Ask a satellite technician anything

How do I get free TV?

I want to steal direct tv, I have the dish and boxes but no working cards. Is it still possible to steal the service? How should I go about it if it is possible?

A slight to moderate rain shouldn't affect any satellite service so long as the original technician properly honed in the dish. My guess is that you have poor satellite signal to begin with.

Well dammit, I guess I'm calling DirecTV to get a guy out here to inspect it.

You can't in this day and era anymore. Not unless you use a splitter onto your neighbors receiver, run a cable to your house and even then you would be forced to watch what your neighbors are watching and most likely be remote-less.
You can't. You have to have those cards activated by direct tv, which requires a contract.

Have you ever gotten laid while working?

Nah, but you definitely run into some "interesting" scenarios.

My installer asked me to rate him highly. He failed in every metric they asked about.
1. provided no booklet to tell how to operate the remote
2. no channel guide
3. He left messes, left overs from drilling the walls in my garage.
4. Didn't hang the wires from the underside of my floor like I asked him to.

Question: Are "Pearl" HDMI cables really any better than regular cheap HDMI cables?

(he was trying to sell me one)

Hahahaha nice....

why are you pussies so afraid to install cables under crawl spaces
fucking pansies

cont'd

He didn't have the tools necessary for the job (long drill bits) so he used some of mine, KEK

No.

Why are there no good indoor dishes?

I don't know why they don't say "satellite television receiver tech"

Words are all we have in a board like this

Do you try and sell them off your truck when completing an installation?

Why are you guys such lazy assholes? Do you get paid to show up and not install? Why do all my customers call me back with some poor excuse the installer gave to do his job. I lose like 800 bucks a month to you lazy motherfuckers.

Because you tight cunts want everything for free.

whats a really good hummus recipe ??

This

Line of sight reception, walls block signals.

>free installation
well fuck me if I read something wrong

That's pretty shitty. I always go through customer education. Not telling the customer how the system works is just asking for a trouble call. You obviously had a really shitty technician, which can be common due to the turnover of this job.

Pearls will improve sound quality and picture quality slightly. It's got some nice qualities and is absolutely an upgrade over the base HDMI that comes with thr receiver.

Crawl spaces fucking suck. You basically are army crawling through rat shit, spider webs and have to be on the look for out for snakes, rodents, etc, not to mention black mold in certain parts of the country. On top of that, you probably want me to drill through your floor or an interior wall which is much more of a pain in the ass than the other options.

Nope, get you're own, all hdmi cables are the same, it's digital not analogue.

Tahini, chick peas, salt, garlic, squeeze of lemon juice.

Mine did it. He left cables laying all over the ground, but he did it. I think all of them do it here.

Get a better job.

Buy some rods then.

Natch

I think this answer is better--> I bought one from Newegg, and it made the picture more crisp

too generic...no fantasy..
wheres the cumin, the pinch of turmeric, olive oil..etc

My job awesome, but if my satellites don't install I get paid less, for real answer, do you guys get paid if you bullshit your way out of installing?

last time fucker left cables on my floor ,didn't even hide them to the side, fucking pussies

Not heard of car sharing user ?

And you install the shit..

when i was younger i had a friend of mine help me out on my rooftop installing a satelite dish. He was pretty much useless and quite autistic tbh but at least we were good friends and he was doing his best.

>Green text some stories.

Chuck some paprika in to then.

Olive oil?????, WTF??????

Has carding ever caught back up with the encryption tech? Would love to be able to burn cards again...
*SIGH* The good ole days of free PPV and everything else...

I dunno, I've been making all of this shit up.

Pay more for nothing then, Like I care.

Softcams user

Thanks for that, I'll sleep better knowing this important info.

Do they welcome you at the door cock in hand?

Lol i use same dish to theft WiFi 0°degrees elevation

Well, I'm not trying to be confrontational. I don't even have great eyesight, but I can tell a difference in the picture. I'd say try one, then if you don't notice a difference, send it back. But, I'm pretty sure you'll agree it is an upgrade.

yes mate ..extra virgin olive oil,,it makes it creamier and smoother not to mention the flavor is better
2 x 400g cans of chickpeas (reserve the liquid and a few chickpeas for decoration)
4 tsp tahini
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp crushed sea salt
6 tbsp quality extra virgin olive oil (plus extra for drizzling)
3½ tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
Paprika (optional)
Coriander or parsley leaves (optional)

besides...im greek

No, but I have been greeted by a half naked man with third degree burns on his buttocks

>Softcams
WTF???
I mean burning access cards for receivers...

>TV not even 6ft from dish
>cable five times as long
Why you do this?

What kind of satellites do you work on? Comms? Weather? Research? Does working in Space for long periods of time fuck up how you perceive days when you get back?

Sounds good, what has being greek got to do with anything?

/thread

i know what i'm making today now

Yeah, and I said Softcams

we hummus too...
and we olive oil

Come on. I wanna hear about horny housewives offering favours if you hook them up.

checkem

I really appreciate this.... I'm tired of inconsistent prepackaged hummus from the store

Do you use a froothie or vitamix or some kind of food processor? be specific plx

>doesn't know about being greek
>complains
>being this retarded

I want your hard cam, user.

I use a food processor for mine, dunno if does
pic related it's what i have

...

Blimey!

That doesn't answer their question, dumb fuck

Why do I have to pay for 10,000 shitty channels in order to get the dozen or so that I actually want to watch? You are the reason I pirate media. You are also the cause of cancer, poverty, niggers, and the big crunch.

Fuck off cunt, thats why I fucking asked, prick, Did the fucking greeks infuckingvent fucking hummus?, NO.

A few fellow technician's have stumbled upon some swingers, asking if they wanted to join. But I haven't had anything as interesting.

yes i use a processor to make it really creamy and smooth..others like it with chunks of the chick peas ..it depends on you taste..like peanut butter..chunky or smooth..or you could make it smooth and then put a couple spoons of whole chick peas on top and drizzle with olive oil and corriander chopped up..i eat mine with pita bread,olives and feta cheese its fuckin awesome

Yep, food processor. All the way. Niiiiiice n smooooooooooooth

Yeah, that's they make their money unfortunately. But Dish did come out with something called the "smart pack" recently which sounds like it might be up your alley .

>the big crunch

trying to figure out how you blame satellite tv for this one.

Whats wrong with Softcams?, huh?

the same way niggers are still around, obviously

thats perfect..use the two blade thingy bottom far right of pic

literally everything

got this Toroidal T90 dish with 8 quad lnbs. it's the shit. definitely recommended.
You know any dished better than this one?

No one is forcing you to watch TV. I climb ladders and drill holes and line shit up, I don't choose the prices, channels or what is on them. There is more than one person working in the whole of satellite TV channels and installation. Moron.

It sounds great. I got sick from some pic related - it usually doesn't but I got a bad batch, and never went back

Please explain

I don't know if anything is wrong with softcams. I just want to get those channels for free like everyone else, so there ya go

The Ezradak er43 is better than that, not much though

Their hummus is pretty shit tier. Nothing beats fresh hummus

Fact.

thats why i always make my own..from hummus to tzatsiki to mayonaise even

Are satellite TV streams encrypted in any way? Does the dish on my roof send any messages to the satellite, or does it only receive a signal?

Is it worth getting into if I make shit money right now? How hard is it to get into? Is it your most stressful job?

I ate some store brand hummus (less expensive than the sabra) and it was worse. I'm going to try my hand at making my own. Maybe it is less expensive to make it myself to boot, and I'll at least know what is in it.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ij99dud8-0A
.
.
.
why not

It controls your family.

wat is the name of the best APP to point the dish?

>will improve sound quality and picture quality slightly

Are you a fucking retard? It's a digital signal. It's either there, or it's not. There aren't varying degrees of quality due to cable selection. It's not analog, where cable quality can have a bearing on the quality of the transmitted signal.

It is hard work. I'd rather simply troubleshoot. I did installs for the phone company and get really tired of it after 5 years of it.

I tried To explain this....

this is an original recipe..its worth giving it a shot

allrecipes.com/recipe/161082/authentic-middle-eastern-hummus-chummus/

I'm the one that got the pearl cable, and it was markedly better. I know it doesn't make perfect sense if you think of it in terms like you say. I've heard monster cables are no better than cheap ones, but pearl is different.

I don't have any tv services other than Netflix. Also, I've seen how you fucktards operate, and your installations look like they were done by a downy kid with a can of silly string. Finally, I'm well aware that there is more than just you working for your company. However, you are the closest representative at the moment. So, you will get all of my vitriol.

I want to make the flat bread too, just like what I ate in afghanistan. It was good shit.

youtube.com/watch?v=2G5rfPISIwo

>your installations look like they were done by a downy kid with a can of silly string

my sides... it's true though. they could give a shit if it looks like it was done on purpose.

Fuck off, The signal is either on of off, it's digital, not analogue. You fucking idiot. I bet its gold plated too......pleb.

check these out then...most are really easy

allrecipes.com/recipes/345/bread/yeast-bread/flat-bread/

Are you proud of the fact that millions of men can now rip the head off it at midnight simultaneously across the world because of guys like you?

I don't know if it is gold plated, but the cable itself is directional oddly enough. I installed it backward to start before I realized this. Don't get upset, as this is just an image board for communication and shit.

like I give a flying fuck what you shit hole of a house looks like, if you want more than the basic install, put your hand in your fucking pocket and get a different company in to install it in your favorite color. Tight cunt, You all want the moon on a fucking stick and then moan like fuck when you get given less than bespoke free shit. Fucking cunts, all of yer.

aliens. do they exist?

Wanker

He doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. If they had softcams, carding would be alive since the softcam is based off of a cracked card.

What he is referring to is IKS or internet key sharing. You have a card server that uses subscribed cards to feed out access keys to the clients. Works, all well and good, until the server gets busted (traced back to subscribed cams). Then there's a log of IP addresses leading to all the clients. And subscription logs. Which leads to a whole bunch of civil cases and people having to shell out about 5 grand each for it to go away.

IKS is stupid.

I'm sure there are cards that have been cracked out there, but the smart guys (the hobbyists that actually figure the shit out) aren't giving them up this time. The got screwed over during the whole Free To Air debacle. Box manufacturers got millions, they got dick.

(Not OP. OP is a twat that doesn't know anything about his own industry)

Maybe

whats the deal with theese sat dishes? why do they only have 1 lnb and why is is completely centered?

>allrecipes.com/recipes/345/bread/yeast-bread/flat-bread/

Did you make this recipe? I'm going to try it and see. It's fun to make stuff.

These are my full size pigs in blankets. All beef franks wrapped in homemade bread, and they are to die for.

I just use a plain white bread recipe and roll it out and wrap them and cut them.

Softcams fuckin rule

i mena the one to the left

Error concealment is used in cases where the quality of the digital signal is poor, due to either a shitty cable, or a really long cable. This leads to a poorer picture and worse sound quality. Thus better cables in some cases will improve the quality.

When we tried getting satellite they said there was no where they could put it that could get good signal. I find this hard to believe considering some neighbors have it. Your thoughts?

They are for reading and controlling minds

maybe? MAYBE?? thats all you got? a maybe? you suck

Please explain. Friend.

Is it connected to the internet when in use?

ever encounter any horny or half naked females during installations? ever steal anything from a customers home? ever thought about it?

How do you feel that while you're out fixing satellites, your wife or gf is fucking other guys?

HDMI signals degrade after about 20 meters, so you buy a booster, not stupidly priced cables...

download what you want to watch from the internet

set up plex

stream it

or just use a streaming site

No. HDMI is a digital standard. Either it works or it doesn't- a defective cable can cause problems but even if you spend a thousand dollars(yes there are thousand-dollar HDMI cables) you will not see one single iota of improvement over a normally working, current $5 amazonbasics one.

They only had cables exactly three inches too short or fifteen feet too long. This is a universal rule of cable length in the field.

Sorry, Its all the talk of hummus

Yes, I have thought about horny or half naked females during installations many times.

yup.ive made just about every one of those flatbreads..and those piggies look damn good .
as for me ..today i made pic related

Yep, streaming all the time. I'd never go back

Satellite technicians are always in need due to the turnover of the job. I gross over 50K, and I find the job super easy.

I fucked two customers and got a blow job from one. Wives really are lonely at home sometimes. It's good to be good to your customers when possible.

I'm good with that, she's a fucking awful fuck so she can do with the practice.

this right here folks is a prime example of too much porn..

Do you have trees that may be blocking line of sight unlike your neighbors?

You're talking about Kodi. It's neat and all, but definitely not the same thing. Not a softcam BTW. Just someone who has a subscription, streaming the channel over the internet. They periodically get shut down because it gets traced back to their subscribed card.

fuck yeah! My wife calls it "kimbap" She makes it fairly regularly. Life is good with my little korean. She works her ass off. She even enjoyed the pigs in blankets though- but not the huge mess I made. I gave those things to family and friends around the neighborhood.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

I used to have a 5 meter HDMI cable that suffered from poor signal. Very noticeable when I had my PC hooked up to it while dragging around windows.

post pics of korean waifu or it didnt happen

The one on the right looks like Kimbab, not the one on the left.

I guess the quality of the cable is what i am referring to. The stock hdmi we hand out is pretty fucking brittle.

yeah it's far fetched to think a teen girl maybe dressed down at home, or that a meth whore skank maybe twitching around somewhere

nice mate...i also seem to give out more food to neighbors and friends than what i keep..

How was it initiated?

youtube.com/watch?v=GKY--qaHWSw

Shit yeah, we do have more trees surrounding the house than they do. Guess I'm stuck with cable

youtube.com/watch?v=LQUXuQ6Zd9w

Well, first of all, he fell asleep......

a rag and some chloroform

They're probably locking onto one satellite. That looks a little bigger than what any internet or tv service provider uses however.

Hey OP, Fellow Dish installer here.
What office are you out of? Or are you one of those shit subcontractors? If that's the case kill yourself.

3 sexual encounters in 6 years, and literally over a thousand customers. It's not great numbers, and usually i was too busy or not interested to play. But, when you're there for over an hour and get to talk freely while installing, you find out a lot about women. It's no different than going to a bar and talking, but you are in her house already. So, go figure.

You're employed, and you're there either fixing broken service or installing new service, so you're in good standing already.

Talking is how it is initiated.

I'm in the northwest region. Yourself?

How do they get you up into orbit to work on the satellites?

Like I said, I don't have any TV servies. However, I've stood between cable/satellite installers and a friends house after having installed everything for them.

Installer: Ah needs tuh put the wahrs
Me: Everything's done. GTFO
Installer: But the wahrs need tuh be all over. I makes muhney from the wahrs
Me: No, it's already been done correctly. You aren't getting your grimy hands on this house.
Installer: But ah needs tuh put the wahrs to the picher box and the teevee.
Me: *slap* Bad wire monkey. Get back in your truck and go bother somebody else.
Installer: But mah paypers. Yew needs tuh scratch on mah paypers weeyuth wunna theyem sticks what makes mahrks
Me: This paperwork says that a lot of things happened that didn't actually happen. I'll sign nothing until you bring me something that isn't full of lies.
Installer: ahmma tell momma on yew
Me: You do that.
Installer: Yew aint nahs *sob*
Me: On this we agree.

The service worked perfectly, BTW.

What Liverpool?

Cred Forums space program

cont'd: Our demanded metrics are minimum 3.5 completed jobs per day, so you can see how often you meet people. At least half of them are the wife at home alone. I love meeting new people, and I'm not shy, so I look back and think about all the times I could have had sex on the spot and did not.

Do you think I care or something?, why are you telling me this?

It's a C band satellite. need bigger dish to pick up bandwidth. Either motorized to pick up more than 1 satellite, or fixed to stay on one.

All home satellite used to be like this.

South Central. Oklahoma more specifically.
Whats the standard dish you guys use up there? WA or EA? We use WA

Old Skool Kool then.

do you ever put your dick on the dish?

I've minorly flirted but never wanted to come off as someone hitting on her in her own home. Always worried about it coming back to management. Also, i don't seem to deal with that many attractive customers lol

is there any workaround getting local channels in an area you do not live in, but live close to?

WA too

how can i pick up alien signals faggot OP?

Only on sunny wednesday afternoons

tapu tapu tapu

I thought you did already.

Because this is the average interaction I've had with your kind. You can come on here and act like some kind of knowledgeable professional, but in the field you're all useless.

It goes by the zip code attached to your account. So if you change the zip code and you are looking at the correct satellites, then yes.

WA. We can't even use EA here. How have you been enjoying Hopper 3 international jobs?

Will my satellite break if I hang myself on it

'my kind', fuck you. Prick. How the fuck do you know how I work?, you are just guessing and failing.

>I've minorly flirted but never wanted to come off as someone hitting on her in her own home.

I didn't in any of the cases we sexed. I was in a house one time and the woman started fingering herself beside and to the rear of her husband who was standing directly in front of me talking to me. It was the weirdest shit I ever saw in my life.

I did not return to that one or explore it more.

It seems like a lot of people have really fucked up dirty homes too - especially native Americans.

How much do you weigh?

your a gigantic faggot. and an idiot. and one of those people who thinks they know something that they dont.

Well you've had some shitty experiences obviously. There are dumb fucks in any field of work. And unfortunately they do represent us, but I can promise you there are technicians who know their shit and actually take pride in doing quality work.

My guess would be that you pick up alien faggots the same way you pick up faggots normally.

It depends on how well it is installed, and how tight the bolts are on the support. Do a quick check by wrenching on them before exploring hanging yourself. You can test the weight capabilities with a rope and some other dead weights, and support the set up better if necessary.

Call your satellite TV service provider if you have any problems or questions related to suicide.

What would be the best solution to getting high speed internet in the middle of nowhere

A directtv dish with struts and on a stud? No. A dish network dish not mounted on a stud? Quite possibly.

I totally agree with you, even though it's you're

space signals

Satellite internet is most likely your only option. I wouldn't bother with Dishnet.

Like I said, space signals.

How often do you encounter spiders?

>high speed internet in the middle of nowhere

Run your own fiber out to the middle of nowhere. Satellite internet is anything (including expensive) but "high speed"

What comp do you work for?
Is it a good career path?
Any experience necessary?

Quite a bit where I work. Fuckers can be annoying. The worst is wasps and hornets though. They like to build their nests right in the dishes sometimes.

I hate to break it to you, but spiders are made up by communists such as Bernie and Hillary. You can tell spiders are made up, because black lives matter is funded by George Soros and the communist party USA.

Don't trust everything you see in the internet.

Dish.
I started at 14 dollars an hour and am now making over 22 an hour at just about 2 years in.
No experience necessary. They'll train you for a month.

Jew lies, some people will believe any old shite

Yeah. Because running a fiber to the middle of nowhere will be inexpensive...

Do you hate niggers?

how do you deal with them?
Are you in confined spaces when you encounter them?

I think user was having a laugh

Thank you for replying.

I shall try to get a job with Dish

>What comp do you work for?
I work for Pratt and Whitney satellite service
>Is it a good career path?
It is if you don't mind paying a lot of taxes for publicly provided services and regulation you don't want or need.
>Any experience necessary?
A theology degree helps

Nah, not at all. Are you a fucktard?

We carry spray. I really hate those fuckers and so sometimes I'll waste 30 minutes of install time spraying and running and repeating until I'm comfortable working on a ladder next to them.

Usually you're outside, so not confined.

I've never met anybody with cable TV in the UK, is it really big in america? Everyone here either has terrestrial antennas or satellite dishes if they're rich or on benefits

Any good stories?

Had to know. Just a guy sitting on Cred Forums watching Django unchained.

Literally everyone in the states has cable tv.

>Because running a fiber to the middle of nowhere will be inexpensive...

Listen, honestly, it would save you money over the long run - seriously. Fiber optic is not that expensive. It's the mux that is slightly expensive (and renting or buying the easement to install it on)

Once it is installed, it will be no more expensive than having it in a big city. Explore it first before knocking it.

...

the job descriptions mention having to go through crawl spaces
how often do you go through crawl spaces, especially ones you believe have spiders/bees?

There is quite a bit of cable in The UK, I've seen it in leeds and Milton keynes. its the same as sky but shitter

oh, ok, I was just asking. Enjoy the movie.

It can't be more than a few hundred miles from the nearest ISP, right?

On phone so fuck greentext

>fellow technician arrives to young couple's town home for a new connect.
>good looking couple in late 20s
>Technician puts ladder up on backside of house and starts to climb
>Couple had positioned themselves on kitchen counter right in front of window where ladder was
>Couple is fucking, and grin at technician.
>Technician tries to pretend like he didn't see, finishes work and goes back to front of house and opens door to download receiver.
>couple move to living room rough and continue to fuck
>They ask technician to join
>Techician doesn't want to cheat on wife and finishes job as the couple fucked the entire time.

In an arithmetic series, the terms of the series are equally spread out. For example, in
1 + 5 + 9 + 13 + 17, consecutive terms are 4 apart. If the first term in an arithmetic series is
3, the last term is 136, and the sum is 1,390, what are the first 3 terms?
A. 3, 10, 17
B. 3, 23, 43
C. 3, 36 1
3 , 70
D. 3, 69 1
2 , 136
E. 3, 139, 1,251

To be fair, I only know one person that still has sky and thats only because they got given a hacked box or something so they pay nothing. There's really no point now smart tv's are affordable.

But you green texted.

I'll never run new cables into a crawl space because fuck crawl spaces. I probably go in 1 or 2 a week but it's usually just to remove another provider's splitter and put in our own. I'd rather be in a hot attic all day.

Yep, its all dead now. The big TV companies are fucked.

...

Just sayin.

He could have at least rubbed one out. That was clearly a live porn.

It seems crazy at first, and certainly not a social norm, but it's really nothing to get upset over. Be thankful, enjoy and move on.