Retarded family members thread, be it literally or not, share your stories

>Lilbro and girls coming up next.
Bump

be me flunk out college, work at a gas station, go insane stop caring for myself, take a vocational school drop out of it. live at home at 26 years old. filthy fucking hygiene habits. nigga i am the retard of the family

more!

I bet there's a lot of you on Cred Forums. It's never too late to change

I'd beat the shit out of him and get him to stop if he was my brother. I hope you understand that you've failed as an older brother.

Your brother needs to be gassed.

for christ's sake
please learn to greentext, this is painful to read

>lilbro and girls
>one day lilbro becomes sentient, stops being as random
>he does more group work in school and talks to more people
>he starts hanging around a group of friends, over half of which is girls
Now at this point you'd think "ah well he got better", I'm afraid he didn't.
>they like girly things, they watch hannah montana and the like
>lilbro starts watching it too
>starts talking like a girl
>things are "icky" and if he is moving the dustbin in, he goes "eww eww eww eww eww"
>turned out this wasn't even close to the worst of it
>lilbro knows he likes girls at this point, but he doesn't know how to act
>he would cry if the girls didn't acknowledge him
>he would cry if he was talking to a girl, and she would stop talking to him so she could talk to a guy
>he was teen drama
>they pretty much stuck around him because my parents would give him money to take them to McDick's
>my parents basically funded the girls' days out
>parents decide to give him an allowance instead
>he decides to spend this allowance on WoW
>spends his free time playing WoW, tries talking to girls about WoW, he doesn't get it but we hope he will stop acting like a girl
>he decided to confess to another 14yo that he loved her
>the girl who was dating the 14yo rugby prodigy
>lilbro challenged him to a fight
>apparently he studied hand to hand combat in WoW
>lilbro comes home with a swollen face
>told not to contact the girl again by my parents
>lilbro still texts her
>gets his arse kicked again
>tells us "she will realise I love her more than he does one day"
>parents move him to another school and take his phone from him
More coming up

Can I ask what his name is?
Feel free to contribute your own stories

>I'd beat the shit out of him and get him to stop if he was my brother. I hope you understand that you've failed as an older brother.
I tried many things including hitting him, bribing him and even paying my friends to point him in the right direction, he was a lost cause while my parents told him whatever he did was right, I got punished for "trying to socially cripple" my brother.

He's not so bad now

This is utter cringe, keep it coming.

I have a friend like this. Beatings don't help. Being shown negative consequences doesn't help, there's someone saying its positive. He dlready feels bad, beating him won't help. The enablers balance it out by making him feel good about it, they need to stop.

This guy sounds like a literal fucking retard

Fair enough. Sounds like it's your parents fault.

Unfortunately nothing will stop it until they stop, and then it might be too late.

Same shoes here op

Gtfo

This is fucking gold.

HURRY UP AND POST MOAR OP!

...

Bumpity

I hope someones saving these

>lilbro moved to a new school in the next town and made new friends
>as he was an outsider he was a lot more careful
>he makes new friends
>(he claims he is) not being "random"
>one day parents get a phone call
>lilbro got hospitalised
>he got kicked in and thrown over a wall
>the wall had a 10ft drop the other side
>we ask why it happened
>"bullies"
>he got a kicking but never thrown over a wall
>we later find out that he thought he would be spontaneous (so much for not being random) and grabbed a girl to dance
it's worth noting he can't dance and never had lessons
>the girl didn't know he was going to dance with her
>he tried doing ballroom or some shit, tried putting his arm around her back but instead grabbed her tit
>she screamed
>lots of people saw
>lilbro got fucked up
more coming up (bumping)

Is your brother fudge? This sounds like it came out of a fucking Beverly Clearly book Op. 10/10 thread

BUMP

Bump

keep it coming, these stories might become a "the best of Cred Forums" on par with classics as "Fats Mc'gee and the retard three" if this shit keeps up.

Keep going OP.

Type faster OP holy shit

Good oll fats McGee, what a classic

Bumping

>lilbro broke an arm, some ribs and fractured his hip from the fall
>he spends a while in pain, but gets better and is moving around before we know it
>lilbro goes back to school
>one day the police show up at our door
>lilbro got hit by a car and is off to hospital
>what the fuck
>found out that lilbro was walking to the bus stop and decided to show off
>he had a half eaten sandwich in his bad and decided to throw it at a passing car
>obviously the plan was half baked, he threw it at the car and the driver stopped
>so lilbro ran to a field, the driver decided to get back in the car and chase him
>the driver basically ran over lilbro
>but by some miracle lilbro came out with no permanent injuries
>labelled himself "the mechanic" despite doing nothing to fix the car

Bump

Someone needs to start screencapping

Go on OP...

...

Keep em coming op

>the mechanic

I found that last line pretty funny

slow op is slow

bump

>lilbro finishes school and starts studying further education
>he keeps to himself for the most part, but is still noticeably weird
>he makes some friends
>gets invited to a birthday dinner and drinks at a restaurant
>lilbro goes
>comes back complaining that he was hungry
>why didn't you eat you mug?
>"I didn't have any money"
>why not?
>"I didn't ask mum and dad for cash"
>why not?
>"because I wanted to be independent"
>lilbro had some cash, but only enough to buy himself a coke
>didn't even buy the birthday boy a drink
>he just sat at the table and didn't eat
>oh for fuck's sake
>"by the way, there's a taxi outside"
>so?
>"I haven't paid him, I told him you would
>the taxi was sat outside for 5 minutes still on the clock
>I pay
>I ask lilbro to pay me back
>"why would I pay? you paid for me"

How fucking mentally retarded is lilbro
>Get hit by a car
>"fuck ye,imma call meself de mekanhic

>little brother is 18
>Obsesses over Naruto
>Gets the full orange Naruto costume thing and even draws whiskers on his face
>He goes out in public like this
>Little brother is also fucking crazy
>Get call from our mom, bro got arrested
>"u wot m8?"
>Turns out someone took the piss out of him in the street for wearing that autistic crap
>Brother turned into the incredible hulk who just downed a full bottle of rageohol
>Beat up said guy then slammed his head into the concrete floor repeatedly
>Little brother is 6'3" and possesses viking strength when mad
>The guy didn't press charges, probably because he got beat up by some autist in an orange jumpsuit with whiskers painted on his face

>I pay
>I ask lilbro to pay me back
>"why would I pay? you paid for me"

Really sorry, but you were the retarded here.

>"why would I pay? you paid for me"

mein gott, I would kill him for that

It not OP?

True.

fucking newfags

>The guy didn't press charges, probably because he got beat up by some autist in an orange jumpsuit with whiskers painted on his face

Same guy here, I'm beginning to think your brother it's kinda a superior specimen, our society is just not prepared for him.

shit nigger

Yeah op has been slower typing the others

Fucking loved that story anyone got it saved?

Nope different writing style. Still good though

I love that greentext series.

Yeah , someone give it pls

I might try and animate it

Its a different user. Check the size difference or the tards, closeness of posts and "lilbro" vs "little brother"

How was he the retarded one?

That's what I thought

Get the hell out with that fats mcgee shit, want more lilbro stories. These are a glimpse of just how good your life is compared to OP with Cpt Aspy over in the coner

More?

I do have two super strange nephews (11 and 14 year old now) who'd be frustrating as fuck to deal with when they were younger.
>Family dinner
>10y old nephew got a new bike
>Hyped as fuck
>Nice nephew, let's go for a ride
>He demands that I don't drive my own bike and just stand there and watch how he drives through the Appleyard in circles.
>Such big circles you couldn't see the brat for a minute or two sometimes
>He finishes the entire tour
>Nice Nephew, let's go back in...
>NO ANOTHER ONE
>Sigh
>He drives off before I could reply
>Fuck this I'm going inside
>Eating
>Nephew shows up, pissed as hell
>YOU DIDNT WATCH ME RIDE
>I did Nephew, for 15 minutes
>YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO WATCH
>No, I said that I was going inside and you drove off
>screaming begins
>Fuck this brat
>/ignore
>BANG
>WTF?
>The brat hit me on the back of my head with his mother's purse
>He starts hitting his own mother with her own purse while she tries to take it away
>K fuck this shit
>Take purse out of his hands
>Godsmacked him once with the purse
>Bang was so loud everybody turned silent
>He doesn't stop screaming, he keeps hitting me and his mother
>Dad arrives
>Little brat immediately shuts up, becomes extremely fearful of his dad
>user what did you do?
>Explain what happened
>I'm sorry user, we don't know what it is with him sometimes. I just don't get it why he "freaks out" so much.
>Parents proceed to act as nothing happened
>They know all too well he's such a frustrating kid to deal with.

For real? Interested in why you don't think about that acting retarded.

This is a good thread.

The autism levels are strong with this one.

>Godsmacked him once with the purse

Not OP. I just happen to have a crazy brother also

Another story
>Brother is now 20 years old
>Has developed a lazy eye and grown a full viking beard
>His obsession with anime and online gaming has turned him into something else entirely
>He now dresses like a biker and gives everyone a creepy stare. (He looked crazy, one eye would be wide open and fixated on you and the other would be just kinda looking down instead)
>He has changed his name to something Japanese, I forget what it was
>Has started carrying something he can use as a weapon now
>He gets into a fight with some guy in the street, no idea what it was about
>little bro pulled out an Xbox 360 controller, clenched it in his fist and proceeded to beat said guy over the head with it
>I wasn't there but apparantly he split the guys head open
>Police recommend a psych evaluation
>Comes back as totally normal
>wtf.jpg
>Tried to stab me in the neck the next day. Still don't know why, I was just visiting home. he was on his computer, suddenly raged at the monitor and grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer

So he shouldve just not pay the taxi?

The last part for you all
>lilbro gets a job and moves out
>turned out he was pretty good with numbers and accounting
>he gets a job and makes decent money
>one day he moves out to a flat
>a really impressive flat near the town centre
>like holy shit this must be expensive
>lilbro is living like a king
>something doesn't add up
>he is eating from domino's pizza twice a week
>he has satellite TV
>he had super fast internet
>he has all sorts of magazine subscriptions, new furniture
>I point this out to my parents
>"don't be so jealous of your brother"
>I ask lilbro how much he is making, because he says he puts in extra hours
>"£17k a year"
That's about £1200 a month, his overtime earned him maybe an extra couple of hundred a month if they needed him
He was paying £650 a month on rent, before council tax, bills and other things
That's not a whole lot of money left over
>I ask how he affords the nice things he has
>"credit cards and buying things on finance"
>he was hedging his bets on earning more in a year's time when he needs to start payments
>a year passed
>lilbro got a wonga loan (1,177% APR) to keep up with expenses he couldn't afford
>lilbro spiralled into debt
>lilbro lost his job due to his circumstances and had to move back in with my parents
>parents were the guarantor on his flat
>they are paying for a flat he can't afford to live in
>bailiffs come around and take parents things to pay lilbro's debts because lilbro legally lives there
>lilbro criesthat they can't take his 50"TV away while they take my mum's ipad car and other things away because they don't have receipts proving they own them

Lilbro now draws jobseekers allowance (welfare) now and lives in a bedsit, he can't be bothered to work, he got so fat he claims disability too, meaning he can't be made to do work experience that involves standing for long periods of time, and his hygiene was so bad no customer facing jobs want him, he gets to the internet by sitting outside businesses

lilbro doesn't afraid of anything

He shouldn't encourage that kind of behavior. The problem was the parents making him being incapable to solve conflict. He did just the same.

Also he should have known.

If this is true I honestly feel bad for him.

Holy crap man im concerned for your bro

SOMEONE SCREEN CAP THIS

This got depressing real fast.

Holy fucking shit, sometimes parents' love for their children is unconditional.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...

Facecheck with reality; retards most of times turn out poor.

What a fucking retard

Have younger cousin, he was 17 when this happened

>Cousin is a major racist, supports neo-nazi party...is also a MLP faggot
>Constantly calls people from his school niggers
>Called a black guy a nigger to his face in class one day
>Darkey freaks out and cousin is suspended
Fast forwards a few days
>I start dating a nice girl but she is a little slow
>She posts something on my facebook, cousin responds
>She misunderstood something he posted and he went silent
>I take her to meet my family when we are having a family reunion
>cousin walks up to her and says "I remember you. You are so fucking stupid, if I were in power, I'd send you to a "special camp" with the other retards"
>The girl leaves a few minutes later, nobody noticed what he said, nobody said anything.
That was the first person from my family she ever spoke to. We broke up the following week.

Lets not immortalized this anons brothers misfortune

Wtf has that to do with the taxi? Are you trolling or just retarded?

>How fucking mentally retarded is lilbro
Doctor said he was just acting weird, lilbro is just a prime example of poor parenting

>Really sorry, but you were the retarded here.
I know, I told my parents and they repaid me in the end.

I'd lost all hope for him, hitting him didn't work

>These are a glimpse of just how good your life is compared to OP with Cpt Aspy over in the coner
Savage

He is only work shy now

>If this is true I honestly feel bad for him.
Being someone who is responsible for money, he should have known better.

>Holy crap man im concerned for your bro
Worst case scenario he'd try and kill himself, knowing him, he would probably fuck up or give up half way into it because it takes effort.

>This got depressing real fast.
Yeah, sorry about that, unfortunately there is no happy ending for lilbro that I can see

>Holy fucking shit, sometimes parents' love for their children is unconditional.
The funny thing is, I'm the kid my parents blamed for everything, I kind of resent them for it to this day.

If any of you have any questions or want any specific experiences, bring up a topic and I'll probably have something relevant to it.
Before anyone asks, no, he didn't go to his school prom.

...

I got a story of my cousin
> i'll just call him Elvis
> at the time he was two years old
> has really shitty parents
> he comes over to our house
> immediately he starts cursing like a sailor
> tell him to shut up
> he slaps his ass and says shut up and fuck
> his mom says "where did you hear that from"
> he looks down and quietly says "Ronald McDonald"
should I be worried

That's just sad

Why didn't you kick the shit out od him on the spot?

Holy hell I share an island with this guy...

I would've beaten the shit out of him

erase him

I honestly don't know. I think I was in shock that he would say something like that. It was likely to do with how calmly he said it.

imgur.com/a/Tzybo

The lilbro Saga

Someone stitch the pics up if they feel like it.

First try screencapping something

>Be me
>be 10yo a few years back
>have 15yo older brother
>morningtime before school
>see him picking nose
>tell him there is a spider on his forehead
>he wipes a big dirty snot onto his forehead
>dosent notice the snot on his forehead
>says "wut du u mean, ther noo spieder there manee"
>we go to school
>his based classmates don't tell him about the snot but they just laugh
>He comes home
>mom says "omg anons brother, why have you not cleaned that off your face, it's disgusting"
>he looks in mirror and gets a fit of anger
>comes looking for me
>argues until dad breaks up fight
>next day I blow my thick with snot nose into his wool hat
>see him come home angry, someone mustve told
>another arguement,dad stops it and i promise to stop
>because of me,the whole school bullied my brother for it for the rest of his time in school
>lel

>6th grade
>user we want to send your little bro to a private school, could you go for a year to see if it would be good to him
>private school is dope af
>next year, I stayed for the final year since I had awesome friends there
>little brother gets to introduce himself in front of entire school
>recites full name, middle and all
>points at me like I'm possessed
>AND HE'S MY BROTHER
>hands off mic
>walks away

Fuck I miss that school. Pic related. It's him.

How many years ago was this. I may know this man

...

fuCKing AWESOME thRead OP GJ FAM

>drive my own bike
Welsh bastard

...

What about u OP are u doing ok?

Doing God's work user

>should I be worried

no shit

Do you live in Ireland?

meh, decent way to introduce yourself i guess rather than just looking like a dumbass

You're still a faggot, good thread though had a laugh, you got any more stories?

>b

>dude check out this like 400 dollar game system not even out in america
>cool, a "PSP"?
>yeah man! It's like a ton of money
>can i borrow it?
>sure!
who the fuck thinks like this

yes

>What about u OP are u doing ok?
I've always had work since I was 13, be it a paper round or a part time job.
By the time I was 18 I had an office job and was saving money, I moved out when I was 19 to get away from how toxic my family was, I've always had some sense about me and saved money. If there has been anything I didn't understand I'd check wikihow or youtube videos.
I've taught myself stuff like shaving and other stuff, I'd say I'm doing ok, better than lilbro.

>we broke up the following week

Why?

She had to go to camp

Kek

>"she will realise I love her more than he does one day"
HNNNNNNNGGGGGGg

quite a few, nothing that doesn't fit into the dysfunctional growing up he had.

>who the fuck thinks like this
Lilbro.

I figure he was desperate to make friends, he was never concerned with what he (or rather my parents) could afford, if someone acknowledged him and didn't bully him he thought they were friends.

I am screencapping as you speak lmao

i thought you were doing well until you listed "learning to shave" between your accomplishments

You should have beaten the fuck out of him user, somebody needs to teach him a lessom

I'll tell you guys about my retard lilbro (he is just weird not mentally handicapped or some shit)

>back in my childhood
>lilbro about 3 years younger than I am
>sister who's 3 years older than me
>lilbro always started to taunt me and my sister by trying to diss us.
>we were always better at it and dissed him much harder
>he then would start to cry and run to our parents
>our parents would blame us because he is the youngest and we kinda teamed up against him, but that is because he started trying to diss us
>this went on for years
>my sister and I we both moved out
>lilbro still lives with parents and has a lazy ass job in a warehouse
>visiting my parents and my sister was also visiting
>sitting down with the whole family and lilbro starts trying to diss us again, so we diss back ofcourse
>parents get mad because we verbally corner him
>old enough to argue with parents, because they can't ground me or anything, also financially independent
>tell them that since the beginning of eternity he's starting these disses and that they fall for it everytime
>they say something stupid like: yea but it's always 2 against 1
>then I said that it's his own fault for starting to taunt us both
>then they say like yea you know how it is
>I left and told them I was not going to sit there and do this and that he should know by know what the consequences of his actions are
>mfw I haven't had any contact with my parents because of this retarded dick

Not poster but isn't that quite obvious? The first time you meet your BF or GF's relatives they start harassing you for absolutely no reason. They share the same blood, why take the risk? And chances are if you get married you'll have to deal with racists for the rest of your life. Fuck that shit.

>meet family member of BF

>He's an ass hole

>HARRASSMENT!!!!!1111

Holy shit, breaking up with someone over something their family member did is childish as fuck. Pathetically so.

kek

The classic:

Not at the moment but I did at 1 point

This is a friends brother

>Me and group of friends sitting at lunch table in highschool
>Friends brother is there with us, we will call him Weirdo
>Weirdo has been sick today but didn't go home. Food poisoning, no idea how the school let him stay in
>He's a little weird but we don't care
>Someone sitting next to us makes an off-hand remark about Weirdo being ginger and having no soul
>Weirdo goes silent
>the guy asks us to watch his lunch as he has to take a piss
>as he is gone, Weirdo slides his hand down the back of his pants, rubs his finger between his ass crack
>When he pulls it out, it is slightly brown...he then proceeded to rub it in this guys mac 'n cheese
>Friends did not notice, I kept silent out of curiosity
>Guy comes back and eats his lunch
>Got sick the next day, had to go home from school
>We don't see him for a week
>Turns out he vomitted so much that he ruptured his esophagus or some shit. Had to have surgery
>Still haven't said a word about it

>The funny thing is, I'm the kid my parents blamed for everything, I kind of resent them for it to this day.
at times first kid is made form a mistake and the next one is the most anticipated. this is the case, I think.

Can you remember your first time shaving?
I'm not talking about using an electric shaver, I tried using a razor blade.
Like most people my first time I managed to cut myself plenty of times and give myself razor burn, I never knew to use hot water or shaving gel, mostly because I never watched anyone shave.
I looked like I got face raped by edward scissorhands, I went to work looking like that, I read up to find where I was fucking up and learned that way.

My parents were too busy wrapping lilbro in cotton wool to pay me any attention, I had to buy my own clothes, pay for school trips and treat myself while I was in school.
It's all well and good when your dad taught you how to do it right, but I didn't have that luxury, I've had managers that I treated more like father figures than my own dad.

Random story of lil cousin
>Be me, 15
>Lil cousin 13 REALLY likes scooters
>Gets stunt scooter
>Falls and says to mum that it was "my fault"
>Say no he's the retard that tried to jump over a concrete wall
>Says I pushed him
>Mum doesn't believe
>Out couple days later
>Doing shit IDK
>Asks if I saw that say "Na mate yer shite"
>Punches my face
>kick the shit out of him and go home (gave him money for the bus home so it's fine)
>Mum comes down next day says I "nearly killed him"
>Ask why he isn't in hospital then
>Says I'm going to burn in hell
>My mum finds out
>Tell her my side she's like cool
>Fast forward 4 weeks holidays over at school
>I have to supervise his class when teacher left
>Starys throwing shit tell him to stop
>Throws shit at me entire class laughs
>I say that I'm sick of his shit and throw my bag at him
>He's crying.Jpeg
>Whole class laughing
>Never done wrong again
I whipped him into line myself
>Hell yeah

The fucktard should have solved that situation for himself.

I am pretty sure I have read these lilbro stories before, or variants of them. Not saying OP is lying, just that he might have posted them before. Tempted to check any of the archives that art still up now.

>O how the mighty asperg have fallen.

Lol.
>Get in house
>Get harassed
>Family says nothing
>BF did nothing either
He was a beta cuck for not standing up for his GF and she made the right decision. End of story.

how old are you? because after a certain point, you realize that her parents count. my gf's mom is a feminist, thank god i never see her because i'm a terrible boyfriend and never visit her house, but when happens it's painful. and it's nowhere close as as having a NAZI MLP FAN in the family.

Do you?

>The fucktard should have solved that situation for himself.
The driver was waiting outside and my parents were out.
There wasn't a great deal I could do and I wasn't going to let the taxi driver call the police on lilbro.

OP here, it is getting late, I hope you all enjoyed hearing about lilbro, I'll hopefully see you in another thread.

You're a faggot for not being a bigbro to him. He needed that. Your a piece of shit.

dunno man, i can't remember it because i was 14 or some shit, but it was pretty easy and i never used an electric shaver.

>mfw OP is lil bro

ohshit

My mother's sister has spawned some retarded fucking children. Luckily she died of cancer, which she so did deserve, after she tried to have me and my siblings removed, because she was envious of my mother doing better in life than her.

Lets share a story of the man she chose to marry instead of her retarded children:
>wife dies
>feelsbadman for about 6 months
>meet woman
>heavy set girl, met her through online dating
>claims to be an opera singer (as in big time)
>claims to have millions, apartments all over the world (surewhynot.jpeg)
>never questions anything she says
>out eating, his treat
>months go by
>inlove.bat
>by now everyone in the family has been promised millions
>she obviously never showed anything
>she lent my aunt and uncle her lakehouse in northern denmark
>lakehouse MIA on arrival
>they drive back
>"I gave you wrong address"
>obviously not gonna fall for that
>dead aunts husband proceeds with relationship
>talking about buying a house
>1million dolla-ish by the sea
>she doesnt even co-sign documents
>they proceed to buy
>have their loanapplication denied
>tries to get away with it
>out of nowhere daughter of hers appear
>"yeah dont trust her, she's a liar"
>uncle proceeds to buy another house with her
>she gets institutionalized
>he is left with the full loan
>already bad at economy
>ends up going bankrupt
>marries her when she got out

I have even more stories about their fucking children, but that's more like highlights, as I don't really talk to them ever.

My god! Hes right!

>sister and her kids staying at me and my parent's house
>mom has friends over
>friends brought their kids
>some kind of small party or whatever
>intead to stay in room
>holy fuckkkkk am i hungry
>go to kitchen for snack
>aka where most of the party was thanks to food
>my nephew knew about our guests so like a normal human being
>he runs into the kitchen stark fucking naked
>people saw
>children saw
>i saw
>i just wanted a snack

>be me 13 and 14 in a month
>in 8th grade
>brother in 6th
>its a saturday i get haircut at barbershop
>bro offered haircut
>says "naw cuh" next to black barber(im white)
>monday comes and brothers hair is literally still a fucking rat tail miley cyrus hybrid
>several kids say something
>bro "roast's" other kids(generic look at you shoes)
>bro drops the "n" word in front of black football gods
>5 secs later bro is a pancake with strawberry syrup
>comes home tells parents that he was jumped
>identifies the niggs
>dad calls school
>gives names
>police are called
>officer smith talks to niggers and bro
>officer goes to turns and bro throws pocket knife at niggs(they catch it) and screams they have a knife
>officer smith turns(confederate flag flashing in his eyes)
>officer tases the kid with the knife screams at his friends
>mfw bro gets off scott free

Lel

Can i be in the screencap too :-)

>You're a faggot for not being a bigbro to him. He needed that. Your a piece of shit.
It's hard to do that when your parents are giving you shit for trying to help.
They thought he needed to flourish and learn for himself, I thought otherwise, I tried helping but kept getting shit for it.
You can only be grounded and have your shit taken from you as a punishment for so long, I tried getting my friends to help, I tried looking out for him, it was like trying to shovel snow during a blizzard.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not

Before I head off, I edited the screen cap from earlier and removed the other posts, hopefully you guys can help someone else, be it your lilbro or someone else' lilbro in the future.
It takes a village to raise a child, but only two shitty parents to tell them that being random is funny.

is this a based god arent's thread?

Op was not a faggot

Wtf end his life to ease the burdern on us other people who actually work

>Be me.
>Have two sisters and a brother.
>Sisters are almost opposite of each other, but they get along.
>Let's call them A and B.
>Little brother is weird.
>He is in middle school now.
>He was only 2 weeks in before he got bullied.
>Apparently was talking about porn sites like an autist.
>This was during later "The hacker called Cred Forums" days.
>"HE SAYS HE IS LIKE THE HACKER NAMED ANONYMOUS."
>Fuck. Even I wasn't that autistic.
>One day. He goes shopping with big sis
>Sis A, who is chill hippie decides to support his illusions while trying to make him understand capitalism.
>She is a Anarchism-communism whatever the fuck supporter.
>Thinks that hacking is EZ, and he'll be a big part in cyber warfare against America.
>Lilbro shows up downstairs with a turtleneck an trenchcoat. Along with an ugly ass square hat.
>Think Aidan Pearce if he had a retarded son.
>Goes to school.
>He apparently got in a fight with a black kid and stabbed his hand and his own hand with a pencil.
>What.jpg.
>I apparently have to go to the school.
>Sis B also comes. She was fresh back from the navy.
>He's sitting there while screaming about how he didu nuffin.
>Suddenly more shit.
>He tried to hack a computer by system 32 delete. I don't know how the fuck.
>He tried to fix it by hitting it.
>He stole someone's phone and tried to "hack" it by putting a USB filled with virus code in it.
>Of course it failed.
>Then we get to the good part.
>Someone wanted his trenchcoat. He sweared at them.
>And finally he pissed outside the urnials in the girls bathroom.
>Wait. What?
>There is no urnials in the grill bathroom.
>Ask what they mean.
>He pissed on some girl.
>Holy fuck my sides.
>It was apparently revenge because she wouldn't date him.
>Holy fucking kek.
>Drag his retard as back home. Sis B makes him do army drill stuff and if he didn't she would take money out his allowance.
>I'm not talking dime to dime.
>She grabbed a shit ton and started putting it in her jacket.
>Hear him screaming.

This is GOLD.
Anyway OP I know what's like to have a shitty dad too, mine is a schizo.
I know what's like to learn how to do shit for yourself that you should have been thought to do. It's all good bro, survival of the fittest I guess

Moar

Your brother sounds terrifying.

This.
She didn't break up with him because she got harassed. She broke up with him because he just let it happen like a bitch.

Don't worry about it fam, I'm 24 and earn £40k a year and I've only ever shaved electric, wouldn't know where to start manual, never got shown how

I can't believe I get this reference, but wow. Have one mildly retarded internet, user.

He's a slimy little faggot, but props for being a clever slimy little faggot.

I like you.

> tried putting his arm around her back but instead grabbed her tit
What

Bump

Don't see how he is retarded.

>Navy sis is big girl. 6'5.
>Lil bro is now in full retard mode in his last year of middle school.
>Anime phase. This was the worst.
>He ran around like naruto but was like doing dragon ball z shit. Now it's early 2015.
>Oh fuck. He even watches Tokyo Ghoul
>SHIIIIIEEEET.
>He made only a couple friends, but like an anime. They leave.
>Accidentally left Fate/Zero on for him.
>He is now some Kirei, Kaneki, Goku, hybrid.
>Listens to weebshit. And bullies an mlpfag.
>Navy sis goes and picks him up literally.
>She was walking by the school and saw him being an autist. So she grabbed him and fireman carried him to the office.
>Mlpfag is left alone for a while.
>Lilbro is still autistic, so he decides to apologize by making a bento.
>We made the bento.
>He becomes "allies" with mlpfag because they play smash.
>Then TROUBLE.
>Group of jocks bully the both of them.
>He wants CQC lessons from navy sis, she asks why.
>To be like naruto.
>Lol OK.
>Teaches him some tricks. Nothing actually serious.
>Next day
>Get call.
>He bested 4 out of 6 jocks who play football.
>WHAT THE FUCK?
>COME OVER THERE WITH BOTH SISTERS.
>He is bloody, but doing some weird knuckle crack thing.
>Apparently he was monologuing to the point where he kept getting rushed but he used CQC and anime to motivate him.
>I'm actually surprised a little faggot like him can do that.
>He is now just "The ghost" of school.
>He calls himself that and keeps getting rejected by girls, even after beating up 4 guys
>Eventually we catch him jerking off to a bundle of my sister's clothes.
>He cums out of fear as I walk in, his little dick shot hits Sis A.
>She is shocked and confused.
>He begins crying and pissing himself. Still stroking his dick.
>Navy sis comes in and looks dead inside.
>She has the 1,000 yard stare with Fortunate Son playing in the background.
>He is still stroking.
>Dad is pissed as fuck.
>Little Bro then steals navy SIS's panties.
>It didn't end well.

>he's British
For fucks sake why is this shit here I read the entire thing thinking it was some retarded amerifat

Pic of sis?
Seriously, I need to understand this.

Yeah, nah, you're the cunt.

Understand what? Big girl? Or common hippie going through anti america phase?
I don't understand user.

ohhhh man you should of beating the fuck outta the cunt

What's wrong with jerking off on sister's panties? I would do that all the time.

I need pics of both of them.
I don't understand what is so attractive to you lilbro cum to her.

My sister is a lot older than me. She spent the greater part of the last 30 years being a fuckup junkie. She's basically brain damaged from all of it and might have to get social security well before the age of 50 because she's unemployable. The thing is my parents are good people and we come from an upper middle class background.

It just keeps getting work

Ahahah thats a good tactic.

Dress as an autistic fuck or as a trap and beat the fuck outta someone. They'll be too embarrased to press charges

>tl;dr pls provide pic i can masturbate to
do you really expect him to send pic? are you retarded?

I think the people posting stories other than the OP are the retarded ones.

Fucksake you kids need to learn how to write a coherent story.

>is the retard of the family
>would take random bets in school to make money
>would do *anything*
>in middle school, stuck quarter up nose for $5 - had to go to hospital to have it removed
>in high school, had fights based on bets, expelled from two schools
>high school, 10th grade, was bet I wouldn't take 6 vicodin
>pass out w/ respiratory depression, get expelled and put in psych ward because they think I was trying to commit suicide
>finally get out of school, decide to stop being weird and go to college
>date goth chick who likes to be a dom
>pics of me get passed around school(Baylor Uni, huge school)
>was tied up on the front of my houseboat, naked
>leave school
>finish college online
>start working for large business, making $56k a year
>masturbating in bathroom after frustrating encounter with girl I worked with
>door apparently didn't lock correctly, my supervisor opens stall while I'm in there
>fired for inappropriate behavior at workplace
>two months later, no job, stressed out
>end up flipping my truck, prescribed steroids for major back injury
>steroids trigger mental illness
>now on antipsychotics and mood stabilizers, and is schizoaffective/bipolar and has seizures
What is wrong with me?

>be user, a fagit
>waste time writing a post about his much of a fagit you are
>solve captcha
>continue being a fagit
>also I fucked ur mum
>fagit
/story

wafflepwn is that you?

I don't want to masturbate to it. I just wanna fucking see it. I am with a feels thread here, and you can't jerk off with that.

>>mother calls the school and asks the teachers to tell students not to bully him

this is why your generation is a bunch of weak little faggots

>they take my mum's ipad car and other things away because they don't have receipts proving they own them

V5?
The registration on the vehicle, the registered keeper, the DVLA have that information, look on the insurance documents etc.
Nice story Cred Forumsro, but maybe the yanks don't see the holes in your story but I certainly do.
You can't claim any kind of benefits for being fat either, that is bullshit too.

>You can't claim any kind of benefits for being fat either, that is bullshit too.

Yes, you can. Not for being fat directly, but for back injury caused by being overweight.

How did your parents react to his downward spiral? And how did they react after that knowing that you tried to help him and they made him like this

>can't claim benefits for being fat
Dude I worked at Walmart when I was 18-23. Bull fucking shit

Are you in UK

I've got a fucking odyssey of tard.
> Be me, living in rural fuck-your-own-sister New York state.
> Hate the gays, as does everyone else
> Be in 5th grade
> There's this one kid who everyone thinks is gay
> He just dos weird shit, like try to pants other kids while they're changing, sounds gay, etc.
> School finds out he was born in San Francisco
Totallygay.wav
> People mock him relentlessly, but it never gets physical
> I should mention that this is a multi-year story, and yet he remains the same the entire fucking time
> Chubby, honestly double d masculine bosoms, just ugly as all hell
> Severe lisp, never gets past 5'1"
> Dwarfed by the enclave of Asians
> Anyway, the school has a talent show at the end of the year
> It gets so fucking hot in the summer time, here
> He decides to be a performer at the talent show
> His act is to reenact a scene from some anime, and then do a dance routine
> My friends and I are elated
> He can't find anyone else to act with him, so he goes at it alone
> What follows is 5 minutes of him jumping around, sweating his supple ass off, and screaming in half Japanese, half retard speak, until his song comes on
Literally who let this kid do this?
> As the music begins, we start to lose interest in his shenanigans
> He's doing his thing, singing along to "Eye of the Tiger" of all fucking things
> He doesn't know the words
You're only allowed to do your routine for at most 6 minutes, and his reenactment took up the majoriy of it, so the song cuts off half way through his display
> No one mercifully puts a bullet in his performance
> He is jumping around singing in silence, when he slips on a puddle of sweat, and is down for the count
> He gets carried off stage by the principle, the nurse, and his mom
It only gets worse in High school. More?

...

Where you from

GO FOR IT

Like you need to ask..

>ng hot in the summer time, here
>> He decides to be

Checked

Yes

What is up with your broken greentext? I'm not understanding.

> Be first year of high school
> After the talent show fiasco, his grasp on the world around him started to weaken
> Just cries whenever
> new kid from Raleigh turns up, and gets suspended the first day, because he thought tard was trying to get into his pants, and so he punched him in the stomach
> Edtardo goes to the principal, with his mom amd demands the kid's hesd on a TV diner tray with tendies
> In spanish class, first period, second day
> Tard walks in, limping the second he gets through the door, sits next to me, because my friend was pissing on the floor of the bathroom
> Spanish teacher is offensively hot
> Tard tries to talk to me, I deflect, and tell him to fuck off
Badmistake.jpeg
> Begins weeping, starts crying all over my shirt
> Rips ass
> Shits himself
> Teacher is horrified, sends us both to the nurse
> Tard gets sent home, I never get in trouble, which is pretty neat
> The next day, he sits else where
Not much happens that year because he's in only one class with me
> Tenth grade, however, shit gets real.
Over the summer, he has discovered Leafy is here. What happens over the course of the next year is etched into my mind
> I'm a fairly quiet guy, possibly a little autsy, but the pep rally at the end of spirit week is when I'm at my best
> Mostly because gutter trash drug dealer friend gets awful generous at this time of year
> Gives me LSD for $10
Shitwascash.gif
> Me and LSD bro sit at the back of the bleachers, in the gym, losing our shit
> havin' a swell time
> Tard is sitting in front of me, being gay
> Just saying everything is cancer, being total fag
> He's pretending to be an edgy outcast, as opposed to a gross tard
> There's some raffle for a gift card or some shit, and tard miraculously wins
> You can see the joy in his eyes
> He marches proudly down to the gym center, and recieves his reward
> As if he just punched out Mike Tyson, he launches his hands into the air, knocking out a cheeerleader behind him
(cont.)

You are bud bundy

For the love of god type faster

Bamp

I don't know why, but the end of that post reminded me of Punchout!!

Bumping

Corneredanimal.png
> Pisses himself
> Starts screaming my name
Wat
> I was looking at my friend's glasses, and freaking out, so was not prepared to be cursed by a retarded pagan ritual
> Do the sensible thing andd bolt out the back door of the gym, and hiding in the woods behind the school, until the assembly clears up
> Dodging school security like Rambo high on shitty LSD
> Finally, walk to friends house, get dropped off at my house
> The next day, the principal is waiting for me, pulls me into his office
> Tard and Tard prime are waitting there, for me
> Have to explain that I don't know why he started screaming my name
They ain't buyin' it
> Finally, tard admits I did nothing
Aww yiss
> gett dismissed
> Never find out why he screamed my name, too afraid to dig deeper
> Most of the school just though he nutted himself, and was thinking of me
Fast forward to halfway through the school year
> Do swim class in the winter, because it looks like the fucking apocalypse outside
> Not in his swim class, super stoked
> One day, he shows up anyway
To elaborate, in my school, because the gym teachers are godless pedophiles, they have both male and females swim together, because they enjoy the palpable sexual tension
> In his actual gym class, there's a girl he likes, yeah, apparently he's not gay, and is understandably afraid of showing her his supple rolls
> only wears speedos
> cock is fucking massive
> Literally wrapped around his side, as it cannot fit in his speedo
Areyoufuckingserious.mp3
> Kids are now a lot less keen on fucking with him
> As the swim unit goes on, he starts to get rebellious
> He decides that it'd be cool if he started flirting with the girls
Oy vey
> they're mostly terrified of his Clydesdale cock
> He's as smooth as you'd think he is
> one day, he gets in trouble for walking into the girls changing room with a boner
Gets suspended
> literally homeschooled for the rest of the year
Shit starts to descend into madness in 12th grade

Whoa, who is this?

The retards always tend to be the best at something.

you're painful to read, fucking cancer

OP, when people started bullying your lilbro about his spikey cool hairstyle, did he respond with: "I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMOREEEE!!!!"

.....maybe your lilbro found bliss in ignorance?

Or he could've shot up the school because he was ABOUT TO BREAK

Bump again

That you, Collin?
It's OB

There are a lot of minor events here, mainly that a hitlist is discovered in his agenda, along side crude anime renditions of those on his list
> I'm alerted that I make two appearances on his list
Thank god for liberal gun laws, amirite?
> He somehow convinces the school administration that the list was of people he was friends with, despite that the kid who punched him in the fupa, who we started calling The Colonel, due to his hatred of blacks, was at the top of the list
Shit gets real during the last stretch of escuela
> Get a girlfriend
> Start becoming more social, stop taking LSD at pep rallies, y'know, good guy shit
> Tard kind of disappears from my mind, as he's in mostly remedial classes, and I'm losing my nut hairs in AP classes
> Only see him in math, as it's his best subject, and my worst
> Cool because GF is there, too
> Overall, pretty neat class 8/10
> Around the time when prom starts to be brought up, tard becomes more... Aggressive
I liken it to an animal with inferior genetics, getting more desperate as all the fertile ovaries are being claimed.
> Asks my girlfriend if she wants to go out with him, right in front of me
> as he asks, he pisses himself
> exuding alpha radiation. He's at the top of his game
> She says no, and tells him to leave, as he actually pissed through his cargo shorts, onto her paper
> He won't take no for an answer
Apparently he's into redheads.
> I tell him to fuck off
> he starts to get flustered, making weird noises
> Punches me full force in the jaw
I'm not a weak guy, but I wasn't exactly expecting to take on The Italian Stallion's retarded offspring
> Fall on the floor in shock
> sit there for a second, just thinking about how I'm going to tear his man titties off him, and weaponize his fat reserves
> Get up, and stare at him
> Teacher intervenes before I commit a murder
> Both of us sent to the principal's office
> Teacher vouches for me
> Prom rolls around, he brings his mom

~Jamaica bump, that's what it is. ~Bumpin' for Jamaica

More stories please

>Get bored another day on one of my days off work since I'm working at a grocery store.
>My 13 year old lilbro got a "girlfriend" who lives 3 hours away that he used to go to school with
>See he's talking to one of the girls friends on kik
>apparently they got some weird love triangle thing that they're all in on since apparently it's just like their animes.
>Start reading this shit
>Ask him about it.
>I'm just jealous because I don't have a boyfriend, (fag here, not that it really matters) and not in a hot harem like he is.
>Ok bud
>Go outside to smoke one day and he's throwing some homemade knives.
>He's slowly turning into a fedora wearing guy who has steel folded over 1000 times
>He tells me his gf broke up with him.
>Tell him I'm not surprised and not to worry about it since he's 13 and that shit doesn't really matter
>Tells me she's the love of his life and if they're not together he doesn't know what he's going to do
>Gets the idea to stab himself in the feet and rub salt in the wound.
> Come down after a raid in wow and see him doing this.
> No sharp objects around him anymore.
Only a matter of time before I find here on his history.

I got more weird shit he does if anyone wants more.

Mia Sollis

>asshole gets his shit wrecked
>too pussy to do anything

...

Kek. The old "I totally would have beaten him down, but couldn't because excuses"

Keep telling yourself that.

...

Not family member but someone I know
Let's call him Jim
>Jim is skinny weird Asian kid who blurts out random horrible jokes in class
>figure out he has fanfic account
>is brony
>has 13 year old online gf
>find post mentioning that he "just loves gay emo porn and doesn't know why"
>literally posted something like that
>a kid who has mad scientist hair because he refuse's to cut it cause I told him he was balding in the 9th grade
>wears I'll fitting jeans and dad shoes
>one day ask him if he's down with the GEP or "gepp"
>has no idea
>several other people ask him and tell him they are pretty sure he's down with GEP
>check his fanfic account next day
>"what is gep"
>next day sitting near ethan
>explain gep to someone near
>someone says what is gep
>person spurts put "gay emotional porn?"
>Jim full fucking sprints away from table and jumps tiny wall
>Jim was incredibly fast
>his walking speed was somes running
>he ran 5 minute miles
>when we played basketball all he was good for was swatting shots and balls, but would miss every shot
"Was dubbed "the spider"

Got loads more of these if you're interested

Can't... stop... watching...

That's pretty much him.
I worry for him since he's got the social skills of a spoon. I mean I cleaned my act up in high school so maybe he will too.

Welp, I'm out. Going to deactivate my social media for a bit.

Unnecessary bump

Please continue, these are great

> During the Prom, he goes and finds some of his tard friends
What a fucking cast of characters, they are. They could easily warrant their own thread. One kid just eats shit off the floor, another kid is like 1/16 jewish, and wears a prayer shawl, and that goofy little head coaster.
> While the tard is busy, the mom disappears with the football team into the bathroom
Not sure if I mentioned this, but tard prime is 9/10 blonde milf
> Forget that she's being railed by half the school, and wander into the bathroom, to piss on the floor
> Take the urinal next to the first stall
The wall is literally fucking moving, as they fr*ck this tard mother's brains out
> Tell gutter trash friend
> He gets an idea
> Rounds up tard brigade, and picks my tard out of the gaggle
> Tells him that the girl he wants to smash (doesn't specify beyond that) is waiting in the bathroom for him
> Ecstatic, he marches over to the bathroom, and stands stock still in the gradually thinning line
> Friends and I go in behind him, and wait for the time bomb to explode
> Finally, it's his turn
> We're literally shaking
> Ome friends realizes how weird this is, and leaves to go dance with his faggot girlfriend
Fine. This is no place for the weak.
> Tard opens door, see's mom's spread puss
Brokenglass.webm
> His mom starts screaming, hiding herself
> tard slowly walks out, pure apathy on his face
> Start to get worries that he's about to kill somebody
> Just goes back to tard friends
Speechless
> Takes him a second to readjust, but soon enough, he's back to his antics
> The oter kids decided it'd be funny if we all voted him to be prom king
> His name is called at the ceremony
> He walks up to the stage, accepts the crown, holds hands with the disgusted normie cunt who won prom queen
> Leaves Prom
> Moves the next day, a week before finals
Don't know where he went, but from what I could get out of his tard friends, it was somewhere in Alaska, out of our lives
And so ends the odyssey of Tard.

...

My sister has, on three occasions that I know about, put a baked potato into a microwave wrapped in foil.

Bump

Yeah, nah
Fuck off Aus cunt

As awesome as that was I an disappointed that you didn't take a turn railing his mother

Please.

Why was the microwave wrapped in foil?

what an ending

Would you stick your johnson into a flesh hole that's literally leaking with the cum of your peers?

>Uncle moves in
>he's a fucking slob
>within 1 hour of being there he microwaves something metal
>it fucking breaks
>have to live without a microwave for 7 months because no one else wants to spend their money on something he'll dirty and never clean

You never really notice how much you microwave shit until you don't have one.

>Uncle moves in
>he's a fucking slob
>within 1 hour of being there he microwaves something metal
>it fucking breaks
>have to live without a microwave for 7 months because no one else wants to spend their money on something he'll dirty and never clean

You never really notice how often you microwave shit until you don't have one.

Haha thumbs up. Here is a lilbro in the flesh.

Hmm good point

>mfw im the retarded family member

bump

I love the fact that he has to hold up his pants despite wearing a belt cuz he's so fat his hips have lost all utility

...

My sisters not a quite on the same level as the siblings in this thread, just your average preppy stoner dipshit whore. She's grown up to be a wonderful person but at least in highschool it was so bad our mom not so lovingly called her out T.W.I.T. (Trophy wife in training)

>Scared of the washing machine, dryer, stove, and dishwasher
>Dad told her when she was 3 they would explode and kill her if she touched them
>Still believed that as a 13 year old
>She was so proud when she realized she could make quesadillas in the microwave instead of asking me or mom.

>Decided my lotion smelled really good so she wants to taste eat it, it's one of those pump bottles.
>Takes lid off, swirls it to pick up a bunch, then wipes the glob on her tongue.
>Cries because it tastes so bad

>Sleeps over at skank friends
>Decides to make toast
>Toast isn't toasty enough so she puts it back in the toaster
>On high
>Toaster catches fire
>In all her brilliance she pours water on it
>Do not pour water on electrical fires

>Bought an quad of some good bud
>Took it to school with her while tripping nuts on CCC
>Gets caught and expelled

This is a more recent one my mom told me.

>Sister gets blackout drunk
>Spills vodka on her phone
>Decides the best way to dry it is to put it in the microwave
>Phone begins to melt and catch fire
>Grabs phone out
>Decides putting it in something cold will fix it
>Into moms ice cream it goes!
>Mom was not pleased when she got up the next day

pics of sisters cunt na0

Dude I want to marry your sis.

RASSEEEEEENNNGAAAAANNN!!!!

Heh best thing I've laughed at all day

Your brother is a nigger

Anyone ever just like wake up with bed head then walk around all day like that cause its funny?