'll see.

You have friends?
Ask them if they can help you. They'll maybe make fun of you, but they will help you out nonetheless.

Just try it.

Sure. Hope i'll be still among the living people.

I am heading Home. Its fucking cold here... Already freezing.

Even my thread is a failure as I am.

good advice, listen to this guy
>that first sentence hit me hard though

Hey guys, please tell me life gets better. I'm starting college and I only have 2 'friends' here, but they mostly just have fun at my expense. I feel alone and unwanted. I just need to know that there's something to look forward to.

Ditto

>Even my thread is a failure as I am.

dude look at this thread. amongst all that hostility of Cred Forums we actually managed to talk about feelings and shit.
how is this a failure?
stay alive and i'll be happy to travel to poland.

What exactly do you mean by this?

And yeah, I'm trying to be there for myself. I'm trying to look at the positives, which there are plenty of at the moment, but it's hard when something like this happens.

>Feels thread that isn't being trolled
>Failure
I don't understand your standards OP.

>Even my thread is a failure as I am.
Are you kidding me?
I've made 5 threads today and got 1 reply overall.

>Hey guys, please tell me life gets better.
No comment.

>I only have 2 'friends' here
>only
Is this real life?

Yea...

user, I deal with the same stuff pretty often. Set yourself a goal to accomplish - it will make you feel better, and people will eventually start admiring you. Good luck!

Current goal is to not jump off a parking garage. Nobody is gonna admire me for that.

i promise you, it will get better.
and it's ok to be miserable for a while but don't give yourself in to that. get up again, when you've had enough. you're responsible for your well being, do something.

Gonna save the thread

1st - bitching around pisses people off, so that would explain your lack of friends BUT killing yourself is the fucking worst. Life has endless possibilities, it's just your current state that makes you blind to them.
Protip: put your feelings into actions, do something, write a letter expressing your feeling and then hide it, whatever. DO NOT OVERTHINK THIS MATTER, it's your thoughts that are the destructible force, do something to contain them

Time for some bumpz

...

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nobody's pushing you to do it, but your thoughts. Go for an evening run, it's pretty cold but you'll feel better in the morning :)

You really think it's THAT fucking easy don't cha?
How lucky you are.

Bump

yeah, it is.

as for what i meant:
well, even though i might be wrong, consider this:
what if she started to feel more distant to you? what if some things started to change for her but she was afraid to tell you because she didn't want to hurt you?
in the beginning she might have not even realized it herself and when things built up, it the pressure was just too high.
her reaction seems pretty explosive, what if what you've done simply was her permission to do the step she was afraid to do?

i've been struggling with depression for years now and i'm tired

how do you get rid of feelings about killing your self

I drink, but I don't recommend it. It makes me forget for a while, but the feeling always come back. Then I'm off to the bottle again.

Get someone to convince you for you.
Knowing someone actually cares about you being there helps.

You tell me how

best advice: get an animal that depends on you, it'll keep u from feeling worthless if theres a licing creature who relies on you

This. Just don't get too attached. When she left it almost killed me.

All along on the feels road. I'll just post a couple of personal life stories for the feels.

>be 13y old me
>kissless, bullied kid at that time
>mothers best friend comes to visit us over Christmas
>she was like an aunt to me
>having a fun time, stuff as usual cause she visits us quite frequently
>my bed is occupied by other visitors, so I'll have to sleep on the couch next door
>suddenly someone lays right next to me
>ImCoolWith.dat
>cuddles with their ass quite close to my dick
>i back off a bit, maybe it's just accidental
>ass follows
>a hand grabs for my dick and strokes it
>take a deep breath, smell wine and mother's friends perfume
>awkward handjob, switches to blowjob under the sheets
>decides to actually put a condom on my dick
>ImGettinLaid.avi
>condom is like tiny as fuck, she must have bought it in advance
>or her husband has a small cock.
>weird sex commences, cum after less than half a minute
Ever since then I wish nothing more but my virginity back. All the neckbeards complaining. I don't get it. Back in the day it was nice, but now I contemplate about being raped as my first time. Was my first kiss too.

>just be le happy XD
HAHAHHAAH good one m8.

Yeah maybe she was losing feelings for me or something, but if she was she was hiding it really well because things were going really well.

Sometimes she'd have little freakouts about the distance but we'd always talk them out and she'd always say she wanted to be with me, and when she'd freak out I'd make little plans for the future to calm her down and she'd tell me how much she loved me and how I always make everything better.

I never thought for a second that she losing feelings for me, but maybe she was all this time, I don't know. And the fact that I don't know makes it harder. I don't have much closure because I don't know enough to have closure.

Maybe she despises me and wants nothing to do with me. Maybe she still has feelings for me but is scared of the distance. Maybe she wants to be friends in the future. Maybe she just wants a break. Maybe the new guy is just a rebound. Maybe the new guy is serious and will be long term. I don't know anything.

>Focus on hobbies
>Sports/working out
>Spend time with friends
>If you don't have friends, try to make some by talking to people at work/sports club/hobby club
I know it's easy to say, hard to do. But it works like that.

On the boulevard of broken dreams

Lost.

>
where were you when this happened?

At home. She snuck into the room I was in.

I'm out there as well. Some times i just want it to end.

i was mentioning the questionable possibility, kek. great story though.

me neither, but i can tell you that with certainty:
she does not despise you.

i know this thought really well, i've been through this shit.
from what you've said so far, i am sure that she really love(d/s) you. you are not an asshole and you treated her well.
the thought that she might despise you is a product of your pain and irritation. you need to understand that it is highly unlikely that this is the case.
and even if she actually feel something like that, it most like has its roots in her being hurt/confused. NOT in your actions.

Happy birthday, via Internet, yo.

i actually believe you.

what if you managed to let go of the thought of impurity?
my first time was not rape, but i really regretted it for many years. up until the point where i met a wonderful women with whom i got to know new dimensions of sexuality and intimacy.
there was a day when i felt how the old dust came off, and i realized it doesn't define me.
you could say that i had many "first" times, since it's all in your head. and that's a wonderful insight to me.

Happy birthday, user.

Pretty much going to have to pick yourself up and get going, its hard as fuck but its possible.

Life is shit user, but there is still a lot of good in life worth living for.

They were all piss drunk as I could tell, so it's quite reasonable that noone saw nor heard her. I didn't want to make a sound to not bring her or me into trouble.

Another story:
>fast forward two years
>hang out with one of my friends at his place
>let's call him Tom
>We were playing with Toms PS3
>suddenly his sister and her friend burst in
>Toms sister looks normal
>her friend(let's call her Annika) doesn't.
>DD cups.
>They ask us if we want anything from the grocery store
>We ask for sweets. They delivered.
>Didn't mind her until the next day where she sat on Toms trampoline
>sat down right next to her, talk about life, the usual stuff
>ride home with bike
>Text up Tom like: "Yo can I have Annikas number?"
>Tom sends number, I call her instantly
>"Yo it's me, user. You wanna go to the cinema?"
>"Hang on a sec"
>phone drops
>"Yeahhhh! He wants to go out!"
>feelsGoodMan.gif
>meet up
>Date eachother for a couple of months
>I break up cause she's a lunatic tick
She was weird. Very weird. Had told everyone in her school before we have been dating in the first place that we were a couple. She's a nympho nowadays btw, which makes me zozzle hard

When does this shit finally end?
Does it ever stop? I cried so much my eyes burn. I've tried everything for years...it doesn't get better or even bearable

youtube.com/watch?v=xJ2ggkdr4kw

I am coming man

you germaan or dotchie?

Witnessing a gay meetup live on Cred Forums

I cannot let go of that thought. It just makes me connect bad emotions to sex, and everytime I tried it just didn't go away. Maybe I'll meet my woman one day. Who knows.

This one is feelsy:
>One year after Annika
>be in this catholic group thingymajiggy
>meet a couple of friendly kids, have to be their group leader, they're only 2 years younger than me, so they don't have too much respect.
>but some value me as their friend
>they go to the same school as I do
>hang around with them sometimes
>meet this girl in their group, let's call her Diana
>get along fairly nicely, build up courage to ask her to hang out with me sometime
>"Sure user!"
>meet for a few times, call it official on valentines (clichee)
>from that point it's a downward spiral
>don't meet up anymore, doesn't talk to me in school
>tells me she's busy learning
>turns out she's been skyping with another dude.
>naked.

I dunno why, that had me broken at that time. I was crying my soul out, even though now I can happily say that I'm over it, and Diana is happily cutting her wrists as we type here.

DD cups at 15 then?

and yet you're still here.

yes, it can get better.
are you sure you have tried everything?

holy trips

you germaan or dotchie?

Left arm is numb and II'm sleepy.
Typing is shit but I'm still here yea waiting for thread to end.
I'm tired.

Have a rare pepe.

just go to sleep user
good night, sleep tight
banjoo on

Thanks, I appreciate that.

how many times have you tired to end it?

My relationship is making me miserable. I see no appreciation on my lover's face for anything I do, no matter how good it is. And yet I haven't stopped trying.

Check-in

5555 times.

could it be that you're not yet ready to stop trying? sometimes the reason for holding on is not love but fear.
the day will probably come when you'll have to allow both of your lives to continue...

Twice if you count today.
Still waiting you just get shit pills here.
I'm just gettig tired thats it.

They say you have to be happy yourself before you'll attract a partner that'll make you happier

so we're basically all fucked

Jawohl, true herrenrasse reporting in
Yup. TYFTT was my first thought but it was legit.

Other than that, I decided to keep a certain distance to girls until like 3 years afterwards.
>hang around with a bunch of friends
>mostly girls, but not interested in a relationship at that time
>decide to have a LotR film night
>they invite a new girl, gonna call her Jennifer
>she's pretty cool, actually likes LotR
>we don't swap numbers, don't see her for months
>meet up with girl-friends again so we can go to the local rollercoaster park thingy (germanfags know what I mean, Kirmes)
>They invite Jennifer
>we all having a good time
>this time we swap numbers
>we date for a while
>do all sorts of stuff, lasertag, cinema, waterpark
>she invites me to her birthday
>we all get hilariously drunk
>sit by the shore nearby
>she leans her head on my shoulder
>yay.gif
>admit that I'm interested in pursuing a deeper, greater relationship with her
>meet up a day later
>"Sorry but your not my type yadda yadda"
Fuck. This. Shit. 5 months. Wasted. Some waste more though. One more then we're at the present.

hahah jaaa lekker op de kermis :))))