Hey Cred Forums, I've got this shitty fucking keychain from my bitch ex. I don't know where else to turn...

cum on it

Shit on it. If you can't shit, insert in ass.

Installer: Ah needs tuh put the wahrs
Me: Everything's done. GTFO
Installer: But the wahrs need tuh be all over. I makes muhney from the wahrs
Me: No, it's already been done correctly. You aren't getting your grimy hands on this house.
Installer: But ah needs tuh put the wahrs to the picher box and the teevee.
Me: *slap* Bad wire monkey. Get back in your truck and go bother somebody else.
Installer: But mah paypers. Yew needs tuh scratch on mah paypers weeyuth wunna theyem sticks what makes mahrks
Me: This paperwork says that a lot of things happened that didn't actually happen. I'll sign nothing until you bring me something that isn't full of lies.
Installer: ahmma tell momma on yew
Me: You do that.
Installer: Yew aint nahs *sob*
Me: On this we agree.

The service worked perfectly, BTW.

Swallow it

roll

Reroll

draw a penis on it

winrar

Put it up your ass

Winrar

Pooper

rolling

Japan is an island by the sea which is filled with volcanoes and it's beautiful! In the year -1,000,000,000, Japan might not have been here. In the year -40,000, it was here and you could walk to it and some people walked to it. Then, it became warmer, some icebergs melted, it became an island and now there are lots of trees! (because it's warmer.) So now, there's people living on the island. They're basically just sort of hanging out inbetween the mountains, eating nuts off trees and using the latest techology like stones and bowls. Ding-dong! It's the outside world and they have technology from the future like really good metal and crazy rice farms. Now, you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, you own a lot of food which is something everybody needs to survive so that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here, here, here, here, here, here and here, but this one was the most most important, ruled by a "heavenly superperson" or "Emperor" for short. Knock-knock. Get the door, it's religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from Baekje. "Please try this religion." he said. "No." said everybody. "Try it!" he said. "No." said everybody again, quieter this time. And so, the religion was put into place and all the rules had came with it. Then, the government was taken over by another clique and they made some reforms, like making the government govern more and making the governmant more like China's government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi, dipshit." said China. "Can you call me something else other than dipshit?" said Japan. "Like what?" said China. "How about Sunrise land?" said Japan. And they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book about themselves and then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves.

op now deliver you faggot

Here you go Cred Forumsro

OP you better deliver

Throw it into a skillet or pan of some sort on high and cook it with all of the salt you have

Re-roll

Re-re-roll!

Re-re-re-roll!!!

Re-re-re-re-roll!!!!!

Keychain in pooper

microwave (obviously without the metal bit)

Roll

Dude cum on it wait it to dry and di it again. Cum on it so much that it's enveloped in a cum cocoon and put it in one of those ring boxes "the fancy shit they pop open to get married in movies" and leave it in her mail box

Re-re-re-re-re-roll!!!!!!!

Rolling

Winraaaar

Is OP gonna deliver or be a faggot?