Hey b

Seriously, mix two heaping tablespoon full of sea salt into a large glass of water and chug that on an empty stomach (at least 2 hours) Then drink one or two more tall glasses. Don't go anywhere for 5+ hours.

I think imma explode

Unless you have a better way to break up the shit then you aren't getting things out of your pooper either...

Drank like half a box of andrews and all it gave me was farts

Your stool is too hard, you are going to need to use your hands or a utensil...

Eat prunes

if its opioid constipation nothing over the counter works, you have to go though the whole colonoscopy ritual google it

Stimulate your anus

I feel like hotkinkyjo

How did u know? Took like 300 mg of tramadol the other day havent shited since

First stop being stressed. Stressing out about it will only make things worse. It will happen when it happens.

Next go get some Milk of magnesia. Take the largest recommended dose and drink a 16 ounce bottle of water. You may want to be prepared to be up all night shitting.

Might have to enema myself

Remember to vote everyday.
worldwide.vote/hillary-vs-trump/#/

Need this m8

Trump is a ignorant shitebag but what does that have to do with my bowels

lucky guess?? even enemas don't work, good luck call your doctor ask for that nasty colonoscopy drink its the only thing that works

Drug store. Enema. Saline or mineral oil. Up ass. Works fast

Googled dat shit man i dont need no colonosopy just a fucking laxitive fggt

Can i wait it out?

I'm talking from experience asshole, you asked for help, we supply wisdom. Colonoscopy or kitchen utensils. Your choice.

eat 4 apples and drink milk of magnesia bud.

also, if you have a detachable shower head, put it on the fastest/hardest setting and just blow the water up your asshole.

Was thinking of this

Use glicerine

Pray to god its not your appendix and then get a spoon and start scoopin turds out of your asshole

>Hey b
>Im constipated af
>Wat do?
>
>Havent shitted in 4 days

2 Tbsp of Epsom salt in 22 oz of water. Be prepared for some very serious shitting.

I personally poop about once every 14 days or so although I don't eat much. but I don't think 4 days will hurt you.

You should see a doctor about that. Incredibly unhealthy for you.

eat a load of fruit, then go for a run, wearing compression gear if possible. never fails.

Haven't shit for a month before. Drink lots of water and eat banana and exercise instead of sitting on your ass all day

BTW when you do shit it out it's going to be a big log

I haven't been sick or had to go to a doctor in years I feel fine I don't have a hard time using the bathroom either all good

Just take a crap man

You've never heard of laxatives?

Drink 75cl of prune juice. Wait an hour, then drink a pint of water. In about 45 mins, shit's gonna get real and stay real for about 2hrs. Alternatively, drink around 150ml of Milk of Magnesia. Prune juice is more pleasant, but make sure it's cold.

Drink some apple juice faggot.
Also *of *what *pooped... you sound like a retard

Pump your ass with mineral oil then let that shit flow.