Hey Cred Forums i fucked up. I flipped out on my dad and grabbed him by the throat and started screaming at him

hey Cred Forums i fucked up. I flipped out on my dad and grabbed him by the throat and started screaming at him.

When I was younger he hit me a few times, and one time backed me into the bathroom while I was trying to get away from him. He put his finger in my face while I was backed against a wall, and I pushed it aside. He flipped, grabbed me around the throat and started screaming that I would NEVER "raise my hand" to him.

Well its been a bunch of years, I'm older, he's older. I've mostly dealt with this shit...

>Talking to Dad and Mom about Sister - she has some emotional problems
>Dad is being dismissive
>"What did I ever do?!"
>user: are you serious? We've had this conversation many times. You have been in therapy sessions with her to discuss it ( he would walk out every time in a rage ).
>mom: lets not discuss this
>dad: no tell me. I won't get mad or anything. I want to know! ( angry / loud )
>I start talking about something easy... not to confrontational... something about being raised by relatives due to a messy divorce... and how that was hard on us.
> ??? no idea what happens here , no memory of event ???
>Next thing I know I've crossed the room and am screaming at him, my finger in his face
>daring him to knock my hand aside
>he doesn't
>Grab him around the throat anyway. Ask him how the fuck it feels. Watch his face turn red.
>Let go
>still screaming at him and mom dad get their stuff and leave my apartment


fuck man. I don't know what happened. maybe he smirked at me or something? but fuck fuck fuck. He's like an old guy. He wasn't an amazing father or anything, but I love him I think and I feel like I just did the stupidest thing ever. I feel angry and sad and _Scared_ I feel like he is going to come in and hit me or something. I'm an adult and I'm still fucking scared of this old guy. Not really, but that is how i feel in side.

don't have anyone I can talk to about this, so figured I'd be a faggot and post here.

>mfw I google for "Rage image" and all I find are rage comics and have to use a shitty picture of lady yelling at old phone.

bump

How did you walk without a spine? You are supposed to be scared of your old man when hes angry at you. But you are a grown man, get over it.

...

There's obviously a lot of anger beneath the surface. Forget that incident, I want to know if you always explode this way, op.

i hear you

no. I do have a temper sometimes, but I've never physically gone after someone like that. I'm usually pretty calm in a crisis - but there are a few things that can push my buttons

Or is this an isolated incident of explosive rage?

I'd say its pretty isolated - I can ramp up to yelling pretty fast, especially with family - everyone in our family yells and shit. picture stereotypical Italian family talking politics at dinner table.

I think we all came to the realization long ago that my Dad was never going to "get" it. That his attitude to all of it is "fine, get over it already". I know it was about more than that one incidents - it is years of living in fear of him as a kid - scared when he would come home - he was/is just always angry, verbally abusive, explosive temper.

I have some of that, just like .5% of what he has, and when friends have seen me explode they are normally like "what the fuck you are always so calm and quit "

Your temper is the focus here. The big picture. Whatever happened with your fadder could have been justified. It may not have been. You have to determine if you flipped out with good reason or not. But it's that temper that worries me

Just let him put hands on you then hit him a good couple of times. If you look him up to bed and the police will side with him because you went too far, but if you don't leave much damage still just call it he said she said if you claim self-defense.

Could just let him know after that leave that if he ever does anything like that again you'll put him 6 feet under the earth

Maybe this will make him reflect on it. Some people have to learn the hard way.

Sounds like some pent up rage, don't carry that shit around.

of course it wasn't with good reason. there is no good reason for grabbing someone by the throat like that.

I called and apologized and he was like "well, I'm glad you got that out of your system. See I'm over it already?"

For some reason this just makes me fucking angrier.

oh and he said I needed counseling.

I don't want to hurt him, and I don't think he could hurt me physically if he tried anymore. He is still bigger than me, but he's an old guy now you know? I should have legit kicked his ass when I was younger or something.

Oh, ok. I get it. Listen, op. I want you to do something for me whenever someone lights your fuse, ok? Whenever you're about to really lose your shit, I want you to picture the time in jail you will do if you go crazy on that person, ok? It happened to me. I went crazy and threatened someone and I got a terroristic threats charge. It's better to walk away, ok, buddy? Remember. Just think of jail, and you'll ground yourself when you're about to flip out.

how do I not? I literally don't know what to do with how fucking angry and hurt I am. I feel like a total fucking pussy, and don't know why I can't "get over it" and shit.

I keep it bottled up pretty well most times - but something about this conversation - him having NO idea what he could have done wrong. One daughter cuts and burns herself. The other Daughter has been institutionalized. I had a massive drug problem. How the fuck could he not have ANY fucking idea of something he _might_ have done wrong.

>ITT: Cred Forums becomes a therapist for a day

...

fuck man. that is rough. yeah I definitely don't want to go to jail, or even hurt someone - I'm really not that kind of person.

I don't know if I can do that though - when I blow up, I don't feel in control. It just happens.

yeah surprised I haven't been told to rape him to show him who is boss.

I've been through something similar with my dad user, except they had me thrown in jail and tried pinning me with a felony for battery by strangulation. Honestly it's good you got that out of you and feel remorse. Give it some time and apologize and yall will be better than ever

fuck man. How did you deal with the charges?

You pretty much ruined your relationship with your dad for the rest of his life. You cucked the shit out of him and there is no way to undo it either.

I did something similar years ago and my father was never the same to me after it, it felt good in the moment but it's like shaving the mane off an old powerful lion. I always regret I did it and there is never a day I wish I had not.

Even if you both know the balance of power changes you should never push it and make it obvious, it's about respect. Friend of mine lifts weights, he could beat the shit of me of easily but he still shows his dad 100% respect.

>I don't feel in control. It just happens.
Gratz on psychosis
Respect elders you fuckwit. It doesn't cost all that much. Let me guess, you're a coddled pos millenial

Judge knew it was straight shit and dropped it to domestic violence and criminal mischief. Spent one night in jail and over 1k in my "rehabilitation"

thats good. are you able to get your record cleared at any point?

Fuck your old man. He deserves all the grief you can give him. That being said, you don't want to go to jail over him. Don't give him the satisfaction.

The best thing you can do is ghost him. Don't ever see or speak to him again. Or for the rest of his life. Which will be coming sooner rather than later. When he realizes he's gonna die without seeing his son one last time and it's his fault, that's gonna sink in hard.

And skip out on his funeral too. You don't want to comfort people saying, oh he would've wanted you there

It's been a few years and they recently lifted their pussy ass restraining orders, even though they wouldn't leave me alone the whole time they were active. My records supposed to be clear, but for some reason I still can't pass a background check. Thank god for legal loopholes and the south lol

was he abusive with you growing up? what caused you to flip out when it happened?

if you feel sorry, then just apologize tomorrow or the next day.

I did, and now I feel like a fucking pussy. I wish I still did drugs and shit - I hate how I feel.

>thinks most fathers care about this shit
You're 13 aren't you?

When your dad gets really pissed off at you as a kid its usually for a good reason or an isolated incident:accident. You should learn from it, at the very least not to piss off your pops or talk back because nothing good comes from it. Steaming over it for years is counter productive.

>piece of shit raises a piece of shit

It's not you're fault you are just mimicng shit he did to you in a fit of rage. Go get some therapy and apologize to him.

I wouldn't go so far as abusive, but there were a few times shit happened. First time he put me into the wall when I was 8/9.
When I flipped is because they hid my fucking car (they cosigned so in their eyes it was their car) we got into an arguement, ge grabbed my throat and I fought back. He's a big dude, I'm not, but cops are dicks

Thats some horribly angry shit there dude. I doubt your parents are that scummy youd do that to them.

I yelled at him that he fucked up all his kids, and he would die old and alone.

I swear he gave me a trump smug ass shrug. so I think you might be right about that one lol.

He hit me when I was 10 because I handed him the wrong wrench while he was working on a water pump. So it wasn't always for a good reason. I mean that one time, I don't even remember what I did that pissed him off. It might have been legit, you know? Like maybe he should have grabbed me by the throat or something, I don't fucking know. Its really confusing. I really wish I could let it go, its not like I enjoy carying this shit around with me. I feel like some emo faggot posting pics of himself crying on his IG.

yeah that is fucking bullshit.

Does your first name start with a d

no, sorry. I'm sure my story isn't all that rare though.

yes Deez

Dude, don't sweat it. It sounds like he just got what was coming to him. I don't wanna do anything to him now, we're all good, but damn I wish I hurt him when I had the chance, but I didn't wanna go to jail lol anyway, just relax and apologize and things should be downhill from here

You're a super typical abuse survivor. No, a kid doesn't deserved to be grabbed by the throat by a full grown man because he's mad at something. You're dad is an abuser and probably abuse survivor and you are too. Go get your head shrunk.

well we've given him a million passes on his rage bullshit, I guess maybe I can get one for a change.

How do you keep it from being an issue? like I just sort of lost my shit out of nowhere it seemed.

ok thanks I think I needed to hear that

It's kinda settled now. He realizes he screwed up and he's getting too old for the shit. Now he just gets butt hurt about petty shit and runs away, it's kind of hilarious

Your father raped your sisters so the piddly shit you are talking about has very little to do with why they are messed up. He knows the real reason they are messed up so the stuff you are saying is having no effect. You don't understand how bad he really fucked them up.

oh trips :( plz don't be tru