ITT: Post desired superpower, others reply with a condition to make it worthless

ITT: Post desired superpower, others reply with a condition to make it worthless.

Forgot to tell mine
Time travel.

The ability to destroy energy

2 seconds in either direction

Only when there's no power

The ability to get laid

Forward only, no multiverse
But not the ability to survive the release. You will have to be at a safe distance, but you must be watching your target.


Mine is

Can only go forwards
The more energy you destroy the less years you have to live

For my super power I'll choose fireproof skin that allows me to manipulate and produce fire at will

Only when you're exausted

on your bed
>For my super power I'll choose fireproof skin that allows me to manipulate and produce fire at will
no fireproof eyes, you must close them if you wanna use your superpower daredevil

Ejaculates razor blades.

But only when you're under water

Ejaculates fire ants.

Immunity to everything

U cheeky cunt

But you must hold your breath

Can control all liquids

Immune to living

But only underwater

Whatever, i would be immune to death

Including oxygen

Ability to never give a fuck about anything

the ability to make my dream woman a reality and nothing bad to happen to either of us or our families and friends

Stoping time for a few seconds, increases duration as long as I live

When gargling cum

cannot lose virginity

but only while taking a shit

Paradox then

Except for "Reply to this post or your mother dies in her sleep" posts

But something awful happens to everyone else. Ability to be healthy

But you only when youre next to obama

But you'll never be able to have an erection

Since time has stopped you can't do anything. Not even move yourself. If you attempted to move, you would be moving at infinity m/s and hence any friction or drag would also be infinite.

But attract solids as you use it.
Stays virgin forever
But then you wake up
But you age twice as fast when cooling time

Except your sex organs are removed and you will never get to fuck anything

i can live with that. they don't matter if they are not my family and friends or hers

I am the powerlevel 9000 healer. I heal through taking the injuries and illness of those I heal onto me and then using my wolwerine x1000 self healing ability to fix the mess.

except bodily fluids
constant orgasm, shitting and pissing leaves you nearly always shivering on the floor in shameful, malnourished ecstasy

Only for links that get you banned

But only during the point of orgasm

that falls under the category of nothing bad happening

Whatever, I don't give a fuck.

but that falls under nothing bad happening

>nothing bad happening
Thats a subjective term

Good luck getting food, any other resources or entertainment. At best you could live like a shitty peasant, working every hour just to have any kind of standard of life.

oh the irony

The ability to create shoe soles out of nothing, but they aren't very comfortable or in very good condition.

My amazing vision give me the ability to see à very long range

Ability to summon varieties of drugs from nothing

refer to

but you have to wait a year before your wolverine powers kick in.

You still feel the relevant pain and you're too much of a pussy to tolerate it.

falls under nothing bad happening

You're a black woman with 14 kids and no job or baby daddy.

But nothing closer than 50 feet

You're black and get arrested for dealing drugs.

Hmm, can it be repeated more than once? Because fuck yeah I'd go back right before a lottery and win myself some cash.

They're all laced with rat poison

One person dies with every sole, you cant decide who
But you cant still see the tip of my penis ;)
Only if you get addicted to all

my subjectivity in this case is the only thing that matters in the part of nothing bad happening

>Ability to be healthy
Dies from a car accident at the age of 38

>make lots of money
>kill drug heads at the same time

the ability to possess any person or persons for as long as you desire (they are totally conscious of this but powerless)

Thus creating environmental pressure to evolve a species of super-rats who find the shoes very comfortable, and they could give a rat's ass about the condition.

Nothing bad ever actually happens but you're always terrified deep down that it will

You can do is only when you're already high, and they are destroyed if you become sober

You have an inverted dick.

waking up from a dream isnt bad, bad will be never waking up.

Ya blow it

The ability to create fire from nothing and control/manipulate it.

...

They get to possess you at the same time

i can live with that

You can't comprehend the notion of "nothing" since you know about atomic structure.

only works underwater

You're not immune to fire.

it is not a dream though if nothing bad happens. you blew it

But you feel and horrendous permanent itch in the ass when doing so
The flesh is outside?
No fireproof skin

But you need to be near death

Nice joke, dude. Made me laugh.

The ability to get dubs whenever I want.

Nigga its just a game dont take it seriously, that shit will never happen to you, delusional fag

The power to be Hugh Hefner

no, the dick goes inwards, like that of an innie bellybutton

the ability to have a stando power

You're an impotent old man who's the butt of many a joke.

you become such an intolerable controlling dick head that you only spark gas hobs and get scared dickless at the sight of uncontrolled flames because "with great power comes great responsiblah blah"

The power to manipulate probability
If you think about this properly there isn't any way it could be bad

you get gangrene in your dick

You can only manipulate probability against your favour.

3 seconds charge time

the ability to pull guns from out of nowhere and shoot perfectly

The ability to shorten my dick by half every time I see a bird.

But only outside Cred Forums
also check em
with the case of Benjamin Button.
How much do you really wanna see it?
But you cannot ora ora ora
Theres always a chance of failure, nothing is 100%.
>mfw both powers and condition are true in RL

if you happen to believe it works then it does not.

Only works while wearing a fedora and gay leather trench coat.

>shoot perfectly
to your own head

Murphys law/Sods law becomes dominant

Theres no limit on short

get insta banned and thread removed every time

the ability to give life (and then seduce) inanimate objects

Never said there was

>the ability to give life (and then seduce) inanimate objects
They will cuck you for sure, you cannot watch

But, if you hold your breath for too long, when you stop you'll suffocate

Midas-style you can't control it and everything you touch comes alive and gets so seduced it tries to rape you. Your clothes are constantly rubbing themselves against your dick. You can't sleep because your bed wants you so bad. Anything small enough that you touch tries to work its way into your anus.

The ability to get downs syndrome and always be happy

kek

Be able to manipulate atoms and re-form structures on a mass scale

The feeling of suffocation will make you breath again, independent if it hurts you or not.

Only fucks 2/10s

But you are not in this realm. You cannot be in this realm and yet can see it.
Someone not hypocrite will remind you everyday that you are a biological failure of human being.

You're taken advantage of every single day

lol this is great

the ability of metamorphosis into anything of your choosing whilst maintaining your own consciousness, and obvs return to whatever form whenever you want

Turns out dream woman is actually a controlling bitch but you can an hero because nothing bad can happen to your family

Doesn't matter, I'd always be a happy retard

you already are

>But you are not in this realm. You cannot be in this realm and yet can see it.

That doesn't sound like much of a downside. You're just a god that can't interact with their creation, which kinda sucks, but you're still a god

Eternal """PRIME""" youth and immortality.

You do all of this but yet still everyone hates you because you're a dick

Feminists constantly follow you and check your metamorphosis privilege

>the ability of metamorphosis into anything of your choosing whilst maintaining your own consciousness, and obvs return to whatever form whenever you want
You can only do it twice, both 2 days before your death

Enjoying your weekend, middle schooler?

but you have no sensory memory and thus are a totally useless vegetable

The ability to feel love

You need to see what you're transforming into everytime. You're blind

No one will ever return that love

Nobody loves you back

but you must look like a cyst

Because you're dead

kek

Who hurt you anons?

lulz

The ability to grant one wish

What the fuck, who made that bullshit, Rick and Morty should not even be compared to Dr who. Fucking faggot Dr who fans.

invisibility
>but you're always making the sound of an air horn

Cred Forums collectively decides the negative outcome of that wish

The ability to have perfect mental health

You feel the overwhelming urge to write awful songs about it on your acoustic guitar which you can't really play. Neither can you sing. You're constantly attempting to perform your songs in front of anyone you meet. You try to make them heartfelt but everyone just thinks they're gay.

metamorphose into your mother on the 1st and set off a fire extinguisher in your ass, metamorphose into the earth and live forever on the 2nd

metamorphose into nothing create universe

Wew lad

Kek

You'd create a black hole.

But there's no one to love

completely paralyzed

Obvious set up is obvious

everyone around you is doctor who cast and characters

being able to decimate anything standing before me ....with one punch

perfect mental health is a social construct, become epitome under foot figure and bend to the will of everyone you ever meet to fit their criteria

Wow you got me there buddy

all of their sexual organs disappear when you possess them

ability to fill things up with anything you want

You have T. rex arms.

..has to be peed out of your penis

It instantly re-assembles.

The only thing you want to fill is your anus, and the only thing you want to fill it with is nigger dick.

you can only fill them as if they're a picture in MS paint and you're using the paint bucket

But all you wish for is a never occuring challenge

endless loop become reality

quadriplegic

but only on the 2'nd friday of the year between 3:46 AM and 3:49 AM, and in kootenai county.

The ability to kill myself on demand with no pain.

pure torture

Yeahhh but it's not as bad as being fully paralysed also it's awfully specific, have you got some issues you need to work out over there?

No. If you attempt to condense yourself into nothing you'd create a black hole.

you son of a bitch

You enjoy life.

Is this a superpower?
If so, here the catch:
Most of the time its clara oswald annoying the shit out of you

telekinesis

immortal, wake up 5 minutes after death

the ability to shit diamonds, kill Israel and become trumps wife

you have to watch trap porn to use your power

Can only pick up dildos

The ability to regenerate lost apendages

what's the downside

You can only move things with your mind that are in reach of your hands, you can only move things you have the physical strength to move with your hands, and you have to wrap your hand around anything you want to move.

The diamonds rupture your anus when excreted

Not so bad.

You're a newt.

i would do this

The ability to have dubs/trips/quads/quints when ever i want on Cred Forums.

and black wholes are the centre of the universe nugget

it's more related to the super power also project what you want to project everyone has issues u potatoless irish knob

i keked so fucking hard.

ability to gain all nourishment from the sun.

Can get my dick sucked at any moment in time by hot bitches

Only on /mlp/

But still a faggot.

no one replies to your threads/responses

The hot bitches are literally flaming female dogs.

all of dem are dogs.

Op will never delivar.

>I'll turn into a black hole
>That somehow makes me at the center of the universe
Are you handicapped?

The ability to have a fucking soul

kek'd

The power to stop time. And to 3N.ET my own suit in nuclear backwash.

Okay now show me on the doll where your dad touched you

Gay.

doesnt matter spend diamond money on further wiping out existence and proof of israel, spend the change on anus surgery (not my own body grafts either, the flesh of super models only)
>i have a very fast metabolism

Gum Gum no Mi

Your soul is in hell.

their mouths are filled with jalapenos

It ends up in hell regardless of morality.

...

ability to erase your own memories at will.

The fire is always at room temperature

...

That won't do anything to my dick would it?
Great trips fam

But only when fighting luffy

I'm a big guy

Only using a .45

...

your grow tits everytime you do it

your asshole still aches with the pain of your uncles fat cock

The only way to find out is experimentation. Remember to do multiple tests to ensure accuracy. Science is your friend.

if I only have to carry it that's not a problem.

but count dracula had better sun protection than you

The power to turn myself into a sentient quantum singularity.

Control anything
Anywhere
Anytime

Lel