Having lurked this place for about 6 months now, I have been curious about prostate massage and hands free orgasms...

Having lurked this place for about 6 months now, I have been curious about prostate massage and hands free orgasms. (no homo)
About two hours ago, I was searching through my little sisters room looking for some weed and I found a vibrator in her pantie drawer.

When I found her vibrator I instantly wanted to try to massage my prostate with it. Clearly, you fucking fagots have turned me into a degenerate. I've never tired prostate massage before, primarily because I don't own a vibrator.

Long story short, I ended up turning it on and putting it in my ass and it went too far in and now I can't get it out.

I tried sitting on the toilet and shitting it out, but all that did was make me cum so hard that I fell off the toilet and hit my head on the bathtub. I spent about 10 minutes writhing on the floor because I can't get it out and the sensation is really intense.

It's still on. It's driving me crazy. I came twice already. It's really small, like only about 3-4 inches long.
How do I get my little sister's vibrator out of my ass?

Try shoving a rope in there to pull it out

Pic with timestamp faggot

This is fucking gold

Post pics of your sister

better yet just leave it in and see how many fags walk by without even noticing
you'll show them
fucking faggots

>dat filename

I think I know her. She looks like a girl who goes to my school.

Consider getting covered.

B8?
If not, epic thread

If it's able to make you cum it's near the rectum at the bottom.

Even its it's like 4" up you want be able to feel it in your prostate.

You'll be find just eat a bunch of shredded wheat or something and it will pass.

Build a time machine and go back in time and stop yourself from putting it into your ass. I know this causes a paradox but you don't have many options

He did. Look at the filename.

if worse comes to worse go to your local drugstore or pharmacy and buy a home enema.

HAHAHAAA, you're fucked mate. Literally.

However, you might be able to get it out if it has any kind of raised edge along the bottom. Ram some tweezers or a plastic clothes pin in your ass and try to grab it.

Kek

Post a pic with a timestamp, you fucking faggot

I can feel it when I put my finger in my ass. I can get two fingers in my ass, but I can't separate them far enough to get the vibrator between them so that I can pull it.

I spent like 40 minutes trying, and that's what caused my second orgasm.

Was literally about to post this.

Timestamp of what? My tits?

I'M A DUDE!

Seriously guys, I need some real help here. I can't take it anymore.

You might need someone else to pull it out of your ass. Ask your sister for help.

>pics
>s

OP. are you, eh, power tool savvy?

Now this might sound a bit extreme but, if you have a cordless drill and a fair size drill bit, you could drill into the vibrator and then torque the bit to grab it.

I know it sounds nuts to put a running drill in your ass, but hey, it might work.

weak b8 m8

Pics or it didn't happened. Also, your a massive faggot OP. B8 thread 2/10

Mad kek

You have to shove another dildo in there.
Go to a sex toy store (usually open late) and tell them the situation. They will lube one up and send it in after it. They see this type of shit all the time.

DO NOT TRY THIS

What breed of horse gave birth to you?

Chek'd and kek'd

This faggot's lying
I've seen it work

k. I found my dad's drill.

What do I do?

You're fucked mate. Can you drive? Laxatives or hospital are options

You need the "i fucked up" set of drill bits for stripped screws/bolts. You may want to practice on actual bolts.

why not shove more things up your ass op? Take your mothers salad tongs and pull out the vibrator

have you tried turning it on and off?

This is not a bad idea.
High kek

officially b8

Alright, what you're gonna want to do is get, say, a drill bit about the diameter of a pencil and lock it in the chuck.

Now you're going to want to carefully spread your asshole so the bit can clear the o-ring without touching. Put the bit against the base of the dildo, and on a medium speed slowly drill into the base.

Eventually you should pop through the bottom of the dildo, at which point you can angle the bit and use it to pull said dildo out.

I feel it would be irresponsible to not talk about the cons here though. If you end up puncturing the battery your asshole will literally burn out of your butt.

...

pour olive oil in your ass and shit it out 15 min later

POST A PIC WITH THE DRILL NEXT TO YOUR ASS. WITH TIMESTAMP.

+1

Ask your sister to help you with her nimble fingers.

Oh shit. I didnt even think of that. That would fucking suck.

This

...

Do it

Smoke a cigarette or two. Make sure you smoke those mofos hard. Nicotine stimulates the intestines, it'll make you feel like taking a shit. It might help, and it's non-invasive so worth giving a try before other things.

Now let's get some fucking pictures goddamnit.

This thread is fucking gold.

PLEASE more of that qt.

Bomp

Later, at OP's house...

>Father keeps knocking on bathroom door
- Dad, I need to tell you something. I'm Not Gay, but... I read online, and... I borrowed my sister's vibrator to try and achieve prostate orgasm, and now I can't get it out...
- Son... what the fuck...

OP is a faggot lol

Op here. I accidentally drilled a hole in my anus.

Someone screen cap this. Include me in it too, hi mom!

OP
TRY THIS

Caffeine breaks down into 3 substances, one of which relaxes some muscles in the anal area. That's why elderly folks are discouraged from drinking coffee. I use it to fix constipation problems, myself.

Just don't drink too much, or you'll get the reverse effect due to caffeine poisoning, and that won't look very well combined with your current situation.

fuck that guy. put me in almost completely covering his comment

"what the fuck did you do to my drill "

TOP FUCKING KEK

Fuck you. You stupid nigger, I deserve this spot. I called it first.

ah fuck, i kneel to dubs

Bump. Op please come back.

If a thread ever deserved a bump this would be that thread!

Well done OP

Thanks baby

Wow. Fresh bait! Nice!

tomate unos mates un tecito que te limpian el estomago, user

Oh wow. I just masturbated to a story like this.

The fact you idiots are falling for this is pathetic.

Fuck it, I'm interested. moar?

c'mon faggot post your cum covered bathroom floor

Fuckin kek esp picturing the 10 min part
>9/10

OP is ded

He died from intense anal satisfaction the gayest way to die ever

Laxative. You need to shit it out, no other way.

yes, i imagine he was found in a puddle of his own cum, a faint buzzing sound emanating from his anus

Sister: Where the fuck is my vibrator?
Notices bathroom door is locked.
Sister: Doug (Idk but a dude who gets a vibrator stuck in his ass is probably named Doug) Uhhh why the fuck do you have my vibrator?!?!?
Doug: Why do you even have one!
Sister: Stop fucking with it and give it back!
Doug: I fucking wish I could its stuck.
Sister:Stuck? Stuck where!?!?
Doug: In my ass.
Sister: Hahaha good luck faggot.
Doug: Help Me Please!
Sister: Nope I'm just gonna buy a new one faggot enjoy prostate pleasure while you sufffocate in cum.