What life advice would you give to your teenager self

What life advice would you give to your teenager self

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If you start to bleed while getting fucked in the ass... STOP immediately!

don't get married

Don't watch Home Alone 2
You will want to go to the WTC but it's not there anymore

"I'm you from the future, stop fucking procrastinating or else you end up on a boat for 10 years."

Leave home earlier. You will have everything you dreamed of. dont wait until you are16yrs old

youtube.com/watch?v=voBxIPyZR5s

Don't be gay

Don't bother with searching for a girl.

start investing your money immediately

Stay away from that bitch! Stay away! She is insane!

At age 16, start saving 10% of each paycheck and never stop. Don't buy stupid shit, and don't use credit cards.

stop taking your ritalin, start meditating

Do your homework.

Don't circumcise XD

Netflix, buy Netflix stock with every dime you have.

>had I bought netflix stock when I first saw it in 2003, I would be sitting on $2.8 million

dont break up with her, youl regret it 10 years from now

use protection

Kill yourself; getting older is fucking worthless post 18.

Sticking bits of Lego into your ass does not make you a man. Neither does sticking your ass into a man make you a Lego.

Think on it younger me. Think on it.

Don't get into metal, and more importantly, never dress in a metal way

Don't dump Kate, you fucking moron.

u gona crash your car and kill one of your very close kids, good luck kid

Never do that wrong threeway woth your best friend. Even though she is a godess.

Don't ever enter a website called Cred Forums

shit i mean friends not kids

kill the bitch NOW

go to high school

go to parties and fuck

make friends


>28 yr old friendless virgin with no education and needs mommy to support him

Buy shares in a Swedish company called Mojang.

this. metal guys are cringe machines

Do more drugs.

Become a lesbian or a-sexual

>don't stay with her
>lift, faggot
>save your motherfucking money
>invest in bitcoin
>get plenty strange
>don't listen to your "friends" they're dipshits going nowhere.

...

Don't start drinking alcohol so you don't get addicted and lose your full ride to pharmacy school.

you have to start working sometime, start early and reap the benefits as an adult

Kill your father he is always going be a piece of shit.

Sell more drugs to underaged kids while your in school.

Don't waste the money your going be making shit when you grow up.

Drop out of school sooner get your GED.

Join the army when your still fit like a bull.

Learn to use a sniper rifle and do what the dc sniper did ??? profit.

Don't smoke and focus in school or you're gonna struggle

Man the fuck up and stop thinking you'll get everything from free. Being intelligent does not make you special.

Stay a virgin

hook up with someone my own age much sooner, instead of jailbate that can't decide if she wants you or not.

>Mojang
>shares

For the love of satan's asshole, DO NOT PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT

Don't end the relationship, work it through. Don't buy that piece of shit first car. Stop blowing all your wages, save and invest.

pls don't fuck that guy in the bathroom

don't do heroin.

I would give my self a list of the lotto numbers for the next 10 years and win every time tell people i have cracked the everything theroy trololol profit.

To start smoking sooner so I can waste more life

Do go into medicine, study networking

Do not stay over at Uncle Jeff's house.

for the fucking love of god don't ever visit Cred Forums you little neardy cuck
>just this only this

>invest in bitcoin
lol

Work even harder because you will have to earn everything from your own sacrifices and pain

Quit being an emo fag

There's more to life than math and science. When you get to college, don't limit yourself. History and art are actually really fun, and you'll do better at them anyway.

pic related, and don't forget that thing i sent you.

Start restoring your foreskin now, better to do it in your teens than your 20s, its well worth it

Don't set Shane on fire, it was funny but he got badly burned

Your sister is a child abuser, scare away her boyfriends so she never breeds

Other than that I'm doing pretty good.

>kill one of your very close kids
>good luck kid

Tell her how you feel.

Uncle Jeff used to be kind I used to ride his pink poppo until I got thirsty and he got tired and I got a free drink of jockey juice

NEVER do the right thing

Dont trust anyone

Don't let your friends have things simply because you already have a bunch of things,

take everything and give nothing

either start playing video games sooner or dont do it at all

and also, dont try to be the good girl, it's not worth the effort. Invest your allowence in snapchat

go out and make friends and call child protective services on parents

Actually put your dick in Amy. Don't be a pussy and just get some condoms. Otherwise you'll end up losing your virginity to your second girlfriend. In fact, don't date that girl in your fencing class. Just don't do it. The sex is terrible and she's a terrible human being.

Don't forget that molly fucks you up way more than all these idiots you hang with want to acknowledge and do more cocaine. Don't overdo it, buy don't let it slip.

Would have stressed the importance of consistent daily meditations harder. Would have divulged my sexual orientation to self to save myself alot of time. Would have recommended my current job sooner, would have recommended getting into school earlier and moving out earlier. being more financially responsible.

Nothing bad, interesting life.

Don't hang out with Drake.

.. buy bitcoins...lots of them

Dumb your bitch of a girlfriend and stay single longer!

Top Kek!

Check em

I would say

In early march 2003 abandon your mom. She goes bat ahit crazy and kicks you out at 2am. She refuses to give you anything that belongs to you. Including your wallet, and a winter jacket. You literally have to call the police just to get that stuff. Also, while in college stay away from candace p. and riann c. They both make your live a living hell and the headaches they cause are not worth it.

>stop liking a kind of music that you really like a lot, and that is responsible for events taking place that really meant a lot to you
>be a fucking normie because other people who have no value for the life that you're living may find you cringy

Buy bitcoin, when it appears, little motherfucker.

End your life now. It won't get any better.

Don't start procrastinating - just don't do it.

Don't say no to free drugs

>rec while you play videogames and upload to youtube
>create a site called facebook.com, put some shit on it and wait for a call of a jew
>create a site called twitter. com and wait like for facebook
>buy bitcoins
>thankmelater.jpg

>dress like a parent-hating manchild into your mid twenties
>complain that women are shallow whores for not wanting to fuck your clammy, trenchcoat-clad body

fuck being super social, dedicate yourself to studying

>projecting

If you're a parent-hating manchild in your mid twenties, you're doing something wrong that is not associated to music or the way you dress, but of course it's easier to blame it on something you did instead of something that you are.

>>complain that women are shallow whores for not wanting to fuck your clammy, trenchcoat-clad body
That's pretty much everything Cred Forums does all day, every day, when they're not to busy fapping to traps and argueing about the presidency.

IT'S NOT A PHASE, MOM

>Have confidence, the chicks dig you.
>Don't think about what people think of you, they don't actually give a fuck. The world doesn't revolve around you.
>Get a haircut and other clothes than a hoodie.
>Go for that one chick you fall for mentally, not the one with big tits.
>Study hard and work on that dream to become an airline pilot, it'll be worth it.
>Spend more time with dad even though your parents are separated. I guarantee you'll be happy you did.
>Spend more time with your big brother, he'll be your best friend if you don't neglect him.

Buy stocks in google.

James is a worthless piece of shit, distance yourself from him now.

Don't take that photonics class, pick something else.

why the fuck not?

Stop jacking off the doctor will find out

dont fool yourself. its not going to "get better soon". run off now and do what you dream about, not what seams wise

This. May God have mercy on my social life/priorities post WoW

don't smoke all that weed

do it occasionally but not daily you dick head

Listen, kid someday you'll grow up and have your chance to visit your teen version. Fuck him like I fucked you, it's only natural.

>Don't let your kid friends drive your car, they'll wreck them
>Don't let fireworks off in your neighbors yard, you go to jail for that one
>Golf Clubs are dangerous stay the fuck away from them, Eating nothing but fruit smoothies sucks ass
>Learn to code, Actual job possibilties there
>Religion is bullshit
>You're Bi deal with it, One of your friends is gay maybe hooking up was a option
>Floss, your teeth are nasty

>Study hard and work on that dream to become an airline pilot, it'll be worth it.

> You will want to go to the WTC but it's not there anymore

It's just music I like, not everyone is a dumb retard and lets music influence their persona. That's like going to watch Pirates Of The Caribbean and acting like a drunk pirate afterwards every day.

Pretty much.

Don't bother at school, get some hobbies and just learn the stuff you want.

Start learning guitar younger
Learn to shut the fuck up

invest in apple rather than exxon. do drugs. dont worry about that one time u took a shit in bed and called it mr williams. Dont take candy from strangers! and dont grow out of that crazy frog phaze when u irritated everyone

don't let your memes be dreams

>What life advice would you give to your teenager self

women are not worth any effort. just go to hookers if you're horny but don't give a fuck about relationships

Yeah, I was there too. Should've bought that stock

Stop eating and start lifting.

fucking your friend's sister won't be a good idea

she'll fuck you over and you'll lose a good friend

How much younger?

Don't trust Christians. Don't ever trust authorities.

Fuck all the girls that you rejected. They end up looking fine as fuck

What happened user?

Don't sleep with that girl, find someone else

jerk your big fucking dick less and go outside

Stop being a fag and go outside

break up with taylor, shes too chicken shit to kill herself. a lot of girls had crushes on you, any of them will fuck you. sarah will be your wife

There's no free candy in the van.

don't over look the potential of bitcoin

Exactly. Quads true af.

matter of fact get as much s you can and keep it till at least 2015

Polly didn't woke up after three monts

>fuck Sarah when you have the chance or you'll end up as a wizard

invest in google, facebook, and apple

...

GPA doesn't matter half as much as your credit score.

Don't be a fucking asshole.
Seriously. You might think you're edgy and stuff, but you're just a fucking dick and people hate you.

brwt4l

Give up video games and invest your time in playing musical instruments, you've got talent, you just need practice.

Don't be shy.

When you meet Macaulay, Haley, or Dylan at the Viper? Long dick those little faggots as hard and long as you can. If doing one became a life time memory? How much better doing 3 or more?

Tell me about it. Been together since 16 married at 21 divorced at 26. No money and all I got is you guys. Good trade.

You disgust girls, focus on your studies.

2014 World Cup
Brazil - Germany 1-7, BET ALL

>The "one" will dump you after 5 years, you only loved her because she was your first, the first two years are amazing, after she cheats on you with that skater kid shit goes downhill and you both end up destroying each other mentally
>DRAW!! It's your passion dude and the ONLY thing that truly does make you happy, you only realized this after the 5 year girl dumped you.
>Save your money, you where always good at it but you where more prone to impulse buy when younger.
>Cut your hair, I know it's fucking awesome and you'll always miss it but trust me, getting pussy in highschool is a lot more important.
>Keep practicing your guitar, you'll go on tour with your best friend and it will change your life
>After the tour continue with your band, fuck college, and fuck what mom and dad have to say it was cool, got tons of ass but ultimately made you borderline suicidal
>Even though you hate them for being cunts, mom and dad always have your back. Hate them silently but always respect them. They are old and from another era, they don't know any better.
>Again, save your money.
>Get into mma in highschool, there are alot of fags you want to beat up later on, it's easier if you know how to fight properly.
>Don't smoke weed everyday, grow it instead, trust me, you will conquer your school.
>Dont take those yellow pills that sleazy cunt gives you, they fuck you up for a whole week and they intensify the weed high for 2 months.
>Don't smoke K2, just watch people die around you with a smile and some popcorn, there will be plenty dropping down during that year.
>Steal everything you can from that tall lanky white kid, you know the one, he is a liar and fucks you over in the end. If anything just steal his rifle and find a way to make him disappear.

>Do what makes you happy, which in the end will just be money and your artwork. Art will make you feel better than any drug has, money will calm down your anxiety, and music will give you all the women you need.

stop playing vidya or it will ruin your life

That's a great hint when you have zero idea what to invest into at the time.

How the fuck are people not able to keep their gaming habit in check?
I play games literally several hours every single day, but I know how not to let it affect my work.
It's not that hard with a little of discipline and time management.

Go STEM, not humanities.

Even if juvinille charges get dropped, the government can still use it against you 20 years later

Or go into cyber-sports.

Be realistic, you weren't up for STEM at that age but it's not too late for you now!

It's not just games, user. It can also be alcohol, drugs, sex, money. It's all about addiction and the power of will to overcome it or not.

Don't expect much from life, and just kill yourself while you are under 16.

Dont smoke weed in the basement

Where then?

Leave that cunt

this

>several hours every day
You've got a problem user.

I like hubcaps and seinfeld. Who is Barbara Palvin? the sunshine is bright today. I have to get a new set of shoes.

Don't let her take that plane in '09. I don't know how, drive a car into a ditch, beat her up or whatever. Just don't let her take that plane.

story

To never go to 9gag and get my memes from there. That would make me a giant faggot. Like OP. Who gets his memes from 9gag.

Study more math you lazy turd. Also read the fucking sticky and start lifting you DYEL.

>caring about what other people think of you
I'm all for being an asshole but don't not expect people to start seeing you as one.

Retard mustn't understand. Investing doesn't mean investing in stocks necessarily putting money an IRA is an investment and has nothing to do with stocks

>stop fucking around
>forget about Nintendo
>learn JavaScript and other programming languages NOW
>take school seriously; it's not just a way to avoid doing yard work with your step-father
>stop arguing with your parents so much; just accept it and move on
>go ahead and go with their plan for you to enlist in the Air Force. You can do college courses while in, and major in Comp Sci.
>stop caring about the girls
>your "friends," aren't.

She wanted to go to Paris. Ended up in the ocean. Not much else to say. I can only joke about this, because any serious conversation about it triggers an emotional shitstorm. Still can't get over it to this day. I was supposed to fly to Paris a few days later. Survivors guilt is real, niggers.

>I play games literally several hours every single day, but I know how not to let it affect my work.

Dont post in Cred Forums

save your money
don't attempt college, just get a trade

Air France Flight 447

Don't ask her out.

kys

Don't set the fucking woods on fire with your brother's lighter.

buy dual lands

Don't get in the car with Keith/

Double check the ties around that one girls hands before falling asleep. Otherwise she will escape and force you to paint the basement walls

Get yourself laid as soon as you possibly can. It doesn't matter who with. Just get rid of that V card as soon as possible.

Here's the problem: As long as you're a virgin, girls are going to assume that you're a eunuch. Seriously, being a virgin to them is just as pathetic as literally having no cock and balls. Absolutely nobody will respect you for being a virgin -- it's not a good thing in any way.

You absolutely have to stop looking down on ugly girls. That attitude is going to mess you up real bad. I guarantee you -- an ugly girl is going to be just as satisfying as an attractive girl while you're sweetly nutting in her pussy. The only thing that matters here is the awesome enjoyment of her pussy and your penis together in orgasmic bliss. Keep your eye on that goal, and don't lose sight of it.

Don't listen other guys and the way they put down ugly girls -- you don't need to cater to them. The only thing you need to care about is what girls think about you -- and if a girl knows that you're fucking another girl, she will instantly become jealous of that girl, and the thought of fucking you herself will immediately enter her mind. You've got to get girls thinking of you as being a sexual person who fucks, and the only thing that will do that is to start fucking.

As long as you're a virgin, you're just proving to girls that you either can't or don't want to use your cock for its intended purpose. This turns them off really bad. It makes them pity you, because for all they know, you have an ineffective, baby-sized weener that can't do anything because you haven't matured sexually or maybe your balls got cut off or something.

Girls want to fuck, but they need to know that when the opportunity comes up, then you will be able to man up and fuck them. Your experience with other girls proves that. Girls can't take the lead on any of this, because if they try then people will call them a "slut". So you need to take the lead on it.

Fuck bitches, get money.

Not easy for a kid with a wild imagination

Don't fuck Kelly when she invites you in after driving her home from the church thing. She is not on the pill like she will say she is.

That's a good one, user. Well done.

You've thought about this before

Long term relationships are not a way you should experience the best years of your life. Fuck every girl you can, even the ones that are only good looking after a few shots and some beer.

>r9k: The Post

seems like you're putting the pussy on a pedestal, which is a no-no as well :^)

KEK

use lub, dont ask just use lub

We must celebrate the pussy.

FUCK MORE WOMEN!

do not drink beer, you will get very very fat

I could say...

>save money
>don't use credit cards
>don't do drugs
>don't take three years off from school
>etc etc etc

But the truth is... I have no regrets. I lived young while I was young. Fuck it

>mfw money in the bank
>mfw credit score is back to normal
>mfw clean and sober for 3+ years now
>mfw went back to "uni" and graduated
>mfw no regrets

Eat more and don't do that one thing you nearly do that one time. Goes exactly how you think it will.

Save half of every pay check until you have to actually pay bills. Don't go to a university, community college is just fine and 1/4th the cost. Smoke more weed while you can.

Invest in yoohoo

Nigguh, you better study, cuz you is ugly as fuuuuuuuck.

there will be that point in your twenties when you realize people love assholes and bitches and you fell for that one too.
So ditch that asshole and live on your own being confident, giving no fucks and doing your art.
As soon as you do, your sex life is going to become fucking amazing and everybody will try to go down on you.
Just give fucks when fucks are needed. Save those for occasions

Needed this about two years ago

Tell family to invest in google stocks. gg. no-re.

Wrong.
Get a trade skill. College already means next to nothing if you arent top 0.5%, and will mean even less in 5 years.

Do your fucking schoolwork, clean your fucking room, and stop being so fucking depressed.

Use a stronger rope son.

Stay far away from that bitch with the 5head, she only gets uglier.

Move out earlier.

Take the pills, dumbass. The lizardmen aren't real.

Learn math for yourself, however you need to do it. The Professor they assign you at college isn't going to know shit, and that's something you're going to want to know. Trig, calculus, physics, algebra, you fucking name it, you need it, no exceptions.

its simple, just try to talk more, not with the fuckheads in school, but at home, say what you think

also dont let the bad things get to you in school, cause later on it wont matter, and you can enjoy yourself by not thinking about them

ye kind of, also, start working out, you will look good if you do

#JustFatPeopleThings

3edgy5me

>seems like you're putting the pussy on a pedestal, which is a no-no as well :^)

Nah, it's more like this:

As sad it may be, most girls at that age really can only serve you one purpose, and that's sex. So don't pass it up -- do it every chance you get. Now, if it turns out that some girl can offer you more than sex, then that's great. But don't count on it. Have sex, see if a girl can offer more, and if she can't then move on. That's pretty much the exactly opposite of the "pussy on a pedestal" approach that messed me up back when I was young.

Be more confident. I could have been way more popular if i acted more confidently.

all those girls that came to hang out with you every week, they all wanted to fuck. buy some alcohol, smoke some weed, and just make out with them. easily +30 girls in your fuck counter instead of 3. btw you wont get to fuck lots of girls until youre past 30 with lots of money.

Don't fall in love with your friends
Dont become friend with someone you love

Wish i learned pre teens, just because it's always calmed me through shit

Don't be fat

A college degree is the new highschool degree. Its expected you at least have an associates to even sit down for an interview somewhere that doesn't involve flipping a burger or physical labor. Trade skills being the obvious exception to that, but pulling cable or setting a die on a machine press isn't for everyone.

I agree the value of a college degree is certainly less than what we pay for it and the value is only going to go down more.

Who said anything about stocks you fucking retard?
The problem is still the same: What do you invest into? it doesn't have to be stocks. But obviously it's a shit idea to randomly spend money with no clue whatsoever.
Jesus, you people are dumb.

Easier said than done, user.

Don't lose your virginity to the first guy who shows you attention.

get bitcoin fucking quick

Sorry to tell you man, but you're gay.

No. Stop trying to deny it, wish it away, force straight porn on yourself... Just own it, because otherwise you'll hate yourself, cut yourself off from society, waste your youth, spend hours playing video games and once you do admit your faggotry to yourself you'll be several years behind your peers in terms of social development.

>first guy
Ether your a faggot or tits or gtfo

Probs a fag ye

Restoring your foreskin?

Stay away from credit cards stupid fuck

the billion dollar powerball numbers.

Black lives dont matter

Don't start drinking. You won't be able to stop.

Fuck the teachers that were clearly into you, you unconfident faggot

While in high school, make more friends, hang out more often, smoke weed, join more clubs and don't just get used to the routine. Talk to girls, maybe you'll get lucky and fuck that little lady you like so fucking much, after all you'll stay a virgin for the following 8 years, and still...

You're not gay. Stop listening to what the other kids are saying; it's perfectly fine to not have a girlfriend. Actually, you shouldn't bother getting one. How old are you now, 16? Current year is 2005? Yeah, that girl who dumped you last week is going to be the last woman you ever date. Focus on science and building yourself up.

Don't fucking kill yourself. Things would have been better, if only you had stuck with it.

Death fucking sucks, especially for us suicides

Don't cum in your little step sister's pussy. It's not worth the shame later in life. Pull out you young horny retard.

Wtf, story?

Ask all the guys at high school if they want blowjobs. They definitely will and sucking cock is terrific.

...

Dude came in his step sisters pussy because he was a horny retard.

>cont?

See that cute girl in your class who's always aroound you and laughs like an idiot because everything you say is SO funny? If you ignore her now that you're 16 because you're too autistic to realize she's into you, you'll end up as a 26yo kissless virgin.

be racist, all this equality shit is a lie to get you to disarm yourself.

Join the military

Its 4 years of shit but a lifetime of benefits

Man I would've killed myself by now

do SS then the texas method

AVOID easy strength.

Pull the trigger, faggot.

Don't copy that floppy

>Focus on science

>don't be such a dick to everyone, they'll hate you later
>go to college and study, your knee is gonna fuck you over in 10 years
>here are the right numbers for the 50 million € lottery

well, ur still here user

If only I had known, instead of trying to make everyone laugh and feel 'good.' Probably would have expedited my conversion to Atheism.

dont do as many drugs and dont love a hoe

kill yourself

Atheism? pfft, i got over that phase years ago. Now I follow Taosim and live every day according to The Sword.

>She's going to hurt you, very bad, but it'll make you grow as a person, don't focus on the pain
>Stop spending your whole day in front of the damn screen
>You're never "too cool for school"
>Alcohol will not make you feel better, You'll just forget for a moment
>Girls like you for some reason, don't focus only on her, she'll never treat you the way you deserve

So edgy. And by the way, you don't have to go back in time, why the hell can't you do it now?

when you get done giving him his first blow job, make him suck you off too

realize that no matter whatever else you think, no one in life owes you shit, and you owe the same. if someone has a problem with how you live your life it is not something to think about for any longer than a momentary admiration of tits; it's just not relevant or needed.

>phase
You sound just like my parents and other family members 10 years ago, when I denounced Xtianity.

>start working out and dieting seriously, you want to be able to use your body for as long as you can. You have the fat genes and they're going to catch up to you at some point.

>Invest your time learning about finance and business economics because you're poor as fuck with no skills.

>You were successful with one of your skills and received recognition. Don't stop because of fear of failure like you did. Go, face it and dive into making it lucrative for yourself.

Honestly if you had to do yard work with your step dad and got pressured or had to be pressured into their quote unquote plan for you to join the air force then it sounds like you had shitty parents.

And I know parents are people too and they try hard and love you but be honest they were assholes alot of the time about alot of things werent they

Convert to Islam now. It will the dominating religion of the world in 2016.

tell that to my $5000 katana.

Seriously, man. I always think of how things could have been different now if only I realized it at the time. I got into a nasty downward spiral, but it's not the end yet.

Don't eat food off the floor for attention in the hopes of being that funny weird kid that everyone likes

Pls no porn

"Hey, you stupid little cunt. Quit procrastinating. Quit playing videogames. Eat less. Lose weight. Make friends. Join drumline. If you continue living life the way you are, you will end up sad and alone and you will want to kill your self even more than now. You will attempt your life again at 20. Put computer science on the backburner. Play more guitar. Take music theory and vocal classes in highschool, and go to college for music. Go to your second choice college with your best friend, don't go to your first choice because you will be alone and sad and form addictions to alcohol, nicotine and adderal. Become a professional musician. You will be happier. Make friends. You will have something to live for."

This is great advice to pretty much anyone.

You literally sound like you either install electric wire and are very pretentious about it or you have no degree and work in retail and try to tell people youre smart because you listen to npr

This

They never wanted me to go to college; they feared 'loans' and such, so they took every step to make sure I couldn't go (even choosing my Freshman and Sophomore year[s] classes). Sure enough, I washed out of the Air Force anyway during Basic, and out of the Army a year later for the same problem: personality/adjustment disorder, and a civilian record of psych visits, being hospitalized, and clinical depression. Now I'm in college, about to finish, but getting a crappy degree because I never got the help I needed in math, science, or technology to get a degree worth a damn.

Not to mention, of course, I fought with my AF recruiter every time I went to the station. I straight up told him to his face that I didn't want to join, but my step-father was always there, and forced me to sign up anyway.

>Make friends
This is useless advice. Everyone told me to make friends when I was a kid, but I didn't know how.
Make friends, lol. It's like saying
>make money grow out of your ass

Remember anons, it's not over until you're dead. I can think of countless people who've made something of their lives in their later years.

>$5000 katana.
You overpaid for an oversized kitchen knife.

I live in seattle and just let me say unless you were born into it just dont with taoism
Everyone else who isnt into taoism knows youre just a loser, and theres nothing about living according to the sword that involves posting about it on Cred Forums while ripping on other religious beliefs, or a lack there of

>put in more effort for school
>don't listen to your parents
>get as far away from them as possible
>fuck the debt you'll be free
>focus more on your passions
>do not listen to people when they shit on you
>do not go meet that girl.
>do not. go meet. that girl.

"I got 2 rules for you faggot

1. Don't google futanari
2. Naruto is for fags
3. Remember that you will always be shit at math"

Ye, but sitting on your ass whole day doing nothing probably won't help you get anywhere.

Stick with wrestling, work out, get into MMA, keep talking to that one girl.

Did you get AIDs?

>I straight up told him to his face that I didn't want to join, but my step-father was always there, and forced me to sign up anyway.

I never got the whole my mom made me thing,
Who gives a shit why would you let someone punk you into even going to the recruitment center and WHY FOR GODS SAKE would you let it be your step father.

Also if I was a recruiter I wouldve told you both to fuck off because that just seems wrong, one Im not sending someone where they dont wanna go for four years and two I dont want someone in the military who doesnt want to be there at all

monitor the web for bitcoin, start mining and spend all your cash on them. sell them when they hit 1k

also, try cocaine.

Mom was on-board too. She was Army, he was retired Air Force; military family. Plus, they said in my 11th Grade year, that I either signed up for the Delayed Entry Program, or they'd kick me out before I graduate and send me to go live with my hyper-religious aunt and uncle (who would have forced me to join anyway, or become homeless).

Probably tell myself to go on Cred Forums right from the start and call everyone newfags, maybe post some shitty newfag memes.

Don't let the mercenaries into your plane.

get your thyroid checked and start taking meds! Fuck, all this time I thought I was just fat I could have been in the best shape of my life

Read more
Learn english
Learn programming
Never smoke or drink

>Never smoke or drink
Might as well KYS

that, and don't give a fuck about what others think and do what you want.

praise Satan, and continue being full of hate against humans

Masterbait less work out more. Save your money and go get laid.

Having been drinking since 14 years old partly resulted in problems which may lead to comitting suicide, yes

Turning 21 in a couple weeks, but am in the same boat.

what to prevent STDs? at that point its already too late

Don't hang out with the kid named Sky.

Do not watch an anime called Boku.
Or do, whatever.

Buy netflix shares.
Skate more
Work harder
Save at least 10% of every pay check since age 16

Believe in your self and be more social, look people in the eyes when you talk to them. Eat Roccuatane asap!

Start playing guitar earlier, play less games, read more and exercise more.

lift more

Decide your major before joining a college.
Stick with it.
Also, this is your wife's habits and things she enjoys, now go woo her before all the heartbreak she told you about.

"Kill yourself now
End it early"

If he's smart he'll know that he doesn't since I gave him advice in the future

Trips don't lie

Dont eat your mothers ass.

Dont eat your cum.

Some top quality advice here, user.

666666 get

Dont do it, its your pet.

Focus and stick to smoking weed. Don't fuck with Garrett. The rest is history, you got it.

don't use the chance with that 7th grade girl, you may actually like it and get used to it when u get older

Nobody fucking cares about you so just be yourself and dont let anyone get you down, talk shit to them even if it means they'll hate you.
And do some exercise.

Never fuck your best friend

Fuck 'em right in the pussy

Advise, fuck that. I would give him the lottery numbers, football matches results and other valuable information.

STOP BEING AFRAID OF EVERYTHING. Leave your fucking room for once, seriously, nobody is staring at you. Nobody cares about you enough to think you're strange. Just get out there, talk with people. You have all these cute girls literally asking directly to fuck you, stop being such a fucking pussy and just take them up on the offer. You won't be getting any pussy for a long time until you finally stop being such a pussy yourself, so stop being a beta faggot and go do it.

"Look just pay attention alright? You don't want to be 28 and writing the GED, it's fuckin embarassing"

Do it.

ok quick question for op will i be able to see the future and be able to reverse it ? if so i would tell my younger self to get bold and be alpha and fuck a grill at 15