Hey Cred Forums. I turned 20 today. I live in a pretty disadvantaged area...

Hey Cred Forums. I turned 20 today. I live in a pretty disadvantaged area, I don't have any friends anymore because I bottle up my emotions and sperg on people close to me. I recently lost my job and apartment, I've got a girlfriend and I've loved her from the moment I met her but I just can't help but feel like after 2 years she doesn't feel the same anymore. My family thinks I'm useless, nobody wants to be around me because I can't have fun anymore since I'm so depressed. Every time I get ahead I'm shoved even farther back than I started off it seems. I know chances are me posting this will do nothing, but I've got nowhere else to vent. So I suppose a vent/feels thread?

Life doesn't get better. Give it 5 years, then an hero. That's my plan, I only have two left. Unfortunately lucky, my will be me to the grand punch line.

No

I was thinking about it, and honestly I know I wouldn't be missed. They'd all pretend for a while but they'd forget eventually. Just like they did my grandfather, the only man in my life who cared enough to try and steer me on the right path. My father spent most of my life in and out of jail and when he was home I was the one behind bars. My mother, she tries her best but I know she's too concerned with immediate problems to see what's going on with me. I think tomorrow I might do it. At least I made it to 20 huh..

it def does get better, you just have to find your "thing" that changes everything. For me it was yoga/meditation - through it I got fit, calm, met great friends, and all this made immeasureable impact on my life. For you it might be that too (give it a try) or something completely different - but if you give up and stop trying, you'll never find it or never know how good it can be. So, keep trying - and focus on yourself rather than worry about what others think or not think about you. You're your own person.

Also, get out of this toxic side, go outside and do something. Stop reading motivational posts or staring at the screen at all, just go outside every day and do something you haven't done before and in the evening write down what you've learned. Make a budget. Set some easy goals for this year. Rinse and repeat.

Ive been diagnosed with a type of depression that basically causes me to depend on other people for happiness or I'll fall into this sickening black hole. I try so hard to be my own person but no matter how hard I try I never seem to fully reach anything. I don't know what to do.

Just work...
Eventually with the overtime you'll just lose yourself to the work. It's a bit scary at first, but it also pushes you to want to explore life. If you can even just get on your feet a bit, I hope you take the time to explore the world. There's so much neither of us have seen, and to not experience it all I believe, would be a mistake.

Good luck :)

Like I said I live in a very disadvantaged area. I barely found the job I did have and before that I made my way selling junk. I've seen a lot of close friends die that way and I just can't see the point in going on anymore.

I just turned 18 and I haven't accomplished anything. I think that when I turn 30 and I haven't lost my virginity or found a girlfriend yet, it'll be a good time to shoot myself.

I also feel like shit because I have a coworker at work who's just a dick to me.

I see...
I would say move, but that isn't practical, now is it? :/

Do what you think is right... But I think you should think shit through in any scenario...

All my friends moved to college and now its just me and a few of them. One of my best buds moved away and we were really close and as gay as it sounds I really miss that fucker

I feel like all I really want is someone to be happy with, someone who would care about me, someone to come home to that couldn't wait to see me. I don't even want to have sex if I could have someone who I could cuddle with every night

I guess the only thing in life I'm looking forward to is killing myself at 30, only 12 more years for me boys.

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Know ThySelf

triviumeducation.com start from here

or just dig a hole and die

I have someone I can do that with, only she doesn't want to anymore..

You totally missed the point. I'll hell you get it.
Do more things. If something goes bad and you don't like it, do other things until you find your passion. I thought it was videogames for me, but then I happened to get an os broken phone and fixed it. Then I fixed another and repaired others and I discovered I like tech and repair/solve things. Now I'm in my bachelor's degree studying for oilfield engineer because all there is are problems and I love to fix things.

So, focus on the bright side of things. If its not bright, get out and do something else

I try believe me. I try and work on cars, I try and play instruments but none of it can distract me for very long.