ITT we create the next great copy pasta

ITT we create the next great copy pasta

here's a good one:

OP is a huge faggot


expect to see it plenty of times

we should try to keep the thread alive while the anons are typing away. Let's post pre-existing pastas

Recently I started to like covering myself in stale feces and masturbating. Almost every morning I walk around my neighborhood with a large black garbage bag and collect all the crap I see. It takes a whole day to get two bags full of shit. But it all pays off when I come home after a hard day, go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water and…mmm, pour all the crap into the bathtub. And then I masturbate, imagining that I’m being devoured by all the feces. All in all, I think, that poo has its own mind, each pile of shit has its own family, place, feelings, we shouldn’t just flush them down the toilet, we should take care of them, talk to them, pet them… And you know what, I had a wonderful dream while lying in the bathtub yesterday, I dived into the sea and it turned into shit, fish, seaweed, jellyfish, everything turned into poo, even the sky, Allah himself.

Let's get one about hillary

Here's a good one:

Did you say something- offensive to my lady? Did you say something that I find inappropriate? Yes, she is my lady. No, we are not dating but I consider her mine. Not as property perhaps, but as equals. I am a knight, good sir. I fight for the values of women online. I do also own 5 sets of plate mail, 2 sets of chain mail, and 15 claymore swords. Also two battle axes. Mostly for LARPing but I also have some real shit. I will cut you the fuck up. I'm gonna come to your house. I will fight you with my bare fists (probably covered in chain mail because that would give me a little bit of an advantage). I will have my brother Steven, who I share a bedroom with in my mother's apartment- I will have my brother Steven polish my armor after he's done with his next round of call of duty and I will take you out. I will take you the fuck out. I will make sure that you will never speak such harmful, awful, inappropriate things to my lady again. If you say one more fucking word on the internet, I'm going to show you what a knight can do. I will be able to backtrace your IP using my hacker skills. One time, I hacked my mom's boyfriend's facebook page and said "lol i am a faggot" and now people think he's gay and his mother has disowned him I think. My mom and him are still dating but I'm sure it damaged his credibility a lot. He once left his laptop on, that means I'm a hacker now. I have so many powers you can’t imagine. I have a 178 IQ. I did an IQ test on facebook and it said this was a very, very high number. I know that I'm smarter than you, more cleverer than you, more smarterest than you can ever imagine or believe. I am a knight of many principles. I'm very, very strong and very, very handsome. You can't stop me. You can't take back what you've done. All you can do is apologize and beg. Beg for your life. This, and only this, will please me.

I just typed out this thing not even 30 seconds ago I was gonna fake a post and post it on Reddit. Will reply my pasta, (((the clan))) isn't a real thing.

Fine, I'll come out of the shadows, just to give you retards a glance of my eminence, No use fucking replying I don't care for any of you niggers, especially you OP, eat shit. This is our internet, 24 carat vanilla: A failed utopia that could've been our own personal Erewhon. Now replete with creative cultural niches, harmless shenanigans being reported on the news as massive internet trolling. An all-inclusive rookery for sardonic highbrowed grandiloquent intellectualism. Not to mention the circle-jerking, and to basically 'cast one's hook'. But what really took the final blow on the internet, and this site, was time itself. Social media, and the ever growing anabasis of non-cognizant internet teen street urchins. Sure, maybe SOME can eventually fathom trying to conform, but those who are incapable will bevy and then publicize their own egomaniacal 'dogma'. Casually, it gnaws away at the core and the internet surreptitiously suffers, a lot of people (((the clan))) thought it wouldn't impinge them, but the (((clan))), was myopic. The internet is now a reflection of the general populace. As shitty you think this place is, it's not that bad. There simply is no joy to be had in the public square. Don't make more threads like this. This thread was a can of worms. Fucking delete it.
Sage.


▲▲


▲ ▲

Saved this in my notes

NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA SPORTS MOUNTDEW ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY FUC(KKK) FUC(KKK) FUC(KKK) JUICE EJUCULATE LATTE COFFEE BEANS CHOCOLATE EGG CHICKEN BIRD WINGS FLY SKY BLUE COLOUR RAINBOW GOLD OYLMPICS BRAZIL SOUTH AMERICA USA CUNTS WOMEN BITCHES DOGS CATS ANIMALS NIGGA

> ▲
>▲ ▲

Yeah thx u can edit some parts about the clan it's just to troll

I can seriously imagine someone sperging out

What the fuck did you say about me? I'll have you know I have feelings, and how dare you? How dare you? What's gives you the right? HUH MOTHERFUCKER WHAT GIVES YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT? It's none of your business to go around saying stuff about me! How the fuck would you like it if I said shit about you? I'm only going to say this once; get ready and make sure you listen - NEVER, EEEEEEEEVVVVVVEEEEERR SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME AGAIN!

I like how this is bookended by niggas.

I didn't give you permission to reply to me. Listen, it was entertaining, first. Hell, it was actually funny.

But now I'm getting the feeling that you actually think that you're on my level. From the day I was born, I was destined for success, you little shit. I was brought into this world by a software engineer and and a prominent actuary, both of Norwegian descent. From the moment that the fucking curtains were raised, I was set to dominate the STEM fields. And because I had guardians that actually cared about me, I flourished. Pretty soon, I was placed into a special school of correspondence, specifically I.M Gelfand's school for gifted children in New England. I not only reached my parents' expectations, but I passed them with flying colors. I had raw talent. I was fucking better. I was surrounded by 6th graders, many from Hong Kong, whom were smarter than half the posters in this fucking thread. And now, where am I?

In MIT, getting my double BS in Electrical Engineering and Physics, with a Stanford-Binet tested IQ of 147 at age 17.

Get this through your head: you are nothing. I am worth more than your entire goddamn family. I'm smarter than you, better looking than you, taller than you, wealthier than you, and more employable than you. While you type out another post to get cheap laughs, I'll be simultaneously working with the brightest minds in the world and fornicating with my beautiful girlfriend. It gets on my nerves when people pretend to be better than me.

Know your place, you fucking vermin. Never, ever reply to my posts, again.

Alright, first off who even asked for your fucking reply? I didn't, so why the fuck would you even post that stupid shit, do you not think before you act like a complete fucking idiot on the internet? Are you actually this stupid? Pfft, if it weren't for my morals and humanity I would break you down like noone ever has you weak piece of garbage. Do NOT make me repeat this to you. I never want to see you reply with this shit ever again. Fuck you.

Ratunku! Nie moge przestać mowic po rosyjsku!

>Alright, first off who even asked for your fucking reply? I didn't, so why the fuck would you even post that stupid shit, do you not think before you act like a complete fucking idiot on the internet? Are you actually this stupid? Pfft, if it weren't for my morals and humanity I would break you down like noone ever has you weak piece of garbage. Do NOT make me repeat this to you. I never want to see you reply with this shit ever again. Fuck you.

>Alright, first off who even asked for your fucking reply? I didn't, so why the fuck would you even post that stupid shit, do you not think before you act like a complete fucking idiot on the internet? Are you actually this stupid? Pfft, if it weren't for my morals and humanity I would break you down like noone ever has you weak piece of garbage. Do NOT make me repeat this to you. I never want to see you reply with this shit ever again. Fuck you.


kek

>Alright, first off who even asked for your fucking reply? I didn't, so why the fuck would you even post that stupid shit, do you not think before you act like a complete fucking idiot on the internet? Are you actually this stupid? Pfft, if it weren't for my morals and humanity I would break you down like noone ever has you weak piece of garbage. Do NOT make me repeat this to you. I never want to see you reply with this shit ever again. Fuck you.

Here's my pasta without the bait

Fuck forgot to paste

Fine, I'll come out of the shadows, just to give you retards a glance of my eminence, No use fucking replying I don't care for any of you niggers, especially you OP, eat shit. This is our internet, 24 carat vanilla:
A failed utopia that could've been our own personal Erewhon. Now replete with creative cultural niches, harmless shenanigans being reported on the news as massive internet trolling. An all-inclusive rookery for sardonic highbrowed grandiloquent intellectualism. Not to mention the circle-jerking, and to basically 'cast one's hook'. But what really took the final blow on the internet, and this site, was time itself. Social media, and the ever growing anabasis of non-cognizant internet teen street urchins. Sure, maybe SOME can eventually fathom trying to conform, but those who are incapable will bevy and then publicize their own egomaniacal 'dogma'. Casually, it gnaws away at the core and the internet surreptitiously suffers, a lot of people thought it wouldn't impinge them, but they were myopic. The internet is now a reflection of the general populace. As shitty you think this place is, it's not that bad. There simply is no joy to be had in the public square. Don't make more threads like this. This thread was a can of worms. Fucking delete it.
Sage.

I didn't give you permission to reply to me. Listen, it was entertaining, first. Hell, it was actually funny.

But now I'm getting the feeling that you actually think that you're on my level. From the day I was born, I was destined for success, you little shit. I was brought into this world by a software engineer and and a prominent actuary, both of Norwegian descent. From the moment that the fucking curtains were raised, I was set to dominate the STEM fields. And because I had guardians that actually cared about me, I flourished. Pretty soon, I was placed into a special school of correspondence, specifically I.M Gelfand's school for gifted children in New England. I not only reached my parents' expectations, but I passed them with flying colors. I had raw talent. I was fucking better. I was surrounded by 6th graders, many from Hong Kong, whom were smarter than half the posters in this fucking thread. And now, where am I?

In MIT, getting my double BS in Electrical Engineering and Physics, with a Stanford-Binet tested IQ of 147 at age 17.

Get this through your head: you are nothing. I am worth more than your entire goddamn family. I'm smarter than you, better looking than you, taller than you, wealthier than you, and more employable than you. While you type out another post to get cheap laughs, I'll be simultaneously working with the brightest minds in the world and fornicating with my beautiful girlfriend. It gets on my nerves when people pretend to be better than me.

Know your place, you fucking vermin. Never, ever reply to my posts, again

Why do vaginas fart?

Circumcision is a brutally cruel and highly destructive procedure that removes essential, healthy, vital, nerve rich tissue from the penis for no other reason than to make doctors rich,.
The foreskin contains 20,000+ touch and pressure receptors that represent 75% of the sexually sensitive tissue on the penis. How could having some hack in a lab coat slice this skin off make things better? It can't and it won't.
You simply cannot remove ythat much nerve innervated tissue from the penis and still expect it to function normally.

Uncut fags are way ahead of the cut guys in genital health, cleanliness, functionality, freedom from skin tags, skin bridges, mis-matched skin, uneven cuts, twisted skin, lopsided erections, ugly scars, Meatal Stenosis, Ulcerated Meatus,....the list of life long, permanent circumcision damage goes on and on.
They are miles ahead of the cut guys in sensitivity and I will say functionality again.

Benzaie ?

> females can't be raped
> Islam is a religion of peace
> guns are the only reason for crime
> Hillary is the best choice

Take your pick

females can't be raped

Sup faggots!

It's me, the voice in your head, God. I'm here to talk today about something that, misfortunately, is actually a real thing. It's a dark thing that exists and it's hurt people for a very, very long time.

That thing is called possession.

Whoa nell! Possession? Ain't that like dragons and snarks?

Well unfortunately for many, but thankfully not all or most, that just isn't the case. The easiest way to tell weather or not you've suffered at the hands of possession is a simple test: Can you remember, at any point, somebody being really, really upset about a light being left on?

Because hi-diddly-ho if you've left the light on, it just ain't the biggest dealio, sky. But what happens to some is that the other person - their mother, their father, spouse or friend - comes in in a mad rage. Screaming a fit, angry, accusing, swearing, red as ketchup.

Unfortunately this demon can just move right on in - and hey ho, you've got a real problem buster!

So be ware! Watch out for 'em! If you see it, the best thing to do is disengage. It will end the interaction and judgement will come from heaven. If you're lucky, it won't happen too many times in the story you live through your pretty little eyes, sky, but unfortunately for some they get to sit on the end of a video that 'apposed to be real that just ain't right. And that's what I'm all about, sky. Ending those videos.

HEY 'O!

but thats just a fact

.. I'm sorry. I jut don't see the point in arguing user, we don't matter alright. None of us matter. We are all going to die, and it won't mean jack shit. Your opinion, my opinion. They don't matter. We are both going to die and for what? For nothing. Listen to me anons. Our lives mean nothing. It's time to do what you could never do. It's time to quit your shitty job, your shitty lifestyle. Do you want to end it together user? Would a double suicide please whatever fictional 'demons' our pointless world inhabits?

Cleaned it up. Still pleb tier

... I'm sorry. I just don't see the point in arguing anymore user, we don't matter alright. None of us matter. We are all going to die, and it won't mean jack shit. Your opinion, my opinion. They don't matter. We are both going to die and for what? For nothing. Listen to me user. Our lives mean nothing. It's time to do what you could never do. It's time to quit your shitty job, your shitty lifestyle. Do you want to end it together user? Would a double suicide please whatever fictional 'demons' our pointless world inhabits? ... Please, if someone out there can hear me,
give me some sort of meaning, that's all I want. Nothing else.
Please?