Hey Cred Forums I just got bit by my family dog while I was fucking around with him and he fucked up my ear give me a...

You aren't supposed to mess around with your dogs ass. You deserved it. He isn't weird, you are.

Looks too obviously bite marks. I can't imagine what you could say to discount the teeth marks.

Maybe something about gravel. You were skateboard and fell or something.

I love my dogs but i would kill them for biting me

I like this suggestion, however, given that we're on Cred Forums, I don't think it's believable that OP was playing sports or engaged in any sort of physical activity beyond vigorous masturbation (presumably to a man dressed as a girl).

he has a taste for blood now. next time it will be your dick.

Don't use h2o2!
That kills bacteria and your own cells, you sap.

You used a q-tip (or whatever you americunts call it), the plastic stick went through the cotton and it stabbed your ear. If there are bite marks, this explanation doesn't make sense, but if it's just some period blood, go for it.

Say you were fucking around with the dig and it stood on your ear

You where fucking the dog in the ass when you tripped and skewered your head on his penis

'fucking around with him'
Stop trying to rape your dog

Kill the dog

Came here to say this

Your boyfriend got a bit too enthusiastic on bath salts and tried to eat you.

It's called a q-tip you autistic eurocucks

We call them topz you fucking gonorrhoea case.

Hate to say it bro but the second a dog tastes human blood their wolf ancestry reawakens. Its why the put down procedure is in place.

How old is the dog?
What breed?
What did you to do to annoy him? They don't bite for no reason.

Also wash your ear with disinfectant spray or creams. If you don't have any, use alcohol and rub it over with cotton wool and dab it(it will sting). You don't want an infection. The puncture marks are pretty obvious aswell I'm afraid.

You were sat on your computer beating one out when the cum hit your ear and burnt through it

Click the post number.
Post pic of ear cleaned up. Maybe we could think of something better. How much time do you have?

Q-tip is a brand. Also a rapper.

OP was engaged in vigorous masturbation to a man dressed as a girl and the dog came in and bit him in the ear for being a degenerate.

Maybe it's exactly what he did when he was "fucking around" with him. And that is why he doesn't want his fucktoy to be put down.

dog rape

This is not true

id blame spouse... domestic violence will save the dogs life.. and get rid of that pesky freeloading uncle
or g/f

It's more harmful for the bacteria, his ear will be okay

Did you bite you aggressively or just playing around? My dog bites when hes playing, but thats how I raised him. He was alone as a puppy so I would pretend like my hand was another puppy biting and playing.

This one works

my puppy gave me a lovenip like 9 years ago on the eyebrow

never had a problem with him since

OP's dog is a skits cunt or op cant read dogs bodylanguage very well.

stop using peroxide to clean wounds you fucking retard, you kill good bacteria too with that shit. use soap and water.

Just say you got into a title match with Tyson.

yeah this op tell us

t. doge

if it happens again, dont beat him but act fast. tie his legs together, and while yelling random shit at him dump bucket after bucket of water on him. he will never do it again

The peroxide will only cleanse your ear if you drink it

You are up to date on your immunisations.

Say you were bitten by a black cat. spooky

+1 for no beating

my dog responded better to me standing on his neck and cussing the fuck out of him

t. staffy mastif ridgeback cross

That or i send him threatening thoughts

nice try but peroxide is safe to drink to an extent

what a pussy
barely broke the skin

they really need that dominance play sometimes i guess, basically anything that freaks them the fuck out will work, if done right after the act

>walking down street
>stray comes at you from the side
>you toss him but he tried to take your ear

best lies are mostly truth

Just say you went to see your local hooker and the bitch bit you.

this

you really cant fuck around with middlesize and up dogs especially males w/ balls you need to nip that shit quick

bleach is better orally as well

Same, I had to yell at my dog this morning because she kept jumping on my boy. I bum rushed her she rolled over out of fear and I GENTLY put my foot on her body and yelled LEAVE HIM ALONE GOD DAMMIT. It's worked so far, she is laying down now.

Oi mate let me grab some tops to clean out ye ears, then we can have a spot o tea and some crumpets to get over that ghastly image.

id try writing him a stern letter first. doggos respond well to that usually, just dont hold back and really give it to em

how does gettiing bit while "fucking around" with him go to being put down? wtf you dont deserve a dog in the first place give him to someone who isnt a complete faggot

Just a little fuck up, don't mention it.

Tell your psycho family to not kill the dog because you fucking antagonized him. Second, you need to bite the fuck out of that dogs ear to prove your dominance before he runs your shit.

Kek was just about to post something similar

>she
lucky my dog is stubborn as fuck

dont have a pic but hes got a badass black eye
Lol you idiot i send him a text on the barkphone

what do you think this is 1970s with snail mail and shit?

>Send him threatening thoughts
Not everyone is an esper.

bump

bleach

Post a pic of ur doggo

bite his testicles

my doggo isnt allowed a barkphone anymore. took that away last time he bit me.

he also lost his internet privileges, so letters it is.

pen mightier than the sword an all that

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, ITS A DOG SHE WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY YOURE SICK IN THE HEAD I HOOE THE AUTHOR I TIES GET YOU SICK FUCK

>your dog cant judge your body language and feelings
lol shit doge m8

doges operate on different levels man

facken dur

>barkphone
you done fucked up you got him a bitephone u dumbass

isnt this a kind of a riddle shit?
fucking doggo doesnt know how to solve it

put him down

...

dawww is that a staffy?

I fucking laughed out loud. Thanks user.

maybe, did let him choose. i like him to keep with with the other doggos so he wont get bullied

hahahaha they read body language like fucking pros and they can literally smell your feelings and intent

My dog is lovely. She's just hyper.

those headphones trigger me so much

i use oldass hd558s unmodded sound amazing through my old sony 5.1 amp
lol max level doge

You made out with a girl and she got a bit kinky.

My doge used to be hyper but he's 9 in 3 months

I dunno what dogge to get next

i really love sharpei crosses

Fuckin kek

Tell me you at least kicked him hard and possibly repeatedly.

Every doggo needs to learn early on that you'll always love them, but if they bite the hand that feeds them, you will be the angry God that can end their lives.

That's actually a really good dog then. She knows her place, you see the problem is people treat these fucking creatures like humans. They are not humans they are animals.

Is this a pupper thread now?

top doggo m8 8/8 staffies4lyfe

>those headphones trigger me so much

OP's clearly a faggot already, they won't make anything worse for him, just cover the damage.

Depends on alot of things I guess. Like picking the right pokemon.

Hint: it's always Jolteon

Just say you tried to pick up the phone just picked up a stapler instead

Ha that's what you get for owning a mutt filthy infidel
Kill all dogs

WE

jesus that some retarded ass level shit that happens to me sometimes, yesterday i stabbed myself in the face with a ciggy

Cats are vastly superior

WILL

ROCK YOU

not really, just easier to keep

Tell your family you're going to a boxing class.

Then come home and tell them you caught a few left hooks and you don't want to go back

Have fun when your mutt slaughters you

CUCK

Happened to me once can confirm legit cover up story OP

YOU

Slaughter dogs by bashing their fucking skulls in

Who would put your dog down?
He is your dog and he bit you. I really dont see who could have the authority to put him down without your consense.
Or does usrael have new shitty dog killing law?

You dog must be put down cunt.

Say you were just walking down the street calmly, when out of nowhere, you were attacked by a chicken.

>muslims
>pee sitting down
>like cats
>boy fucking popular in the caliphate
>no stringed instruments

boy you guys are fucking gay.

its too late youve been bitten and youre going to turn into a werewolf on the next full moon

Says the faggot who's culture is cuckery
and filthy

His name is rocky

if its your dog, it wont be put down unless you request it

>who is culture

"I hit my head"

No payment necessary OP. Helping you is my reward.

YOU GOT JIZZ ON YOUR FACE

YOU BIG DISGRACE

Why would they put him down???

my dog bit my face plenty of times as a kid lol

HE'S WAVING HIS COCK ALL OVER THE PLACE

...

this

Go ahead, guess my culture and religion. You'd be wrong.

Muslims are hilarious. They don't have opinions or thoughts. It's all just doing what you are told. Obedience. Al-silaam. Hmm... Obedience is what cuckolds like to do. Do you like being obedient to the BBC of your spiritual leaders? sure sounds like it.

Put him down yourself. Be a man for once in your life.

another

and stream it

cute and nice doges

See? Every time you fuck around with that dog, you rile him up. I told you a hundred times that he's going to bite you. And you never fucking listen.

also this

You're really fuckin' stupid

Go back to /x/ and rant about spirit animals faggot

CALM DOWN GAY BOY

Listenin' when I shoulda bin talkin'

Throwaway culture. Move out from that rock.

Awooooooooooo

BABY YOU'RE A CUNT RAG JEW FACE FAG

Say the dog accident scratched your ear. In what fucking degenerate country does a dog have to be put down because of a little bite what the fuck!?

>fucked up my ear
Boy gimme yo address al show you fucked up

ultraKEK

Also fuck phones and their shitty spelling shit

>he is weird sometimes
You shouldn't keep him.

Clean the wound up and discipline your dog, let it know you're the alpha.

ausfag here

it makes sense since only shit doges that go around being shitcunts get done in its actually pretty rare

kill it!

say you walked your own dog when your own dog got in a fight with another dog and then the other dog which is not your own dog you know the dog that your own dog was fighting with bit you in the ear at least tell the doc it was a dog so that he desinfect the wounds your whalecum

Say it was a random neighborhood dog
> describe a dog of similar size
> It was hanging around outside
> You stupibent down to pet it
> It jumped up to bite your face
> You instinctively turned away
> It got your ear
> You kicked it
> It ran away

You were sleeping when a giant spider climb to your ear. The dog bite the spider but wounds you in the process.

i agree

Your neighbors dog fucked your shit. Put that fucker down