ITT: Weird things that you think only you do

Avoid open palm to carpet contact at great cost and bang OPs mom.

i play elaborate, full games of Tetris in my head. randomized pieces, same speed, even in color. i don't know how i do it. i have the memory of a mentally ill stoner brain tumor survivor.

Dude I swear to God. I've even tried using my hand and I lose wood immediately. I can't even get hjs from girls I have to fuck or grind their ass I need the thrust or I can't get my rocks off

topanimal.tumblr.com/post/150871508701/fluffy-dog-and-white-playing

when my wife goes out i use her high heels to masturbate

that is why I love rock and metal cause it gives me imagry

>I also wash towels with clothes.

Y-you're not supossed to do that?

I imagine I'm in a zombie apocalypse when I'm in bed. Really helps me sleep.

I avoid making friends and forming relationships with people. Mostly beacuse I just don't enjoy socializing. And people annoy me the second they open their mouth and start talking.

I spit on my toilet paper before I wipe as a makeshift wet nap

same here i go with my hand for hours and hours but i cant ever cum, i only cum when i hump a pillow or the bed, or the couch lol

I rip a tobacco bong every time I shit because it makes it feel better

I sometimes do this too, user

Someone gotta rip these too man

>I always imagine that there's this little narrator in my head reading my life out loud like a book.

this is pretty normal.

the human mind in its default mode is never quiet.

Enjoy eating shit particles

I make really weird faces at myself in the mirror. I have no idea why.

I pretend there are invisible ailens/monsters that nobody can see but they can see us. So i somtimes just randomly punch the air and think that i just killed one of them and im all hyped and everthing

I went from being really outgoing and extroverted to being introverted. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm a "loser" because of it, I'm comfortable keeping most people at a distance. I can take care of myself.

I stand up to wipe my ass.

No... don't do that

There are shit particles everywhere. Everybody eats them.

i sit and wipe then stand and wipe again

I rub the spots between my fingers, near the knuckles, on cold surfaces to reduce stress

Always reminds me of the myth busters, when they found shit in everything in the bathroom. Toothbrushes, everything.

I often imagine I'm in these exciting situations when um doing anything. Zombies, war, chased by an assassin , anything.

I constantly RP in my head as characters from non-fiction. Usually Naruto Uzumaki, but sometimes Goku, Superman, or Ryu from Ninja Gaiden.

I make up monologues in my head and fight enemies and create Rasengans and Kamehamehas with my hands when I'm alone.

Whoops fiction*

I'm retarded

that's not really unique to you a lot of people have daydreams

Do your knuckles hurt when you're stressed?

I bite my knuckles, like both knuckles on my first finger. I don't know why but I do it without even thinking about it now

ill be watching something ive never seen before and know what the actors are gonna say sometimes

I like to push the edges of the tip of my finger into the edge of my nails

When I go to bed before I go to sleep I always pretend to be in a cool space war and I'm controlling what happens from my bed. My eyes are closed though of course

when i pick up a knife or any other form of cutlery i feel the need to spin it around my finger

That's just gay

I also try to Kamehameha and shoryuken

I do the same with my knife, shit I've even done it with my gun, not loaded though. I've had a couple close calls fucking around with loaded guns.

Me and my mother both bite the inside of our cheeks I think it may be hereditary

I choke myself, all day every single day, probably with 30 second breaks. Not for sexual gratification because it doesn't turn me on. It feels euphoric and I can't stop. It kills brain cells rapidly and sometimes brings on extreme head pain. It causes whole body spasms, involuntary limb movement, muscle spasms, blurry vision, short term memory loss, and a bunch of other stuff. I've managed to stop briefly a few times but can never permanently stop

I bet you shop at hot topic and listen to Black Veil Brides as well fag

Jesus wtf see a doctor dude

...

Me too

i don't know who that band is, and i honestly didn't know hot topic still existed.

Sure

When I talk to myself I refer to myself as "dude".

I do mildly ocd stuff

>Eat candy in order of colour
>Both slices of bread -must- be perfectly parallel in a sandwich, top crust must be at the top

There is tons more but I only think of them in the moment.

You haven't heard of black veil brides? The best band to ever grace our ears with sweet music?

I chew the skin next to my nails so badly they bleed

i can shoot little spit bubbles off my tongue into the air.

put razorblades in my asshole to bring me closer to jesus.

I know I should but I'm trying to deal with it myself, it's just hard to control

I don't choke myself but I frequently hold my breath until it hurts. Like Ive almost passed out many times. It gives killer headaches but I dont know why I do it

This is legit something I know that only I do.

Everytime that I take a shit (literally every single time) I lift my ass on the sink and thoroughly clean out my asshole. Sometimes I don't even wipe, I go straight to the sink and clean myself that way. It maybe be gross what with the shit particles everywhere but at least my ass is clean

xD

I have a life long addiction to air, its ruining my relationships and I can't stop.

I do this. It's really fucking painful but as long as there is skin to bite I will bite it

>i eat my boogers while driving
>i imagine myself being the frontman of a band everytime i listen to a music chorus that really catches my atention
>i imagine my life on another country, as if my life was good or something like that

>tfw you're sexually attracted to pillows.
>tfw you can't fuck your gd without her having to wear a pillowbag

fuck the faces of small animals til life exits their body and my dick goes limp inside their fuzzy lil corpse.

I once saw a guy who had a dream about you and me burn in front of your personal computer and a few weeks later he got caught stealing my mom and sister lol jk haha you can get your free trial version in Iraq and Afghanistan for one dollar

The headaches are the worst man. Literally other than breaking my collarbone it's the worst pain ive ever felt. I'm shit at holding my breath most of the time though, maybe I should try this

I see you too are struggling to break your addiction to air. godspeed fellow addict.

sperg the fuck out in public

Mr fucking clean. Top kek

Thinking about hot guys butthole; guessing whether or not their buttcrack hairy. No homo.

That sounds pretty fucking homo to me dude

i take shits standing up and facing the toilet

If someone else does this, I'll be impressed,

I bite my nails, and then used the bitten nail piece to stick and stab the gums inbetween my teeth. There has to be blood. I find it infinitely satisfying, and a unique nice pain.

I usually only do it out of anxiety I never really thought about it but dude its fucking weird

I always check if an animal in video games has genitals, not even for a sexual thing just for biological accuracy and curiosity.

I place my nail between my teeth and "play with it" but don't cut myself

Worst sink in the world.

dude same...ive imagined a portal to hell opening and satan coming out of it

Fuck man I've been scolded so many times for doing this

Top kek

Checked

I live and share a bathroom with 5 roommates. If they're taking too long I shit in a bag and sneakily throw it out in the trash can outside the house. What can I say, I eat a lot of fiber.

Una pequeña ciudad llamada El Señor Oscuro de la República Romana había un futbolista colombiano nacido en Japón llamado Sánchez García López de Mendoza y su esposa María Teresa Campos Alonso Pérez fue una actriz porno estadounidense que había dejado su cuerpo para un hombre maduro activo y que se había convertido al islam y Venezuela para hacer una película dirigida por José Manuel González en Australia en 1969

This is close enough.

thats just efficient and eco friendly.

My thumb is double jointed so sometimes i get the need to pop it when doing anything, its caused me yo drop alot of things, and sometimes its painful depending on my grip

I mean you kind of have to check. Just once just to see if the devs went that extra mile. I appreciate the small things in video games.

I know right? I admit detail more than anything and it's nice when things stop being so... safe for children.

When I poop I sometimes reach into my ass with toilet paper to sort of scrape out the shit in one piece. Feels good man.

I don't know, man. I just love to think about it.

Me too user. Except I listen to music and make up scenarios in my head. Leads to some pretty damn awesome dreams sometimes

I wish I could say I only do it out of anxiety but anyway, holding my breath is helping already. Thanks man

I feel accomplished

Trips of Truth checked, shit eater.

WHAT THE FUCK
THIS
I DO THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME

I lick my husbands asshole as a reward for showering and shaving. Also use a dildo on him while he fucks me.

Rub my fingers across the edges of my scrotum and deeply inhale. I do this constantly.

Wow. My wife did this obsessively and i made her stop.

Whenever Im at a female friends house I try to steal a pair of panties from their laundry. Not at all costs, but if I do get the chance I steal them. Got like 15 now, always only one per person. In the beginning it turned me on like nothing else, now its not too special anymore but I still steal them when the chance is there.

Ive wondered before if they ever noticed, was actually afraid in some cases of good friends.

I trap air in my foreskin and squeeze it out.

Not necessarily...there's a guy at our local watering hole who sits at the end of the bar with french cuffs and a glass of wine. He just fucking sits there and doesn't say a damn thing. If you say hello he just sort of grumbles and looks back at his phone. You can feel the hatred coming off of him in waves.

When i stay at a friends house where there are little girls i use their dirty panties to jerk off.

I find porn where the protagonist kind of looks like someone I know 10x hotter than regular porn.

I guess as long as you stay away from those poor girls there's not too much wrong with that

I DO THIS

>our local watering hole
kek

Yeah thats as far as i act on urges.

Protagonist?

I look exif data on amateur porn. If pics were taken during evening hours or on a weekend, i don't think much of it. But if taken during a weekday, say like 11:30am on a Wednesday, I beat my dick like it owes me back rent

Same here.

Same. So much that I am afraid I do them in public and my face is pre dispositioned to making stupid faces before normal ones.

I do this but with myself as like some kind of overpowered original character in these series

I wiggle my tongue back and forth rapidly while thinking hard

When I think about stuff on my own, I have to explain what I mean like there's someone else who might not understand.
It's really annoying

I really dislike blowjob videos. I always skip the blowjob part in porn because it jist doesnt turn me on at all.

Me too, it's surprisingly fun

I pick up dying worms off the sidewalk after it rains and return them to soil.

lol I do that too
or make like a speech in my head similar to one I would do in a class or something that I'll never tell a soul

see I like blowjob more than sex fsr
wife doesn't understand

That too

Same, fucking is just infinitely better

Me too. Same boat. Blowjobs are my favorite but my gfs not favorite... :/

i get trips like this but settle for dubs

when I masturbate on the toilet I just cum on the floor and wipe it up afterwards. minimal effort.

I often fill a single grocery cart at the store with hundreds of weird items i wont buy, then ill leave it in the store and pay for what i came for

Are you me?

I sometimes feel the need to stand perfectly still when I have to stand waiting for anything. Like no matter how bad it hurts I degrade myself mentally for the slightest bit of movement other than breathing

Same here

Do you have any idea why?

I am afraid of the dark and I am 18.
I cant sleep alone in a completely dark room. Fuck that. There has to be a small light source. In bright daylight I dont have any anxieties but when it gets dark I start believing in paranormal shit literally.

sometimes air comes out of my butthole

I always set microwave times that are divisible by 6 seconds. I don't remember when this started or why, but I always do it. If I realize after starting the microwave that I brainfarted and set a time not divisible by 6 (52 seconds, for example) I'll stop the microwave at however many seconds I overshot by.

Also I like to set it in improper format, like 1:96 instead of 2:36.

>pull snot from my nose into the back of my mouth using suction, Makes a weird noise.

>Clack music with my teeth obsessively. Any song, I'll clack it with my mouth.

>Always paranoid that someone is hearing my thoughts. I think things sometimes like "I know you're listening" in case they are...

>bite the skin off of my fingertips, inside my mouth, and toes and eat the skin. Mostly I like the texture. It tastes mildly like grapeskin.

>sometimes whe I swallow, it feels like some of it went into the back of my nose. Maybe its because I suck the snot from there..?

>Don't listen to "real" music, just videogame OSTs. This is awkward when people ask me what music I listen to...

>When trying to remember things from my childhood, sometimes I'll be thinking along a train of thought and then I'll get a "jolt" that will make me immediately forget everything I was thinking of about the subject. It's due to this that I can't remember much of my childhood. I also have to be completely calm to do so.

>I see a face in everything. The number 4 looks feminine and the number 5 looks masculine. I can view any object like it has emotion.

>After I eat, or sometimes just randomly, my body forces this hiccup thing where its like I force try to inhale but my throat closes up. It hurts my chest and I usually make a loud noise like a hiccup when it happens.

>Brushing my teeth feels like needles on a chalkboard to me. I'd rather scrub my teeth with a rag while showering and then floss later.

>I chew the side of my toungue, but only the right side. I like the way cheek skin sticks between my teeth

>I love stink... I often lick my finger and smell the dried spit, or finger my anus and smell that. Only some stinks though--cat poop makes me gag oddly.

>When I was smaller, I had an over-active imagination. I would be scared of the dark because I would see things in my mind like strings of color or tornadoes, and the furniture seemed to loom closer every second.

>I love the feeling of pain in my mouth like a loose tooth or poking gums with my bitten-off nails, as long as its my gums. (I'm not a masochist although)

>I can move every part of my body possible. Ears, nose, every muscle that can move and even those I didn't realize could. I make those muscles "flex" to the beat of music in the same way that I teeth clack to it.

>You are now manually breathing.

>Thinking of creepy things like aliens or supernatural stuff makes me tear up even though I'm not scared, and don't believe in any of that shit.

>if I have to pee but cant, if I rub the tip of my penis in a circle with my palm it forces me to.

>I can force saliva to shoot through my glands by scraping my tongue. Works best at the far left and right edges. The saliva is often cold when it enters my mouth,

>I imagine full-length multi-scenario argument and conversation possibilities in my head. Usually while in the shower or nervous about what to say to someone or the outcome of a situation. This combines with my chart imagination thing and I can see the tree of scenarios as I go along. It's odd because its not like I have computer imagination--I can see the chart for a split second and then its gone. I can bring it back up but I cant go into any detail. Its like when you think of the face of someone you know but you cant really inspect in detail in your head. When responding to a person, I will revise my sentence up to like 20 times or more until it's perfect.

I do these type of things every day

>I have indescribable feelings sometimes. Somewhere between longing, nostalgia, and fantasy. I couldn't describe it if I wanted to. All I know is that when I was younger, this would happen more often and the older I get the less it occurs. I don't want to let go of it. It's sad, but happy at the same time. I dunno what it is. It's that feeling of seeing lampposts at night or when I used to watch anime when I was younger. The feeling just isn't there anymore though and I want it back. It's ridiculous but it makes me feel there's a world I can't see out there, waiting for me.

>narrator in my head
Same

I lick the front side of my pointer and middle finger with the corner of my mouth on my left hand and smell them.

I LOVE the smell of ass. I fart under by blankets and smell it, I shove my finger all the way up my ass and smell it, I smell my shit, I grade my shit A-D and smell it, I smell my toilet paper, I LOVE the smell of shit

Test out completely random catchphrases, such as "Wumplyboo Magoo" and "Zappygoongoop"

this

no that's why most modern washers and dryers have specific setting for towels

I fap to my grandma's baby pictures

ugh I just want to talk to someone who feels that way too. Can you tell me more about this?

same except is usually anything that i can get around my fingers.

I kinda do the same. I just inspect my asshole using the reflection from the water in the bowl and dont stop wiping until all visible shit is gone. Im usually in the bathroom for a good 10 or so minutes after a big shit

Happens to me all the time, greatest feeling ever.

A lot of the time Ill get the urge to flex my muscles in a certain pattern, usually from right to left and back again. Usually starts with my biceps and works down to my legs and back up the left side of my body. Come to think of it, I do a lot of things in patters.

Your good a reading situations. I do it too. Your probably also good at explaining plots as they are going also.

I usually discuss with my self any kind of question I might have, like I'm having a conversation with another "me", so to speak, presenting different points of view and possible outcomes. I kind of just talk to myself every now and then too.

I'm not sure if you are a troll.. But wow. I've seen some shit on this website but I'm going to be quite honest with you... You have probably been sexually abused or have some history of abuse and perhaps should get yourself some professional help. From one user to user dude...

graduate high school pussy

Sometimes I go outside and hang out with friends

Holy fucking shit I used to do this when I was little

Pretty sure I graduated in 2009. But thanks for the advise, it appears I've already taken it long before you gave it.

I do this to. Sometimes its so bad I can't get to sleep because I feel the need to do it.

hmmm not trolling, but also never sexually abused. Had a slightly bad home life but nothing major.

Same

Smells can trigger completely unrelated memories and feelings. The scent of a kneaded eraser somehow reminds me of Disneyworld

Sometimes (pretty often) i have 3/4 deja vus a day and a lot of times it feels like a deja vu inside a deja vu.

when im a passenger in the front seat of a car driving along, i pretend that im running super fast, and the shadows that are across the road from like trees and stuff are hurdles, and when the car drives over then i lift up all my toes to pretend to jump the 'hurdles'.

Fucking this. Also I imagine I'm some super human doing crazy shot to help me sleep. Fucking weird man

I buy DS games and pretend that they are football players and keep making formations

I bite the inside of my cheeks too user, not sure when or why it started though

Same here user,but only if i shit a little

I lean forward when I walk and use my shoulders to throw my weight instead of my core.
also when I'm waiting for food to microwave I do random jojo poses
I close doors by holding out my hands behind me as I walk into a room, and I weave in and out of doorways. When I'm home alone, I never open a door without making sure it's secure.

>cringe weaboo as fuck

This. Or a war of some sort and picture myself in some super bunker

yes
i want to die

Hoo-rah

hey me too, I want to die also. Want to die with me?

I go to bed by imagining fictional characters interacting with each other.
Like all anime-ish with fucking animal crossing in F Zero GX or someshit. I really like mixing and matching shit like that while I try to go to sleep.

Also, when I play video games by myself and I take damage I blink my eyes like how enemies in games flash when they get hit. I used to do it a lot when I was little and it just stuck.

I'm pretty sure I have autism.

Every time that I see my dog or another dog, I say "Hey, that's a dog" and proceed to call said dog all kinds of names, including but not limited to gorbis, borpo, spaghettiman, meemo, dugson, and snickleficker. Normally I speak pretty normally.

My house is super dark at night so instead of walking to the bathroom ill piss in an empty beer can or something then dispose of it in the morning.

I picture myself in some war and in a bunker when im about to go to sleep, its conforting.

I'll scratch my ass hole and smell it obsessively pretending its the scent of some girls ass

You're quite different from me, I prefer the darkness and dread having to go out into the daylight. I can't sleep in a room with any light, it keeps me up.
Nice to know there's someone that's polar opposite of me out there somewhere.

I do all of that. Just got done playing F-ZERO GX too. I swear no one plays that game. I blink like damage as well. its usually one blink per half second, generally 4 blinks